Real Life Battle at Kruger on Video
This is just awesome. Seriously, just bloody awesome. An amateur photographer on safari in South Africa ran across a pride of lions just laying in wait for a family of Cape Buffaloes. When they get close enough, the lions strike, giving chase. The two adult buffaloes get away, but the lions manage to catch the baby buffalo and send it into the river. But that’s not the end of it. As the pride is trying to drag the defeated baby buffalo out of the river, a crocodile shows up and wants a piece! But wait, that’s not the end of it! Did I mention that the baby buffalo had parents, and his parents have friends? Lots and lots of friends…?
When Sixteen Year Old Girls Attack
You know, when I was sixteen, I never pissed anyone off so much that they would invite me under false pretenses to their house, where seven other girls wait to beat the crap out of me, while two more blocked my exit via the other side of the door. Now I’m not saying that this girl had it coming, but wow, what did she do to get these girls all riled up? According to the video, the victim ended up in the hospital with concussion and bruises and most of the girls doing the beating are now facing criminal charges. Since they’re all 16, who knows if they’ll end up in the slammer. In any case, dude, 16 years old, and gang beatings! I’m so glad I’m not in high school anymore.
Warning: Satellite TV Can Kill Your Wife
Okay, there’s nothing actually funny about this, and in fact, if you didn’t know this really happened, you would think it was yet another lame ass Hollywood movie destined to re-run endlessly on the Lifetime Channel or Oxygen or one of the other 5 billion “TV for women” channels out there. It’s a true story of a guy who, while trying to install his satellite TV, got frustrated and decided to pick up his handgun. He shoots at the wall (to make the holes to put in the installation, one presumes), but being the genius that he is, he didn’t figured that bullets go through walls. Unfortunately for him, his wife was standing outside the wall when he fired, and one of the bullets hit and killed her. All I can say is, wow, I’m glad I got Dish Network to install my TV!
Kiss Me, I’m Irish (In The Hood)
You know I love me some leprechauns, so since today is St. Patrick’s Day, here’s a clip from the movie “Leprechaun in the Hood”. Yes, you read that right. They put the evil, green jacket wearing Leprechaun (played, of course, by the fantastic Warwick Davis) in an urban neighborhood (i.e. “da hood”), and watch him go against Ice-T, playing a big-time gangster who gets shot dead by a dude in woman’s clothing. Later, the Leprechaun has to battle it out with said dude. Check it out, and kiss him if you see him, otherwise he might, you know, do evil Leprechaun stuff to ya. And there’s nothing worst then getting Leprechaun stuff done to ya on St. Patrick’s Day.
Happy Birthday to the Marine Corp
November 10th is the official birthday of the United States Marine Corp. HOORA!!!
And the New Seven Wonders of the World Are…
If you’re like me, you’ve been eagerly awaiting the announcement of the New Seven Wonders of the World, because let’s face it, what’s more exciting than a list of, um, old places. And it’s not like these latest Seven Wonders were just picked willy nilly by stuffy Professors, they were chosen by over 100 million votes by people in over 200 countries. (via) And so, without further ado, what are the New Seven Wonders of the World? They are: Chichén Itzá in Mexico; Christ the Redeemer in Brazil; The Great Wall in China; Machu Picchu in Peru; Petra in Jordan; The Roman Colosseum in Italy; and The Taj Mahal in India. Yeah, I’d have to go with Christ the Redeemer in Brazil, too, because no list is complete without, er, Christ, and redeeming stuff.
Two Gored, Seven Crushed at Pamplona Bull Run
So you’re bored, and bungee jumping just isn’t what it used to be. What’s a guy to do? Well, if you have the money, you fly to Spain to “run” with the bulls so you can go home and brag about it to your “boring” friends. What a great idea! Of course, you didn’t count on the bulls goring or crushing your dumb ass, which is what happened to 9 lucky idiots on Sunday in Pamplona, Spain. Two people were gored by a couple of Miura bulls, the largest fighting bulls in Spain, while 7 others just got crushed. (I’m guessing the gored dudes had better stories to tell their buddies.) Since records began in 1924, 13 people have been killed during the Pamplona Bull Run, with the last fatality being a 22-year-old American, who was gored to death in 1995. I bet he had a great story to tell. Well, maybe not. (via)
And 2007’s World’s Ugliest Dog is … Elwood!
Good God, that IS the world’s ugliest dog. Seriously, who would own a dog that looks like this; but even more interestingly, who would CLAIM to own a dog that looks like this? (And if what they say about a dog looking like their owner is true… BRRRRRRRRRRRRR) Elwood’s owner is one Karen Quigley (you just knew it had to be a chick, didn’t you?), who hails from New Jersey, and has the distinction of owning (much to her giddy delight, including a $1000 prize money) 2007’s ugliest dog, a crown bestowed on the fugly canine last Friday.
Spike Shooter: The New Red Bull?
I probably drink too much Red Bull for my own good. I put away about two a day, on a bad day, and one on a good day. I separate the “good” and “bad” day by how much I need to keep myself “up”. Two has been the maximum. Ever since the success of Red Bull, every company with a bottling plant has been putting out their own version, and to be honest with you, they’ve all sucked. And I’ve tried basically them all, but I have never tried Spike Shooter, which I never heard of until now.
Holy Sh@t. I Have a Better Body than Val Kilmer
Holy tub of lard, Batman! What in the world has happened to Val Kilmer? Oh sure, his movie career took a dramatic nosedive in the late ’90s and early ’00s, but he was poised to make a comeback with “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”, and now — this? Jesus H. Christ. I never imagined there would ever come a day when I could say, and with a perfectly straight face, that I had a better body than Iceman from “Top Gun”. I am so proud of me.
Burn, Baby, Burn!
Ah, the Fourth of July. Nothing says Americana more than blowing shit up. Thus the Fourth of July was born. (And I think there was something about Independence and the British and whatnot. I feggit.) Anyhoo, go out, be merry, drink too much, try to drive home, vomit into your toilet, then come up with a great excuse not to go into work on the 5th. (Warning: BeyondHollywood.com does not encourage drinking and driving. And if you do, you are a dumbass, and deserve to wrap your car around a lightpost. Darwinism and all that junk.) As Tom Hanks said in “Saving Private Ryan” — “I’ll see you on the beach, beeyatches!” Or something to that effect.