In the TV movie The Good Witch, Catherine Bell plays a witch who is, um, good, thus making her the good witch of the title. Easy enough, right? Hey, nobody ever said TV was hard to figure out, unless you were watching, you know, Jeopardy or sumthin’. As I hear it, Jeopardy is pretty bloody hard. Almost as hard as, say, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Britney Spears that she can go from pop princess to the most f’-up girl in the whole wide world. But I digress. Here are some Catherine Bell in The Good Witch promos. If all witches look this good, hey, I wouldn’t mind getting possessed. Wait, do witches possess people? Argh, I gotta catch up on my fictional supernatural gobbly gook.
14 November 2007
Or at least that’s the current rumor circulating around the latest Bond movie, which is Bond 50, I think, although I could be wrong. (I’m probably wrong.) Her name is Mayrin Villanueva, a Mexican actress from, well, Mexico, who has an extensive filmography in Spanish TV. You may have seen her in “Niña… amada mía” or, my personal favorite, “Vecinos”. You know I never miss a single episode of “Vecinos”. Everywhere I go, I make sure to ask the management first if they get “Vecinos” on the tube, because you know, a day without “Vecinos” is a bad day for moi. In any case, Mayrin Villanuev told someone who told someone and it’ll probably end up being false. Oh well, it’s an excuse to pose pictures of her, right?
6 November 2007
Well not really, but that sure was a great headline, right? The truth is, Jessica Biel will be playing an accidental nymphomaniac in her new movie Nailed, which will co-star that creepy dude from Brokeback Mountain, Jake Gyllenhaal. Via THR, in the film, “Biel would play Sammy Joyce, a socially awkward small-town receptionist who has a nail accidentally shot into her head by a clumsy workman, eliciting wild sexual urges. The uninsured Joyce goes on a crusade to Washington to fight for the rights of the bizarrely injured. She meets an immoral congressman (Gyllenhaal) who takes advantage of her sex drive and capitalizes on her crusade as Joyce heads into her own career in politics.” But see, it’s more of a comedy than an actual drama, so chances of seeing Jessica Biel undress and in wild sex scenes are nil to none. Maybe not completely? One can only hope.
2 November 2007
Do you hear that? That’s the sounds of geeks everywhere jumping with joy at the news that The X-Files 2 has been greenlit by the studio for production, with the sequel set for a 2008 release. That means Gillian Anderson will be flying back from England, where she’s been plying her trade these last few years, to star once again in an American Hollywood movie alongside her TV co-star David Duchovney. Plus, Chris Carter, the guy who created the show in the first place, is also back to write and direct the movie sequel. I’m telling you, the stars are aligning for the geeks of the world. Now remember, you geeks, when the movie is released you better go out and see it! Just tell your mom you’re going out for a Subway sandwich or something.
18 October 2007
Holy Mother of God. How unfunny is this trailer for the new sports-themed parody comedy “The Comebacks”? I swear to God, shouldn’t trailers for comedies be filled to the brim with all of the movie’s best jokes? So putting that theory into practice, does this then mean that the makers of “The Comebacks” have squeezed the funniest jokes their movie could muster into their trailer? And if that’s the case, does the fact that there is absolutely nothing funny about the trailer make “The Comebacks” then, well, a comedy without any comedy? Jesus H. Christ. How could you go so wrong parodying sports movie cliches? South Park has done a million times better than this in a 20-minute episode!
16 October 2007
Brazilian model, actress, and former Brazil MTV VJ Fernanda Lima has mentioned on her blog that she recently auditioned for a role in the upcoming Bond 22 movie, most likely playing a really hot Brazilian girl who James Bond meets and a minute later is doing the horizontal mambo with. Or in this case, the vertical salsa. You know, because that’s how James Bond likes to roll. No idea if she got the role or not, but hey, the Bond producers could do worst than hire her. The girl is certainly hot enough, and if the Bond movies are known for one thing, it’s their amazing display of eye candy. Check out a video of Fernanda Lima. This girl looks smoking in her pictures, but she actually looks even better moving around in video form!
11 October 2007
Sam Jackson kicks the ass of that punk who played young Darth Vader in “Jumper”: A genetic anomaly allows a young man to teleport himself anywhere. He discovers this gift has existed for centuries and finds himself in a war that has been raging for thousands of years between “Jumpers” and those who have sworn to kill them. From the director of The Bourne Identity and Mr. and Mrs. Smith — Jumper hits theaters February 15, 2008. Check out the trailer below. It co-stars hotties Rachel Bilson (in the trailer) and Diane Lane (not in the trailer for some reason). Should be fun stuff.
