Sally Fields’ Potty Mouth Gets Her Censored by Fox
Knee-jerk Liberals around the world are all afluttered and falling over themselves to call FOX’s censoring of Sally Fields’ acceptance speech at Sunday’s Emmy Awards as part of a Vast Global Right Wing Conspiracy by the Evil Fox Network. Fear not, kids, the studio didn’t censor Fields because she mouthed off about the Iraq War (in fact, you can hear ALL her war comments in the “live” telecast), but in fact they censored her when she used the word “Goddamn”, which is a big no-no on American TV for some unGodly reason. (It’s stupid, I know, but it explains the censoring.) Here is what Fox censored and a version of the broadcast not censored. Judge for yourself.
Jenna Bush Engaged to Henry Hager
Remember all those stories from a few years ago about how President Bush’s daughters, Jenna and Barbara were partying it up something awful? Well that was apparently then and this is now, because 25-year old Jenna has gotten engaged to 29-year old Henry Hager of Virginia. From the AP: “The two have been dating for several years, and Hager is often seen at Jenna Bush’s side at Bush family functions and formal events, such as a White House dinner in November 2005 in honor of Britain’s Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.” Your turn, Barbara!
The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill
From what I can figure, The Hill is an online political site, and they have an annual list of “50 Most Beautiful People on Capital Hill” where they list, obviously, the 50 most people working in Washington at the moment. Or at least, that’s the premise. But when they put Nancy Pelosi (pictured left), who constantly looks like she’s about to get run over by an Amtrak train at their #4, should we even take them seriously? But wait, don’t judge The Hill’s list by their mind-boggling inclusion of Heart Attack Pelosi on the list, they’ve got some pretty spiffy looking babes there, and some hunks for you girls out there. No surprise that most of the “beautiful” people are aids to politicians, since as we all know, all politicians are old white male fogeys with no sex appeal. With the exception of Nancy Pelosi. She’s an old white FEMALE fogey with no sex appeal.
Sienna Miller Wants You! (…to stop Global Warming)
You know, when Al Gore tells me to do my part to defeat Global Warming, I roll my eyes and fall asleep. When Leonardo DiCaprio does likewise, I want to punch him in his perfect life living face. But when Sienna Miller tells me I need to turn down the air conditioner a bit or turn off my cellphone once a day, I want to do it. For just a second, mind you, then I realize she’s a skank who likes to pose nude way too much and when you can’t even stop your man from bonking the babysitter, should you really be telling me I gotta save the Earth, toots? In any case, Miller was recently in India getting in on the Global Warming preaching, and doing a pretty bad job of it. Says the chain-smoking, high-maintenance broad, “If each one of us does our bit, we will be helping to keep global warming from harming our countries.” Yaaaaawn.
Jessica Alba Until There’s a Cure Ad
Being the Hollywood starlet with a conscience that she is, Jessica Alba cares about HIV, world hunger, AIDS, and all that good stuff. In order to solve all those nagging problems, Jessica has taken part in the Until There’s a Cure advertising campaign, by posing in their ads wearing a bracelet. Oops, that’s not right. It’s not a bracelet, it’s The Bracelet (capitalization needed because it’s real special and whatnot). Now I’m not pooh-poohing this, but come on, if celebrities really wanted to help solve Third World problems, they would give half of their movie salaries to the poor in Africa instead of selling bracelets. Give me a break. She sure looks cute pretending to care, though. Thumbnail of the Cure ad to your left, bigger version below.
TMZ vs. Al Sharpton Over Beyonce’s Roboho — WHO YA GOT???
Al Sharpton has problems with TMZ calling Beyonce Knowles’ get-up in the recent BET Awards “roboho” over two weeks ago, and he’s demanding an apology, or maybe blood. You can never tell with Sharpton. To make his point, Sharpton and his National Action Network will be going on a 20-city tour featuring 100 women in each market on August 7th to protest the use of the word “ho” as well as the “N” and “B” words. I’m pretty sure you can figure out what “N” and “B” starts and ends with. Can’t you? And yes, this is as important as Paris Hilton out of prison, but it’s fun to report anyways.
