Archive | Videos RSS feed for this category

More Human Tetris Fun

17 September 2007

I swear, the Japanese just keeps coming up with better and better ways to make total fools of themselves. Or, to be more precise, to drop people into gooey water, the kind of water where you don’t even want to think where the game got it from because, let’s face it, those things look disgusting. Here’s another clip from the popular Japanese game show Human Tetris, where contestants stand next to a vat of water and watch a wall move toward them; they are then forced to contort their body in order to “fit” into the shape approaching them. I know, hard to explain, but utterly ludicrous (and yet, funny) to watch.

Continue reading...

Helena Mattsson in Carl Jr.’s Flat Buns Commercial

11 September 2007

I’ve already told you about Helena Mattsson, and how you’re going to be hearing more about this Swedish beauty very soon (her first starring role, “Species 4: The Awakening” is hitting DVDs very soon, so be sure to grab it), but until then you can check out more of her in this Carl Jr.’s Flat Buns hamburger commercials. And I mean “commercials”, plural. It’s the same commercial, with the same rapping white boys, but there are different footages of the gorgeous Helena Mattsson in them. I seem to recall that there were some controversy when this video was run on network TV, although I could be wrong. Then again, isn’t that the point of the commercials? The more “controversy”, even the fake ones, will get Carl Jr.’s free publicity, and that’s just something you can’t buy.

Continue reading...

Britney Spears Performance at the MTV VMA

10 September 2007

Oh boy, apparently motherhood and trailer trashing it up for the last few years hasn’t been kind to Britney Spears’ talent — or should we say, what little talent she still has left. The poor girl performed at the MTV Video Music Awards last night (video of the performance below), and she looked, in a word: “Holy crap, you call that a performance?” Basically, it was awful. I mean, shit, I don’t even know anything about dancing or choreography or singing, but even I know that “performance” of hers was Godawful shitty. The song she’s doing is her new single, called “Gimme More”, and it sounds just as crappy as her performance. See for yourself before MTV yanks it off YouTube. (But on the plus side? Her doctor sucked out all the cellulite, so that’s good.) Update: Well the YouTube version didn’t last long. Here’s the DailyMotion version, hopefully it’ll last longer.

Continue reading...

Whoopi Goldberg Says Don’t Blame Mick Vick for Being a Douche Bag

6 September 2007

Wow, Whoopi Goldberg didn’t waste anytime making her mark on The View, did she? And of course by “her mark” I mean make people think Rosie O’Donnell wasn’t really as crazy as we all thought. Goldberg’s ingenious take on the Michael Vick situation? “He’s from the South, from the Deep South … This is part of his cultural upbringing. Instead of just saying he is a beast and he’s a monster, this is a kid who comes from a culture where this is not questioned.” Oooookay. You know, I don’t live in the Deep South or anything, but I’m pretty sure other bad shit happened down there that Whoopi, being a woman of African descent, might want to rethink about. *cough*KKK*cough* So maybe it’s not such a good idea to depend the “traditions” of the Deep South, Whoopi. Witness Whoopi’s stupidity for yourself below via video.

Continue reading...

And1’s The Professor in Ball Don’t Lie Trailer

5 September 2007

I heard about the basketball movie “Ball Don’t Lie” during an And1 Mixtape Tour episode on ESPN. In case you don’t know, And1 is a streetball “team” that goes around to various cities challenging that city’s best streetball players. At the end of every year (season), one winner is selected from the players to join the And1 Tour. The show’s original winner is Grayson Boucher, aka The Professor, a skinny white kid who wowed the audience and became a part of the tour. Now Boucher is branching out into acting, and his latest is a starring role in the movie “Ball Don’t Lie” (scroll down below to see the trailer for the movie). It remains to be seen if the Professor can pull off acting; he’s got the game aspect down, but what about, you know, acting??? We’ll have to wait and see.

Continue reading...

Creepy First Ever McDonalds TV Commercial

4 September 2007

Jesus H. Christ, how creepy is this McDonalds TV commercial from waaaaaaay back? How way back? I don’t know, not too sure, but I’m guessing it’s somewhere from the ’60s or maybe ’70s, or perhaps even earlier. However far back it goes, it’s one frakkin’ creepy TV commercial. Basically it’s Ronald McDonald wearing some crazy looking outfit and telling kids how he wants them to come eat with him, and then at the end of the commercial, Ronald dances a jig like a total fool. You simply have to see this thing to believe it. If I didn’t know better, I would think this thing was a promotion for Stephen King’s horror novel-turned-movie called “It”, about a killer clown that tricked kids into the sewer.

Continue reading...

Appalachian State Upsets Michigan. Biggest Sports Upset … EVER?

