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Amateur Parkour Best of Compilation

30 August 2007

So what is parkour? Well I’m sure Wikipedia or the dictionary have their own descriptions for it, but from what I know, it’s basically urban hopping. Or, to be even more succinct, it’s getting all Jackie Chan with your urban environment. Basically, athletic guys do crazy jumps, leaps, and kicks on a given environment, regardless of what is there, or what isn’t. It’s like acrobatics, except if you fall you can crack your head into concrete instead of, you know, soft mats. That’s for sissies. Guys who do parker are basically insane, which is what makes it so fun to watch. Check out this “best of” video compilation.

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Maria Sharapova is Red Hot at the U.S. Open

30 August 2007

And here I thought players weren’t allowed to wear anything other than a lame drab white wardrobe when they were on the tennis court. That must have been a Wimbledon thing, oh well. Anyways, Maria Sharapova was looking red hot (literally) on the court of the U.S. Open last Tuesday, when she took only a measly 50 minutes to take out her opponent, Roberta Vinci of Italy 6-0, 6-1. The second-seeded Maria Shrapova, who won the U.S. Open last year, now heads into the second round to await her next victim — er, I mean, opponent. Is there any doubt Maria is going to take her second U.S. Open crown in a roll? And if she doesn’t, hey, we should just give her one anyway, but maybe that’s just me.

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Best Boxing Knock Out … Ever?

24 August 2007

This is, quite possibly, one of the best knock outs I’ve ever seen in a boxing match. The guy just takes one on the chin and his head snaps and his knees just drops like a ton of bricks. If you didn’t see it up close and in slow motion, you’d swear the guy getting knocked out was taking a dive. But nope — he actually does take one to the chin and goes down as a result. Just an excellent smackdown. I don’t even know who the boxers are, but man, I don’t know whether to be impressed with the guy delivering the blow or be disgusted by the guy taking it. You decide.

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Best Soccer Goal … Ever?

21 August 2007

Is this the best soccer goal kick ever? Possibly. It’s pretty damn impressive, that’s for sure, especially considering the distance of the boy being served the the scorer. But what I’d like to know is who is the total dumbass standing in front of the goal, and what the heck is he supposed to be doing besides standing there like a slack-jawed yokel (and even that is insulting slack-jawed yokels everywhere) when the ball was being served? I don’t know if this is the case of a fantastic goal or the case of a really, really, REALLY bad goalie. I mean we’re talking about a live game here. This isn’t practice or kids goofing around. Dude, what were you doing, fantasizing about Angelina Jolie???

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Boxer vs. the Fight’s Ref — WHO YA GOT???

17 August 2007

This has got to be one of the funnier things I’ve ever seen. So there’s a boxing match between, from the looks of it, two lightweights (small dudes). They go in for a clinch, so the ref, a giant, hulking dude, literally throws one of the boxers into the corner and gives him a slap across the headgear. The boxer doesn’t like that and shoves the ref back, and then it’s on! The ref grabs the small boxer guy and starts wailing on him! I mean, come on, this is kind of ridiculous. You go in for a fight and you end up having to fight the ref, too? Hilarious!

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Antwan Barnes Cheap Shot at Punter Sav Rocca

15 August 2007

The thing about preseason games is, they don’t mean anything. The scores are purely cosmetic. But they mean EVERYTHING to the guys trying to make the team. Which probably explains why former Florida International linebacker Antwan Barnes, playing for the Baltimore Ravens, put a vicious cheap shot at Philadelphia Eagles punter Sav Rocca, who had just delivered a booming 65 yard punt from the end of his own endzone. Basically, an amazing feat. So while Rocca is jogging off the field, Barnes comes at him from behind and delivers a helmet-to-helmet blow to Rocca, basically flattening him. It was an obvious cheap shot, and what’s more, very dangerous. There is a reason why the NFL fines you out of the ass for hitting someone with your helmet — those thing are heavy and tough and they can shatter bone. Here’s the video of the cheap shot, and I love the commentary by the guys in the booth. Right on.

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Barry Bonds Hits Home Run #756 to Break HR Record

10 August 2007

I’ve been hesitant about making this Barry Bonds posting. On the one hand, I think he doesn’t really deserve the home run record, but on the other hand — well, he did hit it, despite all the pressures from the world rooting AGAINST him. Maybe it’s the San Francisco crowd that continues to pump him up, but the guy did take all the weight of the world and still went out and did his job, so in that respect you gotta give him SOME props. Anyways, here’s the video of Barry Bonds hitting home run #756 to break Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. As a person, he’s still a total douche bag, but as a baseball player, well, he’s got skills, steroids or not.