America to Al Gore: What, Me, Worry? Live Earth Tanks.
Apparently Americans have heard everything Al Gore has to say about global warming, and their response is a big fat: “Who gives a crap?” That is, if you can go by the ratings for Al Gore’s three-hour concert special from Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J., which pulled in paltry numbers for NBC during its Sunday night run, according to the Hollywood Reporter. In fact, NBC would have gotten equal or better ratings had they just ran a rerun of, well, basically anything in the time slot. Which comes as a big surprise to just about anyone, considering the concert’s line-up of heavy hitters, including Kelly Clarkson, Kaney West, Alicia Keys, Bon Jovi, Sheryl Crow, and The Smashing Pumpkins, just to name a few.
Elizabeth Kucinich is Kinda Hot…
Is it just me, or is Elizabeth Kucinich kinda hot? As in, she’s way too hot for Kucinich, who doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning the Presidency. This guy isn’t even going to be able to sniff the Democratic Nominee tag, so forget about it, guys. But thank God for Kucinich’s insane ambitions to be President, or otherwise we wouldn’t keep seeing his lovely redhead wife out and about. Check out the two of them together. Doesn’t she just look, like, 20 times hotter standing next to him? I’m not saying Dennis is ugly, but you know, he ain’t Brad Pitt, and standing next to her, she looks like Angelina Jolie. With red hair. Check out some Elizabeth Kucinich pictures.
Video: Chris Matthews Ambushes Ann Coulter with Elizabeth Edwards
Ann Coulter has a big mouth, and she’s one mean biotch when she doesn’t like you, but did you see the job Chris Matthews pulled on Ann Coulters during one of his Hardball shows? Holy mother of God! I’ve never seen such a slick ambush in my life. Seriously, when Elizabeth Edwards called in, you can practically see Matthews oozing with scum. This is one of those moments when you don’t know who to sympathize with: Coulter, for being the victim of a grand bushwhack by MSNBC and Hardball, or Elizabeth Edwards, who is a great human being, but is married to quite possibly the biggest douche bag in the South. You decide!
Video: Paris Hilton Drives MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski Batshit on Live TV
Mika Brzezinski has so much journalistic integrity that the last time I saw her morning show with Joe Scarborough, she was busy parroting the Democratic Talking Points like a robot. Yesterday, with the whole brouhaha over Paris Hilton’s release from prison, Brzezinski did the unthinkable for an anchorperson: she refused to read news copy about Paris Hilton’s release! At one point, she tears up the copy and even tries to burn it with a lighter! It’s like watching a train wreck, folks. The two guys on the show with her tries their best to save her career, but the poor girl has her head so far stuff up her ass that she can’t see straight. But hey, maybe we can’t really blame her for going off, because Paris Hilton has been known to drive people to do some crazy things. But then again, all those people had penises, and I’m assuming Mika doesn’t.
Cameron Diaz Apologizes to Peru for Mao Bag
So the lesson here is, “Don’t piss off the people of Peru.” Which would work, but I prefer this other one: “Don’t be such a ditzy blonde, Cameron Diaz.” A couple of days after ticking of Peru by carrying around a trendy Chinese Mao bag, Cameron Diaz apologized to the AP in a written statement. It read: “I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”
Cameron Diaz Angers Peru with Mao Bag
Most people will find fault with Cameron Diaz in this news story, but me, I think it’s just the product of an uneducated actress who doesn’t know her Mao Zedong from her Sun Tzu. In a recent trip to Peru, Cameron Diaz carried a trendy purse with Communist China’s Mao Zedong’s favorite slogan emblazon on the side. It read: “Serve the People” in Chinese. Of course I know Diaz doesn’t speak or read Chinese, and I’m pretty sure she can’t find China on the map anywhere, or know the difference between Mainland China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. So I’m going to forgive her for this politically incorrect oops.
Video: Hillary Spoofs the Sopranos Finale
Here’s that video of Hillary Clinton spoofing the Sopranos series finale. If this video reminds me anything, it’s that Bill Clinton is still a major gangsta. OG all the way! I love this guy. Seriously, I’m not gay or anything, but if Bill could run for a third term, I’d vote for him AGAIN. Despite all the problems, the BJ in the Oval Office, all that jazz. Seriously, how could you NOT like Bill? The dude rocks. Anyways, that Clinton spoof. I still don’t get what all the Liberals are going nuts about. It’s, eh, bleh.
