Salma Hayek’s WTF Moment of the Century
So Salma Hayek was overseas in Germany promoting something or rather, and somehow ended up on a German TV show where she somehow lost some kind of bet, which ended up with Salma Hayek slipping on this traditional Bavarian dress and parading around the show’s stage like a fool. Okay, a really hot fool with killer cleavage, but you gotta admit, I don’t think Salma Hayek is going to be putting this on her movie reel any time soon. But you know where it will show up at? When they do roasts for her, or when she shows up on a talk show. Jay Leno will probably go for this. If it was me, I’d make up some story about how Salma Hayek is a time-traveling German chick who wants to eat our brains. That’d be fun, right? Pics of Salma in her Bavarian dress below.
Ride’em Cowgirls: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz
Spanish spitfires Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz recently co-starred in a western called “Bandidas” that didn’t get a whole lot of airplay, mostly because it kinda sucked donkey balls. But you know what didn’t suck? Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz wearing chaps and running around a turn-of-the-century Mexico shooting people and pretending to make out while falling into rivers that, conveniently, left them dripping wet in see-through clothes. Yup, the producers of “Bandidas” were definitely selling the story. No, really. Anyhoo, the movie blew in and blew out, and blew all over the place along the way, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with its two stars, as these promos from the flick can testify. Hot chicks in chaps. Wow.
Celebrity Cleavage: Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek would like you to know that when it comes to cleavage, no one is spicier than a girl from Down South, and by “South” I mean Mexico, not, you know, “the South”. Which leads me to this thought: We all know that Salma Hayek is currently preggers, and pregnant woman tend to develop very huge melons, so if Salma Hayek already has huge breasts well before she got pregnant, what kind of cleavage do you think Salma Hayek is sporting at the moment? I don’t know, but man, I’d sure like to find out! And oh yeah, congrats on the baby Salma and all that stuff. Let me be the first to congrat you and your wonderful cleavage.
George Clooney’s 3 Favorite Things Are …
What, you don’t know what George Clooney’s three favorite things are? How dare you! Everyone should know, because frankly, if not for George Clooney, this world would be a poor, poor world for it. (Or something to that effect.) In any case, the guys over at Cracked.com recently asked George Clooney to list his three most favorite things in the world, and guess what, he did! (Well, he didn’t, but you know what I mean. Just pretend he did. The article is frakkin’ funny.) First on George’s list? Snowmobiles.
Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Bloated
In case you were wondering why Salma Hayek married some old stinky guy a few months ago, this is why: she’s preggers. As in, she was a few months preggers when she got married. As in, it’s typical “Oh shit, you knocked me up, you bastard, now you gotta marry me before people find out!” Hollywood wedding bullshit. Here’s Salma Hayek, caught in Paris, France looking like a bloated Free Willy. I’m not saying Salma Hayek ain’t looking fine in these pictures, but I am saying that Salma Hayek isn’t looking very fine in these pictures. And for a woman whose name is usually synonymous with “super hot”, seeing her preggers and not so much super hot is kinda disturbing. Seriously, shouldn’t this be against the Hollywood Sexpot Rule?
Salma Hayek Looking NOT Hot? Impossible!!
You realize how something as atrocious as this particular haircut sported by Salma Hayek (not to mention that dress! Holy Cow!) at Tuesday’s Academy Awards announcements could have happened, don’t you? One word: Gay Hollywood Stylists to the Stars. I mean, Jesus H. Christ on a stick. Do you realize how hard it is to make a woman of Salma Hayek’s inherent hotness and sauciness look like a 50-year old housewife with absolutely no sex appeal or ability to turn men on? And that dress. Oh my dear Lord that dress! I swear I didn’t think I would ever see the day when pictures of Salma Hayek would loosen my pants instead of making it constrict. This, surely, must be the third sign of the Apocalypse…
Salma Hayek 2007 Campari Promotional Calendar
Man, Salma Hayek and her incredible cleavage really likes their booze. Either that, or she’s the new spokesmodel for Italian whine Campari, which, in case you don’t know, is an alcoholic aperitif obtained from the infusion of bitter herbs, aromatic plants and fruit in alcohol and water. It is a type of bitters. Or at least that’s what Wikipedia says. I ain’t no booze hound, I don’t know this stuff! Anyways, here’s Salma Hayek in the 2007 Campari Promotional Calendar.
Latin Flavor: Salma Hayek’s Cleavage
If I was to be impolite, I would say that Mexican spitfire Salma Hayek is a bit of a hypocrite. Every other week I hear Hayek on TV or in some magazine article bitching about Hollywood forcing people to look this way and that, and Hayek’s spiel is that you should be happy with who you are, and not try to conform. Like, duh. It’s easy for Hayek to say that looking the way she does. She’s curvy, has cleavage out the wazoo, and oh yeah, that face ain’t bad, either. Talk to me about self-esteem when you actually look like your Ugly Betty character, Salma! In any case, how ’bout them cleavage?
