Sports Babe of the Day: Sarah Burke
Maybe I’m still on an Summer Olympics kick, but I’m still feeling the hot athletes out there, and I get this bad feeling I don’t know nearly enough of them. So, with that in mind, I went back in time a little bit (yes, I have a time machine, it runs on cheeseburgers, what of it?) to the Winter Olympics, and found Sarah Burke, a free skier from Canada who showed off her, er, assets in FHM way back in 2006. Now I don’t know if that awesome rack of Sarah Burke’s helps or hinders her when she’s doing her skiing thing, but you know where it doesn’t hurt? In my fantasies. It doesn’t hurt there at bit. In fact, it helps. A lot. Check out Sarah Burke, our Sports Babe of the Day.
Sports Babe of the Day: Isabel Swan
Our Sports Babe of the Day is a little lovely lass from Brazil name Isabel Swan. She’s a sailor. Yes, a sailor. Now I don’t know if being a sailor actually qualifies as being an athlete, or someone who participates in “sport”, but when you look this good in your bikini, is there really a point in arguing about the merits of said sport (or not a sport)? I didn’t think so. According to her Wikipedia page, Isabel Swan, besides being quite the babe, recently won a bronze medal in 470 class at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. You can probably betcha that she was the best looking thing on a boat during that race. Am I right or am I right? (Unless, of course, I was also in the race, but I think that goes without saying. Ahem.)
Sports Babe of the Day: Franziska van Almsick
Remember all those jokes about German swimmers at the Olympics? About how they were so pumped full of steroids that they looked more like men? Well you can throw that out of the water (get it? German swimmers? water? Oh man, I rock), because here’s former German Olympics swimmer Franziska van Almsick, and she is smoking hot. Also, check out the tramp stamp. Big, huh? You know what they say about women with huge tramp stamps. That’s right — if you write them letters professing your love, they’ll buy you breakfast. Good, tasty breakfast, at that! So start writing, kids! But I digress. Our Sports Babe of the Day is Franziska van Almsick. Me likey!
Sports Babe(s) of the Day: Misty May and Kerri Walsh
The only time I ever watched the Olympics live is during the basketball games, and every time I run across Misty May and Kerri Walsh tearing it up on the beach volleyball events. Let me tell you, you won’t find two hotter women with insane skills on the beach than these two. Besides looking good at the Beijing Olympics, they were also became the first beach volleyball gold medal winners to repeat at the Olympics. I mean, NO ONE has done that before, but then again, no one is not Misty May and Kerri Walsh. Word is they may semi-retire and start a family post-Olympics, but here’s hoping they show up again in London four years from now and beat the crap out of the world once again. Misty May and Kerri Walsh is our Sports Babes of the Day.
Sports Babe of the Day: Leryn Franco
When talking about our Sports Babe of the Day Leryn Franco, I could go the lame route and say something like, “Man, Leryn Franco is so hot, she can handle MY javelin any day!” But of course, that would be crude, and totally unoriginal. Not to mention so lacking in creativity that I might just shoot myself. Having said that — wow, Leryn Franco is so friggin’ hot, she can handle MY javelin any day! Yup, it’s another hot sports woman, this time Leryn Franco from Paraguay, wherever that is. (I think it’s in Sweden or something.) She’s an Olympics-class javelin thrower, and a world-class beauty, competing in both the Miss Paraguay and Miss Bikini Universe pageants. She didn’t win, though, which makes you wonder: Good God, how hot were the women who DID win if this is the woman that DIDN’T win???
Sports Babe(s) of the Day: Jennie Finch and Cat Osterman
Let’s give it up to the girls of USA Softball, huh? Sure, the only reason I ever stop myself from turning the channel everytime I stumble across a girl’s softball game on ESPN is because, uh, the pitchers are usually so friggin awesome to gawk at. Really, I don’t know of any other sport where the main center of attention (the pitchers) always seem to have such perfect combination of physical talent and superficial attractiveness. Anyways, the USA Softball gals have been struck quite a blow, first having their sport being yanked from the Olympics, and then losing the final Olympics game they are able to compete in to Japan earlier today. I saw screw you, Olympics! Give me my Cat Osterman and Jennie Finch over frakkin’ synchronized diving any day. Seriously, synchronized diving? Guys riding around on horses? TRAMPOLINE GYMASTICS??? And they decide that softball, an ACTUAL sport, isn’t worth keeping? Retards.
