Myspace Sensation Colbie Caillat
You know, I must not go to Myspace all that often, because when American singer Colbie Caillat was blowing up on all over the site, I didn’t even know about it until now. And now, as they say, it’s kind of too late to get in on the action, as Colbie Caillat has gone on to release a full studio album and is no longer the “greatest unsign singer in the whole wide world” who first started life on Myspace with her hit song “Bubbly” (music video below). And to be sure, the little lady’s got a great voice, and considering how she “hit it big”, you get the feeling she’s going to last for a while. Or if not, well, there’s always Facebook, right?
When did Vanessa Hudgens Become a Black Woman?
So, um, when did 20-year old Vanessa Hudgens, the girl from the Disney Channel who nearly FUBAR her career when she got frisky and sent nekkid pictures of herself to her boyfriend, turn from a cute, almost-show-up-half-naked-in-Maxim into a 50-year old black woman? I have no idea, but I swear, if I didn’t see that little tight body of Vanessa Hudgens running around (with that “Oh come on, you know I’m nasty” look on her face) in this video for “Sneaker Night”, I would swear that it was a 50-year old black woman doing the singing. And in case you didn’t hear, what this means is basically they’re going to dance. Dance. And dance. Um. Music video below. Crappy song, to be sure, but there’s nothing wrong with that body and “do me” expression.
Lindsay Lohan is Seductive and Irresistibly Rhythmic
Or at least, that’s what the official press release for her new album says, and as everyone knows, I’m not one to buck press releases, they being very official and, you know, pressy and what have you. It goes on: ““Bossy,” the seductive and irresistibly rhythmic new track leaked from the yet-untitled upcoming album, recalling in form and attitude the street-flavored girl-group dance floor classics of the electro era, has drawn hundreds of thousands of youtube.com streams in barely a week, and a collective thumbs-up from young viewers.” Well, if the “collective” young viewers give it a thumbs up, who am I to disagree? Promos for her new album below and download the first single (or “track”, as the kids call it) by clicking here.
The New Kids on the Block are Back
In case you haven’t heard, The New Kids on the Block (or NKOTB as they were later re-named in a stab at adulthood cash “back in the day”) are back together and are going on a reunion tour. Now this in itself isn’t all that surprising (everyone’s doing reunion tours nowadays), but it is surprising that Donnie Wahlberg decided to return. The guy’s got a thriving acting career going on, and he decides to come back to dance onstage? Hmm, I wonder if Donnie is still going to do his tough guy act. Remember he was the tough guy in the bunch? Anyways, and I’m ashame to admit this, but I did use to listen to these guys. But in my defense, I was a wee bit lad, and I just wanted to be Donnie, is all, but didn’t we all? The kids’ first single off their new album is “Summertime”.
Music Video for Scarlett Johansson’s Falling Down
Wow. Um. Wow. Okay, so I wasn’t totally against Scarlett Johansson releasing a musical album. After all, she’s wicked talented as an actress, so maybe, just maybe, she could be decent too as a musical artist. But, um, I don’t know, here’s Scarlett’s music video for “Falling Down”, her first single off her debut album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”. It’s, uh, well, I don’t know. I thought her voice would be sweeter than that. Whoever this girl is that’s singing, it sounds like she’s smoked since she was 9, and is still doing 10 packs a day. But don’t take my word for it, judge for yourself. Does Scarlett Johansson suck as a singer, or not?
Portishead Third Album: Machine Gun Video
How long has it been since Portishead rocked the trip-hop world with their second album, “Portishead”? Nearly a decade, for God’s sake. So what’s been keeping Geoff Barrow, Beth Gibbons and Adrian Utley from releasing a third album? Not all that long ago, they actually got together for an impromptu reunion that lasted exactly one night and one song in a pub somewhere, but now they’re back with a brand spanking new album called, appropriately enough, “Third”. The first single off “Third” is “Machine Gun”, and the grungy, barely-qualifies-as-a-music-video music video is below. Enjoy, Portishead fans. I know I am. The CD goes up for sale April 29, 2008 in the States.
I Was RickRolled. Three Times in One Week.
