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Candice Michelle is the New WWE Women’s Champ

5 July 2007

If you haven’t been watching wrestling lately, you’ve been missing out, because there are some hot, hot, HOT divas running around the ring nowadays. One of them is Candice Michelle, former Godaddy girl and Playboy Playmate, and now WWE Diva, who just won the WWE’s Women’s Championship by beating Melina at the Vengeance: Night of Champions pay-per-view event held late last month. Here’s Candice showing off her great assets, and by “assets” I of course mean her championship belt. What did you think I meant? Keep your mind out of the gutter, you dirty bastard. Remember, Candice can throw one mean roundhouse kick, so you better watch out!

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Videos: The Death Touch Actually Exists?

3 July 2007

Is this guy serious? This fat, bloated Steven Seagal-wannabe has the power of the Death Touch? Basically yeah, according to this actual Chicago news report. Well, okay, maybe not. But the reporter kinda looked convinced. Personally, I think it’s all crap, but judge for yourself. (And by “crap” I mean, “Please don’t come to my house and use the Death Touch on me, Oh Great Bloated Kung Fu Master”.) Now that that’s out of the way, this is pure crap. Personally, I prefer a gun. Death Touch this!

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Natalie Gulbis has LPGA Golf (Sex) Appeal

2 July 2007

If you ask me (and I know nobody did, except for that kid in Nicaragua named Pedro) golf blows. The only people who plays golf are rich old white guys and, um, rich retired black athletes and some dude name Tiger Woods. (I hear he’s pretty good or something, who knows, who cares.) But anyways, want a reason to watch golf? And not just any golf but, WOMEN’S golf? Well here it is, kids. Her name is Natalie Gulbis, and besides swinging clubs (I think that’s what they call them) on the golf course, Natalie poses in bikinis for calendars and magazines like FHM. She also writes a golf column for FHM, but we aren’t concerned about columns today. Unless, of course, you’re talking about the column of Natalie Gulbis’ hotness.

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Tatiana Golovin’s Red Underwear vs. Wimbledon — WHO YA GOT??

2 July 2007

Nineteen year old French tennis chick Tatiana Golovin likes her red underwear. She really, really likes it, even though it’s not even an actual underwear if you ask me. More like a very short short. But I digress. Tatiana Golovin is causing something of a stir over the All-England Club (i.e. Wimbledon), where she has worn red underwear underneath her tennis uniform anyway despite rules that specifically call for “predominantly white” clothes to be worn on the court. As you can see from the pictures below, that underwear, well, ain’t white, or “predominantly” white. She’s not exactly the second coming of Maria Sharapova, but we still like her, if only because she rebelled against stuffy England. Yeah, take that, Brits!

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Houston Astros Craig Biggio Joins the 3,000 Hits Club

29 June 2007

You can’t live in Houston without knowing who Craig Biggio is. And you can’t live in Houston and be a sports fan without worshiping the ground Craig Biggio walks on. Why? Because baseball has never seen a tougher, scrappier, and more loyal player in its history. Craig doesn’t try, Craig GRINDS because he knows no other way to play the game. Craig Biggio came to The Show as an Astro, and 20 years later, he’s still an Astro. And last night, against the Colorado Rockies, Craig nailed his 3,000th hit. Well actually he later nailed his 3,001st hit as well, but it’s that 3,000 hit that put Craig in elite company, becoming only the 27th player in baseball history to rack up 3,000 hits in his playing career. Craig nailed his milestone hit off Rockies pitcher Aaron Cook, but got thrown out trying to stretch the hit into a double. The irony? The guy who threw Biggio out was Willie Tavares, a longtime Astro who was just traded to the Rockies this year! As the color commentary guy said, “I guess Willie didn’t get a copy of the script.”

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Former NBA Star Shawn Kemp Was Involved with Bobby Cutts Jr.’s Ex

27 June 2007

If you’re a sports fan, or know your NBA, then the name “Shawn Kemp” will immediately be familiar to you. The former Seattle Supersonics great was easily one of the greatest players in the NBA during his peak. If you’ve seen this guy play in the ’90s, you can’t help but be shocked by his sudden disappearance from the NBA in 2002, thanks to problems with cocaine and alcohol abuse. Now Kemp’s name has come up in the Ohio double murder of Jessie Davis, the pregnant woman and her unborn baby whose murder have been blamed on former police officer Bobby Cutts Jr. Apparently Kemp was seeing Cutts’ ex Nikki Giavasis after the two split up, and Kemp was present in Giavasis’ home when Cutts was charged with breaking into it.

