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Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow
Talk about every fanboy’s wet dream. Scarlett Johansson is already right up there without ever slipping on the tight black pleather, but how are the poor fanboys going to restrain themselves when Scarlett Johansson shows up onscreen in “Iron Man 2″ in full Black Widow garb? We’re talking ultra tight black pleather here, folks. Plus, the hair is kinda hot, too. Some pics of Scarlett Johansson in the upcoming “Iron Man 2″. Is it just me, or is the pic where she’s just in a dress “working” even sexier than the one where she’s dressed up as the Black Widow?
Scarlett Johansson Goes Redhead
31 March 2009
Scarlett Johansson in any color is hot, but Scarlett Johansson as a redhead? Hmm, it’ll take a little getting used to, but I’m sure sooner rather than later I’m going to come around and love it. It’s Scarlett Johansson, after all. Even when she’s singing badly, you can’t help but have a crush on the girl. I’m guessing the new darker look is for her role in the upcoming “Iron Man 2″, where she’ll play the duplicitous Black Widow character, a Russian assassin with a lot of secrets. The character has red hair in the comic books, I believe. Anyways, here’s Scarlett Johansson as a redhead in the latest issue of Vogue.
Scarlett Johansson’s Best Assets Do All the Selling
17 February 2009
Now I don’t know what Dolce & Gabanna is, or what they sell, but I do know this: they have great tastes in pitchwoman. Signing Scarlett Johansson to sell your product is definitely the way to go. Heck, I don’t have any money, and I still don’t know what the hell a Dolce & Gabanna product is, but I’m going to go out right now and ask for some Dolce & Gabanna stuff. I’m hoping the lady behind the counter doesn’t hand me the keys to a Ferrari, because I really can’t afford a Ferrari right now. Maybe a nice Toyota hybrid. I think I can afford those pieces of shit. Anyways, here’s Scarlett and her assets doing what Scarlett’s mouth can’t do in a million years. Oh, Scarlett, thanks for the mammaries.
Scarlett Johansson is Still Alluring
19 November 2008
There’s a whole lot of things you can say about Scarlett Johansson: she’s talented, she’s got an amazing natural rack, her lips are made for kissing, and she can stop traffic by waking up in the morning. You can also say that she should stop trying to become a singer, she should divorce whoever she is married to at the moment and call me. But you know what you can’t say about Scarlett Johansson? You can’t say that Scarlett Johansson isn’t alluring. Because if you could say that about her, then Allure Magazine wouldn’t have put her on the cover of their magazine and did an article on her. Because, you know, that would like make the universe explode or sumthin’. Anyways, Scarlett Johansson in Allure, looking hot as usual.
The Girls of The Spirit Movie
7 November 2008
I had no idea being a masked superhero was this good on the libido! Of course, not everyone can be the Spirit, Will Eisner’s comic book avenger who prowls the streets of — well, whatever city the Spirit prowls and beats bad guys in. Anyways, the movie version is coming out, and it’s being directed by Frank Miller, who has stuffed the flick full of hot girls for The Spirit to love’em and leave’em. How hot are we talking about? How about Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson, Scarlett Johansson, Paz Vega, Jaime King, and Stana Katic. All the girls as their characters below. Now tell me you still don’t want to see this thing. (Okay, even if you don’t see it, at least get the DVD just to support comic book movies with hot chicks.)
Scarlett Johansson is off the Market
28 September 2008
If you’re like me (and God help you if you are), then you’ve probably been practicing your come-on line for that day when you stumble across Scarlett Johansson in a bar somewhere, hopefully while she’s on the rebound. Well, that’s sorta still possible, even if the news of the weekend is that Scarlett Johansson has gotten hitch to Ryan Reynolds somewhere in Vancounter, British Columbia, which I believe is in Canada or thereabouts. So what are the chances that this thing will actually work out? I dunno. They sure are pretty enough to make very pretty babies, but hot young celebrities usually don’t squirt out the kids unless the marriage is the RESULT of an unplanned pregnancy, in which case your chances of catching the female half on the rebound a year or so from now is pretty darn good. So, Scarlett Johansson is off the market. Here’s a look at what Ryan Reynolds will be coming home to at nights. The bastard.
