You know what I don’t get about people who win, say, the Olympics or anything that involves them getting a gold prize, when they bite it for the camera? I don’t get that. What are they doing, testing to see the gold is real or something? And can you really tell by biting it? I’m just saying. Anyways, our Sports Babe of the Day is Italian foil fencer Margherita Granbassi. She’s not what you would call traditionally beautiful, but she’s got a hell of a great body and any woman who can stab me through the heart before I can get a chance to hit on her is hot in my book.
17 March 2009
You ever wonder what female race drivers wear under those ugly one-piece overalls that they’re forced to wear when they drive in their fancy racing cars or whatever it is those things that go vroom vroom around the circle thingie are called? Apparently it’s lacy underwear. Hey, beats wearing boxers and those soccer undershirt thingies that women who play soccer wear, right? Okay, so I don’t know what I’m talking about. Whatever. Here’s our Sports Babe of the Day, Swiss race car driver Christina Surer. Has she actually won a race? No idea. She looks good in lacy underwear, though, and really that’s all I care about.
25 February 2009
Sure, there are a lot of reasons to watch mixed martial arts fighting. You got your fighting, which is always good for a sit-down, and you got your blood, which is a must have, and there is the drama of seeing if one guy can pound the other guy’s face into a flat mush of meat and bones covered in blood. Okay, kind of gory. But you know it ain’t ballet, right? Another reason to watch MMA fighting? Gina Carano. Of course you already know that by now. I don’t even know if Gina Carano still does MMA fighting, since she seems to have gone into acting and TV now, what with the American Gladiator stuff and modeling she’s been doing. Here she is in Maxim, reminding you again why chicks who can beat you up are kinda hot.
11 February 2009
Because they love tennis so much, the blokes over at Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue have decided to gather up the three hottest tennis players on the circuit and have them pose in a bikini on a beach. Because, you know, they really care about women’s tennis and what have you. And if not, eh, don’t start complaining now, lest you keep them from doing it again next year. But maybe this time they could go with the girls who do those extreme sports. A lot of them are pretty hot, and it sure would be nice to see what’s going on underneath all that winter gear. But anyways, let’s start with the SI Tennis Babes that are featured this year, starting with a woman familiar to us, Slovak tennis player Daniela Hantuchova.
5 February 2009
Here that? That’s the sound of tall, lean, fast-moving woman with ponytails grunting unnaturally, which can only mean one thing: female tennis is back, baby! Okay, so maybe the game never really stops, and just keeps going and going all year round, but that’s not going to stop us from finally noticing the sport this week. And you know what that means: yup, it’s another round of Sports Babe of the Day. This time the babe in question is Iveta Benesova, one of those tall, lean, midriff baring specimens of the WTA that makes you want to pick up a tennis racket and pretend to play, so she’d notice you and want to jump your bones. Hey, it could happen. Some pictures of the Czechoslovakian beauty hitting a yellow ball around. It had it coming, Iveta. Smash it!
4 January 2009
As I am wont to do, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if the wrestling divas are actually athletes, or more like models-slash-actors. And of course by “a lot of time” I mean I just went through the pro and cons a few seconds ago, and have decided, yes, I think the wrestling divas do qualify as athletes, and thus, they belong in our Sports Babe of the Day. Because, you know, I know people stay up late at nights waiting for me to make this very important decision, so here it is. Anyways, our Sports Babe of the Day is one Lilian Garcia, a ring announcer for the WWE brand who occasionally puts down the microphone to kick some ass. You go, girl.
13 November 2008
Maybe I’m still on an Summer Olympics kick, but I’m still feeling the hot athletes out there, and I get this bad feeling I don’t know nearly enough of them. So, with that in mind, I went back in time a little bit (yes, I have a time machine, it runs on cheeseburgers, what of it?) to the Winter Olympics, and found Sarah Burke, a free skier from Canada who showed off her, er, assets in FHM way back in 2006. Now I don’t know if that awesome rack of Sarah Burke’s helps or hinders her when she’s doing her skiing thing, but you know where it doesn’t hurt? In my fantasies. It doesn’t hurt there at bit. In fact, it helps. A lot. Check out Sarah Burke, our Sports Babe of the Day.
