Good news and bad news, guys — the good news is that the horribly untalented Sanjaya Malakar has finally been eliminated from American Idol last night (suck on it, Howard Stern!), but the bad news is that we won’t be seeing anymore of Sanjaya’s sister, Shyamali, Sanjaya’s insanely hot 19-year old sister and ex-Hooters waitress, who always shows up in the audience during the episode tapings. Damn you, American Idol! Damn you Simon for constantly criticizing Sanjaya! Damn you all! Shyamaaaaaaaaaaali!!!!!!
18 April 2007
Yeah, we know Haley Scarnato has been kicked off American Idol since last week, but we’re still feeling her absence from the show, especially since we (and when I say “we”, I of course mean “me”) barely got through last night’s episode, and aren’t even sure if we’re going to watch tonight’s Results Show. But now that Haley Scarnato has been kicked off American Idol, we can say with completely certainty that she was, bar none, the American Idol Hottie of Season Six, and we shall miss her. Call us, Haley!
17 April 2007
With the caption, “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow”, those kooky guys over at Maxim has deemed American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar as their “Girl of the Day“. Obviously this is a big joke, as Sanjaya isn’t a girl. Right? Frankly I’d just ignore Sanjaya and do something on his sister Shyamali Malakar. I mean, come on, Maxim guys, the girl plays guitars naked! That’s at least 50 brownie points in my book.
12 April 2007
It’s now official: The sixth season of “American Idol” is now babe-free. As in, there isn’t a single reason for a warm-blooded heterosexual male to continue watching the show, now that Haley Scarnato has been voted off. (And yes, that Sanjaya guy is still there. Hell, he’ll probably end up winning the whole shebang. Did you see how smug he was throughout the whole Results Show on Tuesday?) But any case, now that Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen is gone, “American Idol” returns to the realm of squealing 13 year old girls and gay men. Have fun, guys, I am so over Season 6 of “Idol”.
12 April 2007
So who is Trishelle Cannatella and why should you care? (I mean, besides the fact that she’s an attractive blonde, which by itself should be more than enough to care?) You most likely know her as one of the contestants on MTV’s The Real World: Las Vegas, but she also had a pretty memorable turn on Ashton Kutcher’s “Punk’D” show. After her stint on The Real World, she joined The Surreal Life in 2004, and was one of the stars on the Reality TV Show Overload movie “The Scorned”, where all your favorite Reality TV personalities got sliced and diced and fun times were had by all. And did I mention Trishelle Cannatella looks quite good in various states of undress?
8 April 2007
Not content to dominate wacky Buddy Cop kung fu movies, Jackie Chan has now set his sights on conquering Reality TV. He’s launched his own Reality TV show, “The Disciple”, in China in cooperation with Beijing TV (BTV). How will the show work? The show will run from March to October, with 10 winners appearing in a movie to be produced by Chan, organizers said. The movie will be released before the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Chan said. Personally, I think they should have called it, “So You Want to Break Your Bones and Fall From Trees for Pennies a Day?” But that’s just me.
5 April 2007
I told you guys not to forget to vote for Gina Glocksen, but you went and forgot anyway, so now one of the only two passable hotties on “American Idol” is gone. That leaves Haley Scarnato, who will probably get booted next week since she and Gina ended up in the bottom two yesterday. So in honor of Gina Glocksen, here’s a brief visual history of her time on American Idol. Goodbye, rock’n'roll girl. We shall miss you. (Especially since we never saw you in that Supergirl costume live. Oh my.)
3 April 2007
In case you didn’t know, American Idol proved so popular that it has spawned legions of different versions in a billion different countries. (Or actually, the British Pop Idol proved so popular that it spawned American Idol and all the rest, having been first and whatnot.) In any case, since most Americans have no idea that Pop Idol even existed, let’s just pretend American Idol was first, and go with it. In any case, while an awkward white guy won last year’s American Idol, a Katharine McPhee-esque babe won the Canadian version. Her name is Eva Avila, and tell me she doesn’t look like a younger Katharine McPhee from certain angles.
30 March 2007
Good news, American Idol junkies, both of Season 6’s resident babes have survived Wednesday’s results night. While Gina Glocksen survived relatively easily (no surprise considering the praise she got for her Tuesday performance), Haley Scarnato had a bit of a tough time. She ended up in the bottom two with that fat curly hair kid. But alas, reason prevaled, and the fat curly hair kid got sent home, while Haley Scarnato survived to see next week. But damn, this was too close. Guys, you gotta start voting for Gina and Haley, or else there won’t be any babes left on American Idol season 6! Now let’s get to it, okay?
26 March 2007
In case you missed it, the winner of Tyra Banks’ “America’s Next Top Model’s” Season 5 was young, tall, leggy, and flat-chested Nicole Linkletter. Hey, she’s the perfect supermodel! Just kidding. Those things on her chest may barely qualify as mosquito bites, but that won’t stop her from conquering the fashion runways. Her prize for winning “America’s Next Top Model” was a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics, a fashion spread in ELLE magazine , and the cover of ELLEgirl magazine. Not bad swag if you can get it. Personally, I’d prefer a Ducati motorcycle, but maybe that’s just me. Here’s Nicole Linkletter.
23 March 2007
Go figure. The most popular contestant on Season Six of American Idol turns out not to be the one with the sex scandal, or even made it into the final round of, what, 24? It’s no other than Shyamali Malakar, who got kicked off the show after the contestants reached Los Angeles. We don’t know what the hell the judges were thinking (especially Simon. Come on, man! You fubar us by not keeping her on, Simon, you dolt!), but we sure miss seeing Shyamali Malakar performing every week instead of that dopey, girly brother of hers. What’s his name, Sanjaya? And hey, guess what? Apparently Shyamali Malakar is also a Hooters Girl, and she looks DAMN GOOD in her Hooters uniform. OH MY.