11 October 2007
In her new movie “Greta”, Hilary Duff plays a waitress who falls in love with the cook at her restaurant. The problem? He’s black, and she’s white, and that causes problems with her grandparents. I’m guess she lives with them or something, since why would you care what your grandparents think. Now I don’t know how the above description of “Greta” has to do with these pictures of Hilary Duff at the beach, soaking wet and looking, as the kids would say, slammin’ hot, but that’s where I’m told they’re from so I’m going to go with it. If I’m wrong, well, who cares, you got to see a soaking wet Hilary Duff. You complaining, chum?
28 September 2007
Oh come on, you’ve been dying to see Miss Natalie Portman naked or nude or semi-nude ever since she slipped on those horrendous outfits for George Lucas and his silly “Star Wars” prequels. And now you’re going to get your chance — well, sort of. Yes, Natalie Portman IS very much nude in Wes Anderson’s “Hotel Chevalier”, but it’s done very tastefully, so no, they’re not going to be doing it doggy style for your enjoyment. Oh well. The film in question is a short film called “Hotel Chevalier”, which is part of Anderson’s feature film “The Darjeeling Limited”, or as IMDB.com describes it: “A short epilogue of one heartbreaking history of love and the prologue of the travel told in The Darjeeling Limited.” Basically, the short film where Natalie Portman gets naked. The whole thing can be downloaded, free of charge, on iTunes by clicking here.
27 September 2007
Haven’t seen a whole lot of former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari ever since she left the show to give the movies a try. It looks like she’s still doing the movie thing, but I can’t say as if I’ve actually seen any of her movies, so I can’t really say if she’s taking on more than she can chew. I guess we’ll just have to see when one of her movies come on and we see if the little blonde lady can act as good as she looks. In the meantime, here’s Kristin Cavallari on the set of her new movie “Green Flash”, a volleyball movie starring former Baywatch cast-off David Charvet. In the film, Kristin plays Lana, who, we’re guessing, is a hot girl who does stuff like look hot and junk.
13 September 2007
I gotta tell you, I don’t think anyone really expected the original “Saw” to really do a lot of business. But then it came out and BLEW UP. Now you can’t go anywhere without seeing a horror movie poster that’s trying to copy the look of the “Saw” posters, or the franchise’s “torture porn” concept — basically, put a bunch of people in a room and torture the crap out of them until they beg for death. People say the genre is dying out, with the failures of “Captivity” and “Hostel II” at the box office, but maybe it’s not that the genre is fading, but rather its COPYCATS that are fading. The “Saw” franchise seems to be going stronger than ever, and “Saw 4″, when released in theaters on Halloween, should either confirm or refute my theory. Here are some wallpapers from the movie.
31 August 2007
In “Balls of Fury”, Christopher Walken plays a crimelord who likes to organize illegal ping pong tournaments. George Lopez plays a FBI agent who kicks Masi Oka’s ass in a bathroom. And Maggie Q. is a really, really hot chick who teaches the fat hero how to play ping pong. Basically, it’s everything you want in a movie, but was too afraid to ask. And yes, I’m sure the critics will savage the film up and down and all around, but so what, who needs them? This isn’t a movie made for the critics, and I’ll be shock if it’s even shown to them. Let them pay to go see it in order to write a negative review on it! Sour pusses. This movie is going to have me laughing my ass off by the simple fact that it is just looks too stupid good to not be funny. Check out the trailer for “Balls of Fury” below.
20 August 2007
Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly the gentlemen in the audience), it is true: Jessica Biel has said that she will have some nude scenes in her upcoming new movie called “Powder Blue”. Or at least that’s what my daily viewing of G4’s “Attack of the Show” tells me, and it’s never led me astray before. Well, except for that time when they promised me Olivia Munn would show up at my basement for a nightcap and she never did. I’m still mad about that. But I digress. In “Powder Blue”, Jessica will play a stripper who has to strip to earn money to take care of terminally ill son. Unlike a lot of previous Hollywood “strippers” (*cough*Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba*cough*), Jessica’s stripper will ACTUALLY strip onscreen. Wow, and here I thought Hollywood was single-handedly trying to kill the stripping industry with their strippers who don’t actually strip.
