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Melinda Doolittle Eliminated from American Idol

17 May 2007

Wednesday’s American Idol Results show eliminated Melinda Doolittle, leaving between a duel between beat-bopping dork Blake Lewis and 7-feet tall giant Jordin Sparks. In case you haven’t been watching the show, Melinda has been Simon’s favorite since forever, and she was a former back-up singer (say goodbye to the back-up duties, baby?) who has since come up front. The girl’s got great vocals and should get signed pretty fast. But without the American Idol machine behind her career, who knows where her career will end up. Now it’s Blake Lewis vs. Jordin Sparks. WHO YA GOT??

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Jack Bauer is Guaranteed 2 More Years of Terrorist Ass Whuppin’

16 May 2007

Just when you thought Jack Bauer couldn’t take anymore, and that his terrorist-fightin’ days were over, the Fox network goes and hands “24″ two more guaranteed seasons for Jack and company to ply their explosion-detonating, gun-blasting, and detonator-retrieving ways. Yes, that’s right, Jack Bauer fans, after this year’s Season 6, we are guaranteed two more seasons, and considering the show’s downward slide, Season 8 will, in all likelihood, be all she wrote for Jack. Then again, there’s always the “24: The Movie” — if it ever happens, that is.

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Geek Love: The Babes of Jericho

16 May 2007

Good news and bad news, fans of CBS’ nuke-drama “Jericho”. The good news is that the ladies of your show gets their very own Geek Love on the Random Page; the bad news is that your show has been cancelled. I think we can all agree that the good news outweighs the bad. Right? Um. Anyways, before people start looking me up and trying to kick me in the nads for that awful joke, here are the babes of Jericho to brighten your otherwise crappy day. Easy come, easy go, right?

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Is Lipstick Jungle the New Sex and the City?

15 May 2007

Geez, I certainly hope not, as I thought “Sex and the City” was one stupid p.o.s. of a show. Seriously, any show that tries to convince me Sarah Jessica Parker is hot can’t be taken very seriously. The cast of NBC’s new “girl power” show “Lipstick Jungle” is certainly more appealing, with Kim Raver providing a sexy center to a trio of babes consisting of Lindsay Price and Brooke Shields just trying to make it through the world of corporate business, aka it’s a man’s world. Result: Lots of sex in the office. Kim Raver + sex in the office = massive ratings. Maybe. Let’s just hope Jack Bauer doesn’t find out.

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Heroes Gets a Spin-Off Show, Heroes: Origins

15 May 2007

NBC’s show “Heroes” is so good, so great, so frakkin fantastic, that the Powers That Be have deemed it spin-off-able. Which basically means they have made a second show based around the Heroes concept, and this time they’ve called it “Heroes: Origins”. Basically, every week, for six weeks (six episodes), the show will showcase a new hero, and you, the audience, gets to decide if you want them as a regular castmember of the Heroes cast. The winner(s) will start appearing in Season 3 of “Heroes” as a regular. Personally if you ask me, I still think it’s all about Niki/Jessica. A housewife who is secretly an adult website mistress who also moonlights as a killer stripper? I mean, come on!

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Gina Holden Joins Sci Fi’s Flash Gordon

13 May 2007

The Sci Fi Channel’s reboot of the Flash Gordon character has found its Dale Arden in “Final Destination 3″ actress Gina Holden. The series will make its debut on the Sci Fi Channel in August, and has already started production in Canada. It will star Holden as the female lead, and Eric Johnson as a teen Flash Gordon. Other members of the cast include Karen Cliché as Baylin, Giles Panton as Joe, Panou as Nick, Jonathan Walker as Rankol, Jill Teed as Norah, Carmen Moore as Jolie and Anna van Hoft as Aura.

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Pictures of Michelle Ryan as The Bionic Woman

13 May 2007

Access Hollywood (via SuperheroHype) has got your first look at British lovely Michelle Ryan as Jamie Sommers, aka The Bionic Woman. There’s also an article and interview with the ex-”East Enders” star (she played Zoe Slater), who plays a young woman who gets $50 million worth of bionic body parts after she suffers an “awful accident”. The show is definitely going to be action packed, with plenty of fighting. I mean, hell, you don’t give a woman $50 mil of bionic parts and tell her to jump around in place. You send that girl on spy missions and save-the-world type stuff!