Diamonds and Cleavage are Salma Hayek’s Best Friends
Seriously, folks, Salma Hayek has got some serious boobage going on here, and covering her in diamonds don’t hurt the gal any at’tall. I can hear the phone call now: “Hey, Salma? Wanna come down to our jewelry store, pretend to try on some diamonds while we snap pictures of you, and then you can have those diamonds for free? And oh yeah, wear something low-cut and whatnot.” Ahhhh, the life of a movie star. Ain’t it grand? And a half?
Monday Blues Remover: Salma Hayek
Mondays blow, and anything to relieve its crapper nature is welcome. In service of that, here’s the ultimate Monday Blues Remover: Salma Hayek. The original spicy Mexican import can currently be seen in “Ask the Dusk”, now on DVD, where Salma shows all. It’s too bad she drops trou for Colin Farrell; that drunken Irish dingbat has seen more poon than NASA astronauts. Damn him and his Irish charms!
Salma Hayek Bikini Pictures
With fellow Latina babe Shakira’s bikini figure revealed (and yes, as sung, those hips do not, indeed, lie), it’s Mexican spitfire Salma Hayek’s turn to reveal the truth within — her clothes. Here’s the star of “Frida” (minus unibrow, thank God) in a two-piece black bikini hanging out with her gringo boyfriend. No idea who this guy is, but he kinda looks like Josh Lucas. Then again, who cares who he is. Salma does, indeed, have a great body. Muchos gracias! Bien bien! Which, for those of you who don’t speak Spanish, means, “I gotsa get me sommathat!”
Scarlett Johansson’s Boobies Triumphs Over Salma Hayek’s and Jessica Simpson’s
File this one under, “Only in Hollywood would people even tolerate something as stupid as this,” but Scarlett Johansson’s breasts have been voted by the readers of In Touch Magazine as the “Best Breasts in Hollywood”. No, I kid you not. This was a real survey, by a real magazine, about real people. Coming in second and third were Salma Hayek and Jessica Simpson. Take a look at the samples below and judge for yourself!
Salma Hayek at the Ask the Dust Premiere in Spain
In “Ask the Dust”, Salma Hayek plays a Mexican waitress. Ooooh, she’s really stretching her acting chops now! Just kidding. Here’s Salma at the red carpet premiere of her new movie (co-starring the ubiquitous Colin Farrell) in Spain. Why open a movie in Spain? Because it’s, er, Spanish-rific? I’m not sure if it’s the clothes, but Salma is looking a bit, er, balloonish here…
Salma Hayek and Penelopez Cruz at the Premiere of “Bandidas”
Mexican starlet Salma Hayek in a bright red dress at the “Bandidas” premiere red carpet. She’s eventually joined by her “Bandidas” co-star Penelope Cruz, who looks amazing in a black strapless dress.
Salma Hayek Does Full Frontal Nudity in New Movie
In a recent interview with the New York Daily News, Mexican spitfire Salma Hayek defended her decision to reveal her naughty bits in all their naughty glory during a beach nude scene in her new movie “Ask the Dust”, which co-stars Irish boozehound Colin Farrell as an American boozehound in Mexico or thereabouts. Now if you asked me, she needn’t have defended it, but then again, I wish she would do more, and maybe this will help. Read on…
Hot Famous Women on the Red Carpet — at the Oscars!
It’s that time of the year again, when hot famous women in expensive dress walks down a bright red carpet and crazy photographers snap pictures of them. Woohoo! It’s the Oscars again, baby! And for your viewing pleasure, a group of Oscar arrivals by some of Hollywood’s hottest women.
Salma Hayek in Town and Country Magazine
Mexican spitfire Salma Hayek looking very elegant in this March 2006 Town and Country Magazine spread. I don’t know if I like this Salma. I think I prefer her in panties. Ummm…Salma Hayek in panties…
Salma Hayek Pictures Galore
More Salma Hayek pictures because, well, it’s Salma Hayek, and she’s a total hottie, even if she has a mouth that can run on and on and on and you can barely understand a word of it. But you know what they say, as long as she looks good while she’s bitching, she can keep on bitching as long as she wants!
Salma Hayek in Flaunt Magazine
A very colorful Salma Hayek flaunting her goodies for Flaunt Magazine. And what nice goodies they are. (You know, one of these days I’m going to get tired of using the word “flaunt” for pictorials of celebs in Flaunt Magazine. But until then…)
Salma Hayek in Pink Nightie
Mexican actress Salma Hayek recently spoke out against Hollywood’s superficial need to have all actresses thin and skinny. After which she quickly removed most of her clothing for this sexy spread. Now this is my kind of feminism!