The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis to Have Angry Sex in Black Swan

According to someone who has read the script for Darren Aronofsky’s supernatural thriller “Black Swan”, there is a scene in the film where Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, the film’s two female stars, have what is described as “ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex” in the movie. Now before you say, “Yeah, right, Natalie Portman doing an actual sex scene on camera? She played a stripper who didn’t strip onscreen!” Remember, “Black Swan” is being directed by Darren Aronofsky, who convinced Jennifer Connelly to do a drug-induced threesome with a dildo and another girl. Dude is a genius, and now, my hero.

Natalie Portman is Fetching in Marie Claire

Twenty-six year old Natalie Portman graduated from Harvard, and is considered one of Hollywood’s smartest actresses. Then again, we are talking about Hollywood here. Half of these people never even finished high school. Now I’m not saying Hollywood people are generally stupid, but I am saying that most of them are dumb as an ox. There are the exceptions, of course, but for the most part, do you really want to get your world politics from Sean Penn? Or decide who to vote for President based on what Ben Affleck says? This guy makes 20 crappy movies a year! His decision-making ability isn’t exactly, you know, top notch, folks. In any case, here’s smarty pants Natalie Portman in the British version of Marie Claire, looking all kinds of fetching.

Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Strippers

Hollywood does a lot of things well, but movie strippers is not one of them. More often than not, you’ll get an actress who wants all the cache of being able to say, “I played a stripper in a movie”, but without taking the clothes off. By not stripping, they are technically not playing strippers, as the word “strippers” would seem to imply the “stripping” off one of one’s clothes. Another major problem with movie strippers is the “good girl wants to go bad” syndrome, where an actress known for an innocuous career decides to “shock” us by playing a stripper to prove she’s grown up. Sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn’t. Here, then, are our Hollywood Top 5: Worst Movie Strippers.

Natalie Portman vs. Scarlett Johansson in The Boleyn Girl

It’s Natalie Portman versus Scarlett Johansson — who ya got??? Well, okay, it’s pretty obvious who you should want to “get”, or at least I think it’s pretty obvious. But I gotta admit, who ever did the photography and make-up on “The Boleyn Girl” sure did a good job making Natalie Portman look actually attractive. Now I’m not saying she’s not attractive, but normally if you put Scarlett Johansson and Portman side-by-side, Scarlett comes out the winner every time, but you wouldn’t necessarily be able to say that in this movie. In the film, Eric Bana’s character has to choose between the two sisters, played by Scarlett and Natalie. WHO YA GOT???

See Natalie Portman Nude in Hotel Chevalier

Oh come on, you’ve been dying to see Miss Natalie Portman naked or nude or semi-nude ever since she slipped on those horrendous outfits for George Lucas and his silly “Star Wars” prequels. And now you’re going to get your chance — well, sort of. Yes, Natalie Portman IS very much nude in Wes Anderson’s “Hotel Chevalier”, but it’s done very tastefully, so no, they’re not going to be doing it doggy style for your enjoyment. Oh well. The film in question is a short film called “Hotel Chevalier”, which is part of Anderson’s feature film “The Darjeeling Limited”, or as IMDB.com describes it: “A short epilogue of one heartbreaking history of love and the prologue of the travel told in The Darjeeling Limited.” Basically, the short film where Natalie Portman gets naked. The whole thing can be downloaded, free of charge, on iTunes by clicking here.

Natalie Portman Nude in “Goya’s Ghost”?

Perk up, geeks and freaks, because your muse for the last half dozen years may be getting naked for you in the upcoming “Goya’s Ghost”. That’s right, you were denied seeing Natalie Portman nude as a stripper in “Closer” (only in a Hollywood movie would a stripper never actually strip), but you may be getting a glimpse of Ms. Portman’s naughty bits in Milos Forman’s “Goya’s Ghost”, where Portman will play the muse of famous painter Goya who gets accused of being a heretic and gets herself tortured by the Catholic Church while naked. Then again, maybe not…

Natalie Portman to Direct “A Tale of Love and Darkness”?

Natalie Portman wants to direct. And not just any movie, but a movie based on the book by Israeli novelist Amos Oz called “A Tale of Love and darkness”, a biography about “Oz’s upbringing in Jerusalem amid the fighting during which the Jewish state was founded.” If the movie gets made, Portman would also be directing herself, as she wants to play Oz’s mother, who committed suicide when Oz was a wee bit. Wow, not only does she want to hop onto directing for the first time, but she wants to also star in it. Talk about ambitious! Can our little 4-foot-tall muffin of cuteness handle the pressure? And gee, I sure hope she didn’t learn any “directing” tips from George Lucas, if you know what I mean.

Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson Together Again

Cripes, kids, it’s Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson, teaming up for the first time in “The Other Boleyn Girl”, a historical Brit film (or corsets and crumpets, as I like to call them) set to hit theaters in 2007. In the film, Johansson and Portman plays sisters competing for the affections of King Henry VIII, played by Eric Bana (”The Hulk”). Here are some pics of the two young and talented actresses on the set, apparently looking bored in their pajamas waiting for the crew to set up already. The film is based on the fictional novel by Philippa Gregory and directed by Justin Chadwick.

