White Stripes’ Meg White Sex Tape Scandal
Oh, those crazy celebrities and their wacky sex tapes. The latest celebrity to be tossed into the celebrity s-e-x scandal is none other than White Stripes drummer Meg White, who apparently has a tape showing her engaging in wild horse play circulating the Internet. According to this, the maybe-maybe not existence of said tape has cause White such distress that the two-person band has cancelled their tour dates, citing “acute anxiety” on Meg’s part. Now I don’t know if this tape is actually Meg White bumping uglies with some guy (God, I hope it’s not her brother and bandmate, BRRRR), but man, it sure looks like her, don’t it? Look at the pictures below and judge for yourself. (You’ll notice that Meg White has always been, shall we say, well strapped, and so is the girl in the tape…)
Emmy Rossum Makes Beautiful Music
Talk about women looking incredible in red dresses, here’s the always lovely Emmy Rossum on the set of her music video. Yes, you read that right. On the set of HER music video. And don’t think our girl can’t sing, either, you bums. She’s proven that she has pipes to reckon with in “The Phantom of the Opera”, after which she got a bunch of record offers. Now she’s ready to come out with her debut album. Emmy says about her music: “It’s pop music, but not Britney Spears bubblegum pop. I want it to have a David Gray or Annie Lennox feel. I’ve been spending up to 12 hours a day in the studio.” Ooooh, hard worker. Hot, hot hard worker.
Nicole Scherzinger Finally Goes Solo
You knew it would happen sooner or later — and now it appears to be sooner. Nicole Scherzinger is going solo. Basically, the only reason why anyone still cares about the Pussycat Dolls (they actually have a TV show auditioning new members, by the way), Nicole Scherzinger going solo is like Justin Timberlake dumping ‘N’Sync for a solo career. That group is effectively D.O.A. Trust me, they can throw as many half-naked girls they want into the group, but without the uber hotness of Nicole Scherzinger fronting them, the Pussycat Dolls are kaput. So in honor of Nicole’s going solo (look out for her album, “Her Name Is Nicole” very soon), here are some fresh promo images of her going out into the world alone.
Country Goodness with Danielle Peck
Is Danielle Peck the next country music superstar? If looks were the indicator of such things, I’d say Yes. But since it’s not, and I haven’t heard her sing before, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. But country music sure can use a major injection of sex appeal. The last time someone turned heads while singing country songs was Faith Hill, and it’s been a looooooong time since her introduction to the world. Sure, there’s Carrie Underwood, but isn’t she more “cute pretty” than hot? I’m not saying Danielle Peck has what it takes to pick up Faith Hill’s reign of hotness, but I’m willing to give her a chance. Damn, I haven’t been this interested in country music in a while. Now where did I put those old Tanya Tucker CDs…
Video: A Lip-Syncing Beyonce Falls in Concert
So in case you didn’t hear, Beyonce Knowles recently did a concert in Orlando, and took a major nosedive down a couple of flight of stairs during a song. She was a real trooper, though, and popped right back up in character. But what most people sort of missed was the fact that Beyonce was apparently still singing while she was nose-diving face-first! I.e. she was lip-syncing when the fall happened! Either that, or Beyonce has an amazing ability to sing AND fall at the same time! Which might be possible if you planned it, but not when it’s a freak accident. Which explains why Sony is desperately going around having the videos pulled from YouTube. Can’t have people know that their star lip-syncs in concert now, can they?
Video: Linkin Park Performing at Live Earth
I’ve never seen Linkin Park perform live LIVE (as in, I was there, in person), but from everything I’ve seen of them (including recordings of their live shows), they give a pretty incredible performance, even better than the studio versions. Here’s Linkin Park taking part in Al Gore’s worldwide Live Earth thingamagig. You gotta sit through about 2 and a half minutes of some preacy crap about global warming and emissions, but I recommend just fast-forwarding through all that junk to the live performance. It’s good stuff.