2 August 2007
Has Australian actress Abbie Cornish landed the Bond Girl role in the upcoming Bond movie? Bond 44 or was it 55? Well, you know, the next one that’s coming up. Anyhoo. Maybe she has, and maybe she hasn’t. The fact is, everyone and their momma (and their daughter) has been named as the “new Bond girl”. Hell, even the Olsen twins have been bandied about as landing the role at one point. See what I mean? The latest name is Abbie Cornish, whose best bud Rose Byrne seems to have let the cat out of the bag when she told MTV, “I think Abbie Cornish’s got it.” Abbie is cute and all, but a Bond Girl? I can’t quite see it…
9 July 2007
So the ladies of “Sex and the City” have finally decided that a nice big paycheck is worth putting up with one another (apparently they hate each other — or to be more precise, they all hate Kim Cattrall and vice versa) and make a movie. Isn’t that sweet? Personally, I could do without having to see Sarah Jessica Parker’s horse face on a giant movie screen, or Kim Cattrall’s prune, wrinkled skin in close-up. Then again, a major movie would provide Kristin Davis fans the chance to see Kristin naked. Or close to naked. (What’s the point of a “Sex and the City” movie if no one gets naked? None!) And let’s face it, kids, the only reason to even consider renting a “Sex and the City” movie when it hits DVD is the promise of Kristin Davis skin. It sure as hell ain’t for Kim Cattrall or Sarah Jessica Parker or the redhead whose name no one knows.
26 June 2007
I don’t know if you know this, but Steven Seagal, besides being the first foreigner to open a dojo in Japan, also really loves the number three. Steven Seagal has acted in 31 movies in his 20-year career, and 15 of them have three words in their title. He also likes to kill stuff, with seven of his movies having a combination of the word “kill” or “dead” in the title. He has starred in two franchises, as an ex-Navy Seals in the “Under Siege” movies, and as an ex-CIA agent in “The Foreigner”, a role which he reprises in “Black Dawn”. He has also starred in seven movies where he is teamed up with a black sidekick, first in 1990’s “Marked for Death”, and most recently in 2007’s “Urban Justice”.
19 June 2007
Apparently Tana van Graan is the sexiest woman in South Africa according to FHM Magazine and no one bothered to tell me about it. Damn it, guys, I gotta be kept informed about these things! Heads will roll! But I digress. So who is Tanya van Graan? She’s an actress and model, mostly known for work in South Africa, but she’ll definitely be broadening horizons, especially now that she’s landed a starring role in the upcoming third installment of the “Starship Troopers” movie. Yes, there is a third one, and Casper van Dien is back in it. What, didn’t you demand a sequel to 2004’s “Hero of the Federation”? I know I did. (I think…)
19 May 2007
Michael Bay knows world-threatening explosions, that’s for damn sure. Here’s the latest trailer of “Transformers”, showing a bad ass Optimus Prime transforming and battling and all manner of robot mayhem. Starscream does his thing, and you even see Megatron at one point. I could still do without the puny humans running around screaming and junk, but holy frakkin’ crap, this is got to be the coolest damn thing I’ve ever seen. The trailer is two and a half minutes long and it is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Yes, even better than when I caught Jenna Jameson in the pool last night.
12 May 2007
Hold your horses, boys. Arnold Schwarzenegger WILL be in the next three planned “Terminator” sequels. (read here for details) Well, sort of. Moviehole has news that “representatives for Halcyon, the studio that recently acquired the rights to the Terminator franchise, tell EW the Austrian Oak has granted the company permission to use his likeness in the film.” So Arnold will be in the next three “Terminator” sequels, but not really. My guess is that they’ll use his likeness via CGI to delve into John Connor’s history. I don’t think Ahnuld should return anyway; he’s getting too old now, it’ll just make the film seem silly. But hey, I’m still psyche they’re making three more “Terminator” movies.
12 May 2007
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” is coming to a theater near you very, very soon (May 25, 2007 to be exact), but before that, you can meet (or at least see the pictures of) the film’s Pirate Lords. Two of them you’ve already met — Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and his kinda-maybe-not partner Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). The third is Chow Yun Fat, playing Singapore Pirate Lord Sao Feng, Lord of the South China Sea. There are six more, and here they are via Yahoo! Movies.
16 November 2007