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Pop Warner Football Wunderkind Cody Paul Highlight Reel

9 August 2007

So there’s this kid name Cody Paul (some say he’s 11, others 12, and still others 13) who plays Pop Warner football, who is so frakkin’ good that he’s approached near legend status on the web, with a video highlight of his runs pasted on hundreds of sites. The thing is? This kid is really, really REALLY good. If you appreciate football, and if you know how hard it is to run through a D-line, you’ll give this kid all the props he can handle, because he’s THAT good. Check out all of his punt returns. Holy mother. If this kid continues to develop as he gets older — bloody hell, I don’t even want to imagine how good he’ll be. Behold, the growing legend of Cody Paul! And here’s the shocker — HE’S WHITE!!!

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Michael Vick Chew Toy for Dogs

8 August 2007

Hey, kids, wanna buy something for your doggie to chew on? Try a Michael Vick chew toy for dogs! That’s right, Michael Vick hasn’t exactly been man’s best friend (he-yo!), so why not let your dog take bite out of his ass and see how he likes it? Well now you can. Some entrepreneur has created a Michael Vick Chew Toy for dogs. It’s just Michael Vick standing around in Falcons uniform sans helmet. I wonder how long before they the Atlanta Falcons or the NFL shut this guy down? Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, right? I found a picture of the chew toy from some guy selling it on Ebay. If you head over there now, you’ll see a ton of these on sale.

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Video: Vince Young vs. Donnie Nickey in Titans Camp

3 August 2007

So it’s Titans spring training camp, and ex-Ohio State dork Donnie Nickey thinks the way to “play hard” in spring camp is to nearly break his wide receiver’s neck in a tackle. Mind you, this is JUST PRACTICE, and they’re ON THE SAME TEAM. So Vince Young gets in his grill and bitch slaps his dumb ass across the helmet and it’s ON. The whole thing is on ESPN, and this is actually where this video clip comes from. I’m a big fan of VY, and love the way he goes after the idiot. I mean, dude, you’re on the same team! Don’t try to break your teammate’s neck, you dumb meat locker!

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Pete Sampras Inducted into the Tennis Hall of Fame

30 July 2007

I like Pete Sampras. I don’t like a whole lot about tennis (again, that whole “everyone must be quiet” when they serve the ball is retarded), but I like how Sampras played the game. He was a talented and tough SOB and he really just went out there and DID it without fanfare. That works for me. I appreciate that in a professional. Sure, most people liked Agassi and blah blah blah, but give me the substance instead of the flash any day. The 35-year-old Sampras was recently inducted into the Tennis Hall of Fame, which is a given, but the more impressive accomplishment? He nabbed a hot wife in actress Bridgette Wilson, a blond bombshell if there ever was one. I got first serve at Mrs. Pete Sampras!

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Natalie Gulbis Wins her First LPGA Tourney

30 July 2007

You know what they were saying about the LPGA’s only player with sex appeal? (Annika Sorenstam comes close, but I need to see more of her (if you know what I mean) before I can safely say that.) They were calling her the “Anna Kournikova” of golf, meaning of course that she has the looks (and the bikini pictures) but not the titles. Well kiss that label goodbye, suckas. Last Saturday Golfer Natalie Gulbis beat out South Korea’s Jang Jeong to win the hardware at the the Evian Masters, her first major win as well as the biggest purse on the European Tour. Basically, the hot girl who golfs actually CAN golf!

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Houston Texans Rookie Cheerleaders

27 July 2007

It’s tough being a sports fan in any town — well, that’s not true. It’s not all that tough being a sports fan in Boston or New York, despite what those numbskulls will tell you. Those guys actually have teams that WIN every now and then. We don’t even have that in Houston! Our teams are full of talent, but nothing to show for it. The Houston Rockets have never survived through the first round of the playboys since Olajuwon was manning the paint. And the Astros? They finally went to the World Series and got swept. They’re not getting anywhere close to the post-season this year. And finally, of course, there is the Houston Texans. Dear God, what a bad, bad team. Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush or Vince Young, anyone? But take heart, Houston fans. While the Houston Texans rookies won’t be turning your frown upside down, the Houston Texans rookie cheerleaders might. Shake those pom poms, girls!

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Video: MMA Feet to Face Knock-out

25 July 2007

Those guys at Break.com, I swear, I don’t know where they get these crazy videos. (Actually I think people upload them, so the Break.com guys don’t actually do all that much, but never you mind that; never let the facts get in the way of a good gag, I always say. Mind you, not that I talk to myself, but I’m just saying.) Anyhoo. It’s a mixed martial arts cage fight between two guys, then one guy gets kicked in the face and goes down. The guy who did the kicking runs around screaming like a jackass. It’s fun had by all — except for the guy that got kicked in the face, anyway.