Paris Hilton on the Cover of the Smashing Pumpkin’s Tarantula Single
Via InTouch Online, news is that the Smashing Pumpkins, formerly the coolest band on the planet, has just gotten 50% less cool by having Paris Hilton on the CD cover of their new single, “Tarantula”. This single was released in the UK, and shows Paris Hilton (thumbnail to your left, a bigger version below) holding a black berry and dressed in the costume of a 19th-century saloon hussy. Stereotyping, guys? Oh, Smashing Pumpkins, is this what it’s come to? How sad. “Tarantula” is the first song by The Smashing Pumpkins of their latest album “Zeitgeist”, their first album as a group since their break-up in 2000.
Kelly Clarkson Cancels her Summer Tour, Fans of Big Booty Pop Stars Depressed
Kelly Clarkson fans aren’t going to be happy upon hearing news that their American Idol has canceled her planned summer tour dates because of poor ticket sales. Well, Clarkson doesn’t say it’s because of poor ticket sales on her website, but come on, we know the real reasons. I guess that re-appearance on “American Idol’s” recent season finale didn’t help. Oh well. This news is also a bummer for fans of big assed pop stars. Let’s face it: Kelly Clarkson has a voice, and that voice comes from that big ol booty of hers. Mind you, not that I’m complaining, because junk in the trunk ain’t nothing to be ashame of.
Video: Portishead Finally Returns! Sort of.
Fans of the British trip-hop band “Portishead” Have been waiting for them to release a third album for, oh, 10 years or so, ever since 1997’s incredible self-titled album, which is actually their SECOND album, the first being 1994’s “Dummy”. I have all three of their official records, including the live concert at Roseland Hall in New York City in 1998. Being a big fan of theirs, it’s killed me to think that they might have broken up, and are now doing, well, things other than making Portishead music. Their last public appearance was in 2005 at the Tsunami Benefit Concert in Bristol, and now THIS — an impromptu, surprise gathering of the band’s three primary members at Bristol’s Mr Wolfs!
Avril Lavigne Topless in Blender
Avril Lavigne getting topless (well, sort of) for Blender magazine isn’t really Music News per se, but since I rarely post any music news, and I have that category sitting around not doing any work (pay for your keep, you bastard!), I thought I’d add this posting of Avril Lavigne (kinda) topless in Blender in it anyway. Um, what was I saying? Oh right, Avril Lavigne is topless in the latest issue of Blender Magazine. Okay, so maybe she’s not completely topless. But she doesn’t have any shirt on underneath that jacket or what have you. It’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds, alas. Well, unless you like Avril Lavigne, then it’s pretty damn sexy. And Yes, I agree with the text on the cover: “Hell Yeah she’s hot!”
Rapper The Game Gets Arrested
What do you think immediately goes through a gangster rapper’s head when cops slap handcuffs on them? Do they immediately think, “Oh snap! My next album is gonna go platinum in a minute, yo!” Or is it more like, “Oh man, ain’t this ironic?” I’m thinking it’s somewhere in the middle, sort of like, “Yo yo yo, my next album is gonna skyrocket; crap, I hope I don’t get rape in county jail.” All of this, of course, is to lead into this article about how rapper The Game got arrested on suspicion of making criminal threats a few months ago. Which is kind of stupid, if you think about it; gangster rappers like The Game probably makes “criminal threats” about killing someone’s momma or ho or both every other day. Isn’t that what white suburban kids buy their music for?
Amy Winehouse is NOT Going to be a Bond Girl
Heavily tattooed British songstress chick Amy Winehouse is shooting down rumors that she’s going to be in the next Daniel Craig James Bond movie as was rumored a few days ago. Winehouse said this to MTV: “I’m just not an actress… It can’t be true.” Hey, that’s never stopped Jessica Alba or Eva Mendes. But I digress. Although she will probably not be IN the movie (you gotta respect a woman who recognizes her own limitations), Winehouse is open to contributing to the film’s soundtrack. You can check out Winehouse and gawk at her tattoos when she appears at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards hosted by Sarah Silverman on June 3rd.
