Now I have to say, I haven’t planned on voting for Hillary Clinton, should she become the Democrat’s candidate for the Presidency. Hey, it’s nothing political, it’s just something personal — I can’t imagine voting for someone who wears pantsuits. I mean, come on, they’re pantsuits! But anyways, I might change my mind after finding out that Katharine McPhee is “pro” Hillary, and if she’s not, then someone tricked our favorite American Idol to appear at a Hillary Clinton fundraising concert. Here’s Katharine working it onstage for Hillary, or “Hill” as her friends call her.
5 June 2007
You know, I don’t understand what most of this video is saying. Oh who am I kidding. I don’t understand anything this video is saying, but from what I can gather, it’s a Mexican TV parody of Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez doing a talk show, complete with armed guards prompting the audience to laugh. There are skits within skits and a good time is had by all. Well, except if you disagree with him, that is. Then it’s hasta la vista, baby!
30 May 2007
Those darn Teletubbies and their gay’ish ways are at it again, this time eliciting the ire of the nation of Poland with their fanciful prancing about and wackiness. According to the BBC, the Polish Government have ordered psychologists to study the show to see if it promotes a homosexual lifestyle. No, I absolutely kid you not. It’s happening right now in Poland. And guess who is at the middle of the storm again? That’s right, Tinky Winky. You know, the purple one with the clothes hangar on his head? That bastard is always causing trouble.
29 May 2007
The only thing that amazes me when you put a bunch of people into one place isn’t that they do something stupid like boo a young woman just trying to win a beauty pageant, but that it doesn’t happen all the time. I know this from experience. Once, during a High School talent show, a group of guys were doing a terribly unfunny skit on stage. The rest of the crowd seemed content to let them make fools of themselves, but I, having a different plan, started booing them. After which, a couple of guys joined in, and before you knew it, the whole auditorium was booing the guys off the stage like it was Kids Night at the Apollo. True story.
25 May 2007
Two minutes. Combing his hair. Yeah, he’s getting ready to do a TV interview, but look at the way he’s fixing himself. Jesus H. Christ. This is the guy some people want to elect into the White House? This guy spends so much money on a haircut and so much time fixing his hair, if he gets elected President where is he going to get the time to actually run a country? And look at his hair. IT’S FRAKKIN PLAIN! There’s nothing to fix there, John! Your hair doesn’t even move! Look at the way he’s peering at himself in the girl’s compact mirror as he swipes at his hair. Jesus H. Christ.
20 May 2007
Leonardo DiCaprio was recently at Cannes to promote his new documentary “The 11th Hour”, the premise of which is basically, “Change your ways or die!!!!” You know, when I see Leo in his $5,000 tuxedo and $200 haircut telling me that I gotta shape up and save the world because of Global Warming, I don’t know rather to applaud him or beat the living crap out of his smarmy ass. Just forgetting for an instant that the Global Warming debate is FAR from finished, despite what Cappy and his buddy Al Gore will have you believe, I just find the idea of Leo telling me it’s my fault that Global Warming is happening and that I better change my evil ways today or else to be kind of annoying. Hey, Leo — stop flying to Cannes, France in your private jet and riding those gas guzzling limos to your movie premieres, and then we’ll talk about how Global Warming is my fault, you punk ass.
17 May 2007
In case you were still undecided about who you will be voting for in the upcoming 2008 Presidential Election, maybe Jenna Jameson can help you out. According to everyone’s favorite porn princess (who I must say is looking much healthier, and sexier than ever, these days), the election of Hillary Clinton to the White House would help out the porn industry, because, says Jameson, the porn biz had its best time when Clinton was in the Oral Office. Er, I mean, Oval Office. But call me crazy, but I don’t think Hillary is going to be trumping this endorsement. I don’t know why not. Jenna Jameson is probably more popular than Hillary will ever be. Or at the very least, Jenna has had more sex in one day than Hillary has had in the last 10 years. Those thunder thighs don’t help, Hill.
17 May 2007
Did you hear? Apparently smoking is bad for you. No shit, that’s what people keep telling me. On TV, in the newspapers, in the streets. In service of this breakthrough news, the British Government recently unveiled a new anti-smoking campaign that has fish hooks hooked deep into a woman’s mouth and yanking her sideways. It’s a groovy poster (image below), and if I didn’t know it was a lame Brit attempt to make people stop smoking, I’d think Eli Roth and his “Hostel” guys were at it again. Anyways, apparently the ads are scaring the crap out of British kids, and over 800 complaints have already been lodged.
16 May 2007
Although the young tike has said that he wants to go, the Royal Army (I think that’s what they’re called) of the United Kingdom isn’t going to send him over to Iraq to serve his duty. And it’s well they shouldn’t. I know I’m expected to bash celebrities, but come on, sending Prince Harry over there will just complicate matters. Terrorists will be gunning for him and they’ll kill a whole lot of people to get to him. That basically means extra danger for everyone around ol Harry, and as we all know, you don’t exactly need extra danger over there right now. And hey, if Harry is over in Iraq, who will defend the UK from the French? I hear they’re plotting an invasion or something.
15 May 2007
Wait, aren’t BBC reporters supposed to be better than us? As in, they don’t go around screaming into people’s faces like a red-faced maniac? Oh well, don’t tell BBC bloke John Sweeney that, who got into it with a Scientology film crew and now the video of Sweeney losing his cool is all over YouTube (video below). Sweeney defends his maniac rage here by accusing the Scientologists of using the video to undermine his report about them. Hey, I don’t buy into all that God or alien as God stuff myself, but this video is pretty funny. I just love it when British guys act like us Ugly Americans. Har har.
