| October 3, 2007

Kelly Clarkson Needs to Lay off the Cheeseburgers

Good God, what’s happened to Kelly Clarkson? Okay, so she’s always been a little big-boned, one of those girls with junk in the trunk. That was part of her charm. But damn, this is kinda overdoing the whole junk thing there, Kelly. If Kelly Clarkson isn’t pregnant in these pictures, then she’s really let herself go. Which isn’t such a bad thing, unless you were always a fan of hers, and really hates to see her spiral so hard from attractive pop star to chunky monkey. I mean, wow, what happened? She’s fully developed a second chin and those arms — wow, those arms are growing pretty big there, Kelly. Might want to skip those tripos to McDonalds every once in a while there, American Idol.

| July 15, 2007

Kelly Clarkson Back in Blender

Kelly Clarkson hasn’t exactly had a good run of it in the last few days (or weeks, or months, actually). First there was that highly publicized embarrassment about her concerts not selling out, forcing the entire tour to be scrapped. Then there was a fight with her record label, and then pictures of Kelly looking, shall we say, less than fit and entirely TOO junk-in-the-trunk-ish kept showing up on the net. But let’s leave all that behind for a moment, and concentrate on how Kelly Clarkson looks in her return to Blender Magazine. Not entirely bad, I have to say. Then again, we only see her from the chest up, so… (Damn, that was kinda mean…)

| June 26, 2007

Kelly Clarkson is Getting a Little Fat There…

You know, Kelly Clarkson’s junk in the trunk used to be kinda cute. It made her look like a real girl, with real fat here and there. Now, well, she’s just looking kinda fat, period. And not the phat kind, either. That junk has expanded from her trunk up to her mid section, and it’s trying to get free. Besides that second chin growing in nicely, she’s also filling up in the face area, too. Now I’m not saying she should be stick thin, but come on, if you’re an entertainer, shouldn’t you at least make an attempt to keep yourself somewhat fit? I know she’s going through a lot, what with album sales heading south and concert tour dates canceled because of poor advance sales, but still — sheesh, hire a personal trainer and a chef or something, girl. It’s not like you can’t afford it.

| June 15, 2007

Kelly Clarkson Cancels her Summer Tour, Fans of Big Booty Pop Stars Depressed

Kelly Clarkson fans aren’t going to be happy upon hearing news that their American Idol has canceled her planned summer tour dates because of poor ticket sales. Well, Clarkson doesn’t say it’s because of poor ticket sales on her website, but come on, we know the real reasons. I guess that re-appearance on “American Idol’s” recent season finale didn’t help. Oh well. This news is also a bummer for fans of big assed pop stars. Let’s face it: Kelly Clarkson has a voice, and that voice comes from that big ol booty of hers. Mind you, not that I’m complaining, because junk in the trunk ain’t nothing to be ashame of.

| October 24, 2006

American Idol Kelly Clarkson Confuses Me

Original American Idol Kelly Clarkson confuses me. Well, that’s kind of a broad statement, as women in general confuses me. But Kelly Clarkson in particular. I can’t figure out if this girl is the nice, friendly American Idol winner I voted for (Er, I mean, I saw people vote for. Ahem.), or if she’s a bad girl waiting to get busted for drug possession. Anyways, here’s your latest look at Kelly Clarkson. That ab is starting to get into shape, but those pant legs are about two inches short of full retardation.

| August 18, 2006

Kelly Clarkson Pulls a Mel Gibson, Gets Drunk Off her Ass at a Concert

So how drunk is Kelly Clarkson in these pictures? Dunno, but she looks pretty sloshed to me. Plus, why is an American Idol winner attending a heavy metal band on the Sunset Strip? There is just something so wrong about that statement I don’t know where to begin. In any case, here’s Kelly Clarkson, grabbing a bottle of Chivas Regal by the neck and apparently acting the fool onstage and offstage at someone else’s concert. The pictures make it look like she was really wasted, but the video apparently isn’t all that bad. Eh, you decide.

| August 4, 2006

Kelly Clarkson New Short Haircut

American Idol OG Kelly Clarkson went and got herself a new, shorter haircut. I can’t say as if it looks all that great on her, but then again, I’m no stylist, so what do I know. Here’s Kelly in concert somewhere looking confused, most likely wondering what the hell happened to make her go get such a lousy haircut. But I digress.

| May 3, 2006

Kelly Clarkson Shills for Ford

Being the original American Idol has its privileges, such as getting to sell out for Ford Motors and get a free spanking new Ford Mustang just for taking some photos with the owners in a nice, warmy day and, most likely, doing some TV commercials. I tell ya, the life of a star is sooooo hard. I want a Ford Mustang. When is someone going to send me my Mustang? Anyways, here’s Kelly shilling for Ford. I want one!

| April 18, 2006

Kelly Clarkson = Junk in the Trunk

It comes as no surprise to anyone who has seen her that American Idol herself, Kelly Clarkson, is more than generously endowed, shall we say, in the backside. The girl has junk in the trunk, as the kids would say. Here she is frolicking on the beach in a two-piece bikini, letting all the world get a glimpse of her trunk.

| March 25, 2006

Kelly Clarkson is Getting Sexier

I’ve been posting so much about the new American Idol wannabes that I’ve completely forgotten about the original. Kelly Clarkson is definitely stretching beyond the AI program, and she’s getting to be quite a sexy young woman at that. Check out these photos for proof.

| February 22, 2006

Kelly Clarkson is my Idol

If I was a country girl with dreams of making it big vis-a-vis some reality TV show, that is. Oh, and if I wanted to look hot, cause Kelly definitely looks hot here. Must be before her recent chunky monkey phase…

| February 13, 2006

Kelly Clarkson at the Torino Winter Olympics

Let’s just say that Kelly Clarkson has always had more “junk in the trunk” than most singers, but lately it’s appeared as if she’s, er, built a second junk in that trunk. Regardless, there are news that Simon Cowell and the American Idol guys are getting a bit peeve with their original American Idol, because Clarkson won’t let them use her songs in the show. Apparenlty Kelly wants to dump the date that brought her to the dance, as it were, which if true, would be a really, really big shame. Anyways, here’s her performing at the Torino Olympics in Italy looking like she’s ready to freeze to death.

| February 3, 2006

Kelly Clarkson in Blender Magazine

It looks like the original American Idol continues to take steps toward “The Dark Side” (muahahahahahahha!). Here she is gracing the pages of Blender Magazine in torn stockings and heavy black eyeliner. It’s kind of odd to see her like this, but I guess the music biz had to sink its teeth and claws into her sooner or later. Look at what it did to poor Christina and Britney. From innocent to trash! Oh, Kelly, we hardly knew thee. I expect a nasty spread in Maxim, FHM, or Stuff within the year for Kelly. I wait with bated breath.

| January 13, 2006

Kelly Clarkson in Rolling Stone Magazine

Take a good look, guys, because this is probably as sexy as you’ll ever see America’s sweetheart Kelly Clarkson. Then again, judging by most pop stars and the propensity for skankhood, who knows? Maybe one day we’ll see Kelly in the pages of FHM or Stuff. We can only hope.


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