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Kim Kardashian Brings the Tuesday Bikini Goodness

25 August 2009

Hey, I hear tale that Kim Kardashian is back on the market. True? Not true? Eh, who cares. Here’s Kim Kardashian bringing the bikini goodness on this fine, fine Tuesday. What exactly makes Tuesday so fine? Which part of “Kim Kardashian bringing the bikini” did you not get? Man, some of you guys, I swear, are so thick I can bounce quarters off your heads. Speaking of bouncing quarters off body parts… Yeah, you know where this easy joke is going, right? It’s so easy, in fact, I won’t even do it. Cause that’s just how I roll, bitches.

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Mondays with Kim Kardashian and her Cellulite

8 June 2009

Kim Kardashian has cellulite! Hey, don’t blame me, that’s coming from Kim Kardashian herself, on the recent issue of Life and Style Magazine. Mind you, not that I go around picking up copies of Life and Style Magazine, but this one happens to have Kim Kardashian’s big ol booty on the cover wearing a bikini, and you know me and celebrities in bikinis. I can’t say No to them, even if they have cellulite, as Kim Kardashian declares here. Now I can’t really see any cellulite on Kim’s bountiful body, and who cares, really. More cushion for the pushin’, as the brothas say in the ‘hood.

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Kim Kardashian Bikini Pics Show off the Assets

17 November 2008

You know, I don’t know what it is about Kim Kardashian, but she doesn’t grate on me nearly as much as her fellow rich girl turned pseudo famous rich girl Paris Hilton. Sure, they’re both nearly identical in the way they got their fame, which is to say, becoming famous for being famous (and something about a certain type of tape), but I dunno, I guess Kim Kardashian’s big ass, voluptuous curves, and adorable rack just puts her up above the city named after the city of lights. Hey, you can disagree with me if you want, but just take a look at these bikini beach pictures first, and then we’ll talk. Please to enjoy the big ass and generous rack. In a bikini. Ees nice!

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Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian are Cheerleaders

29 August 2008

Okay, so maybe Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian, as hot and deliciously fantasy-worthy as they are, are about 15 years too old to actually be convincing as cheerleaders, cheerleader outfits notwithstanding, but I’m going to overlook that when “Disaster Movie” opens. Yeah, I know, it’s another spoof film that’s probably going to be funniest for NOT being very funny (get it? ah, you guys don’t appreciate my brilliance), but I’m willing to spend my hardearned money just to see it for that scene with Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian in cheerleader outfits. Yes, I am that big of a sucker. Whatever, man, you don’t know where I’ve been. Stop judging me!

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Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in Bikinis Doing Stuff

16 June 2008

If you were to ask me who Kourtney Kardashian is, and why she qualifies as being a celebrity, I would tell you that she’s the sister of Kim Kardashian, who has her own reality TV show on the E! Channel. Other than that, um, I have no Earthly idea why either one of these ladies qualifies as being celebrities, but they do have really big asses, which, shockingly, doesn’t prevent them from looking like gangbusters in two-piece bikinis. Check them out here, hanging around on a yacht or at the swimming pool or somewhere near water, which is just enough excuse they need to slip on a bikini and go out for a leisurely walk for the camera. God bless America.

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Kim Kardashian is Smoking in Ralph Magazine

17 April 2008

Only in America could a woman with no noticeable talent for pretty much anything wake up one day and decide that she wants to be famous. That’s Kim Kardashian for ya in a nutshell. Mind you, not that I’m hatin’, because when a woman keeps herself looking this fine, and isn’t shy about showing it off, there’s nothing wrong with that. Kim Kardashian appears in Ralph Magazine this month, and in it, she tells the mag that it was her mother who convinced her to do her Playboy spread. Mom, says Kim, is probably living vicariously through her. What are the chances that mom was behind the camera when Kim’s big moment was “leaked” onto the Internet? Naah. Here’s Kim Kardashian in Ralph looking all fine, junk in the drunk included, of course.