Sports Babe of the Day: Natalie Coughlin
Man, I love the Olympics. The Summer Olympics, anyway. The Winter Olympics has its moments, but let’s face it, there’s only so many cute skater girls you can latch onto before the whole thing gets kinda tedious and boring as all heck. But the Summer Olympics? Man, there are babes aplenty over there. One of them is up and coming swimming diva Natalie Coughlin. I think she’s won some medals over there — some gold, some silver, and some bronze — and is destined to be a pretty big presence in the 2012 Summer Olympics. I think that’s being held in London. Or maybe Mars. You know, one of those places. Anyways, Natalie Coughlin is definitely one swimmer I’d like to jump into the pool with. Yes, even if the fat kid pees in it. Screw you, fat kid, Natalie Coughlin is worth it!
Sports Babe of the Day: Yelena Isinbayeva
Our Sports Babe of the Day is Yelena Isinbayeva, another Beijing 2008 Olympian known for her ability to grab a big, tall pole and catapult herself really, really high into the air and over a white bar someone had, for some reason, put up there in the air. Hey, I don’t know what all this stuff is, I’m not exactly a jock, you know. Anyways, we admire Yelena Isinbayeva for her ability to be babelicious while still showing off tighter abs than Brad Pitt is able to produce at his peak, and the dude was pretty ripped, if you’ve seen “Thelma and Louise”. Yelena Isinbayeva, on the other hand, puts him to shame. She can grab my pole and use it to fling herself into the air anytime. Actually, maybe that might hurt a little…
Sports Babe of the Day: Dara Torres
Don’t let the age fool ya (she’s 41!), because our Sports Babe of the Day Dara Torres is all babe. The United States Olympics class swimmer is a mother, and she just made history by becoming the oldest woman (again, 41!) to win a medal at the Olympic games. And not just ONE medal, at that, our babelicious swimmer took home THREE medals. Yeah, they were all silvers, and she missed out on Gold, but come on, how many silver medals from the Olympics have YOU won, and you probably aren’t even 41 years old like her. Man, you suck, and Dara Torres rocks. Plus, anyone who can pull off those kinds of abs at 41, and after a child? Much props to them.
Sports Babe of the Day: Lisa Moretti
Love those wrasslin’ girls of the WWE. Who doesn’t? If you’re not man enough to appreciate hot chicks with big muscles, then those fake racks should just about do it. Mind you, you can’t really blame the WWE girls for pumping up those puppies with the help of a nice fine doctor, especially since no one minds. Well, unless you were being beaten with them, I mean, then you might mind. But otherwise, nope, not a one. Here’s Lisa Moretti, formerly known as Ivory on the WWE circuit. I think they call girls like Lisa Moretti Divas on the show. She was active from 1999 to 2005, but after leaving wrasslin’, has been working in, of all places, landscaping. I shit you not.
Sports Babe of the Day: Melina Perez
Let’s face it, if you don’t think the WWE Divas are actual athletes, you’ve never seen a wrestling show. The things they make these girls do for the sake of entertaining your toothless next door neighbor, you wouldn’t believe. And yes, those muscles they’re sporting? Those probably helps to battle away the pain, because these ladies bring the pain, indeedy. So here’s Melina Perez, one of the WWE Divas. I don’t know why they call them divas, but you know, you don’t want to start arguing with these ladies, especially when they come at you. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all…
Sports Babe of the Day: Caroline Pearce
Our Sports Babe of the Day comes from Britain, and her name is Caroline Pearce, and yes, she is incredibly hot. A former bobsledder and heptathlete (that’s someone who completes in the heptathlon, in case you don’t habla), the physically incredible blonde babe was chosen out of 20,000 contestants to beat the crap out of everyday people in the newly revived American Gladiators TV show when it returns for its second season on NBC. Caroline’s character on the show will be Ice, but I’ll tell you what, there is nothing icy about this drop-dead gorgeous beauty.
Sports Babe of the Day: Carolina Kostner
It’s not every day you find a female figure skater worth ogling. Usually they’re tiny little bundles of energy, more jailbait that hottie, but our Sports Babe of the Day, Italy’s Carolina Kostner has changed all that. The 21-year old is a two-time European skating champ (2007 and 2008) and in her spare time she likes to slip on the two-piece bikini that bears the colors of her country’s flag. See, you can be patriotic and hot at the same time, kids! Bonus FYI: Carolina was the flag bearer for the Italian team during the opening ceremony of the 2006 Winter Olympics. Carolina Kostner bikini goodness. Please to enjoy. Or as the Italians say, “Carolina Kostner in a bikini! Please to enjoy!”