A Blonde Natalie Portman is Feeling a Little Nippy

My theory that Natalie Portman is, in fact, a 12-year old boy disguised as a girl takes a hit today with these pictures of Natalie Portman on the streets of New York feeling, apparently, a little “nippy”. (Isn’t it like 105 degrees in New York this month?) I’m guessing that the big black guy walking with her is her bodyguard, as, well, why in the world would Natalie Portman be walking around New York ignoring a big black guy who is apparently following her. Well actually, now that I look at the picture again, the guy really isn’t that big, so maybe he’s just someone hounding her for an autograph or somethin’, because I don’t think he’s a friend from the way she’s acting like the dude doesn’t even exist. (And hey check it out, the Natser is blonde again.)

Attack of the Blonde Natalie Portman Clones

After getting caught on the street by the paparazzi in Buenos Aires, a newly blonde Natalie Portman lumbered toward the camera, delicate fingers first, as if to attack. Well at least she’s let her hair grown back and is no longer looking like a midget transexual 12-year old boy. That’s something, at least. Although I’m not sure if Natalie has learned the proper ways to attack the paparazzi. You can’t wade into them with a limp wrist, baby! You gotta go in swinging like Sean Penn! Oh, Natalie. Didn’t shooting “V for Vendetta” teach you anything? (By the way, who is that guy in the background, and why does he look so gosh darn befuddled by what’s happening?)

Natalie Portman Joins “Indiana Jones 4″

Rumor has it (or actually, Karen Allen’s big mouth has it) that Natalie Portman, fresh off fighting Movie Bush in “V for Vendetta”, will be joining a geriatric Harrison Ford to fight, one presumes, either Nazis or snakes. Indy hates snakes, if you haven’t heard. But no truth to the rumor that the dimunitive Portman (she’s teeny weeny, like, 3-feet tall or somthin’) will be playing Indy’s 12-year old son. Whatever role she plays, it’s got to be better than her character in “Closer” – you know, the stripper who doesn’t strip?

Jake Gyllenhaal Adopts Natalie Portman

Tired of fellow Hollywood dorks getting all the press attention by stealing kids from Cambodian and African orphanages and calling them their own, “Brokeback Mountain” star Jake Gyllenhaal has decided to adopt one of his own — except he’s chosen little Natalie Portman. Either that, or the two are dating. Either/or. Check out father and daughter — er, I mean, girlfrirend and boyfriend? — out and about.

Natalie Portman: Halfway to Coming Out?

Is it me, or is everytime I see new pictures of “V for Vendetta” star Natalie Portman she’s looking more and more, er, butch than usual. I’m not sure if she’s on her way to coming out of the closet ala Rosie O’Donnell or what, but the tiny actress really seems determined to shed any image of “sexy” that used to belong to her. Maybe this is her way of being seen as a “serious” actress, but I dunno, the older she gets, the less I find Natalie Portman attractive. Take a look at these two pics from her recent appearance in Criativa Magazine.

Natalie Portman on MTV’s TRL

A short-haired Natalie Portman is really pulling all the stops to promote her upcoming new comic book movie “V for Vendetta”, which is coming out this Friday. Here she is at MTV’s TRL to talk to a group of idiotic screaming 13-year old girls and whoever the host is at the moment. I think Carson is gone, right? As you can tell, I’d rather stab myself in the eye than watch TRL.

Natalie Portman in April 2006 Vanity Fair

Natalie Portman is very difficult to figure out. She seems to be an intelligent young lady, and considering her Harvard education, you’d think she is. But everytime she opens her mouth (which is rare) she sounds like just another Hollywood Liberal douche regurgitating the party line as defined by Michael Moore. Oh well, here she is in the April 2006 edition of Vanity Fair threatening to get nude, but didn’t. What a tease.

Natalie Portman Thinks Terrorism is Not Good

Brainy and Harvard grad Natalie Portman thinks terrorism is bad, but so is torturing terrorists. So says the “V for Vendetta” star while she was recently playing “professor for a day” at Columbia University. In the upcoming futuristic action film, Natalie plays a rebel battling a totalitarian government ala the Bush Administration, and all fun is had by all.

Natalie Portman in W Magazine

For a while there, people forgot that Natalie Portman could act. Of course, starring as a mechanical automaton in 3 “Star Wars” prequels didn’t help. Now Natalie’s ready to prove that she can, in fact, act by playing the ally of a terrorist in “V for Vendetta” (opening March 17th), and before that she played a stripper in “Closer”. Although it was one of those weird Hollywood strippers that keeps their clothes on. Only in Hollywood. Here’s Natalie in W Magazine looking pretty wild.

Natalie Portman in Tom Ford’s Vanity Fair

Natalie’s picture in the upcoming Hollywood edition of Vanity Fair. It’s easily the classiest pic in the whole magazine, giving editor Tom Ford’s, er, tastes.

Jessica Alba Tops AskMen.com’s Top 99 Women of 2006

AskMen.com recently did their annual Top 99 women of the year, and screen siren Jessica Alba topped the list this year. Coming in second was British hottie Sienna Miller, followed by Angelina Jolie at #3.

The rest of the Top 10 Babes of 2006 shook out like this:

Natalie Portman Pole Dancing and Showing Abs

Natalie Portman was a would-be assassin in “Leon”, a princess/queen in “Star Wars”, and a stripper who, strangely enough, doesn’t take her clothes off in “Closer”.

But before that, she did this spread, which is damn fine: