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Celebrity Pictures, Hot Babes, Entertainment News, and Other Topics of Random Interest. But Mostly Pictures of Hot Celebrities.Archive | Paris Hilton RSS feed for this category
Paris Hilton is Really “Distraught” About her Upcoming Jail Sentence, Attends the MTV Movie Awards
You have to feel for Paris Hilton. She was so “emotionally distraught and traumatized” about starting her June 5th jail sentence, she had to literally drag herself to the MTV Movie Awards two days before she is supposed to turn herself in. As you can see from these pictures of Paris arriving at the Awards show, she’s clearly fighting back the tears, and can barely bring herself to do her Bendable Barbie Pose, i.e. bend backward at the waist, smile awkwardly, and look semi-retarded. Oh, Paris, we feel for you! And Sarah Silverman even made a cruel joke about you, too. Sniff sniff, etc.
Paris Hilton Believes in the Lord, but Not Bras
25 May 2007
You gotta love Paris Hilton. If you can’t find some amusement in Paris Hilton’s very existence, then you just don’t enjoy life, and I don’t want to have dinner at your house. Paris Hilton makes life worth living. Such as these pictures snapped of the hotel heiress going somewhere, holding (very earnestly, I might add) to some books, one of which is the Holy Bible, while not wearing any bra. And it was a little nippy that day, apparently. I mean, come on — how can you not love this woman? All the hours of amusement she brings us without even trying! Love ya, Paris!
Paris Hilton’s 45 Days in Jail Lowered to 23 Days
17 May 2007
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Paris Hilton’s 45-days in jail sentence has been knocked down to about 23 days for good behavior. So what constitutes this “good behavior”? Apparently according to this, showing up for your court date qualifies as “good behavior”. I shit you not. So Paris Hilton showing up for her court date is such a great achievement that she gets 22 days knocked off her DUI/driving with a suspended license conviction? Man, I wanna be rich and spoiled and famous and have no talent at all, too, dammit!
Paris Hilton Wants Arnold Schwarzenegger to Pardon Her. No, Seriously.
9 May 2007
Paris Hilton is so outraged by her 45-day jail sentence (which she has to start serving next month) that she is taking her case to the highest court in all of California — Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s desk. Yes, you read that correctly. People.com reports: “In a message that went up Monday on her MySpace page and reported in the New York Post, the hotel heiress writes (in her own spelling): “My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!” Holy cow. I’ve seen and heard some really stupid things in my life, but this has to take the cake. I got 1 to 5 million odds that Schwarzenegger will pardon her for this “injustice”.
Paris Hilton Gets 45 Days in L.A. County Jail
5 May 2007
So I’m flipping through the channel when I got tired and left the TV on Fox New’s “On the Record” with Greta Van Susteren. So what do I hear? Apparently Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in L.A. County Jail, and she has until June 5th to report for her jail term. This all stems from Paris being caught driving without her license, when her license was suspended for a previous alcohol-related traffic violation. Paris’ excuse? Her PR person told her she could drive. Um, okay. That sounds reasonable. Then again, I don’t have “people” who does things for me, so what do I know. Once again: Paris has until June 5th to report for a 45-day jail sentence.
Paris Hilton Autopsy Pictures
30 April 2007
Paris Hilton nude is no big deal. But Paris Hilton nude and dead and autopsied? That’s pretty cool. Or at least, very unique. The whole thing is the creation of sculptor Daniel Edwards, who last wowed the world with Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri’s “first poop” sculptor, and before that, a naked and pregnant Britney Spears. His latest is “Paris Hilton Autopsy”, which shows the hotel heiress on her back, legs spread eagled, naked, with her little dog Tinkerbell (I think that’s its name) looming over her dead body. This is apparently supposed to help young people curb drinking and drinking. Um, okay. Check out the autopsy pictures of Paris Hilton.
Did Paris Hilton Get Breast Implants?
