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More Keeley Hazell in Lynx Adverts
Hey, remember Keeley Hazell? Of course you do. Sure, it’s been a while since we found out what was happening in the world of Keeley (remember, it’s Keeley Hazell’s world, we just live in it), but apparently she’s still selling Lynx Dry ads. Hey, a gal’s gotta make a living, and it beats digging ditches, though I’m sure the guys who dig ditches are probably saying to themselves, it beats cleaning sewage. What what are the guys cleaning sewage saying? Is there a worst job than that? Probably not. Anyways, Keeley. Lynx ads. Hot.
Keeley Hazell in Motor Storm Pacific Rift Promos
10 November 2008
You know, I play a lot of Playstation 3 games, but somehow I’ve never heard of Motor Storm Pacific Rift. Okay, so I’ve heard of Motor Storm, and I actually own the bloody thing, but I didn’t know it had a sequel coming out soon. Well guess what? Thanks to the brilliant idea of hiring British glamour model babe Keeley Hazell to help promote their game, I’ve now become familiar with Motor Storm Pacific Rift, and while I don’t know if I’ll go out and buy it, I might think twice if I run across it at my local electronics store, or as we call it around these parts, them fancy place where they sell them fancy computers and whatnot. So in that way, the guy trying to sell Motor Storm has succeeded, and it’s all thanks to Keeley Hazell. And her rack.
Keeley Hazell in Lynx Dry Adverts
21 August 2008
How long has it been since we indulged in a little gratuitous Keeley Hazell posting? Wait, wait, don’t answer — it’s obviously a trick question. The right answer is, “Any day without a gratuitous Keeley Hazell post is TOO long!” Yeah, that’s the ticket. Anyways, here’s a reason to finally make another post on the UK’s hottest glamour model — her adverts for Lynx Dry, which I think is some kind of deodorant. Or shampoo. Or maybe it’s a futuristic device that, when sprayed on the body, magically makes you a shirt out of scratch. But don’t take my word for it; check out these Keeley Hazell adverts and call me in the morning. Or, er, on second thought, don’t. I hate phone calls in the morning.
Keeley Hazell in FHM Once More
27 March 2008
You know, originally I wasn’t going to post these pictures of Keeley Hazell back in the pages of FHM, because I thought, “How many Keeley pics have I posted over the years? A gazillion? Man, I’ve had enough of her.” And then another part of my brain piped up with, “What are you, retarded? Post the pictures!” And since I’m sort of scared of that guy (he’s kind of loud), I of course have posted Keeley Hazell’s return to FHM. The girl is still looking good, no doubt, but I gotta say, slowly but surely, Keeley is starting to lose that “wow” factor that she once had when she first showed up on the scene. Still not bad, but I’ve seen much, much better work from her.
Keeley Hazell Does Stuff with Statues
28 February 2008
Now I’m sure there is a perfectly good reason why the gorgeous Brit Keeley Hazell is wearing a itty bitty two-piece bikini and high heel “Do Me” pumps out in the open and posing with some brown-coated statues (seriously, why are those statues brown? They look like — well, you know). I’m sure it has something to do with that bottle she’s holding, but I just don’t care. Look, it’s a really hot British girl in a two-piece bikini wearing do me heels and posing with three very horny looking statues that look like they’re about to jump her at any moment. Seriously, and you want me to worry about what she’s holding in her hand? Um, maybe after I take care of some, you know, business…
Keeley Hazell Lingerie Madness
7 February 2008
I know we’ve posted Keeley Hazell hundreds of times here at the Random Page. Okay, okay, so maybe not hundreds, but definitely dozens, if not more. And why not? She just keeps getting hotter and hotter everytime we see her, and if that doesn’t justify posting even more pictures of her, then I don’t know what would. In any case, here are even more Keeley Hazell pictures, this time in that wardrobe that she does best — lingerie. Yes, it’s Keeley Hazell Lingerie Madness, starring Keeley Hazell and that fabulous, curvaceous body of hers. I don’t know what is it about Keeley Hazell that makes me sit up and take notice, but I’m willing to bet it has something to do with, er, everything?