Win a Threesome with Scarlett Johansson
14 August 2008
In what might just be the greatest movie tie-in in the history of all movie tie-ins, Scarlett Johansson is offering herself up for a threesome with one lucky winner. To enter, all you have to do is email her with your best response as to why you should be the lucky bastard who gets to participate in a threesome with Scarlett Johansson and another lucky bastard (or gal — hopefully a gal). Obviously, you know what this means — a long night of wild sex in all kinds of position. With Scarlett Johansson. And a third person. Yes, that’s right. It’s — oh, who are we kidding. You’ll probably end up at the movie premiere with ScarJo and some other dude or something. But hey, one can dream, can’t one?
The Tonight Show with Scarlett Johansson’s Rack
11 August 2008
So I was catching up on the latest going ons in the world of politics last week, and a particular story caught my attention. It has Scarlett Johansson and Barack Obama dating. No, KIDDING. There was this thing about how Scarlett Johansson had sent the O-man an email expressing her support, and somehow that ended up being a story about how the two were “exchanging” emails. This is probably untrue, and someone probably got it mixed up, but I thought it would be cool if it was true. Imagine if Obama won the White House, and he’s got Scarlett Johansson on the side. Compare ScarJo to Monica, and — wow, someone’s got tastes, huh? Anyways, it’s probably bullshit anyways, whatever. Scarlett Johansson was recently on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and was kind enough to bring her rack with her. Such an accomodating gal, our ScarJo.
Hey, Remember Scarlett Johansson?
13 July 2008
Okay, so maybe the title of this post is a bit silly. Of course you remember who Scarlett Johansson is. It’s not like she’s been out of the news for years and years and what not. She’s got new movies coming out, she recently bombed with a singing career, and I think she may or may not be engaged to marry Ryan Reynolds. Or maybe it was Josh Hartnett. Well, either one of those guys, or neither one of those guys. What am I, Scarlett Johansson’s press agent? Anyhoo. Just in case you’ve forgotten why you should care about what Scarlett Johansson does with her free time, here’s Scarlett Johansson in the latest issue of Cosmo. Yup, every now and then, it deserves reminding that ScarJo is an uber babe.
Scarlett Johansson is Hot in GQ
20 May 2008
Word on the street is that Scarlett Johansson’s debut musical album (yes, Scarlett Johansson is now a singer, in case you didn’t know) is not so good, and the critics are panning it. Which is a real shame, as there’s just no need to pan anything Scarlett Johansson does, especially when she looks this good in GQ magazine. Now if we can only get Scarlett Johansson free from Woody Allen, all will be well with the world. Then again, Woody did manage to talk Scarlett into a threesome scene with Penelope Cruz in their latest movie together, so why am I bitching about the Woodman?
Trailer for Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona
14 May 2008
There’s absolutely no reason why you should be excited about “seeing a Woody Allen movie”, unless you’re a film snob, in which case mentioning that you’re “going to go see a Woody Allen movie” to anyone within earshot is probably the best thing about your day, which is kind of pathetic, but whatever, it’s your life. Anyhoo. Why should you care about watching this trailer for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”? Because it’s the movie where, word has it, Scarlett Johansson (the Woodman’s latest muse) gets into a threesome with some lucky Spanish dude and a skanky Penelope Cruz. There’s also supposed to be a major lesbian make-out scene. Hey, you can see some of that in this trailer! Now if the actual movie is half as sleaze-tastic as the trailer, then the Woodman has done a fine job. If not? Not so much.
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds Are Engaged
5 May 2008
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are engaged? Damn. I didn’t even know they were dating! Then again, it’s not like I keep up with celebrity dating habits, mostly because these people date different people every other day, and I just don’t care nearly enough. But hey, whenever someone manages to not only nab Scarlett Johansson, but take her off the market for the rest of us, then I’m very interested. Word from the AP is that the two actors are engaged — Johnasson is 23 and Reynolds is 31. Or at least, that’s the news according to Johansson’s publicist, although no wedding date has been scheduled.
Music Video for Scarlett Johansson’s Falling Down
29 April 2008
Wow. Um. Wow. Okay, so I wasn’t totally against Scarlett Johansson releasing a musical album. After all, she’s wicked talented as an actress, so maybe, just maybe, she could be decent too as a musical artist. But, um, I don’t know, here’s Scarlett’s music video for “Falling Down”, her first single off her debut album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”. It’s, uh, well, I don’t know. I thought her voice would be sweeter than that. Whoever this girl is that’s singing, it sounds like she’s smoked since she was 9, and is still doing 10 packs a day. But don’t take my word for it, judge for yourself. Does Scarlett Johansson suck as a singer, or not?