Sports Babe of the Day: Marina Katic
As far as I can tell (and really, it’s limited at best), our Sports Babe of the Day, one Marina Katic, is a volleyball player on the Croatian women’s national team, but as you can see from the pics, the girl could ditch the tight (oh so tight) shorts of the volleyball game and hop onto the runways of fashion shows without missing a beat. A gorgeous face is the product of healthy genes, while the stunning body is clearly the result of jumping up and down and hitting a white ball one time too many. Speaking of which, Marina Katic can spike me anytime. And yes, I know that doesn’t make sense, but, er, just go with it.
Sports Babe of the Day: Ana Ivanovic
Seriously, when did tennis players start looking better than some models? I swear, if girls like Ana Ivanovic were around playing tennis back in the day (which was, according to Dane Cook, a Tuesday, by the way — or was it Wednesday), I would have paid more attention to tennis back in high school instead of, you know, goofing off. And of course by goofing off I mean sitting in the corner waiting to be picked, but never getting picked, all because they’re jealous of my skills. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Anyhoo, here are some pictures of Belgrade’s hottest tennis player Ana Ivanovic doing something looking very good. Yum. Belgrade hotties. They go great with butter.
Sports Babe of the Day: Irina Slutskaya
Our Sports Babe of the Day is Russian skater Irina Slutskaya, who I always thought was a bit of a sore thumb on the ice, being sexy and whatnot in a sport full of 12-year old kids with squeaky voices and 12-year old boy bodies. Wait, did I just admit that I watch woman’s figure skating? Um, because you know, I don’t. I’m way too manly for figure skating. I mean, come on, everyone knows I’m the manliest man out there, so of course I don’t watch woman’s figure skating. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Please to enjoy some Irina Slutskaya in some Russian magazine.
Sports Babe of the Day: Agnieszka Rylik
Our Sports Babe of the Day is Polish chick boxer Agnieszka Rylik, who, like a lot of sports athletes who show up in our Sports Babe of the Day column, has a face that could use a little bit more time in the make-up chair, but the rest of her combined more than makes up for the rough looks. What I’m trying to say is, the girl has a tight body (as the kids would say) and what’s hotter than a girl with a hot body who can kick your ass if you don’t please her just right? That’s right, Agnieszka Rylik is that kind of hot. Take her in or she’ll beat the hell out of you.
Sports Babe of the Day: Anni Friesinger
Our Sports Babe of the Day is Anni Friesinger, a four-time Olympic Gold medalist in speed skating, who hails from Germany, which probably explains why Anni Friesinger has one smoking hot body, but a face that could, well, use some work. But hey, she’s an athlete, and although you wouldn’t exactly call her naturally beautiful, that body could definitely go for days on end and never get tired, especially considering that she’s a speed skater, and those gals know how to get started fast and hard and keep going and going and going… Um, I need a cold shower. Please to enjoy Anni Friesinger in her skivvies.
Sports Babe of the Day: Alexandra Beres
I don’t know about you, but when I think “super sexy sports athletes”, I immediately think of curling. What? You don’t? Oh come on, you know it’s true! The long, sleek ice lanes, the big, giant balls that the girls have to hurl — er, I mean, where was? Oh right. Our latest Sports Babe of the Day is Hungarian curler Alexandra Beres, who besides throwing around giant, heavy balls on the ice, is also a fitness model, which explains the tight, athletic body she’s sporting in these pictures. Say what you will, but the combination of those feminine muscles and lingerie works for me. Then again, I’m funny that way.
Sports Babe of the Day: Agnes Kovacs
When a female athlete decides to pose in a two-piece bikini in a men’s magazine like FHM, you can practically guarantee two things: the girl is going to be attractive, and there is nothing that’s going to stop that body of hers from slammin’ the hell out of her appearance. For my money, nothing can beat an attractive athletic girl, and swimmers have gotten to be some of the most dependable sports babes out there. The latest is Agnes Kovacs, a championship winning swimmer who hails from Hungary, where all great swimmers come from. Right? Um, probably not, but Agnes Kovacs comes from there, and she’s great — or at least, really great to look at.