The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Paris Hilton is “The World’s Most Overrated Person”

According to RealityTVWorld.com, hotel heiress and untalented PR whore Paris Hilton will reportedly appear in the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records with the unenviable title of “The World’s Most Overrated Person”. No word on which record Paris’ upcoming debut album, “Paris”, will be bestowed with, but we’re guessing, “The Only Album Less Anticipated Than Kevin Federline’s” is a strong possibility.

The Paris Hilton Lookalike in Playboy

I don’t know what’s worst — that there’s someone who thinks Paris Hilton is worth looking like, or that that someone is also going around actively trying to cash in on looking like Paris, complete with weiner dog. The young woman who is making a nude appearance in the latest issue of Playboy is one Natalie Reid from Winnipeg (that’s Canada, for those of you who don’t habla geography). Besides the picture of Reid not looking all that much like Hilton, there’s also a scintillating article on her. And of course by “scintillating” I mean really, really worthless. But I digress.

Paris Hilton and Tara Reid are Shitfaced

Drunk people are pretty funny, because invariably they end up doing some really stupid things. So drunk famous people are even funnier (witness the hellapalooza over Mel Gibson’s drunken ways). Then you add the perennially drunk Tara Reid and the perennially back-bending posing Paris Hilton, and you have a recipe for some of the funniest pictures ever. Well unfortunately these pictures of a shitfaced Tara Reid and Paris Hilton aren’t really that funny, but they are pretty sloshed.

Paris Hilton Bikini Pictures

It’s Friday night, so of course our day wouldn’t be complete without a celebrity caught in a two-piece bikini getting her beach frolickin’ on. And although this time it’s a maybe/maybe not celebrity like Paris Hilton, beggars can’t be choosers. Here’s the hotel heiress at a beach with some friends in a two-piece. In a couple of the pictures you can even see her sporting those ‘tardo glasses of hers. Oh, Paris, you and your silly ginormous glasses…

Meet the Only Sentient Being Still Willing to Kiss Paris Hilton

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gentlemen. The biggest question in the known universe: “Is there a living being still willing to exchange bodily fluids with Paris Hilton in the year 2006?” The answer has arrived: “Yes!” And it’s a ferret. That lives in a dark, skanky alleway behind a trash bin. (Okay, so there’s probably a whole story behind this, and a really good reason why Paris is swapping spit with a ferret next to a trash bin, but who cares; it’s a great chance to make fun of Paris “I Got Yer Talent Right ‘Ere!” Hilton, and we’re taking it. That’s just how we like to roll.) ((By the way, am I the only one who is getting flashes of a South Park episode here…?))

More Proof Paris Hilton is Mentally Challenged

File this one under, “This girl is so desperate to start a trend that she’ll keep wearing those fugly glasses no matter how retarded they make her look.” Here’s Paris Hilton, thinking she looks original and “cute” (I think that’s the word she would use) with her giant glasses on during a photoshoot. Seriously, folks, what is the deal with those things? And what kind of inbred moron do you have to be not to know that they make you look like a total mongoloid?

Paris Hilton’s CD Cover

Here’s the CD cover for Paris Hilton’s upcoming music debut for those of you who cares. I don’t know the title of the album, and I don’t really want to know, so don’t ask. Anyways, was there ever any doubt that Paris would be doing the unnatural head tilting pose of hers on her CD cover? I swear the woman has jelly for a vetebrae, and not bone like the rest of us mere mortals.

Paris Hilton Does the Gardener

…and the poolboy. And of course by “does” I mean she acts out the role of the gardener and the pool boy for this spread in Esquire Magazine. What did you think I meant? Anyhoo, although I don’t care very much for hotel heiress Paris Hilton, I know that some of you kids love her, so here she is in Esquire. Notice how awkward she is holding those tools; the poor girl can’t even pretend to actually know how to use them. And of course by “poor” I mean “spoiled, never had to work a day in her life brat”.

Paris Hilton Launches her Perfume, “Skank”

Okay, okay, so maybe her perfume isn’t called “Skank”, but I bet it’ll be something “classy” (snicker) like that. (It’s actualy just called “Paris Hilton”, which basically means I was right. (Double snicker)) Which leads me to this observation: For someone with no obvious talent for anything (and I do mean anything, which you’ll agree if you’ve seen that notorious tape of hers), it’s amazing how many things Paris Hilton has her pies in — er, I mean, it’s amazing how many pies she has her hands in. Anyways, here’s Paris doing that bendable posing thing at the launch of her fragrance. By the way, why does her face look like a plastic mannequin’s?

