So in case you missed it (what are you, stupid?), the Victoria’s Secret fashion show brought its whiz-bang over to Miami Beach for one of those exclusive fashion shows where hot girls dress up in lingerie and pretend they want to do you. All of you. Even Slow Johnny, who can barely answer the phone without vomiting. Anyhoo. So, while in Miami Beach, the Victoria’s Secret angels decided to go out for a walk on the beach. In matching white two-piece bikinis. Okay, so it was more like another crass commercial photoshoot, but am I complaining? Hell no! There were way too many angels there to get them all, but all the major ones were there, including Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller, Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, Karolina Kurkova, Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel. So what do you do when you have these many hot girls in bikinis at the same place? Well, trying to get them all into your eyeball would just damage your eyeballs beyond reason, so let’s play “Find the Victoria’s Secret Angel with the tramp stamp!” One of them has it. Can you name her? I bet you can’t!
When you’re a Victoria’s Secret model, you basically have one job: sell, sell, sell. Sell what? Um, whatever it is they think of to sell, which could be anything from undies you can eat to machineguns. Okay, so Victoria’s Secret doesn’t sell machineguns just yet, but trust me, it’s only a matter of time. (Yeah, right, like you guys wouldn’t buy an assault rifle if Miranda Kerr was holding it in an ad — while dress in her undies, of course. Two, please!) So with the holidays on the horizon, the Victoria’s Secret girls are out in force doing what they do best — selling the brand. Now normally this many hot women in one place would give me the vapors something awful, but since I’m not a Southern Belle, I’ll just have to deal with it. Present and accounted for are Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova, Selita Ebanks, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller and Miranda Kerr. (I think there is one girl there who I haven’t seen before…)
Yeah, yeah, so there was a great football game going on at Superbowl 42 (Roman numerals are so last week), but the real great stuff was going on in the background, what with all the high-priced hookers, celebrity parties, and then there’s this Victoria’s Secret extravaganza, where Victoria brought out the big guns to entertain the masses in the form of Adriana Lima, Selita Ebanks, and Karolina Kurkova. Okay, so maybe Lima is the only big gun, but you know, throw in a hot blonde and an equally hot African American and you got yourself a royale supermodel bash. Check them out at the VS party doing what they do best — looking hot by just showing up.
A sea of hotties on a Tuesday night? Why not? Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova, Caroline Trentini, Flavia De Oliveira, Heather Marks, Selita Ebanks, Jessica Stam, Izabel Goulart, Katja Shchekina, Raquel Zimmerman, and Julia Stegner doing the Victoria’s Secret 2006 fashion show. In their underoos. Really, really sexy underoos. Dear God, I think I’m in love. Like, every other second, I mean. ‘Nuff said.
Hot Czech model + luxury hybrid model = hot cakes! Or at least that’s probably what the makers of the new Lexus GS 450h Hybrid car were thinking when they hired Victoria’s Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova to model their new ride. Of course by the looks of things, I don’t think poor Karolina knows how to drive a Lexus, much less “model” one. Isn’t she supposed to be wearing skimpy bra and panties and rubbing up against it and such? Man, these supermodels can’t sell a car to save their life. I bet Heidi “Anything for a buck” Klum could do a better job…
Our Sunday random supermodel of the day is Karolina Kurkova, a Czech supermodel hailing from, well, the Czech Republic. Besides being a total hottie, she’s also a total humanitarian, and even won some hardware for her work the non-profit organization, Women Together, which I believe was created to promote woman-on-woman lovin’. Where can I sign up?
Three lovely underwear models Karolina Kurkova, Gisele Bundchen and Adriana Lima at an event shilling for their sugar momma, Victoria and her Secret. Is it me or is Adriana Lima really vamping it up here? And do the other two girls look annoyed or what? Actually, Karolina Kurkova looks like she’s sleepwalking, but maybe it’s just the meth. I hear supermodels do meth like some of us throw football around in the yard. Okay, that makes absolutely no sense. Just ignore me.
Another Czechoslovakia blonde beauty bombshell takes over the New York modelling scene. This time it’s long hair, 5′10″ uber hottie Karolina Kurkova, here modelling some bras and panties and proving that the Eastern Europeans, despite failing as a society, still knows how to produce really, really hot women. Damn!