Vending machines are a college student’s best friend. Where else are you gonna go for a quick lunch in-between classes? What, the school cafeteria, where you’ll have to stand in line for 20 minutes just to place your order? The alley between the Chem building and the Pharm building where undergrads give handjobs to student aides for the answers to next week’s pop quiz? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s all about the vending machines. And that’s why, boys and girls, you should never try to jump kick a vending machine. Not only do they not deserve the abuse (having given so much to us already), but you probably won’t win. Let this video be a lesson to you — leave the vending machines alone! God bless them.
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