Paris Hilton is Hungry Like the Wolf

Or maybe just like the leopard. Here she is coming out from somewhere in leopard stripes. I mean, from head to toe in leopard stripes, topped off by those idiotic glasses that she’s always seen in. What is the deal with those glasses? Oh well, at least she’s not doing one of her bendable poses in these pictures, that’s something. And don’t forget, kids, go out and buy Paris’ new album when it comes out. No, I’m serious. Really. Um.

Paris Hilton “Stars are Blind” Promos

Speaking of Paris Hilton and her singing career (what, weren’t we talking about this a moment ago?), here are some promotional stills of Paris Hilton hawking her favorite wares (herself, of course) and pimping her upcoming album and single, “Stars are Blind”. If you haven’t already, check out the music video for the single here. Although I was the one who posted the music video here, I didn’t actually listen to it. What, you think I’m nuts? Anyways, Paris doesn’t look too bad in these photos. Even kinda hot, actually, which terrifies me more than it terrifies you, kids.

Paris Hilton’s Music Video for “Stars are Blind”

Paris Hilton has a music video, which is part of the launch of her music career. No, I’m not shitting you. Paris Friggin Hilton has a music video that is coming out in support of her music career. Which means she has an album coming out. If I’m lyin’ I’m dying. Here’s the first single off her record, called “Stars are Blind.” Once again, I’m not making this up. Paris Hilton actually thinks she can sing and this is her first salvo.

Paris Hilton’s Upcoming Album to Feature…Music?

Reading a quote by Paris Hilton is like eating a box of chocolates — you never know what you’re going to get, but you know it’ll be funny and kinda stupid. Such as Paris talking about her upcoming album (yes, that’s right, Paris Hilton, hotel heiress, has been working on an album for a while now) with the Hong Kong Magazine Prestige. Read on…

Paris Hilton Kicks the Cannes

Bendable hotel heiress of questionable acting ability Paris Hilton does the Cannes thing by invading the red carpet of the Cannes premiere of “X-Men 3″ aka “X-Men: The Last Stand, Unless It Makes a Lot of Money, then It’s Not the Last Stand, if You Know What We Mean”. Anyways, um, I don’t think Paris is in the movie, but that’s never stopped her from doing anything before.

Paris Hilton in Elle Magazine May 2006

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton in the May 2006 issue of Elle UK. I guess even the blokes across the pond are fascinated with Ms. Hilton, and I bet there are just as many people over there wondering why she’s famous. All I can say is — suckas!

Paris Hilton is Ready to Take Charlize Theron’s Roles

I’m, like, totally serious. Duh. Read on…

The hotel heiress and amateur actor Paris Hilton had this to say about the possibility of stealing roles from Oscar winner Charlize Theron:

My acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to her so we may end up vying for the same parts.

Paris Hilton is … Mother Theresa???

It’s been widely reported that an Indian director is considering casting hotel heiress Paris Hilton for the role of — ready for this? — Mother Teresa. No, I am not kidding. Read on…

An Indian film director wants to cast Paris Hilton as the star of a new film about Mother Teresa.

Paris Hilton in UK Maxim 2005

Paris Hilton plays with some rubber toys (get your mind out of the gutter!) for this 2005 Maxim UK spread. Heh, I used the word Paris Hilton and spread. Heh heh. I’m so funny.

Best line from the Maxim article? This from Paris Hilton herself, on playing a “dumb blonde” on TV and how she regards herself:

Paris Hilton Wants a Jacuzzi, Dammit!

Oh, Paris, why do you always end up in the news — and never for anything good? Apparently everyone’s favorite heiress threatened to pull out of the Brit Awards when the producers wouldn’t meet her demands. Which was what, you ask? Why, she just wanted what everyone wants — a jacuzzi in her dressing room!

Paris Hilton in Stuff Magazine 2005

Do you ever wonder why Paris Hilton does that thing with her neck? Sort of tilt it to one side? Yeah, I’m always curious, too. Does she have thin, skinny neck bones that can’t support her head or what? Anyways, here’s Ms. Paris Hilton doing her thing in Stuff Magazine.