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THE BIONIC WOMAN is a Go for Next Season

12 May 2007

Variety reports that NBC has greenlit a year’s worth of commitment to a remake of the “Bionic Woman” TV show, to star British actress Michelle Ryan (below). The show will be produced by David Eick, Glen Morgan, Jason Smilovic and Michael Dinner, and Ryan will star as a woman who gets remade into a, well, basically a cyborg — half robot, half human. No idea if they’re going to follow the premise of the original ’70s show, but I’m sure they’ll tweak the character’s origins to fit the contemporary world. Look for Ryan’s Bionic Woman to be a martial artist, ass-kicking super agent or somesuch. Hey, sounds good to me!

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JERICHO and FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS on the Brink of Cancellation

11 May 2007

Fans of “Jericho” and “Friday Night Lights” better stock up on those first-season DVD sets when they come out, because there might not be anymore seasons to collect after that. CBS and NBC, respectively, still aren’t sure if they want to bring both shows back for a second season. “Jericho” in particular is a strange case; the show started off strong, but has flagged in the ratings in its second half. “Friday Night Lights”, meanwhile, never got good ratings to begin with, but had stellar mainstream critical reviews and backing. Will these two shows be back? No one knows, and the networks aren’t talking. YET.

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I Predict a Fourth Season Renewal for MEDIUM

8 May 2007

It looks like NBC really likes its housewife with psychic powers, because it has renewed the Patricia Arquette supernatural show “Medium” for a fourth season. In the show, Arquette plays an Everywoman with a husband, kids, a job with the D.A.’s office, and oh yeah, she can see dead people and solve crimes and stuff. In fact, NBC’s “Medium” is probably one of the handful of shows starring an average looking woman who just happens to be, let’s just say, a tad chubby. Patricia Arquette isn’t Jennifer Love Hewitt, or even looks like the supermodels that populate other shows. She’s real, so maybe that’s the charm of the show. Then again, she’s also got a humongous rack, so maybe that’s it.

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“Gilmore Girls” Canceled, Lauren Graham Still Hot

7 May 2007

In case you haven’t heard, the CW’s “Gilmore Girls” will air its final show, ever, on May 15th after seven glorious years on the air. I only bring this news to you because I heard there were people out there who watches the show. And hey, I guess if no one watches it, it wouldn’t have lasted seven whole years, and even survived the extinction of the WB network, which merged with UPN to become the current CW network. The show starred Lauren Graham as an independent mother raising a teen daughter in Alexis Bledel. The fact is, on today’s TV, any show that lasts more than 3 seasons is a major winner. I never really got into “The Gilmore Girls”, although I always meant to. So sue me, Lauren Graham’s combination of sex appeal and cute girl looks really appeals to me.

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American Idol’s Constantine Maroulis Lands on Daytime TV

2 May 2007

Proving that Yes, you can get by with just looks alone, former American Idol Season 4 reject Constantine Maroulis has landed a role on the daytime TV soap “The Bold and the Beautiful”, reports IMDB.com. Constanine will make his TV debut on the show’s May 15 episode, playing a music producer. He joins fellow American Idol reject Matthew Metzger, from Season Three, to land gigs on American daytime TV. Hey, it’s not “Dreamgirls”, but it’ll do for now.

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Prison Break to Get Remade as a Chinese Movie

1 May 2007

Who knew busting out of prison would become so popular? Fox probably had no idea they had a break-out (har har, get it?) hit on their hands when they signed off on “Prison Break”. The show has just wrapped up its second season, and already has a season-long commitment for a third. So no matter what happens with Michael Scofield (last seen in a Panama prison where, one presumes, he will plot to escape from ala the first season), there will be three full seasons after a mostly forced season season. And now the Chinese plan to adapt the series into a 3-hour plus movie.

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The Sci Fi Channel’s Summer Schedule, FLASH GORDON

27 April 2007

Let’s face it: as much as I appreciate them for having shows like “The Dresden Files” and the “Stargate SG1″ series on their air, The Sci Fi Channel is known for some pretty craptacular stuff, not least of which are the truly horrendous quality of their “original movies”, i.e. the latest genetic monster/mutant attacks movie of the week. But let’s not focus on the latter and just concentrate on the former — their Summer TV line-up. Read on…

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Sarah Silverman to Host the MTV Movie Awards

26 April 2007

Get ready, MTV kids, Sarah Silverman is about to blow your mind. The 36-year old foul-mouthed Jewish comedian is going to be hosting MTV’s annual Movie Awards (I forgot what year of the award this is, and MTV doesn’t seem to give a crap, so we’ll just go with 2007). This will come as a total shock to the kids, as they probably have no idea who Silverman is, or what she’s capable of. Let me just warn you guys: Sarah Silverman is cute as hell on the outside, but sharp as a knife in the rib cages on the inside. And oh yeah, did I mention that she’s got a potty mouth like you wouldn’t believe? Get ready for sex jokes out the wazoo and the words “vagina” throughout the nights, boys and girls! (And maybe she’ll throw in one or two jokes about boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel’s small penis if we’re lucky.)