3 September 2007

Dear mother of God, it’s finally happened. A Division I-AA team (Appalachian State) has finally defeated an Division I-A (Michigan) opponent in what might just be the biggest upset in sports history. Yeah, even more of a historical upset than when those Indiana farm boys did it in “Hoosiers” (based on a real story, that one). It was more than David versus Goliath, it was a High School football team playing their Middle School brethren. It’s not supposed to happen. It NEVER happens. Every year, powerhouse teams like Michigan schedules soft meat like Appalachian State to get into a groove. It’s a glorified skirmish. Michigan is SUPPOSED to win. How big was Michigan supposed to win? So big that the gambling sportsbooks didn’t even ALLOW betting on the game! Final score: Appalachian State: 34, Michigan: 32. So only one question remains: When is the movie coming out, and can we PLEASE not have Matthew McConaughy play the coach in this one?

Continue reading...

Bodog’s Football Boobs Commercial

31 August 2007

For the non-gambling addicts among you, Bodog is a gambling site renown for their, well, gambling sportsbook and online poker. They also make some pretty snazzy commercials, including this one, where a guy is rudely interrupted in his bedroom by a super hot woman with — well, you have to see it for yourself. Basically, it’s football and boobs meshed into one for — super football boobs! Or foobs, if you will. Basically, someone has been listening to my fantasies and decided to make a commercial out of it. Genius!

Continue reading...

Balls of Fury Looks Stupid Good

31 August 2007

In “Balls of Fury”, Christopher Walken plays a crimelord who likes to organize illegal ping pong tournaments. George Lopez plays a FBI agent who kicks Masi Oka’s ass in a bathroom. And Maggie Q. is a really, really hot chick who teaches the fat hero how to play ping pong. Basically, it’s everything you want in a movie, but was too afraid to ask. And yes, I’m sure the critics will savage the film up and down and all around, but so what, who needs them? This isn’t a movie made for the critics, and I’ll be shock if it’s even shown to them. Let them pay to go see it in order to write a negative review on it! Sour pusses. This movie is going to have me laughing my ass off by the simple fact that it is just looks too stupid good to not be funny. Check out the trailer for “Balls of Fury” below.

Continue reading...

Amateur Parkour Best of Compilation

30 August 2007

So what is parkour? Well I’m sure Wikipedia or the dictionary have their own descriptions for it, but from what I know, it’s basically urban hopping. Or, to be even more succinct, it’s getting all Jackie Chan with your urban environment. Basically, athletic guys do crazy jumps, leaps, and kicks on a given environment, regardless of what is there, or what isn’t. It’s like acrobatics, except if you fall you can crack your head into concrete instead of, you know, soft mats. That’s for sissies. Guys who do parker are basically insane, which is what makes it so fun to watch. Check out this “best of” video compilation.

Continue reading...

Dumbest Beauty Pageant … EVER?

29 August 2007

Is Carolina Lauren Caitlin, aka Miss Teen South Carolina, quite possibly the dumbest beauty pageant…EVER? Quite possibly. What makes it doubly worst is that the contestants KNEW the questions ahead of time. Sure, they probably didn’t know the EXACT questions, but they knew what kind of questions they would get, and one presumes they would have practiced their answers ahead of time, this whole beauty pageant “thing” being the only thing they do all day long. Am I right or am I right? In any case, here’s Carolina Lauren Caitlin, South Carolina’s dumbest beauty pageant, answering a question about maps and that geography stuff. Oh…my…GOD.

Continue reading...

Family Guy 300 Trailer Parody

28 August 2007

There’s South Park and then there’s Family Guy. The former is just a little bit (okay, a LOT) smarter than the latter, but the latter has its charms, too, and in its own way, it’s quite the clever little scamp. There was an episode a few years back where South Park ripped Family Guy a new one for being a one-trick pony — basically, every Family Guy episode is a series of lame narrative plot filled with completley off-center drive-by gags that usually begins with, “Remember the time when …” Yeah, it’s kind of lame, but it’s still great fun. Anyways, some clever kid put the trailer for the movie 300 to scenes from Family Guy, and I have to say, the results are pretty cool. I especially love the Hitler inspiration for the Leonidas speech. Priceless!

Continue reading...

New TV Show Preview: Reaper

27 August 2007

In the new The CW show “Reaper” (God, how much do I hate having to type “The CW”? Tons!), a 20-something slacker learns that long ago his parents sold his soul to the devil, and now the devil has come to collect. Oops! As a result, the slacker now has to go around the city hunting down renegade souls for the devil, played by the delightful Ray Wise. The pilot episode gets some star power (the show itself is pretty much devoid of stars or any big names whatsoever, Ray Wise not withstanding) in director Kevin Smith, king of the slackers. It actually looks like a very promising show, and you can check out a trailer for it below, plus one other reason to watch the show. Pssst. Her name is Missy, and she’s the slacker’s love interest on the show.

Continue reading...

Best Boxing Knock Out … Ever?