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Reggie Bush Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie

9 March 2008

New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush likes bit butts and he cannot lie, as Sir Mix-alot would say. But hey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. As the boys like to say, big butts mean more pillow for the pushin’. Or something to that affect. Luckily for Bush, he’s hooked up with Kim Kardashian, who probably has the biggest butts in all of Hollywood, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Junk in the trunk is a welcome sight from all the skinny bitches currently trolling the halls of Lalaland at the moment. Here’s Kim Kardashian in a bikini showing off the generous package with Reggie Bush doing what rich and famous people do, go on vacation and do that whole beach frolicking thing. Ah, to be rich and famous…

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Kim Kardashian Models some Bikinis

24 January 2008

Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, and yes, a lot of people have said lots about her (she’s not really a celebrity, she actually released her own sex tape for attention, blah blah blah), but you gotta admit, aren’t you kind of glad she did all those things to get famous, if it means we get to see her modeling two-piece bikinis like these? I know I am! Hey, look, this is America, man, and anyone and everyone has the right to do whatever they can to be famous, even if it means being famous for absolutely no reason. God bless Kim Kardashian and her rack.

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Celebrity Cleavage: Kim Kardashian

24 October 2007

You would be forgiven for thinking that all Kim Kardashian has going for her is that pretty face and that massive caboose, since, well, that caboose is so massive that’s oftentimes the only thing of her you see. But hey, our socialite also has some rockin’ rack going on for her, as this installment of Celebrity Cleavage proves. And oh yeah, catch Kim Kardashian on her new E! Reality TV show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”, which I think is about Kim Kardashian and how you need to catch up with her, or something. Um, anyways, expect plenty of Kim Kardashian booty and rack on the show; it’s the least they could do for us, right? Am I right or am I right?

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Kim Kardashian in King Magazine

28 August 2007

Although Kim Kardashian shares a lot in common with her fellow socialite Paris Hilton — including the general lack of talent, the whole “famous for being famous” deal, and the obvious attempt at free attention via a sex tape — for some reason I find Kim Kardashian to be less annoying than Paris. Maybe it’s because Paris just sucks the life out of everything she ends up doing — rather it be music, movies, or TV shows. With Kim, I don’t know, maybe the big butt makes me go easier on her, but she’s not quite gotten to the realm of “so annoying” just yet. Here’s Kim’s latest spread in King Magazine. I don’t know what the theme of King Magazine is, but Kim Kardashian can be my Queen for a day any day. (For now…)

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It Doesn’t Suck to be … Reggie Bush

30 July 2007

It sure doesn’t suck to be Reggie Bush. The former USC running back blasted onto the NFL with the New Orleans after those idiots in Houston took Mario Williams at #1 instead of him, and did to pros just what he has been doing to college athletes — he ran rings around them. And now word is that Reggie Bush is putting it to big booty and bodacious socialite Kim Kardashian, who has yet to meet a famous black dude she didn’t want to cozy that big booty up to. (Did I mention that Kim Dardashian has a really juicy big booty?) Is there any doubt that Bush will be even better in his second NFL career? If this guy doesn’t end up in the Superbowl sooner or later, I’m going to eat my leather shoe, and it tastes really, really awful.

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Monday is Kim Kardashian Asslicious Day

2 July 2007

Saying that famed socialite Kim Kardashian has ass in the trunk is like saying Jessica Alba looks pretty darn good naked. And if you’ve seen that sextape with Kim and boyfriend R.J., well, let’s just say that the girl knows how to put that junk in her trunk to good use. And what’s Monday but Kim Kardashian Asslicious Day? Okay, so that’s not a real official day or anything, but according to my sources (by which I mean I’m making this crap up), Congress is about to look into finalizing the deal to make Mondays Kim Kardashian Asslicious Day for good. In an attempt to help move the bill along, here’s Kim in a bikini. And yes, that stick figure with her in a couple of pictures is Paris Hilton. She’s certainly looking mighty bag and bones pre-prison stint…

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Kim Kardashian Does the Celebrity Sex Tape Thing

11 February 2007

Another (semi) celebrity, another sex tape. So what else is new? Here’s news that Kim Kardashian, daughter of OJ Attorney Robert Kardashian has a new sex tape out on the net. Well, she doesn’t have it out, her ex-boyfriend R.J. does, and he’s already sold it for a cool $1 million to porn company Vivid Entertainment. So what does this mean to you? Well, nothing, of course. Except Kim Kardashian is pretty hot, and has a pretty rockin’ body, and if you’re into celebrity sex tapes, you should be in Heaven by now. Paris Hilton she ain’t — she’s actually much, much hotter.

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