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Fox Cancels Nathan Fillion’s DRIVE

26 April 2007

TV Guide’s Ask Ausiello has bad news for fans of Fox’s “Drive” TV series — it’s been cancelled. Or at least, that’s what his sources tell him. “Multiple sources confirm that Fox has axed the Tim Minear creation after less than three weeks on the air. I’ll go out on a limb and say the show’s crappy ratings were to blame. House encores will take over its Monday/8 pm time slot. There is one piece of good news: I’m hearing the final two unaired Drive eps may get burned off on consecutive Fridays in May.” You know, I didn’t think it was all that bad of a show. Then again, I’ve only seen mostly the commercials, and I caught about 5 minutes of one episode last week, but — um, well, I guess nobody caught the episodes, either, if the ratings were low enough for Fox to toss it into the junk heap after only a few episodes.

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Spielberg and Hanks Visits WWII Again with THE PACIFIC Mini-Series

25 April 2007

Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks’ 10-hour mini-series “Band of Brothers” remakes, to this day, 6 years after its premiere, the seminal World War II work for me, mini-series or otherwise. Over the course of those 10 hours, I cried, laughed, feared, and wince in pain as young men fell to free Europe from Hitler’s Nazis. Now Spielberg and Hanks will be tackling World War II once again for HBO, this time they’re taking the fight to the oceans of the Pacific in “The Pacific” (originally titled “The Pacific War”). But this time they won’t have Stephen Ambrose, from which “Band of Brothers” was based on, to help them along. Instead, Ambrose’s son, Hugh, will be a consultant on “The Pacific”.

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THE REAL WEDDING CRASHERS Are Real Rating Stinkers

25 April 2007

If “Punk’d” wunderkind Ashton Kutcher ever had the midas touch (and I’m not sure he ever did), it’s gone now, as his new show, “The Real Wedding Crashers”, tanked in the ratings despite a powerful lead-in in the massive hit “Heroes”. The show’s 1-hour premiere averaged a 5.0 rating and an 8 share in overnight Nielsen raitings, compared with 12.1/10 for CBS’s “CSI: Miami” and a 6.1/10 for ABC’s “The Bachelor”. This comes as a big disappointment to pretty much everyone, especially me, since I saw most of the show and thought it was pretty funny. The best part about the show? You know Ashton Kutcher produced it, but you never saw him (at least I didn’t see him in the 40 or so minutes I saw) in the show, because let me just say, the most retarded thing about Kutcher’s “Punk’d” on MTV is Kutcher himself as he spins back and forth between cameras acting like a spaz in-between the skits.

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Kylie Minogue is one Sexy Cyberwoman

23 April 2007

Word is that Down Under queen of dancing Kylie Minogue, who had just recently licked the crap out of breast cancer, will now be attempting to dominate and enslave humanity as a sexy Cyberwoman — half woman, half cyborg, all babe. From here: “Australian pop star Kylie Minogue will appear in TV hit series ‘Dr Who’ for its Christmas special, where she will play a sexy cyber woman who tries to lure the doctor played by David Tennant.” I tuned out of Doctor Who after Christopher Eccleston left, but I might just tune back in to catch this one…

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LOST Bloodbath on the Horizon for Season 3 Finale

19 April 2007

Looks like the guys over at ABC’s “Lost” are tired of “Heroes” taking all their press, because they have something pretty big set up for the Season 3 finale of their show. To wit, this Ask Ausiello column: “Get ready to clutch your pearls: I’m told there will be at least five — count ‘em, five — deaths on Lost during the month of May. Meanwhile, exec producer Carlton Cuse offers this exclusive tease about the show’s two-hour, sure-to-be-blockbuster season finale on May 22: ‘Let’s just say the end of the season features a showdown between Jack and Locke — a showdown long anticipated and a showdown with an extremely significant outcome for the future of the castaways.’” Yikes.

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