3 October 2008
Our Sports Babe of the Day is a little lovely lass from Brazil name Isabel Swan. She’s a sailor. Yes, a sailor. Now I don’t know if being a sailor actually qualifies as being an athlete, or someone who participates in “sport”, but when you look this good in your bikini, is there really a point in arguing about the merits of said sport (or not a sport)? I didn’t think so. According to her Wikipedia page, Isabel Swan, besides being quite the babe, recently won a bronze medal in 470 class at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. You can probably betcha that she was the best looking thing on a boat during that race. Am I right or am I right? (Unless, of course, I was also in the race, but I think that goes without saying. Ahem.)
29 September 2008
Remember all those jokes about German swimmers at the Olympics? About how they were so pumped full of steroids that they looked more like men? Well you can throw that out of the water (get it? German swimmers? water? Oh man, I rock), because here’s former German Olympics swimmer Franziska van Almsick, and she is smoking hot. Also, check out the tramp stamp. Big, huh? You know what they say about women with huge tramp stamps. That’s right — if you write them letters professing your love, they’ll buy you breakfast. Good, tasty breakfast, at that! So start writing, kids! But I digress. Our Sports Babe of the Day is Franziska van Almsick. Me likey!
26 August 2008
The only time I ever watched the Olympics live is during the basketball games, and every time I run across Misty May and Kerri Walsh tearing it up on the beach volleyball events. Let me tell you, you won’t find two hotter women with insane skills on the beach than these two. Besides looking good at the Beijing Olympics, they were also became the first beach volleyball gold medal winners to repeat at the Olympics. I mean, NO ONE has done that before, but then again, no one is not Misty May and Kerri Walsh. Word is they may semi-retire and start a family post-Olympics, but here’s hoping they show up again in London four years from now and beat the crap out of the world once again. Misty May and Kerri Walsh is our Sports Babes of the Day.
22 August 2008
When talking about our Sports Babe of the Day Leryn Franco, I could go the lame route and say something like, “Man, Leryn Franco is so hot, she can handle MY javelin any day!” But of course, that would be crude, and totally unoriginal. Not to mention so lacking in creativity that I might just shoot myself. Having said that — wow, Leryn Franco is so friggin’ hot, she can handle MY javelin any day! Yup, it’s another hot sports woman, this time Leryn Franco from Paraguay, wherever that is. (I think it’s in Sweden or something.) She’s an Olympics-class javelin thrower, and a world-class beauty, competing in both the Miss Paraguay and Miss Bikini Universe pageants. She didn’t win, though, which makes you wonder: Good God, how hot were the women who DID win if this is the woman that DIDN’T win???
21 August 2008
Let’s give it up to the girls of USA Softball, huh? Sure, the only reason I ever stop myself from turning the channel everytime I stumble across a girl’s softball game on ESPN is because, uh, the pitchers are usually so friggin awesome to gawk at. Really, I don’t know of any other sport where the main center of attention (the pitchers) always seem to have such perfect combination of physical talent and superficial attractiveness. Anyways, the USA Softball gals have been struck quite a blow, first having their sport being yanked from the Olympics, and then losing the final Olympics game they are able to compete in to Japan earlier today. I saw screw you, Olympics! Give me my Cat Osterman and Jennie Finch over frakkin’ synchronized diving any day. Seriously, synchronized diving? Guys riding around on horses? TRAMPOLINE GYMASTICS??? And they decide that softball, an ACTUAL sport, isn’t worth keeping? Retards.
20 August 2008
Man, I love the Olympics. The Summer Olympics, anyway. The Winter Olympics has its moments, but let’s face it, there’s only so many cute skater girls you can latch onto before the whole thing gets kinda tedious and boring as all heck. But the Summer Olympics? Man, there are babes aplenty over there. One of them is up and coming swimming diva Natalie Coughlin. I think she’s won some medals over there — some gold, some silver, and some bronze — and is destined to be a pretty big presence in the 2012 Summer Olympics. I think that’s being held in London. Or maybe Mars. You know, one of those places. Anyways, Natalie Coughlin is definitely one swimmer I’d like to jump into the pool with. Yes, even if the fat kid pees in it. Screw you, fat kid, Natalie Coughlin is worth it!