14 March 2007
With Antonella Barba eliminated (justifiably, I have to admit; her singing blew the last two times out, and spekaing of Antonella blowing — ahem) where was I? Oh right. With our Jersey Girl with a propensity for nudity gone, that only leaves really two girls worth watching American Idol for: Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen. Of the two, I’d say that Glocksen is the hotter of the duo, if only because of that whole rocker, “devil may care” attitude that she projects. A rocker has never won American Idol, so it’d be pretty cool if she won, although I doubt it. My guess is that one of the black girls will win; they have insane voices compared to babes Haley Scarnato and Gina Glocksen.
11 March 2007
Let’s face it, after getting the boot from “American Idol” last Thursday, no music exec is going to touch Antonella Barba with a ten-foot pole. Even people who thinks they might sell a record or two with her name isn’t going to do it at the risk to their reputation. So that only leaves one avenue for our Jersey Girl to get some bucks — posing nude. Or mostly nude. It’ll either be in Playboy (which seems likely) or one of the men’s magazines, like Maxim or Stuff. Personally I’d prefer Maxim or Stuff. I don’t know, but they always seem a lot classier and more “real” than the photoshopped, airbrushed-to-death pictures in Playboy. So what are the chances that Antonella Barba is going to “bare” all for us…?
9 March 2007
Those bastards at American Idol have done the unthinkable and voted our darling girl Antonella Barba off their rotten little show. For shame! Well actually, I guess we can’t blame AI for kicking Antonella off the show; people just didn’t vote enough for her. And sure, maybe her Godawful performance from Wednesday didn’t help, but still… Damn you guys. I told you to keep voting for her! Damn you all to hell! Oh well, she can always accept that $250,000 offer from the “Girls Gone Wild” dude…
8 March 2007
Of all the American Idol winners of the past, is there anyone more liked than Carrie Underwood? I swear I’ve never heard anyone say a single bad thing about her. Even people who think country music blows thinks Carrie Underwood is gosh darn cute and nice and they’d fall on a mud puddle so she can walk on their backs to get across the street. That’s how well-liked Carrie Underwood is. So for everyone out there, Carrie’s return to “American Idol” later tonight, during the Results Show, should please a whole lot of people. That is, unless you don’t like Carrie Underwood, in which case you probably don’t like “American Idol” either, so what’s the point?
7 March 2007
So I was sitting at home, minding my own business, and watching an E! Hollywood True Story on Alyssa Milano (which was very good, by the way), when there’s a ticker that says Joe Francis, the dork who created the “Girls Gone Wild” videos (you know, the one where college girls take off their shirts and engage in other lascivious behavior for the camera thanks to the miracle of alcohol and underage drinking?) has offered to pay Antonella Barba $250,000 as a “celebrity host” for one of his videos. Which is good news and bad news for our Jersey girl: if the whole American Idol thing doesn’t work out, there’s $250,000 waiting for her. And really, if all Francis wants to do is take advantage of her current notoriety and won’t require her to strip, why wouldn’t she do it? The girl has already posed mostly nude in front of a public water fountain, fer Christ. This doesn’t seem like that much of a step “down” if you know what I mean.
6 March 2007
Frenchie Davis, who got booted off of “American Idol”’s Season 2 after nude pictures of her surfaced on a porn website, is not all too pleased that she got the boot but current American Idol contestant Antonella Barba still has her spot on the show after her own nude pictures surfaced. There is one difference between the two girls, though: Barba’s pictures were nude modeling pics, and didn’t show up on any pay site, while Davis’ pics were on a pay site. Now I don’t know if that makes any difference, but Frenchie ain’t happy about it in any case. And really, can you blame her? AI kicks out the fat black girl, but keeps the skinny white girl? I smell racism, and it stinks like Swiss Cheese!
2 March 2007
The big talk around the Internet water cooler today is about Kellie Pickler’s breasts — are they real, or are they the result of a brilliant surgeon’s work? After her return to “American Idol” yesterday, Kellie, being Kellie has incurred just about the same split reaction she was known for when she was on AI’s Season 5 — that is, people don’t know rather to hate her, love her, or ogle her boobs. I’ve already posted screenshots of Kellie on Thursday’s show, but just for comparison, here is Kellie at the recent CMA (Country Music Awards, I think), showing a couple of different profiles. So what do you think? Are those boobs fake or real? Or are they in fact the product of a great push-up bra? You decide! (I’m just gonna ogle…)
2 March 2007
Scandal or no scandal, that’s not gonna stop the American public from voting Antonella Barba onto the next round of “American Idol”, as was apparently after the scandalized New Jersey babe survived Thursday’s results show. Although perhaps in a hinting of things to come, Antonella did end up in the bottom two, so those guys (and I do mean guys) voting for her better keep voting or our girl is not gonna survive past next week! Come on, guys, if we work together, we can keep this hot piece mama on “American Idol” and keep the show worth watching for ever and ever and ever! (Or at least until next week…)
1 March 2007
How long ago was Kellie Pickler on American Idol? It was just last year, wasn’t it? Well, seeing her back yesterday, I barely recognized her. I don’t know what she’s done to herself, but I don’t like the hair at all. And the breasts — um, are those the originals, or new and improved implants? As expected, Kellie has gone into country music, where she was born to sing. I don’t actually remember what she sang on the Results Show yesterday, but I remember it was good. And country. And Kellie has really filled up, if you know what I mean. Are those breast implants, or was Kellie just treating us to some incredible cleavage?
19 April 2007