Kanye West is Still a Little Whiny Bitch
Behold, video of that whiny bitch known as Kanye West (who, if you don’t know, is so narcissistic that he actually quoted himself in one of his music videos), here playing the Ugly American stereotype up to the nines at the MTV European Awards when he didn’t win an award for Best something or rather. I swear to God someone should throw this little pussy down a drain and then blowtorch the grates shut forever. Thanks for improving America’s image across the Pond, you sniveling little maggot.
Fergie Does “London Bridge” at the VMAs
Check out Fergie, late of the terribly overrated Black Eyed Peas, whoring up the VMAs with her performance of “London Bridge” aka “Hollaback Girl” 2.0. That’s Fergie for ya — great body, atrocious face. I swear the girl gets uglier everytime I see her. No wonder she’s always wearing as few clothes as possible. You gotta understand that that’s all the girl has going for her, cause that face — brrrrr.
Jessica Simpson Loses her Voice. This is a Bad Thing?
Okay, so maybe I’ve never actually listened to any of Jessica Simpson’s songs. Okay, okay, so maybe that’s not exactly true. I think I heard her sing a couple of songs by accident when channel surfing and I happen to run across MTV — you know, that channel the kids like to watch for their musical stories and whatnot. In any case, People.com says Jessica Simpson has laryngitis and can’t talk, so she’s cutting her PR tour for her new album “A Public Affair” which, as the kids say, “drops” today. My question is, is this really a bad thing?
Paris Hilton’s CD is Not Hawt. America is Saved.
My fellow Americans, I am happy to report to you that we have, just barely, escaped one of the first signs of the Apocalypse — barely anyone is buying Paris Hilton’s debut music CD. Despite a PR blitz to rival Tom and Katie’s alien abduction of an engagement, Hilton has only managed to move 75,000 copies of her CD in the U.S. in its first week, and according to the New York Post, this qualifies it as a “certified flop”. And if you can’t trust the NYPost…
Paris Hilton Invades Tokyo, Godzilla Weeps
Paris Hilton is about to do something Godzilla never could in 100s of attempts — bring Tokyo to its knees! And really, what’s more dangerous than pop music from a spoiled hotel heiress whose idea of “hard work” is having to wear more than two articles of clothing at the same time. You can’t compare atomic breath that can turn homes to ash with that kind of dangerous power! Here’s Paris Hilton in Tokyo launching her CD debut at an unsuspecting Tokyo populace. Those poor, poor Japanese. I shall pray for them.
Dixie Chicks Bypass Most of Dixie on Tour
Oh, those rascally Dixie Chicks. After dissing Bush, got dumped by their country base, and now making a fierce return by intentionally (and opportunistically) resurrecting the controversy beyind their anti-Bush remarks in the name of album sales, the Chicks have realized that they no longer have a country base, or what little of it remains is not worth even holding a concert for. Which is why have dumped all of the Southern cities on their planned tour except for 4 (Nashville, Atlanta, Dallas and Austin), and will be adding dates in Australia and Canada to make up for the lost. Heck, since they’re no longer country or even seem to want to be associated with country music, why not just change their name to the Hip Hop Chicks? Or maybe Pop Chicks? Too bad Spice Girls was already taken…
Paris Hilton’s CD Cover
Here’s the CD cover for Paris Hilton’s upcoming music debut for those of you who cares. I don’t know the title of the album, and I don’t really want to know, so don’t ask. Anyways, was there ever any doubt that Paris would be doing the unnatural head tilting pose of hers on her CD cover? I swear the woman has jelly for a vetebrae, and not bone like the rest of us mere mortals.
Jessica Simpson’s “A Public Affair” CD Cover
I know it’s hard to believe, but once upon a time Jessica Simpson was a singer. But that was before the whole Lachey fiasco, the MTV brouhaha, the “My sister is trying to replace me, help!” scenario, and the whole “Jessica the Movie Star” complex. It would appear out lovely Miss Simpson is about to come out with a new album, called “A Public Affair”, and here is the CD cover.