17 April 2007
Did Paris Hilton get breast implants to improve her movie career? (Hey, stop snickering. She does too have a movie career. Okay, stopped laughing yet? Let’s continue…) Well did she, or didn’t she? From the looks of these pictures, it certainly appears as if the hotel heiress has “pumped” up some parts of her anatomy. Then again, she could just be wearing a pretty wonderful wonderbra. And if it’s the latter, then damn, shouldn’t this fall under false advertisement? Behold, and judge for yourself: Are those breasts real, fake, or the product of a wonder bra?
L.A. Wants to Throw the Book at Paris Hilton
30 March 2007
Oh, Paris. So young, so rich, so much free time, and so blonde. Reuters reports that L.A. Prosecutors asked a judge on Thursday to revoke Paris Hilton’s probation for reckless driving, a result that could land Paris in jail for up to 90 days. Not exactly chain gang time, mind you, but probably the equivalent of 50 years to a spoiled hotel heiress whose biggest idea of “work” is not having the right shirt to go with her $5,000 shoes. But I digress. So what was it that has the L.A. Prosecutors so gung ho to throw the book at Paris?
Paris Hilton Busted for Having No Talent
2 March 2007
Okay, okay, so maybe Paris Hilton wasn’t arrested earlier this week for pretending to have talent. She was actually ticketed for driving with a suspended license. Heck, she wasn’t even arrested. Or thrown in jail. The pokey. The Big House. The place where you must never drop your soap. She was ticketed. How lame is that? I’ll tell you — so lame I have made up a word for it: superlame-o. If I was stopped for driving with a suspended license, I’m pretty damn sure I would have been thrown into the back of the police car. But hey, that’s what I get for not being born rich and spoiled and starring in a grainy sex video that shows I don’t even have any sexual talents, either. Anyhoo, the AP has got a pretty entertaining article about how they tried to ignore Paris Hilton, and what (or didn’t) happen as a result. Read it here.
Another Day, Another Paris Hilton Sex Tape — or 200
24 January 2007
Paris Hilton loves attention. But then again, you probably already know that. Saying that Paris Hilton gravitates toward the camera (moving or still) is like saying human beings need air to breathe. It just goes without saying, doesn’t it? Well apparently the guys who ran in and snagged Paris Hilton’s storage locker a ways back when she forgot to pay the $208 bill have launched a website (ParisExposed.com) to sell their ill-gotten gains. What exactly are they hawking? More sex videos, over 250 personal and private videos, Paris indulging in a little illegal substances, diary entries, and videos of Paris indulging in female lovin’. Oh my.
Britney Spears Sluts it Up with Paris Hilton
28 November 2006
Remember when Britney Spears used to be respectable? Back before the “skank contest with Christina Aguilera” era, before the “K-Fed fiasco”, and the “Chaotic” chaos? Yeah, me, neither. So now that she’s newly minted single, Britney Spears was recently seen out on the town with sociolite wunderkind Paris Hilton giving new meaning to the phrase, “single and ready to mingle”. Or am I thinking about, “single and slutting it up”? Either/or. Here are the dynamic duo somewhere doing something bathing in the radiance of undeserved attention. Ain’t pop celebrity purty?
Paris Hilton is Facetious
30 October 2006
Paris Hilton, once famous for being simply famous, has recently become famous for getting arrested, or meeting with Your Friendly Neighborhood Friend Mr. Policeman all too often. Apparently having learned the meaning of words such as “facetious” and “self-deprecating humor”, our hotel heiress recently showed up at a Halloween party dressed as a slutty cop. Well, it’s Paris Hilton we’re talking about here, so the slutty part is sort of a given, but I thought I’d mention it anyways. Paris, I crown thee whimsical!
Paris Hilton vs. Shanna Moakler — Who Ya Got!!?
4 October 2006
It’s tough being hot, talentless, and husbandless (yes, that’s a word and I’m sticking to it) in Hollywood, hence probably the reason why hotel heiress Paris Hilton and former Playboy playmate Shanna Moakler got to swingin’ earlier today at around 1:00 a.m. at the Hyde Nightclub, where all the young pretty people party, or so I’m told. TMZ got the full scoop, and it ain’t pretty. Well, it kinda is, we are talking about the pretty people here, but it’s also half retarded; but then again, Paris is involved, so that’s to be expected.
