The Olsens Continue to Freak Me Out
Now I don’t know what the hell the Olsen girls (Mary-Kate and Ashley, as I hear are their actual names, but don’t hold me to it) are dressed up as for this year’s Halloween, but it just creeps me the hell out. Then again, they could just be walking up a street doing nothing, and they would still look creepy to me. I’m telling you right now, if these two former child stars don’t turn out to be alien babies sent to destroy us, I’ll eat my hat, and you know how I hate the taste of hat. It’s so…hatty. How creepy are they? So creepy that whenever I stare into their eyes, I get this overwhelming urge to punch myself in the face, and that just ain’t right. Ouch! Did it again.
The Big List of Chicks Who Make Lots of Money in 2007
US Magazine, a trade publication that I read every day while Vietnamese ladies of varying hotness and age do my nails and give me a nice rubdown, has a list appropriately called “What People Earn”. You know, because seriously, that’s, like, um, wow, that’s not a very creative list. But anyways, it gets the point across, and I suppose that’s what matters. And the point is that Miley Cyrus made $18 million last year, while fellow chick Jessica Alba made a measly $9 million. Hah! Jessica should be ashame of herself. She needs to work harder and stop getting knocked up is what she needs to do.
The Olsen Twins are Kinda Hot …
Is it wrong that I think the Olsen Twins are kinda hot? Okay, maybe it’s wrong from certain perspectives, but being that they’re both 21 at the moment, it’s not nearly as wrong as it used to be. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have certainly grown up to be lovely young women, and as I hear it, one of them may or may not be dating one-nut guy Lance Armstrong. Which would make Lance the most enviable man in the universe, because let’s face it, considering that the Olsen Twins are always seen together and are always touchy feely, you would have to figure that if you could get one of them in the sack, the other one wouldn’t be far behind, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Mary Kate Olsen in Weeds Promos
Mary Kate Olsen is trying to shed her girly image by guest starring on an episode of Showtime’s Weeds, a show about a suburban housewife played by Mary Louise Parker who sells weeds on the side. Or maybe she’s made a career out of it by now. I know that she show started with Parker selling on the side. Or maybe I was wrong from the very beginning. Eh, who cares. Anyways, tune in when Mary Kate Olsen sheds her good girl image for a little Mary Jane in the upcoming new season of Weeds. You’ll notice that sister Ashley is no where to be seen in these promos from the show. I guess Ash isn’t a fan of the J. The girl doesn’t know what she’s missing.
Hollywood Babes Love the 2006 Teen Choice Awards
Hot hollywood babes love teens. Just ask Demi Moore. So when there’s an Awards show where teens get to pick the winners (never you mind what for, just go with it), the Hollywood babes will of course attend. Out and about this weekend for such an occassion was Kirstin Cavallari, a newly single Carmen Electra, someone name Ashley Tisdale, Ashley Olsen (minus Mary-Kate — gasp!), Jessica Simpson, and reigning “OC” babe Rachel Bilson. What, no special appearance by Hilary Duff? I’m so disillusioned.
Sunday Treat: The Olsen Twins
Instead of the usual one Sunday Treat, this time there’s two — although it could be argued that the Olsen Twins should only be counted as one person, both being midget-sized and whatnot. In any case, here’s some Olsen goodness for your lazy Sunday. And no, I can’t tell who is Mary-Kate and who is Ashley, and I don’t really care. They’re twins. Twins. Get it?
Ashley Olsen in Nylon Magazine
It must kinda suck being twins. Worst when you’re the friggin Olsen Twins. Everybody knows who you are and what you look like, so how exactly do you go about distinguishing yourself from your twin? And you know actors. They’re always trying to “define” themselves. Such is the dilemma for Ashley Olsen, one half of the billionairess Olsen Twins, here in Nylon Magazine, which I’m guessing is about nylons. Or maybe it’s a magazine about a guy name Nylon.
Random Olsen Twins Ogling
Why another random picture of the Olsen Twins, you ask? Um, why not? They’re really attractive, really hot, really rich, and oh yeah, they’re twins! If you have to ask what makes twins so gosh darn attractive to us mortal males, then you are either not mortal or male. Or male but of the male-to-male persuasion (not that there’s anything wrong with that). In any case, here is the Olsen Twins, looking…twinny. Don’t even ask who is who. I have no friggin’ clue.
The Olsen Twins are Hot
Officially, you’re allowed to call the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen “hot” when they turned 17, 3 years ago, but now that they’ve turned 20, it’s even more official. And by “more official” I mean you can now openly talk about lusting after them. And pictures like this one only helps. Mmmmm, lusting after the Olsen twins…
The Olsen Twins Unleashed
Ever since Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen broke through the jailbait border, I feel much less like a pervert posting pictures of them. Having said that, here are the blondies at the Independent Spirits Award. Your guess is as good as mind who is who, not that it matters cause, er, you know, because they’re, um, identical twins, and equally creepy — er, I mean, kinda hot. In a creepy sort of way.
Olsen Twins in Badgley Mischka Ads
Former jailbait twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have been named the new face (or is that faces?) of Badgley Mischka. I won’t pretend to know what or who Badgley Mischka is, but I’m assuming it’s another overpriced fashion line/designer. Here’s one of those ads.