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Anne Hathaway in Get Smart Promos

11 April 2008

You know, it’s good to see that Anne Hathaway has finally found her place in Hollywood, and doesn’t feel the need to “re-invent” herself anymore. A few years ago, the poor girl was so desperate to get out from the shadow of her Disney days, playing faux teenagers in movies about princess and diaries and what have you, that she was doing movies where she’s being trained by Mexican gangbangers in L.A. Now with the success of “The Devil Wears Prada”, I think she’s no longer feeling the need to expose herself that way. Mind you, not that Anne Hathaway still doesn’t look incredibly hot in these promos for the “Get Smart” movie because, you know, she does. Really, really hot.

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Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

1 April 2008

If it’s not obvious by now that Mila Kunis has grown out of her That ’70s Show spoiled Jackie persona into a full-blown hottie, then her turn as the leading lady in the Judd Apatow comedy “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” will just about take care of that. Which is a good thing, because for a moment I was afraid Mila might get typecast in cheesy direct-to-DVD slasher movies (ala “American Psycho 2″), but she seems to have broken out of the bubble that has kept her fellow ’70s Show castmates locked up and away from the public eye (with the exception of Kutcher, of course). Here are some promos of Mila Kunis in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. Kristen Bell may be walking around the movie in a bikini, but Mila Kunis has the plum leading lady role.

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No More Sex-Bomb Roles for Kate Beckinsale

28 March 2008

Much to our chagrin, British import Kate Beckinsale has officially swear off “sex-bomb” roles, by which I mean roles that requires her to vamp and be sexy. The dudes at Contact Music quoted her as saying this: “The sex-bomb thing is totally fun but you want to take the red shoes off sometimes. I’ve been wanting to do something more dramatic. “I don’t regret any of my movies but I do have a certain embarrassment about one or two of them.” So then, Kate, no more Underworld roles where that nice, tight Brit body does more acting than the actual woman? Alas, alas…

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Hollywood Top 5: Lamest Movies Based on Videogames

23 March 2008

Uwe Boll isn’t the only director with a lousy videogame-to-screen movie on his resume. John Leguizamo, The Rock, and even Alyssa Milano has at least one movie based on a videogame that they would rather no one knew about. Curiously, most of the movies on our list comes from the early/mid-90s, when side-scrolling games were at their peak of popularity, which was probably why Hollywood thought they could cash in by throwing money at an awful script and hiring some known names. Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Hopper — big names in Hollywood at the time. The results, alas, were unspectacular. Here, then are the Five Lamest Movies Based on Videogames.

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Leslie Mann in Drillbit Taylor Promos

21 March 2008

In the new Judd Apatow-produced comedy “Drillbit Taylor”, Owen Wilson stops trying to kill himself (er, I mean, stops having medicinal “acicdents”) long enough to star as some guy who hires himself out as a bodyguard to a bunch of kids who are being bullied at school. He claims to be a badass ex-army dude, but of course, we know it’s false, since, well, if he was it wouldn’t be much of a comedy, would it? In any case, during the course of the film, Owen Wilson’s character, Drillbit Taylor, falls for Lisa, an English teacher played by the gorgeous Leslie Mann. The movie actually looks funny, and Leslie Mann is just icing on the cake. Seriously, it’s about time someone gave her a leading lady role instead of the “bitchy best friend” ala “Knocked Up”.

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Ab-licious: Hilary Duff in War Inc.

18 March 2008

Geez, I remember covering this movie called “War Inc” starring John Cusack last year, but never heard hide or hair of the film until now, when someone sent this gorgeous picture of Hilary Duff from the movie. It’s just one lone picture, but it shows a buff and tight Hilary Duff in a midriff baring shirt. In the film, Duff plays a spoiled pop star who gets into all sorts of trouble. And since the movie is Rated R, can we hope and pray for a little T&A? Perhaps, perhaps. But until the film comes out (probably onto DVD, it’s looking like, maybe a slight theatrical run), here’s a little dose of “War Inc” with Hilary Duff. Hotchie matchie!

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More of Kristen Bell in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

13 March 2008

Let’s face it, there’s only one worthwhile scene in the entire “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” trailer that’s even remotely funny, and that’s when the dude tricked his friend’s girlfriend or wife or whoever to faux blow him while they’re talking on the phone. That’s basically it. The rest of the movie looks like it has as many laughs as my daily trips to the gynecologist, where I like to pretend I graduated medical school because, frankly, women are gullible. But I digress. Here are three more reasons to pretend you’re interested in watching “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” if your girlfriend insists on going to go see it. (God bless her if she does.) And yes, all three reasons are Kristen Bell.

