You know you love them — girls that are so bad, and so good at being bad, that they’re downright sexy. Oh sure, they can probably snap your neck with just their thighs, or karate chop you in the throat, but come on, when you gotta go, you gotta go, right? And why not go at the hands (or thighs) of a hottie with a body to die for? Here, then, are some of the most babelicious bad girls to ever grace the cinema screens. (And no, there is no Grace Jones in here. If you want Grace Jones to be here, you really, really need therapy. Seriously, look for a doctor right now.)
Up first, always, is Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman from “Batman Returns”. Forget Halle Berry. There was no one better at being bad and sexy like Pfeiffer’s Catwoman. Her character gets thrown out the window of a towering skyscraper and lives to tell about it. Instead of dying, she becomes a sexy siren in skin-tight black leather. Now that’s a villainous origin story!
This is the second time Famke Janssen has graced a Geek Love column, this time as would-be Bond killer Xenia Zirgavna Onatopp. The Soviet assassin likes to use her womanly charms to get her victims in bed, where she has sex with them before proceeding to crush them with her thighs. No, seriously. So when Bond says to her, “No more foreplay”, that basically proves to us that Bond is a little gay in the pants as played by Pierce Brosnan.
Zhang Ziyi has the perfect body for a villain: she’s so small that you don’t think she can do anything to you, and then she whips out those legs and BOOM! You’re on your ass in a second. She did that a lot in “Rush Hour 2″, and boy, was fun times had by all! I bet even the boys were having fun getting thrashed by this tiny bundle of babeness. Zhang should really play more bad girls; she’s got that lip sneering thing down pat.
You probably didn’t know who Linda Fiorentino was until she totally killed in the John Dahl sexy noir thriller “The Last Seduction”. Fiorentino played a woman who could wrap any man between her fingers and make them do just about anything she wanted. In-between seducing men, she could convince a crack whore that she was a virgin. This is one woman every man wants — until they have her, after which they are dead meat, they just don’t know it.
Until next time, geeks!
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