Keeley Hazell 2008 Calendar
12 October 2007
It may be October in 2007, but don’t let that stop you from ordering your copy of Keeley Hazell’s upcoming 2008 calendar. Yeah, yeah, so you’ll have to wait two more months to actually use them — that is, if you’re one of those losers who buys calendars to, you know, actually use them in the first place, I mean. The rest of us mere mortals buy calendars like Keeley Hazell’s to stare and ogle when our girlfriends or wives aren’t looking. That’s what being a real man is all about, bro. In case you’re still not sure if you want to fork over the cash, take a look at Keeley’s 2008 calendar. All doubt will be erased from your weak, weak mind.
Keeley Hazell Returns
6 September 2007
It’s been a while since we made a totally gratuitous post on Keeley Hazell, so today is a good day as any to remedy that mistake. Here’s Keeley, apparently having survived her sex tape scandal (right, like that was EVER going to do anything but make her more famous, har har), back in Zoo Magazine looking as good as ever. I tell you, I don’t know what they’re feeding the British girls over there in Great Britain land, but they should keep it up. Every one of these glamour models look spectacularly good. Not just good, but SPECTACULARLY good.
Keeley Hazell Gets Me Animated
27 July 2007
To no one’s surprised, even animated as a Simpsons character, Keeley Hazell looks like a billion bucks. And yes, even in clothes that looks horrid in real-life, she cuts a fine figure. Then again, I don’t know why celebrities, especially the really sexy ones, go out wearing such clothes. Maybe I’m not a fashion guy (hell, I have two T-shirts and one pants, period), but I can’t stand seeing gorgeous women going out in such a frumpy looking dress. But hey, the dress may blow the big chunks, but the girl inside it still rocks our world. Here’s Keeley Hazell at “The Simpsons” premiere in the UK.
Sunday Treat: Keeley Hazell Classes Up
24 June 2007
Well well, look who survived her recent sextape scandal without a single scratch on her. Then again, we are talking about Keeley Hazell, who spends her time taking her clothes off for the camera, so how exactly was the existence (and oft-seen!) sextape supposed to “hurt” her career? Exactly. Since it’s Sunday, and Sundays are in general very slow and boring days, here’s a nice Sunday Treat to get you through it and onto Monday, which as we all know is the best day of the week. Right? Um, nevermind. Keeley Hazell Sunday Treat it is!
Jill Coccaro aka Phoenix Feeley Settles Topless Lawsuit with NYC
19 June 2007
So basically a hippie chick name Jill Coccaro (who has since changed her name to Phoenix Feeley, thus proving my assertion that she’s a “hippie chick”) decided to walk around topless in New York City two years ago in 2005 and got arrested for her troubles. She was eventually let go when the NY Prosecutor decided not to press charges. But being the hippie chick that she is, Feeley decided to sue the city, and two years later, has won a $29,000 settlement. So basically, Jill Coccaro went for a walk with her apples exposed and got arrested by cops working for the Big Apple. Har har, get it?
Keeley Hazell Back in FHM
4 April 2007
You can’t keep a British sexpot down. Keeley Hazell is back is FHM Magazine in all her bikini glory. And if you can’t appreciate Keeley Hazell for looking really good with as little clothes on as possible, then how about her environmental good work? The UK’s Conservative Party recently named Keeley an environmental hero for her campaigns in the newspaper The Sun, where she gave stunning, insightful advice such as turning lights off during sex and using digital cameras instead of the standard Polaroids. To which we say: You’re our hero, too, Keeley! (But only because you look really good with as few clothes on as possible.) Here’s Keeley back in the latest ish of FHM.
Kiefer Sutherland’s “Phenonemon” Lands at the Sci Fi Channel
22 March 2007
Kiefer Sutherland isn’t just the star of FOX’s “24″, where he plays undefeatable, unkillable, and unstoppable killing, torturing, and badass machine Jack Bauer, he’s also a producer, and one of his shows, the supernatural thriller “Phenomenon”, has landed at the Sci Fi Channel as a two-hour pilot. It’s a test, of course, and if the show takes off, a series isn’t far behind. The Sci Fi Wire says: “Phenomenon” is described as a fast-moving and enigmatic thriller, following a crack team of experts, led by a mysterious young female prodigy, as they investigate bizarre and supernatural anomalies of nature.