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Rockets Center Yao Ming to Marry Ye Li!

25 June 2007

Can it be? Is the gentle giant finally going to tie the knot and produce (one presumes) little bouncy 7-foot tall todders? Possibly. A Chinese site claims that Houston Rockets manager Daryl Morey has said that Yao Ming and Ye Li, a fellow basketball star on the Chinese women’s national team, will tie the knot sometime in August when the duo have finished their respective commitments. (Yao to the Houston Rockets, and Li to the Chinese National Team.) I’m not sure how big (tall) Ye Li is, but from the picture of the two of them together (below), they’re gonna produce giant babies! (Well, tall ones, anyway.)

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Sammy Sosa Hits Homerun #600 Against Cubs

21 June 2007

Sammy Sosa hit his 600th homerun last night, while the Chicago Cubs were in town. The problem was that Sosa was wearing a Texas Rangers uniform, and the Cubs got to see what it felt like to watch Sosa bash a ball out of the stadium. It’s so ironic and poetic at the same time, definitely one of those things that if this was in a movie, you’d leave the theater feeling cheated because it was so cliche. But there it was — in live color, and REAL LIFE. The Cubs threw Sosa away like a pile of unwashed clothes when he was no longer good enough for them, despite all that he had done for them over the years, and who does Sosa hit his milestone 600th homerun (becoming only the 5th person in history to do so) again? Yup. DA CUBS.

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Video: 10 Reasons why Tony Parker Won the NBA Finals MVP

18 June 2007

Most NON-NBA people thinks the NBA Finals between the Spurs and the Cavaliers sucked, which is a shame, because if they had opened their eyes they would have seen a great NBA series. Tony Parker destroyed the Cavs by his little lonesome on his way to capturing the NBA Finals MVP trophy, becoming the first ever European player to do so. Here are the top 10 reasons why Parker deserved the trophy. Who knew the French could ball?

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Sammy Sosa Hits Homerun #599

18 June 2007

It pains me to consider what’s happened to Sammy Sosa in the last few years. For a while there, Sammy was living a charmed life — the American Dream, if you will. A great baseball career, millions of dollars, and the adoration of millions in his native Dominican and in America. Then something happened, he was implicated in that whole steroids witch hunt, and was bounced from the Cubs. He went to Baltimore, and now landed with the Texas Rangers and, for a while there, total obscurity. Then, on Friday, Sammy hit homerun #599, one shy of the magical #600. I’m happy for Sammy, and hope people give him his props. He’s one of the good guys, and it’s a damn shame how people have treated him in the last few years. Keep slammin’, Sammy!

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Ashley Massaro Leaves the WWE for Survivor

13 June 2007

It appears the ring of the World Wrestling Entertainment was much too constraining for everyone’s favorite WWE diva Ashley Massaro (well, favorite right after Stacy Keibler, anyway), so Ashley has left the WWE to appear as one of the contestants on the long-running Reality TV show “Survivor”. Or at least that’s the word from ProWrestling.com. I wonder if she’s going to take her mouth rings with her. Or would you call those lip rings? Whatever you call them, I wish she’d get rid of them. I feel queasy just looking at them…

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Video: Justin Verlander Throws a No-Hitter

13 June 2007

You would have to know a little bit about your baseball to realize and recognize just how special what Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander just did last night, when he no-hit the Milwaukee Brewers for nine innings. It was only the second no-hitter this year, and the first Detroit Tiger to do it since 1984 — over 23 years ago! Here’s the video of the final three recorded outs by Verlander as seen live on ESPN last night. The final out was made by JJ Hardy, who hit a lazy flyball for the third and final out.

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Softball’s Newest Hottie: Taryne Mowatt

10 June 2007

The Women’s College World Series is over, and the Arizona Wildcats are national collegiate champs, thanks in part to their hard-throwing blonde pitcher Taryne Mowatt, the latest hot fade on the Internet since Allison Stokke caused a stir with her pole skills. And in case you didn’t follow the Women’s College World Series on ESPN (how dare you not!), the Wildcats beat the ladies of the Tennessee Volunteers. But nevermind that. Check out Taryne Mowatt. Not bad, although I think Texas Longhorn Cat Osterman is still tops in the Softball Hotties Hall of Fame.