Paris Hilton Might Go to Jail for DUI. Oops.
26 September 2006
So it appears as if that whole shenanigans with the DUI earlier this month hasn’t blown over completely for Mizzus Paris Hilton, because news is that she will face DUI charges, which carries a maximum $1,000 fine and possibility of a six month stint in jail. We’re not talking about Martha Stewart jail, either — oh wait, maybe. Who knows where they put rich white females in L.A.? In any case, we feel sorry for Hilton, as we’re sure even a brief jail stint will harm her career — oh wait, what the hell am I talking about? This girl had a sex tape where she displayed some Godawful bed skills and she still blew up (har har)! This will only help her career. Just ask Robert Downey Jr. As long as you don’t badmouth the Jews, you can basically smuggle 50 pounds of cocaine into the States using your cooch and Hollywood will still love you for it.
Paris Hilton Pumps Gas
24 September 2006
There is absolutely nothing important or even mildly interesting about this, but it does strike that giddy part of me that loves this oddball stuff. It’s hotel heiress and Jill-of-All-Trades Paris Hilton pumping gas. That’s basically it. While she’s pumping some gas, Paris signs some autographs, calls some friends, and waits for that half-tardo photographer behind her to finish loading his camera so he can snap more pictures of her already. Anyways, I thought it was just really odd, but curiously…entertaining.
Paris Hilton in Handcuffs for DUI
8 September 2006
Look, kids, it’s a hotel heiress in handcuffs for suspicion of DUI! See, OJ, rich white people can get arrested, too. (And just like all rich people, she’ll get a slap on the wrist and then let loose to menace society once more!) What I want to know is, why are there a line of cops there? How many uniform police officers does it take to handcuff, then escort a drunk hotel heiress into a police station for booking? Or do you think they might have heard the stories, and wanted to try their luck… Hmm…
Paris Hilton Arrested for DUI
7 September 2006
Schadenfreude strikes again, with news that hotel heiress, bad actress, unwanted singer, and bendable plastic doll paparazzi trophy Paris Hilton was arrested early Thursday on suspicion of DUI, most likely after being denied entrance into some “hip” club or something idiotic like that. Hey, when you’re idiotic, little shite like that will get you all afluttered and junk.
Paris Hilton’s CD is Not Hawt. America is Saved.
29 August 2006
My fellow Americans, I am happy to report to you that we have, just barely, escaped one of the first signs of the Apocalypse — barely anyone is buying Paris Hilton’s debut music CD. Despite a PR blitz to rival Tom and Katie’s alien abduction of an engagement, Hilton has only managed to move 75,000 copies of her CD in the U.S. in its first week, and according to the New York Post, this qualifies it as a “certified flop”. And if you can’t trust the NYPost…
Paris Hilton Invades Tokyo, Godzilla Weeps
26 August 2006
Paris Hilton is about to do something Godzilla never could in 100s of attempts — bring Tokyo to its knees! And really, what’s more dangerous than pop music from a spoiled hotel heiress whose idea of “hard work” is having to wear more than two articles of clothing at the same time. You can’t compare atomic breath that can turn homes to ash with that kind of dangerous power! Here’s Paris Hilton in Tokyo launching her CD debut at an unsuspecting Tokyo populace. Those poor, poor Japanese. I shall pray for them.
Paris Hilton, Like, Makes Us Cry in Blender
22 August 2006
Paris Hilton, like, makes herself cry whenever she listens to her debut album, “Paris”, because, like, it’s so dang good. No, I shit you not. That’s what the PR fiend said in the latest issue of Blender Magazine, where she apparently found the time to post half naked in in-between Best Buy, malls, and slutty sorority house appearances to promote the album in question. (Okay, so she hasn’t shown up at any slutty sorority houses, but you know it’s only a matter of time.) Here’s Paris in Blender Magazine.
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4 June 2007