Megan Fox is 2008’s Sexiest Woman in the World
23 April 2008
I know what you’re thinking: “Gee, I wonder who is the sexiest woman of 2008?” Well since you asked so nicely, the guys at FHM went and did a poll, and the winner is Megan Fox. See? And people say I don’t provide anything worthwhile on the site that you could use in, like, daily work conversations or what have you. So if Fox is first, who are the rest of the sexiest best? Jessica Biel came in at #2, followed by last year’s winner, Jessica Alba. Elisha Cuthbert and Scarlett Johansson brings up the rear at #4 and #5, respectively.
The Big List of Chicks Who Make Lots of Money in 2007
13 April 2008
US Magazine, a trade publication that I read every day while Vietnamese ladies of varying hotness and age do my nails and give me a nice rubdown, has a list appropriately called “What People Earn”. You know, because seriously, that’s, like, um, wow, that’s not a very creative list. But anyways, it gets the point across, and I suppose that’s what matters. And the point is that Miley Cyrus made $18 million last year, while fellow chick Jessica Alba made a measly $9 million. Hah! Jessica should be ashame of herself. She needs to work harder and stop getting knocked up is what she needs to do.
Scarlett Johansson Sings, Too
4 April 2008
In case you’ve been living under a rock, or don’t like Scarlett Johansson enough to follow her career (what are you, a commie?), then you know that Scarlett Johansson has been working on an album. A musical album. You know, like where she sings and stuff? Yeah, that kind. Anyways, we’ve all been dying to see it, especially those who thinks that sweet, soft voices of hers will sound killer coming out of a CD player. (Or iPod to you kids nowadays.) Here’s the cover to Scarlett’s upcoming album. Personally, if I was her manager, I’d put her in a barely-there dress. Isn’t that how Mariah Carey does it? Modesty is no way to sell an album, Scarlett! More promos from the album here.
Promos for Scarlett Johansson’s Album Debut
19 March 2008
Scarlett Johansson sings in her debut album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”. What? Really? Scarlett Johansson knows how to sing? And can do it without embarrassing herself ala Paris Hilton? Apparently so, or at least, she’s going to give it the ol college try. Johansson’s desire to put out her own musical album of Tom Waits cover (”Anywhere I Lay My Head” is the title of a Waits song from his 1985 album “Rain Dogs”) back in 2006, so I guess this is just the culmination of that. But seriously, Scarlett Johansson sings? This I gotta hear. Some promos from her album below.
A Date with Scarlett Johansson is Currently Worth a Lousy $8,200
4 March 2008
You would think attending a red carpet movie premiere with Scarlett Johansson as your date would be worth more than a lousy $8,200, but apparently not. (Or at least, at the time of this posting.) With eight days left and 61 bids later, a date with the Oscar nominated actress (I think she was nominated for an Oscar; I could be wrong; what am I, the Oscar expert or something?), will currently run you $8,200. It will probably go up higher than that — there are still eight days left to bid, after all. How much do you think it’ll cost? $20,000? $100,000? Remember, your bid will be going to a good cause, one of them fancy charities and such. Head below for the details.
Natalie Portman vs. Scarlett Johansson in The Boleyn Girl
29 February 2008
It’s Natalie Portman versus Scarlett Johansson — who ya got??? Well, okay, it’s pretty obvious who you should want to “get”, or at least I think it’s pretty obvious. But I gotta admit, who ever did the photography and make-up on “The Boleyn Girl” sure did a good job making Natalie Portman look actually attractive. Now I’m not saying she’s not attractive, but normally if you put Scarlett Johansson and Portman side-by-side, Scarlett comes out the winner every time, but you wouldn’t necessarily be able to say that in this movie. In the film, Eric Bana’s character has to choose between the two sisters, played by Scarlett and Natalie. WHO YA GOT???
Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian and Threesome Scenes in Vicky Cristina Barcelona?
8 February 2008
Wait, there is a steamy lesbian encounter between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s latest, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”? And then later the two engage in a threesome with Javier Bardem? Hot damn! This may just be the first Woody Allen movie I voluntarily go to see in, like, EVER. At least, if this report in the New York Post turns out to be true. “A source tells us: “It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.” The women later have a threesome with Javier Bardem.” So, uh, when does this movie open again?
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30 July 2009