Your Weekend Send-off is brought to you by Vanessa Minnillo. Hey, remember Vanessa Minnillo? You know, the pretty girl who used to date that Nick Lachey guy? You remember Nick Lachey, right? He used to be a member of some band. Or something. Anyways, it’s been ages since anyone cared about Lachey, but there’s no denying that the man had taste. After that whole Jessica Simpson debacle, Lachey latched onto Vanessa Minnillo (get it? lached onto? heh), and here are three good reasons why. In a word, hot. Bikini wearing hot, which is the best kind of hot.
29 August 2008
Okay, so maybe Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian, as hot and deliciously fantasy-worthy as they are, are about 15 years too old to actually be convincing as cheerleaders, cheerleader outfits notwithstanding, but I’m going to overlook that when “Disaster Movie” opens. Yeah, I know, it’s another spoof film that’s probably going to be funniest for NOT being very funny (get it? ah, you guys don’t appreciate my brilliance), but I’m willing to spend my hardearned money just to see it for that scene with Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian in cheerleader outfits. Yes, I am that big of a sucker. Whatever, man, you don’t know where I’ve been. Stop judging me!
15 May 2007
I say “Vanessa Minnillo does the bikini thing again,” when what I really mean to say is, “Holy crap, Vanessa Minnillo does the bikini thing again! Quick, everyone, gather ’round the ‘puter to take a gander at this!” See how that’s different? Anyhoo, Mrs. Nick Lachey was caught at her Bahamas hotel pool doing the bikini thing and looking good doing it, before she took her fine little body outside with Lachey Da Man for what the old timers call frolickin’ on the beach time. Now this is more like it. Who ever heard of flying all the way down to the Bahamas just to dip in the hotel poor? Sacrilegious! By the way, nice keg, Nick. Gym membership run out there, buddy?
26 April 2007
It’s tough to be a hot girl in America. You got guys crawling all over you, you win beauty pageants without trying, and jobs on MTV gets thrown at you like confetti. To top it off, you get handsome singer boyfriends, bikini holidays in Hawaii, and movie roles fall into your lap without you even trying to land them. And before you know it, advertisers want you to pitch their wares to the public. Damn, it sure doesn’t suck to be Vanessa Minnillo, who is currently pitching Bongo Ads. I’m still not sure what it is that Bongo sells, but I’m sure it’s real swell. Wait, do the kids still use words like “swell”? I am so unhip it’s not even funny.
20 April 2007
Maxim Magazine loves Vanessa Minnillo, and Vanessa Minnillo loves Maxim Magazine, and we love them both for continually getting together to give us these great shots of Vanessa Minnillo. Which means you boys should run to your computer (well, you’re already there, but nevermind) and try to grab the back issues of this gorgeous girl’s appearances in Maxim via Ebay or your auction site of choice. Then again, maybe not. Anyways, Vanessa is looking so good in these pictures that I hate Nick Lachey even more after seeing them. (In case you don’t know, Nick is the one hitting this fine, fine, fine piece of you know what.) These aren’t new or recent but they’re great nevertheless. Bow down now!
23 March 2007
As far as I can tell (which is me saying, “I have no idea, but I’ve heard…”), TRL host Vanessa Minnillo is still dating that handsome punk Nick Lachey, ex of Jessica Simpson. (What a lucky bastard that guy is. I hate him almost as much as I hate Tom Brady for the Grade-A poon they get without even breaking a sweat. Damn you handsome guys!) Anyways, here’s Vanessa Minnillo gracing the cover (and interiors) of Shape Magazine, showing off her shapely, um, shape. Just the cover for now, but interiors to come when I locate them.
26 November 2006
I’m not sure what is it about TRL’s Vanessa Minnillo that intrigues me. She’s a pretty girl, in that “girl next door” variety, but not altogether beautiful. And judging from her reports on Entertainment Tonight (mind you, not that I watch Entertainment Tonight a lot, ahem) she’s really not that good of a reporter, if you can call what Vanessa does “reporting”. And since I have sworn off MTV like a former vampire victim reacting to the presence of Dracula, I don’t know how Vanessa works on TRL. Then again — wait, where am I going with this? Um, nevermind. Here’s Vanessa Minnillo, your Sunday Treat.
24 October 2006
Chris Evans’ The Human Torch character is so hot that he needs an equally hot girl to play his girlfriend in the upcoming “Fantastic Four” sequel, “Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer” (I still think that’s a long-ass and kinda stupid title, but I digress). And hey, who is hotter than TRL’s Vanessa Minnillo, at least according to SuperheroHype? She’s a terrible reporter (have you seen how stiff she is on those entertainment tonight-like shows?), but damn is she fine. Although Nick Lachey better be careful; his marriage to Jessica went downhill as soon as she became a famous movie star, so…
14 September 2006
Vanessa Minnillo (aka Nick Lachey’s current girlfriend) returns to the magazine that made her famous for another spread of delicious proportions. To be totally honest with you I’m still not sure why Vanessa is famous; sure, she does that “VJ” thing on MTV, and I think she’s a fake reporter on Entertainment Tonight (or is it Access Hollywood? Maybe the E! Channel? oh who cares, they’re all the same). But I’m pretty sure her biggest claim to fame right now is shagging Nick Lachey. In any case, here she is back in Maxim Magazine, courtesy of reader “Bad_Boi_81″ who emailed me the pictures.
28 August 2006
Yes, folks, it’s that time of the year again, when TV’s beautiful people crowd the red carpet and act like movie stars, even though, you know, they’re not. I mean, they do work in TV, primarily. But I digress. Among the hotties attending the 58th Annual Primetime Emmys (aka the Friggin Emmys that No One Watches) were Jennifer Love Hewitt and her marvelous breasts, former American Idol chick Kimberly Caldwell, found again Evangeline Lilly, midget lover Heather Locklear, “reporters” Maria Menounos, Vanessa Minnillo, and Nancy O’Dell; and finally, my favorite house call Doctor, Jennifer Morrison. Now where did the Emmys misplace my invitation? I tell ya, those guys need to get their act together…
25 August 2006
After hiding inside the shadow of Jessica Simpson’s breasts for so long, Nicky Lachey has finally gotten a share of the spotlight himself. His singing career seems to be going just fine, and he’s putting it to TRL’s Vanessa Minnillo every night, so the guy really has nothing to complain about. In fact, his life is so good, I wouldn’t mind pulling a “Face/Off” with him. Come on, Nick, call me. My life is pretty interesting, too. Sorta. Here’s Nick and Vanessa Minnillo sunbathing in their skimpies on their balcony.
21 July 2006
Another look at the gal Nick Lachey is currently shacking up with post-Jessica looks like. Her name is Vanessa Minnillo, an MTV VJ, but she’s more appropriately known as, “The girl who makes less money and is less famous than Nick, thus he’s allowed to maintain his fragile masculinity, giving their relationship a remote chance in hell of making it beyond one year”. I think lovely Vanessa is an ex-beauty queen or something. I know, I should really invest some time to check out her background, but I refuse. Why ruin a perfectly good thing? This site should be totally uninformed at all times. Hey, that’s just how we like to roll around these parts. And by “we” I of course mean me, myself, and my pet monkey.
11 June 2006
I hate Nick Lachey. This guy gets more Grade-A poon than astronauts. I mean, come on. It’s just not fair. If I got even 1% of what this guy gets in a week, I’d be a happy man. I’d be smiling from ear to ear. One of Nicky boy’s latest catch is MTV’s golden girl Vanessa Minnillo. Let me just say it again: I hate Nick Lachey.
10 July 2009