Keeley Hazell in Arena Magazine
4 March 2007
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — there is absolutely no reason why I won’t post new Keeley Hazell as I run across them, especially when she looks this good — clothed! Yes, these are pictures of Keeley Hazell with her clothes on — well, sort of. Well, okay, most of her clothes on. The addition of black and white photography is a bonus. Normally photographers shooting pictures of gorgeous women in black and white pisses me off to no end, but with Keeley, it just looks…right. And hot. Did I mention hot? Anyhoo, here’s Keeley in Arena magazine.
Keeley Hazell Invades America — We Surrender!
28 February 2007
Perennial Zoo Magazine cover girl (and inserts — oh what inserts!) Keeley Hazell recently took time off turning on British men everywhere to invade the shores of America — L.A., to be exact, for this incredible photoshoot. (At this point I’m inclined to make some joke about Keeley and the “Hollywood hills” (get it? Keeley has big breasts and there are those “Hollywood Hills”?), but I’m going to refrain because, frankly, it’s undignified, and one of my 30 New Years resolution for 2007 was to be more dignified. Failing that — check out Keeley’s Hollywood Hills! (I’m so ashamed.)
Keeley Hazell Gives Clothes a Try
24 January 2007
For British glamour “It” girl Keeley Hazell wearing clothes is probably like the rest of us being asked to wear just a loin cloth — it just doesn’t feel right! Granted, she’ll probably look a lot better without her clothes on, but since we are a family website (relatively speaking, anyways), that ain’t gonna happen. But look, even with clothes on, Keeley Hazell’s inherent hotness speaks for itself. And if you can’t hear that, you need to dig out them wax buildup, kids, because they’re not healthy. Why, my cousin one had a wax buildup so huge — But perhaps I’ve spoken too much.
Keeley Hazell Sex Tape Surfaces
15 January 2007
You know it had to happen sooner or later. It seems that everytime one of these English glamour models get very big, a sex tape of her released by an ex-boyfriend shows up on the market. Such is the case with current Page 3 wunderkind Keeley Hazell, whose ex has delivered a sex tape of her and he to an adult site that shall remain nameless. (In any case, if you search the net, I’m sure you can find out where the tape currently resides.) But being that today’s world of celebritydom is built more on infamy rather than talent, I’m sure this will only increase Keeley’s popularity. Then again, those two big funbags she has going for her don’t hurt, either.
Keeley Hazell Does Britney Spears
1 January 2007
You know, I usually hate remakes, but I’m going to change my tune now that I’ve seen this Keeley Hazell remake of Britney Spears’ infamous “Oops I Did I Again” music video, where Britney (pre-skank days) dresses up in a Catholic girls’ school uniform and dances about the hallway while doing that “I wanna give you oral sex” thing with her tongue and mouth. Seriously, does she need all that tongue action to sing her poppy vacuous song? Me thinks now. But where was I? Oh right, Brit hottie Keeley Hazell is friggin gorgeous.
Keeley Hazell Cares About Breasts…Cancer
12 October 2006
Keeley Hazell wants to let you know that she cares about women’s breasts, which is only fair, considering how every men in the whole wide world cares very deeply about her breasts. To help fight breast cancer, Keeley’s face will grace Kotex Cares pin badges that will be on sale to help raise awareness. All proceeds will go to Breakthrough Breast Cancer, which funds breast cancer education, advocacy, and research. We here at The Random Page applaud Keeley Hazell for her dedication to caring about breasts, because, by God, we care very much about breasts, especially hers.
Keeley Hazell and Michelle Marsh to hit the Beach in “Baywatch: The Movie”?
23 August 2006
Or at least IMDB.com seems to think so, because they’ve listed the British hottie as “attached” to play the character Caroline Holden, who was originally assayed by Yasmine Bleeth in the TV series. As well, Michelle Marsh has also been “attached” to play Neely Capshaw, originally played by not one, not two, but three “actresses” in the original TV show, making Marsh the fouth to take on the role. That is, if all of this is true. As we all know, anyone and their grandmama can add data to IMDB.com’s movie listing, and it’s anybody’s guess if what IMDB.com’s listing for “Baywatch: The Movie” is true or false or somewhere between a snowball and Hell.
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