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Vanessa Paradis to Make her English-Language Film Debut. Ooh lala.

11 March 2008

You might not know the name Vanessa Paradis unless you’re French (or maybe if you’re European, you might be aware of her), but she’s probably better known as the baby mama of Johnny Depp’s kids. The couple have two children together (although they’re not married, the sinners), and Paradis is an actress and singer. She’s never done an English-language film before, but that’s going to change when she co-stars alongside Michael Madsen in “The Midwife Crisis”. According to this, “The Midwife Crisis” is “the story of a bizarre love affair between a midwife and a loan shark”. I’m guessing Madsen plays the loan shark, and Paradis the midwife. Who has a crisis. Etc.

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Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Strippers

10 March 2008

Hollywood does a lot of things well, but movie strippers is not one of them. More often than not, you’ll get an actress who wants all the cache of being able to say, “I played a stripper in a movie”, but without taking the clothes off. By not stripping, they are technically not playing strippers, as the word “strippers” would seem to imply the “stripping” off one of one’s clothes. Another major problem with movie strippers is the “good girl wants to go bad” syndrome, where an actress known for an innocuous career decides to “shock” us by playing a stripper to prove she’s grown up. Sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn’t. Here, then, are our Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Strippers.

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…Because People Aren’t Having Sex in China

10 March 2008

And you thought American culture was uptight when it came to sex. At least we never banned an actress because she simulated sex on screen! Which is what the Chinese have done with Tang Wei, the female star of Ang Lee’s WWII-era spy/drama/hedonistic fest called “Lust, Caution”. Because of Wei’s sexually explicit scenes in the film, the Chinese Government have decreed that all Chinese State media are to shun the poor girl. Which kinda sucks for Wei, because she currently has a nearly-million dollar deal with skin care brand Pond, and her commercials for them were running in China, the product’s biggest customer base, and with the ban in effect, Tang Wei’s face is to be completely wiped from China’s State-run TVs.

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Willa Ford is Anna Nicole: The Movie Trailer

10 March 2008

Oh come on, admit it, you’re dying to see this train wreck of a movie (kinda like the woman herself — wait, too soon?), so in service of giving my readers (yes, all two of you) what you came here for, here’s the movie trailer for “Anna Nicole”, the made-for-TV movie starring Willa Ford as … wait for it, wait for it … Anna Nicole. It’s directed by Keoni Waxman, veteran of way too many TV movies for someone who (probably) graduated film school with plans to make it big in Hollywood, and written by Joseph Nasser, whose name shows up at the start of the movie as the owner of the production company behind the movie. Wait, did this dude write the movie and then spent his own money to make it? Possibly. Of course I could probably do a little googling and come up with an actual answer, but nah, it might turn out to be wrong and that would just torpedo the last few sentences, which would just suck.

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Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Villains

5 March 2008

Some movie villains are so memorable that you even remember their name, first and last, years after they appeared onscreen as the villain. Who doesn’t know the name Hans Gruber? Or Goldfinger? Or Hillary Clinton? And then there are the ones whose names you can’t even remember seconds after the credit has rolled. And then, there are the ones that even while you’re looking at them onscreen, you can’t even fathom how anyone could conceive of them as villains in the first place. Here, then, are our Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Villains of all time.

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Why Are Spoof Movies Sucking Donkey Balls Lately?

29 February 2008

Didn’t spoof movies like the “Naked Guns” and “Scary Movies” (okay, the first “Scary Movie”) used to be funny? Yes, well, that was then. Every spoof movie right now is sucking so much donkey balls you can practically see how Godawful they’ll be from just the trailers. Here, let me just run down the list: “Epic Movie”, “Date Movie”, “The Comebacks”, “Meet the Spartans”, and the upcoming “Superhero Movie”. Seriously, not a single funny one in the bunch, not even the trailers. And you know that if the trailers aren’t funny, there is absolutely no hope the movie itself will be funny, because all the good stuff gets put into the trailer to lure in the audience. How bad are these movies? So bad that you kind of feel bad for the actors in the movie. I mean, Jesus, to have this crap on your resume…

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The Rain Dance from Step Up 2 The Streets

19 February 2008

So “Step Up 2: The Streets” made a buttload of money over the weekend in its opening debut, scoring more cash than anyone had expected, least of all me, for a sequel to a lame dance movie. The flick stars Briana Evigan, a hot newcomer, and I’m guessing her dance in the rain scene that was all over the film’s trailers (see the scenes below) was what sold it. Come on, how can a really hot girl with torn shirts dancing in the rain to crazy music not get the kids flooding the theaters? Check out the scenes for yourself and tell me you wouldn’t have run out to see this thing if you were, say, under 16. So, uh, why are they dancing in the rain anyway? Um, who knows, but it sure looks good, right?