If you don’t know what Rickrolling is, then you’ve also probably never heard of this new fangled thing the kids are always on called the Internets. “Rickrolling” is when someone intentionally provides the wrong link to someone, but instead of what the someone is looking for, the link takes them to a music video by ’80s artist Rick Astley for his song “Never Gonna Give You Up” on YouTube. In this week alone, I’ve been “rickrolled” three times, each time while searching for my daily sustenance. You know, links about kids in Africa, and how I can better help them. (Because, you know, I care. And junk.) In any case, the “phenomenon” has gotten so bad that YouTube has now disabled all embedding ability for the Rick Astley videos hosted on their site, but you can still see it from DailyMotion, who no one has, apparently linked to via “rickrolling”.
Vanilla Ice Arrested for Domestic Abuse
Ice ice busted? Okay, not exactly the most original line, but hey, Vanilla Ice (real name Robert Van Winkle, if you can believe it; wait, doesn’t “Robert Van Winkle” actually sound like a better rapper name than “Vanilla Ice”? But I digress…) was just busted by Florida cops for spousal abuse on April 10. Check out his mugshot below. More: “According to the arrest report, the 39-year-old rapper’s wife called the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office saying he had kicked and hit her. She later told deputies he had only pushed her.” Go to jail Ice, go to jail Ice, go to jail Ice, go?
Italian Spice with Anna Tatangelo
Oh yes, it’s that time of the week again, when we indulge in a little spicy Italian. The spice in question belongs to Anna Tatangelo, an Italian pop singer (check our her music video below), famous for songs like “Quando Due Si Lasciano” and “Ragazza di Periferia”. The only knock on the gorgeous 20-year old? She’s involved with another singer name Gigi D’Alessio, who is 20 years older than her. The only thing worst than not being able to invite an uber hot girl like Anna Tatangelo to your basement for some cool-aid and what have you is watching some old dude get in those pants. First Katherine McPhee, and now Anna Tatangelo. Sigh. Pop singing blows.
Willie Nelson’s Daughter Paula is a Real Kick
Willie Nelson’s daughter, Paula, who is 29, don’t play that, yo. During a concert in Austin, a drunk got on stage and began lurching about, and that’s when Paula delivered a straight-kick to the dude’s gut, sending him flying off the stage and into the crowd. Luckily, someone was there with a cameraphone to capture the whole thing. Yes, it was probably a staged stunt to promote Paula’s upcoming album (everybody’s doing the viral thing now), but it’s still pretty cool to think that Willie Nelson has a daughter who doesn’t mind faux-kicking some dude in the gut off-stage to promote an album. Better than a wardrobe malfunction at the Superbowl, right?
“Ooh Girl!” An Honest R&B Song
Let’s face it, all those R&B songs (basically, everything by R. Kelly, except the ones where he has sex with the under age girl and pees on her), are bullshit. What do these songs usually say? Something about rubbing her down and making love her to her all night. As every guy knows, no one has sex all night; it’s next to impossible. And guys aren’t generally very good when it comes to sex. (Or at least that’s what I tell my girlfriends. I think they believe me; when they giggle, it means they believe you, right?) Now here’s an R&B music video that tells it like it really is. Now look, girl, the reason why I don’t want to take my shirt off during sex is because I just had a big lunch. (Boston Market!)
Promos for Scarlett Johansson’s Album Debut
Scarlett Johansson sings in her debut album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”. What? Really? Scarlett Johansson knows how to sing? And can do it without embarrassing herself ala Paris Hilton? Apparently so, or at least, she’s going to give it the ol college try. Johansson’s desire to put out her own musical album of Tom Waits cover (”Anywhere I Lay My Head” is the title of a Waits song from his 1985 album “Rain Dogs”) back in 2006, so I guess this is just the culmination of that. But seriously, Scarlett Johansson sings? This I gotta hear. Some promos from her album below.
Britney Spears’ Animated Break the Ice Music Video
What, another Britney Spears posting? Yeah, I know, right? I haven’t made this many Britney Spears post in a given week since that time she put out her cigarette on her kid’s bald head, ran into some paparazzi with her car, and decided to go for a haircut. Oh wait, maybe that was a bad dream I had. Or was it? Anyhoo. Here’s Britney Spears’ latest attempt to gain some musical credibility — the new animated music video for her song “Break the Ice”. I like the anime style of the video; it’s great when you can just animate away your white trashiness, ain’t it?
