Hollywood Top 5: Greatest Sarah Silverman Moments
Let’s face it, when it comes to Sarah Silverman, we’re talking about a combination of girl-next door cuteness and just pure, unadulterated vulgarity spewing forth unrelentlessly from a sewer. The girl is as cute as she is vicious. And when presented with the opportunity to eviscerate someone and get a laugh out of it, Sarah Silverman is there like white on rice come hell or high water. You don’t think she’ll do it, but she’ll do it. And you know what? She’s funny as hell, too. Who could make a song about “f–king Matt Damon” not only hilarious, but start a whole trend? Here, then, are the Top 5 Greatest Sarah Silverman moments.
Video: She’s F–king Matt Damon, Now He’s F–King Ben Affleck
Jimmy Kimmel is mad as hell that his girlfriend Sarah Silverman is f–king Matt Damon and made a song about it (complete with lame-o dance-off sequence), and he’s not going to take it anymore. So Jimmy Kimmel is now f–king Ben Affleck, and he’s made a song about it too, complete with uber homo-erotic “face each other while singing”. And oh yeah, he somehow got some of Hollywood’s biggest stars to play cameos, like Brad f–king Pitt as a delivery man. There’s also Robin Williams, Ellen Barkin, and Don Cheadle singing a song about Jimmy Kimmel f–king Ben Affleck (”It’s not a man crush, dammit!”). Funny stuff, man. Who knew Jimmy was capable of such things?
Sarah Silverman is Cute
It’s not your imagination if you think Sarah Silverman is a dirty, dirty girl. She is, but that’s more her schtick than anything, I believe. But it’s no surprise why you would think she’s a dirty girl, because let’s face it, everytime you see her, she’s either grabbing her crotch, grabbing someone else’s crotch, or sticking hr tongue out in a suggestive manner. And then there are all those jokes on MTV award shows. Here’s Sarah Silverman, looking so cute outside David Letterman’s show. Not just cute, but incredibly normal. See? The girl can be normal when she doesn’t try too hard, which she’s not in this case. Now just wait for the crotch grabbing and joke about how Bob Saget of Full House fame is secretly a pedophile…
Video: Sarah Silverman Bitch Slaps Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards
In case you missed it, here’s the video of Sarah Silverman bitch slapping Paris Hilton with some jokes at the MTV Movie Awards held last Sunday. My favorite part? Silverman simply mentions that Hilton is going to jail tomorrow, and the crowd cheers and claps. Then the camera turns to Paris and — wow, you have to see it. (See it now, hurry, before the video gets pulled! You’ve been warned!)
Video: Sarah Silverman and Jessica Biel’s MTV Kiss
I told you it wouldn’t take long before Sarah Silverman and Jessica Biel’s “almost kiss” showed up on YouTube, so here it is. And is it me or is Sarah sporting some really impressive cleavage? I had no idea our little Jewish American Princess had it in her! Or maybe those are stuffing. I dunno, but this video is pretty damn hot. Screw Britney and Madonna. This fake kiss-no kiss is actually 100 times sexier. Go figure.
Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman MTV Kiss
In case you missed it, the highlight of last night’s MTV Movie Awards was, without a doubt, a backstage kiss (okay, almost kiss) between Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman as the two hotties complained about that infamous Britney-Madonna kiss from a few years back. (Or was that a couple of decades ago? I forgot.) Anyways, in case you thought that almost-kiss (damn it, kiss already! stop teasing us!) was live, you’re wrong. Here’s Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman doing a practice run-through. Is it me, or does Sarah Silverman look pretty damn good even opposite Jessica Biel? Our foulmouth Jewish comedian is holding her own, without a doubt! Woot woot! I expect that footage of the almost-kiss to land on YouTube around midnight…
Sarah Silverman MTV Movie Awards Promos
In case you didn’t notice all those MTV Movie Awards ads showing up all over the site, over at MTV at this very moment Sarah Silverman is hosting the MTV Movie Awards. It’s fun had by all, and much vulgar comedy will be spilled. At least, one can hope. I’m not watching the Awards show myself, mostly because I know I can always catch it tomorrow and the day after and the month after because MTV alway re-runs this thing into the ground anyways. Anyhoo, here are some promotional images that Sarah Silverman did for the Awards show. The only thing surprising about these pictures? There isn’t one where Sarah shoves that golden popcorn into her mouth. Seriously, I’m so disappointed in her.
Video: Sarah Silverman’s The Aristocrats Joke
I can’t believe MTV is going to trust Sarah Silverman with a microphone, a stage, and live television in a room full of a bunch of jackasses who thinks they’re God’s gift to everything. Holy cow. Something is not quite right there. If you know Sarah Silverman’s comedy — well, it’s apparently whoever signed her up to host the MTV Movie Awards had no clue. Or they THINK they know, but they don’t know. This is the kind of comedy Sarah is capable of. (Is there any question why I love this woman? She’s friggin brilliant!)
Sarah Silverman in Maxim
Leave it to Sarah Silverman to do something goofy while wearing only her panties. That’s our favorite JAP for ya. (JAP = Jewish American Princess, so don’t start getting any ideas.) Here is our MTV Movie Awards host in the latest issue of Maxim Magazine. Somehow, for some reason, I find this very, very sexy. Then again, maybe it’s the fact that Sarah Silverman is a very, very dirty girl with a very, very dirty mouth, and she’s still very, very sexy anyway without even trying. Or maybe it’s the fact that all that foul language comes out of that sweet looking mouth. Jimmy Kimmell is so goddamn lucky.
Sarah Silverman to Host the MTV Movie Awards
Get ready, MTV kids, Sarah Silverman is about to blow your mind. The 36-year old foul-mouthed Jewish comedian is going to be hosting MTV’s annual Movie Awards (I forgot what year of the award this is, and MTV doesn’t seem to give a crap, so we’ll just go with 2007). This will come as a total shock to the kids, as they probably have no idea who Silverman is, or what she’s capable of. Let me just warn you guys: Sarah Silverman is cute as hell on the outside, but sharp as a knife in the rib cages on the inside. And oh yeah, did I mention that she’s got a potty mouth like you wouldn’t believe? Get ready for sex jokes out the wazoo and the words “vagina” throughout the nights, boys and girls! (And maybe she’ll throw in one or two jokes about boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel’s small penis if we’re lucky.)
Sarah Silverman Spoofs Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth”
I told you there is a reason I love Sarah Silverman. She’s very funny, she’s deceptively kinda hot, and she isn’t afraid to bitch slap guys like Al Gore and his self-important movie “An Inconvenient Truth”, about global warning and how, Gosh darn it, we human beings (and especially us awful, awful Americans) are to blame for the destruction of Earth and the cosmos and the Heavens above and below, etc. Here is Silverman’s version of Al Bore’s movie, called “A Convenient Truth”. You know, she’s right. Zombies reanimated via global warning would be fun!
We Heart Nasty Little Girl Sarah Silverman
When she’s not busy pissing off Chinese people by using the word “chink” on national TV or pissing off black people by claiming them for killing Jesus, Sarah Silverman is hard at work on her new Comedy Central TV show, which premires tonight and no doubt will offend just about everyone in a bad way. Or as Silverman would put it: “And I mean bad, like in that black way.” Oh yes, that’s our innocent looking, but dirty as pigsty Jewish Princess. But don’t let that fool you. In-between groping herself for the cameras at public movie premieres, miming with bananas, and doing sexually unspeakable things to current boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel, she’s also the kind of girl you can take home to meet mom. (Or maybe not…)