10 May 2007
Ooooh, I’m so shocked. Apparently according to this article, despite the population of the United States consisting of more than 30-percent non-whites, nearly 90-percent of all Hollywood writers are white. This, coming from the land where politically correctness means the only acceptable villain in movies nowadays are Big Business run by Evil White Guys. They are so progressive over there in Hollywood that they still insist on hiring people who looks just like them to write their movies. So the next time Hollywood tries to preach to you about being more “open-minded” or “progressive” (i.e. be more Liberal), tell them to go shove it up their (probably) white ass.
7 May 2007
You may or may not have heard, but America is caught in a crappy war overseas right now in Iraq, where scum in civilian clothes are waving “Hi” to our soldiers to their faces and shooting them in the back as they walk past. Everyone who isn’t George W. Bush wants our troops out of Iraq; at least, every rational person I know. But you don’t have Oliver Stone make a 30-second TV spot for you calling for said withdrawal. Why? Because people hate Oliver Stone. Don’t believe me? How much money did “Alexander” make? Or “World Trade Center? Even when Stone makes a movie without politics, people still doesn’t go see them. But don’t tell that to MoveOn.org, who has sponsored these TV spots (below) by Stone.
28 April 2007
Oh, George, will you ever stop being a source of grand amusement to us all? Hopefully not! Here’s that interactive Dancing Bush “game” (I don’t actually think it’s a game, but it sure is kinda fun) from Miniclip.com that has been burning up the Internet (or at least, got a lot of people looking for it). See George dance! See George do the moonwalk! See George get his Disco Dancing/Saturday Night Fever on!
27 April 2007
After weeks of not saying anything, or saying very little, and even going on last night’s “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart and hitting back at those protesting him, Richard Gere has finally buckled and issued a statement of apology, perhaps hoping to head off jail time in India. Said Gere on Stewart’s show: “There is a very small, right-wing, very conservative political party in India, and they are the moral police in India and they do this kind of thing quite often.” Oops, I guess that didn’t work. Maybe they don’t get “The Daily Show” in India?
27 April 2007
Apparently your country having the highest number of people infected with the deadly AIDs virus (count’em — 5.7 million people infected with AIDs in India alone) is not nearly as important as throwing Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty in jail for up to three months to the good people of India. Or at least, to the Indian Judicial System, which has just issued arrest warrants for both Gere and Shetty for “contravening the country’s public obscenity law” by dipping and then kissing her on the cheek during a recent AIDs-awareness event in India. This resulted in Gere’s effigy being burned and official complaints filed in court. Yikes.
23 April 2007
Okay, so maybe she’s French, and you know my stand on the French. And yeah, maybe she is a card carrying member of France’s Socialist Party (I didn’t even know these people had actual parties, I thought they lived in boxes in alleyways and came out every now and then to hold up signs about the end of the world). Still, I’d take Segolene Royal over Hilary Clinton anyday. At the very least, she’s not a bad looking broad for 53, and there are no thunder thighs to wince at. On May 6 she will be facing off against Conservative hardliner Nicolas Sarkozy for the French throne — er, I mean, Presidency. I’d vote for Segolene if I could. It’s not everyday you get a chance to vote in a bangable President, even if she is a Socialist.
20 April 2007
From the department of, “What the hell were they thinking?” comes this intriguing story about how the people who run the Miss Mexico organization recently had to re-designed a dress they had made for Rosa Maria Ojeda, their 2007 Miss Mexico, to wear in the upcoming Miss Universe pageant, to be held in Mexico City in May So what’s wrong with her dress? According to this, it’s a “floor-length dress, belted by bullets and accented by sketches of hangings during Mexico’s Roman Catholic uprising in the 1920s.” Seriously, what the frak were they thinking?
19 April 2007
The insanity in India continues, as here comes news that formal criminal charges have been filed against Richard Gere for committing “an obscene act” in publicly. As you’ll recall (unless you have attention memory loss, that is), Gere innocently kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty during a televised AIDS awareness event in New Delhi. After which, Hindu fundamentalists throughout India protested and burned Gere’s image in effigy. According to this, people filing these type of charges in India is not uncommon, and that “they add to a backlog of legal cases in the country that has nearly crippled the judicial system.”
16 April 2007
Sometimes something is just so stupid that you have to sit back and laugh at it. Then you have something like what is going on in India at the moment, where people are burning effigies of Richard Gere (yes, the American actor) because he hugged and kissed the cheek of Indian actress/Celebrity UK Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty while the two were in India promoting AIDS awareness. Apparently this is a big no-no in India (gee, I wonder how they managed to pump out a couple of billion kids if they’re so against public displays of barely affection), because now they’re burning effigies of the actor on the streets and if I’m not mistaken, Shilpa Shetty’s career in India is all but dead.
14 April 2007
This article talks about how scores of notable celebrities are falling over themselves to give former Saturday Night Live funnyman Al Franken money for his Minnesota Senatorial run against Republican Norm Coleman. Here’s my thought on this: those celebrities, and Franken, have no idea what they’re doing. My theory about celebrities backing politicos? The American people hate it. Mainstream America already thinks Hollywood celebrities are overpriced, overpaid, and overcongratulated doofuses, so whenever a gaggle of celebrity flocks to a political candidate and supports him, the guy always loses. Kerry? Gore? Anyone?
7 June 2007