Carly Smithson Funks up Come Together
Seriously, wow, the best performance of the night last night without a doubt. Who knew an Irish lass could generate that much funk? Carly Smithson’s rendition of “Come Together” by the Beatles was just so awesome. If she doesn’t sail through to next week, there is something seriously wrong with America and the American Idol voting base. She was so damn good I just stopped listening to everyone else for the night. No wonder Simon has been getting on her about singing the “right” song, and she’s been disappointing him throughout the competition. But last night? So good I wanted to punch myself.
Prison is Fun
Remember that video where basically the entire populace of a Filipino prison did a rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video? Well whoever ran that prison is at it again, this time he/she/it has got the prisoners doing “Jump” by the Pointer Sisters. Obviously when you think “prison rehabilitation” you don’t think “Pointer Sisters”, but if it works, hey, who am I to complain? See, kids, go and rob that liquor store, because prison is fun! Remember all that stuff about “shanking” that you heard about? Pure myth propagated by TV. Prison is actually fun, and you might even learn to dance while inside.
Sarah Connor Chronicles FBI Assault Set to Johnny Cash
If you haven’t been keeping up with FOX’s The Sarah Connor Chronicles, then shame on you, because it’s a bloody good show, and you should watch it. Well, you can’t watch it now, because the first season is over, the finale was earlier this Monday, and you’ll just have to wait until Season 2, or catch re-runs of the first season. Your own damn fault, really. Speaking of the finale, here’s the last few minutes from the episode, which features an FBI raid on a Terminator hangout (well, a motel room, anyway, I guess he’s on a budget), when the Terminator starts tossing the feds around like rag dolls. The best part is that the whole thing is set to Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around”. It’s a bloody brilliant sequence. Check it out.
Video: Heidi Montag’s Higher Music Video
Wow. I don’t know if this is the real thing or what, or if this some kind of amateur home video music video shoot (or an attempt at one), but wow. The song blows, of course, and the production value is on the scale of my home movies (and that’s insulting my home movies), but I’ll be damn if this thing isn’t nearly perfect. All you have to do is put the volume on mute and just watch a really hot girl with fake boobs but a nearly flawless body parading around in a teeny bitty two-piece bikini on the beach. God Bless The Hills.
Akon Throws a Kid Off Stage
You would think that the first thing Akon’s management said to him when he ewas “coming up” (as the kids say) in the music biz is never, ever bring a kid upstage and first, never ever molest him/her, and second, don’t pick him up and throw him off stage like you’re going through some uber roid rage. Which is exactly what Akon did at a recent concert. Apparently the kid threw something on stage, so Akon had his security people bring the kid up, at which point Akon lifted the kid up over his head like the Hulk or something and tossed the kid back into the crowd, where he landed on another girl! Well, the kid who got thrown off the stage wasn’t hurt, but the girl was (she’s now in the hospital!) and now Akon is being charged! Oh well, at least it looked cool when he was doing it, right? And getting charged for anything will just mean “street cred” for our kid-tosser Akon.
Kylie Minogue in X Album Promos
Aussie hotness Kylie Minogue is coming out with a new album called “X”, her tenth studio album (and first in four years) that will be released to the masses on November 26, 2007. Producers on the record include Bloodshy & Avant, Guy Chambers, Cathy Dennis, Richard Stannard, and Calvin Harris. The first single released off the album will be “2 Hearts”. She’s also doing the TV biz, with The Kylie Show, which was broadcast on the UK channel ITV1, and features Kylie in skits and what have you. And as if that wasn’t enough, the girl will be hosting the French reality TV show, Star Academy, next November along with French-Canadian diva Celine Dion. Damn, that’s one busy gal!
The Reunited Spice Girls Headlines Promos
In case you’ve been living under a rock, or just a really, really big sand pebble, then you already know that the Spice Girls have reunited for another trip around the concert rack. That’s right, Geri Halliwell, Melanie Chisholm, Emma Bunton, Melanie Brown and Victoria Beckham are back, and they look hotter than ever. Their first single as a group again will be the song “Headlines”, which one should assume has something to do with the girls being in the headlines over the years. I’m guessing Beckham has more headlines than the rest of the girls put together, but hopefully she’ll show good taste and not mention this to the girls during the music video shoot. Speaking of which, here are promos from that music video. Very nice.