19 August 2008
Our Sports Babe of the Day is Yelena Isinbayeva, another Beijing 2008 Olympian known for her ability to grab a big, tall pole and catapult herself really, really high into the air and over a white bar someone had, for some reason, put up there in the air. Hey, I don’t know what all this stuff is, I’m not exactly a jock, you know. Anyways, we admire Yelena Isinbayeva for her ability to be babelicious while still showing off tighter abs than Brad Pitt is able to produce at his peak, and the dude was pretty ripped, if you’ve seen “Thelma and Louise”. Yelena Isinbayeva, on the other hand, puts him to shame. She can grab my pole and use it to fling herself into the air anytime. Actually, maybe that might hurt a little…
17 August 2008
Don’t let the age fool ya (she’s 41!), because our Sports Babe of the Day Dara Torres is all babe. The United States Olympics class swimmer is a mother, and she just made history by becoming the oldest woman (again, 41!) to win a medal at the Olympic games. And not just ONE medal, at that, our babelicious swimmer took home THREE medals. Yeah, they were all silvers, and she missed out on Gold, but come on, how many silver medals from the Olympics have YOU won, and you probably aren’t even 41 years old like her. Man, you suck, and Dara Torres rocks. Plus, anyone who can pull off those kinds of abs at 41, and after a child? Much props to them.
17 July 2008
Love those wrasslin’ girls of the WWE. Who doesn’t? If you’re not man enough to appreciate hot chicks with big muscles, then those fake racks should just about do it. Mind you, you can’t really blame the WWE girls for pumping up those puppies with the help of a nice fine doctor, especially since no one minds. Well, unless you were being beaten with them, I mean, then you might mind. But otherwise, nope, not a one. Here’s Lisa Moretti, formerly known as Ivory on the WWE circuit. I think they call girls like Lisa Moretti Divas on the show. She was active from 1999 to 2005, but after leaving wrasslin’, has been working in, of all places, landscaping. I shit you not.
1 July 2008
Let’s face it, if you don’t think the WWE Divas are actual athletes, you’ve never seen a wrestling show. The things they make these girls do for the sake of entertaining your toothless next door neighbor, you wouldn’t believe. And yes, those muscles they’re sporting? Those probably helps to battle away the pain, because these ladies bring the pain, indeedy. So here’s Melina Perez, one of the WWE Divas. I don’t know why they call them divas, but you know, you don’t want to start arguing with these ladies, especially when they come at you. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all…
10 April 2008
Our Sports Babe of the Day comes from Britain, and her name is Caroline Pearce, and yes, she is incredibly hot. A former bobsledder and heptathlete (that’s someone who completes in the heptathlon, in case you don’t habla), the physically incredible blonde babe was chosen out of 20,000 contestants to beat the crap out of everyday people in the newly revived American Gladiators TV show when it returns for its second season on NBC. Caroline’s character on the show will be Ice, but I’ll tell you what, there is nothing icy about this drop-dead gorgeous beauty.
10 March 2008
It’s not every day you find a female figure skater worth ogling. Usually they’re tiny little bundles of energy, more jailbait that hottie, but our Sports Babe of the Day, Italy’s Carolina Kostner has changed all that. The 21-year old is a two-time European skating champ (2007 and 2008) and in her spare time she likes to slip on the two-piece bikini that bears the colors of her country’s flag. See, you can be patriotic and hot at the same time, kids! Bonus FYI: Carolina was the flag bearer for the Italian team during the opening ceremony of the 2006 Winter Olympics. Carolina Kostner bikini goodness. Please to enjoy. Or as the Italians say, “Carolina Kostner in a bikini! Please to enjoy!”
2 March 2008
As far as I can tell (and really, it’s limited at best), our Sports Babe of the Day, one Marina Katic, is a volleyball player on the Croatian women’s national team, but as you can see from the pics, the girl could ditch the tight (oh so tight) shorts of the volleyball game and hop onto the runways of fashion shows without missing a beat. A gorgeous face is the product of healthy genes, while the stunning body is clearly the result of jumping up and down and hitting a white ball one time too many. Speaking of which, Marina Katic can spike me anytime. And yes, I know that doesn’t make sense, but, er, just go with it.
8 April 2009