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Michael Vick Dog Fighting Case Update

20 July 2007

The more we learn about Michael Vick’s sadistic dogfighting operations, the more despicable the man becomes. Man? I’m being generous. This guy is a monster. Among the more disgusting aspects of Vick’s behavior that has come to light is this: Losing dogs either died in the pit or were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot. I mean, Jesus H. Christ. What kind of man would do THAT? More: Vick and the three associates are set to appear in Richmond July 26 for bond hearings and arraignments on charges contained in a detailed, 18-page indictment. Conviction carries up to six years in prison, fines of $350,000 and restitution. (via)

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Video: When Paintball Goes Wrong

18 July 2007

Paintball is a growing sport that is taking over the world; or at least, my part of the world, and really, isn’t that the really important part? Anyways. If you don’t think paintball is a sport, then you’ve never tried playing paintball in an official skirmish, with teammates and obstacles, and don’t know what kind of strength, agility, skill, and helter skelter mentality it takes to be successful. Then again, you give a paintball gun to two guys, have them stand 10 feet apart, and then take turns shooting each other in the legs and nuts, and you get — this. Um. You know what I said about how paintball is a real sport? It is, but what these guys are doing? It’s just wrong. Funny, but wrong. (P.S. I like how they scream when they get hit; it’s like they’re SHOCKED that it hurts.)

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Michael Vick Indicted for Dog Fighting, Cruelty

18 July 2007

Michael Vick is one dumb sonofabitch. He’s rich beyond his wildest dreams, he lives in a mansion, and he still can’t stop himself from doing dog fighting. Not only is he using his dogs to fight in death cage matches, but the Atlanta Falcons quarterback has supposedly killed some of his dogs that didn’t “prove” themselves enough, or maybe they lost. According to the indictments filed by authorities against Vick and three other associates, “losing dogs either died in the pit or were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot. The indictment said purses climbed as high as $20,000 for fights.” Jesus H. Christ. What is wrong with this guy?

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Taryne Mowatt Grabs Two ESPY Awards

15 July 2007

We crowned Arizona Wildcat softball pitcher Taryne Mowatt as Softball’s newest hottie a while back, and we’re sticking to our guns, especially now that the tall drink of blonde water has nabbed two ESPY Awards at the 2007 ESPY Awards. To watch Taryne accept her two trophies, tune into ESPN on Sunday when the ESPY Awards are aired. Obviously it’s not live, since I’m already telling you (and showing you pictures) of Taryne winning her awards here, now, before the Awards show even airs. And No, I don’t have a time machine. (Or in case I do, I’m not sharing, so stop emailing me!)

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Video: Ichiro Suzuki Hits an Inside-the-Park Homerun at the 2007 All-Star Game

12 July 2007

Can you believe it’s never been done? No one has ever hit an inside-the-park homerun in an All-Star game in major league history. (For those of you who don’t habla baseball parlance, an “inside-the-park homerun” is not really a homerun, but is instead a run scored when a player hits a ball that DOESN’T go out of the park (thus, not technically a “homerun”), but stays in, and the batter manages to score anyway on the same play.) Besides the homerun, Suzuki had 3 hits and took home the game’s MPV trophy. His homerun also helped the AL take another all-star game (and home field advantage in the World Series) from the NL, which is bull crap (not Ichiro’s feat, but the whole “this one counts” nonsense that MLB has been pulling for the last few years), but that’s for another post. Check out Ichiro’s inside-the-park four bagger video below.

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Joey Chestnut Defeats Takeru Kobayashi at Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest

7 July 2007

In case you missed it, the Sports Eating World went through a major milestone on July 4th when American Joey Chestnut defeated Japanese Takeru Kobayashi, finally ending the Japanese superstar’s eating winning spree at Nathan’s Hotdogs. Before Chestnut stepped up to the plate, Kobayashi had tallied six straight victories at Nathan’s, vanquishing one American foe after another. Not so this year! Chestnut devoured 66 hotdogs to Kobayashi’s 63 to take the title. Meanwhile, female eater Sonya Thomas came in 5th with 39. So Joey Chestnut, on behalf of Americans everywhere, thanks for finally winning Nathan’s hotdog eating contest! And as your reward, here’s your lifetime eating disorder and many, many trips to the bathroom. Damn! Them’s a lot of hotdogs, kid!

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