24 August 2007

This is, quite possibly, one of the best knock outs I’ve ever seen in a boxing match. The guy just takes one on the chin and his head snaps and his knees just drops like a ton of bricks. If you didn’t see it up close and in slow motion, you’d swear the guy getting knocked out was taking a dive. But nope — he actually does take one to the chin and goes down as a result. Just an excellent smackdown. I don’t even know who the boxers are, but man, I don’t know whether to be impressed with the guy delivering the blow or be disgusted by the guy taking it. You decide.

Continue reading...

Penn State Band Does Michael Jackson’s Thriller

22 August 2007

Usually my predilection for Michael Jackson Thriller parody videos involve amateurs trying to do the dance, but every now and then I like to throw in a pro. Well, as pro as a college band can be, I suppose, as they’re not really pros, but kinda-pros since they do this for a living. I mean, we’re not talking about prison inmates in Asia or guests at a wedding. Anyhoo, this was filmed By Matthew Fallabel and is the 2005 Halloween Corner Performance With The Penn State Drum Line. Not bad. I kind of like the new flavor of the live instrumentals. But one question: Where the heck is everyone? The stands are practically deserted.

Continue reading...

Best Soccer Goal … Ever?

21 August 2007

Is this the best soccer goal kick ever? Possibly. It’s pretty damn impressive, that’s for sure, especially considering the distance of the boy being served the the scorer. But what I’d like to know is who is the total dumbass standing in front of the goal, and what the heck is he supposed to be doing besides standing there like a slack-jawed yokel (and even that is insulting slack-jawed yokels everywhere) when the ball was being served? I don’t know if this is the case of a fantastic goal or the case of a really, really, REALLY bad goalie. I mean we’re talking about a live game here. This isn’t practice or kids goofing around. Dude, what were you doing, fantasizing about Angelina Jolie???

Continue reading...

Boxer vs. the Fight’s Ref — WHO YA GOT???

17 August 2007

This has got to be one of the funnier things I’ve ever seen. So there’s a boxing match between, from the looks of it, two lightweights (small dudes). They go in for a clinch, so the ref, a giant, hulking dude, literally throws one of the boxers into the corner and gives him a slap across the headgear. The boxer doesn’t like that and shoves the ref back, and then it’s on! The ref grabs the small boxer guy and starts wailing on him! I mean, come on, this is kind of ridiculous. You go in for a fight and you end up having to fight the ref, too? Hilarious!

Continue reading...

Susie Feldman’s Stuff Photoshoot Video

16 August 2007

Susie Feldman is the wife of Corey Feldman, one of the stars of the A&E faux “Reality” TV show “The Two Coreys”. Basically, the premise of the show is that, for some unfathomable reason, Corey Haim moves into the Feldman’s house in order to get his career back on track. As you’ll recall, Corey and Corey were famous teen stars from the ’80s and somewhat into the ’90s, but they both kind of disappeared since then. The show is incredibly fake, of course, with the two guys just basically making crap up as they go. But there is one reason to watch the show: Corey Feldman’s wife, Susie Feldman, is UnGodly Hot. In one episode, she does a photoshoot for Stuff Magazine. The issue itself isn’t out yet, but here’s a clip from that photoshoot. I’m telling you, Corey Feldman married UUUUUUUUUUUP.

Continue reading...

Antwan Barnes Cheap Shot at Punter Sav Rocca

15 August 2007

The thing about preseason games is, they don’t mean anything. The scores are purely cosmetic. But they mean EVERYTHING to the guys trying to make the team. Which probably explains why former Florida International linebacker Antwan Barnes, playing for the Baltimore Ravens, put a vicious cheap shot at Philadelphia Eagles punter Sav Rocca, who had just delivered a booming 65 yard punt from the end of his own endzone. Basically, an amazing feat. So while Rocca is jogging off the field, Barnes comes at him from behind and delivers a helmet-to-helmet blow to Rocca, basically flattening him. It was an obvious cheap shot, and what’s more, very dangerous. There is a reason why the NFL fines you out of the ass for hitting someone with your helmet — those thing are heavy and tough and they can shatter bone. Here’s the video of the cheap shot, and I love the commentary by the guys in the booth. Right on.

Continue reading...

Barry Bonds Hits Home Run #756 to Break HR Record

10 August 2007

I’ve been hesitant about making this Barry Bonds posting. On the one hand, I think he doesn’t really deserve the home run record, but on the other hand — well, he did hit it, despite all the pressures from the world rooting AGAINST him. Maybe it’s the San Francisco crowd that continues to pump him up, but the guy did take all the weight of the world and still went out and did his job, so in that respect you gotta give him SOME props. Anyways, here’s the video of Barry Bonds hitting home run #756 to break Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. As a person, he’s still a total douche bag, but as a baseball player, well, he’s got skills, steroids or not.

Continue reading...