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Kristen Bell Bikini Pictures from Forgetting Sarah Marshall

21 December 2007

Good God, does Kristen Bell look fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine in a two-piece bikini or does Kristen Bell look fiiiiiiiiiiiiine in a two-piece bikini? Yeah, I’m going to have to go with the former — and the latter. There is a brief scene in Kristen’s upcoming movie, the comedy “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, where Kristen’s character, the titular Sarah Marshall, bumps into her ex-boyfriend in a hotel lobby, and she’s wearing a bikini. And damn, I’m telling you, if that brief moment doesn’t sell this film, nothing will. Check out those bikini pictures from that scene, and the trailer for the movie, below. (And oh yeah, apparently the movie is also pretty funny.)

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Batman: The Dark Knight Teaser Trailer

18 December 2007

Geeks, point up your geek antennaes, because the Dark Knight teaser trailer is here, and oh my frakkin’ God does it look good or does it look good? I’m so lovin’ the gritty, down-to-Earth aura Nolan is doing with this one. And the Joker? Holy crap. Heath Ledger freaks me out, man. I don’t know what kind of make-up they’re using for his face, but it looks soooooooooo creepy. Seriously, wow. Check out the trailer for the movie below. The film is due out sometime next year. Probably Summer, since this kind of movie was built for Summer. Damn it’s good!

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Rambo is Back. You Ready, Bitches?

18 December 2007

You hear that? That’s the sound of some scummy soldier intent on raping the poor, lovely flower that is Julie Benz screaming in pain as Rambo guts him from ear to ear. Yep, there is buckets and buckets of blood in the latest Rambo sequel, to just be called “Rambo”, which I guess is kinda cool. It’s like “Rocky”, except, um, “Rambo”. Hmm, what’s the deal with Sylvester Stallone in movies that starts with “R” and has 5 letter words? And check it out, both titles are the names of his characters. Coincidence? I think not! Anyhoo. “Rambo” opens January 25th, 2008, and here are some stills from it. How badass does this thing look? As badass as Rambo trying to stab you with a snake. I mean, come on, that’s hardcore! You scared yet? Julie Benz is.

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Live-Action Speed Racer Trailer

12 December 2007

One word: Holy crap, this is weird. What the hell were the Wachowski brothers (well, one brother and one sister, now, that one of them went and got his you-know-what snipped off in favor of a you-know-what) sniffing when they shot this thing? It looks like what they were probably intending: an animated movie made in live-action. But if they wanted to make an animated movie in the first place, why didn’t they just, um, do one? Why make it live-action/super-trippy-weird? Oh well, check out the trailer for yourself and judge. Go go Speed Racer go go?

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Katheryn Winnick in Horror Flick Amusement Trailer

24 November 2007

This is interesting. I’ve sort of been a fan of Katheryn Winnick ever since she co-starred in a moderately budgeted horror movie called Satan’s Little Helper. It wasn’t that good, but Katheryn was. And yes, she was what you would call “hot” to boot. So basically, superficial looks being my only real criteria for everything, I of course followed her career. Her latest is the horror movie Amusement. Here’s the plot: “The movie tells the story about three women who are stalked by a killer with a grudge that goes back to the girls’ childhoods. Starring Katheryn Winnick, Laura Breckenridge, Jessica Lucas, Tad Hilgenbrink and more.” Check out the trailer below.

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Rambo to Hell and Back Red Band Trailer

22 November 2007

Rambo is back, and he’s gone to hell and back and he wants to introduce you to pain. Okay, so maybe introduce is too strong a word. Let’s just say he wants to spill your guts and probably eat it too if he has the time. Sylvester Stallone returns in Rambo To Hell and Back (I don’t know if that’s the official title, but maybe), and here’s your look at the Red Band trailer. Red Band trailers are basically R-rated trailers, and whoever cuts them delights in showing you cursing, nudity, and blood and guts. And oh man, does Rambo spill himself some blood and guts in this one! Too bad there isn’t any of the nudity portion, with the movie co-starring the hot Julie Benz and all. Behold: Rambo is back, bitches.

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