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Video: Minor League Baseball Manager Phillip Wellman Goes Nuts, Steals Bases

4 June 2007

And they say Good Sportsmanship in sports is dead! Here’s baseball Minor Leagues Mississippi Braves manager Phillip Wellman getting ejected from a game on Friday, June first. But instead of just going quietly, or having his say, Wellman proceeds to cover up the home base with dirt, then literally steals third base before tossing it into the outfield. Later he starts crawling around the grass like he’s a soldier in Vietnam, grabs a chalk bag, and tosses it like a grenade at the umpire. It is, truly, one of the craziest display of insanity I’ve ever seen.

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Video: Lebron James Takes Over Game 5 vs. Pistons

3 June 2007

In case you still haven’t heard about it, Lebron James grew up and single-handedly destroyed the Detroit Pistons in Game 5 of the NBA Playoffs a few days ago. (And in case you haven’t heard it, the Cavaliers have just dispatched the Pistons in Game 6 to advance to the NBA Finals against the Spurs.) Here’s a 3 minute highlight video of Lebron doing his thing, and proving that once and for all the guy deserves that #23 jersey. Lebron versus Jordon? I got Lebron.

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Rampage Defeats Chuck Liddell at UFC 71

28 May 2007

To no one’s surprise (or at the very least, I’m not surprised at all), Quinton “Rampage” Jackson beat the living Bejesus out of Chuck Liddell, the UFC’s reigning light heavyweight champ in the first two minutes of Round 1 in their UFC 71 championship match. You can read the whole thing here. Why am I not surprised by this? Because Rampage came from Pride Fighting, which in my opinion is light years ahead of the UFC in terms of skills and fighters. And here’s the thing: Rampage isn’t even the best that Pride has to offer! And he beat, in less than two minutes, the best that UFC had to offer! Tell me there was eve rany doubt Rampage would win and I’ll call you a dreamer.

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Portland Trailblazers Steal the NBA Lottery

23 May 2007

You can look at what just happened at the NBA Lottery Drawing two ways: You can claim it was a travesty that the worst teams in the NBA last year didn’t get the first, second, or third picks; or you can look at it as cosmic justice that three POS teams got what they deserved: kicked in the teeth for being so hapless. In what can only be a called a stunning upset, the Portland Trailblazers landed the #1 overall Draft Pick in the upcoming NBA draft despite having only a 5.3% chance of winning. In case you don’t know, the NBA Draft Lottery works this way: every team gets their name into a big lotto cage, with the teams with the worst records getting more lotto balls than everyone else, i.e. the worst your win-loss record, the more lotto balls you get. Statistically, this means the worst team last year SHOULD get the #1 draft pick. Should, anyway. Read about the rest of it here.

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Video: And1’s The Professor Highlights

21 May 2007

In case you don’t know who he is, Grayson Boucher, aka The Professor, is a skinny white kid who ESPN’s And1 Streetball Mixtape Tour reality TV contest. Basically, the And1 are a bunch of streetballers who drives to different cities on a bus to take on that city’s best ballers. On the show, “Streetball”, contestants are chosen from the throng that shows up to play the And1 crew, and if they are good enough, are “put on the bus”, where they stay as long as they continue to perform. The winner, at the end of the season, is awarded an And1 contest and joins the tour. All that is a long-winded way of introducing to you The Professor’s video highlights. Check it out.

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It Doesn’t Suck to be … Tony Romo

16 May 2007

Boy, does it not suck to be Tony Romo. (Well, except for that one game up there in Seattle…) How exactly does a college quarterback from Eastern Illinois University land the main main job with the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys? Or for that matter, how does a guy from San Diego end up on the arms of America’s sweetheart, Carrie Underwood and attending the 2007 Country Music Awards (pictures below)? Don’t ask me, I’m just a schmuck who types on a computer for a living. But however Tony Romo did it, I wish he’d let me know. (Plus, that’s a cool last name. “Romo”. Damn, this guy has it all! Damn him!) Of course, there’s always that game up in Seattle…

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Steve Nash Bloody Nose Against Spurs

14 May 2007

In case you missed it, in Game 1 of the Suns-Spurs second round playoff game Steve Nash (two-time MVP who should have won a third, let me just say) took a round to the noggins that ended with him on the bench bleeding like a stuck pig. Okay, so it wasn’t a round; it was more like Tony Parker (i.e. Mr. Eva Longoria) and his head. Get this: Parker went down after the clash, but it was Nash with the bloody nose. So what does that say? That Nash is about 50 times tougher than Parker, for one, and he didn’t get all baby about the collision like Parker did. But that’s a San Antonio Spur for you. One little bump or touch and they collapse like a house of cards. Fakers.

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