Hillary Clinton Co-Opts the Sopranos Finale
Wow, Hillary Clinton has co-opted something that isn’t hers in yet another attempt to pander to the masses and get elected. I’m so shocked. I don’t think this “brilliant” woman (as her followers keeps trying to convince us she is) has ever done anything successful just by being herself. Remember that time when Hillary showed up at a black church and started talking like a black Southerner? Or when she was running for the New York Senate seat and somehow developed a Brooklyn Accent and became an instant fan of the Yankees? Now Hill Dog’s latest stunt is mimicking the “Sopranos” finale. Once again, Hillary Clinton seeks to get elected not by being Hillary, but by pandering using something popular. Lame.
Savanna Samson Endorces Rudy Giuliani
Having a porn star endorse your candidacy for President is kind of like getting shot in the head in a bar when you only went in there to use the payphone in the first place. But don’t tell Jenna Jameson or Savanna Samson that — the two porn stars have publicly backed different candidates. It’s Hillary Clinton for Jameson, and Rudy Giuliani for Samson. And since Savanna is hotter and doesn’t look like a walking skeleton every other week, I’m gonna go with her. Rudy it is!
Music Video: Obama Girl’s I Got a Crush on Obama
How do you turn a music video into a major hit in less than a day? You hire a really pretty girl to lip sync a ridiculous love song to a political candidate that, even if he wins the Democratic Presidential nomination, has no chance in hell to win the national election. (Hey, this isn’t “24″, this is real life. America ISN’T ready for a black President just yet.) In this case, the music video is called “I Got a Crush on Obama”, and the model is one Amber Lee Ettinger, who you can find more about at her Myspace site. (via)
Video: French President Nicolas Sarkozy Drunk at a Press Conference
Recently elected French President Nicolas Sarkozy is probably the first French politician that I didn’t want to immediately punch in the face, mostly because of his brave declaration in support of America, whereas most of Europe was going in the other direction. Good for you, Nicky! But, heh, apparently Nicolas can’t handle his liquor. Here he is at a recent press conference, obviously drunk at the podium. Good stuff!
CIA Leak Chick Valerie Plame is Kinda Hot
Yes, yes, I know the whole Valerie Plame situation is kinda important and not to be used for trivial matters and blah blah blah. Whatever, I’m not a politician. I’m just some guy who thinks Valerie Plame is, well, kinda hot. Which leads me to two observations: that uber dork Joe Wilson definitely married up; and much props to the CIA for hiring lookers into their clandestine branch. I wonder what kind of missions the CIA had Plame doing before that Scooter douche bag and his pals messed it up for them? When you have this kind of hot chickity at your service, what kind of international intrigue could you possibly use her for? Ooooh, the possibilities are endless.
Video: Lightning Strikes During Rudy’s Response to Abortion Question in Republican Debate
Do you believe in signs from God? Well I bet a whole lot of people do now after they saw the recent Republican Debate on CNN. A question about abortion, and Rudy Giuliani’s seemingly contradictory statements regarding it, came up and Rudy was forced to defend himself. As he grope and stuttered for an answer, lightning struck the station and took out his microphone. Now tell me THAT isn’t a sign from God! I wonder what God was saying: “Dude, stop lying right now or so help me Me I’m gonna bust you up!” Or something to that affect.
Katharine McPhee Shills for Hillary Clinton
Now I have to say, I haven’t planned on voting for Hillary Clinton, should she become the Democrat’s candidate for the Presidency. Hey, it’s nothing political, it’s just something personal — I can’t imagine voting for someone who wears pantsuits. I mean, come on, they’re pantsuits! But anyways, I might change my mind after finding out that Katharine McPhee is “pro” Hillary, and if she’s not, then someone tricked our favorite American Idol to appear at a Hillary Clinton fundraising concert. Here’s Katharine working it onstage for Hillary, or “Hill” as her friends call her.