They’re mothers on TV, and they’re hot. Really, really hot. Real MILFs: Mothers I‘d Like to Frolick (on the beach with). From Raymond’s better half to Mike Seaver’s too-hot mom, this list seeks to explore the Top 10 Hottest Mothers on TV. And we’re not going to cheat and put people who are technically “moms” on TV by the virtue of having kids when they were young, or a single mother, or the girl from “Lost”. These moms are moms, which means more often than not there are more than one kids, and in their ’30s and ’40s. You know, characters who are REAL moms, not TV fake moms that can’t possibly be moms in real life. (And no, I won’t cheat with an animated mom, either.)
#10 Judy Miller (Jami Gertz, Still Standing)
The only thing keeping Jami Gertz’s Judy Miller from being higher on our list is, well, Jami Gertz’s weird dialogue delivery pattern. Listening to that rapid-fire line delivery of hers, you’d think Jami hailed from Brooklyn, New York, when in fact she’s from Chicago, Illinois. Judy Miller also spent too much time in that dentist’s uniform, and never really showed off the sex appeal that we’re all used to from “Less Than Zero”. Although the fat husband was funny, Jami Gertz is basically the only reason I ever watched this show when I run across it while channel surfing.
#9 Tami Taylor (Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights)
Connie Britton’s mom on “Friday Night Lights” has only one daughter, unless you count husband Taylor and all the kids at the high school where she works as a guidance counselor as her kids. Connie has practice playing TV moms, she was also a mom on Season 5 of “24″, and she was just as smoking there. Plus, that Southern accent from such a fiery redhead? Priceless. One of the reasons why I watch “Friday Night Lights” — I mean, besides the cheerleader and the bad girl played by Adrianne Palecki, I mean.
#8 Annie Camden (Catherine Hicks, 7th Heaven)
Is it sacreligious to put Annie Camden, the wife of a minister (okay, so maybe he’s just a TV minister), on this list of TV’s hottest moms? Catherine Hicks definitely qualifies — blond, hot, wife to 20 kids (I think), and a total looker. How do you think she managed to get back into shape after cranking out all those kids? Maybe God lent a hand. He’s been known to, you know. It’s also not hard to imagine that Jessica Biel could have come out of Catherine Hicks. For a pious hottie, Annie Camden is quite the babe.
#7 Claudia Finnerty (Megyn Price, Grounded for Life)
I will admit that I haven’t seen “Grounded for Life” extensively (no surprise, since I don’t think the show lasted all that long, and it kept getting moved around by FOX), but I’ve always loved Megyn Price. She’s always been one of my favorite women on TV, and I just love the combination of sex appeal and homeliness that I think she gives out. Or maybe I just like the way her cheeks look. Soooo sexy.
#6 Kim Warner (Jean Louisa Kelly, Yes Dear)
I love Jean Louisa Kelly. I love that slim frame of hers, the frizzy hair, and that sly smile/smirk/grin that she showcases in just about every episode of “Yes Dear”. Speaking of which, how awful as “Yes Dear”? The guy who plays Greg, Kim Warner’s husband, was so frakkin’ annoying. What a whiny biotch. But anyways, nevermind the husband, this Top 10 List is all about the wives, and you would be hardpressed to find a hotter mom on TV than Kim Warner. Favorite episode? The one where the neighborhood women got angry at Kim for being the neighborhood’s hottest mom.
#5 Maggie Seaver (Joanna Kerns, Growing Pains)
Career woman, mother to three very quarrelsome kids, and soon to be politician, there’s nothing Maggie Seaver couldn’t do back when “Growing Pains” ruled the airwaves. Like the tykes of “Family Ties”, the oldest son got most of the good lines and all of the storylines, but a smart-alecky son is only as good as his too-hot mom. Joanna Kerns has gone on to direct and work consistently in TV, but for my money her glory days on “Growing Pains” is what great TV is all about. Plus, Joanna Kerns is just so gosh darn hot.
#4 Samantha Stephens (Elizabeth Montgomery, Bewitched)
She’s a witch, she has unlimited powers, she can do just about anything she can think of with her with powers, but she’s willing to do everything to please her dork of a human husband! Basically, the greatest wife in the history of witch-human marriage. As played by Elizabeth Montgomery, there’s very few TV moms that can literally generate heat onscreen just by twitching her nose. As a testiment to Elizabeth Montgomery’s greatness as Samantha, the TV movie with Nicole Kidman tanked faster than Paris Hilton falling to her knees.
#3 Cheryl (Courtney Thorne-Smith, According to Jim)
Courtney Thorne-Smith and “According to Jim” arrived on TV at the same time as a glut of family-themed sitcoms that paired a really hot young wife and mother with a really ugly and fat husband. You had your “According to Jim”, your “Still Standing”, and pretty much every other TV sitcom starring a comedian, which was a lot. Of all those shows, “According ot Jim” seems to be one of the only ones to survive the purge, and I like to believe it’s owed in some part to Courtney Thorne-Smith’s inherent motherly hotness.
#2 Deborah Barone (Patricia Heaton, Everybody Loves Raymond)
You can’t go wrong with slotting Patricia Heaton’s Deborah Barone either at #2 or #1, but because of my fondness for “Family Ties”, Deborah Barone will have to settle for second place this time around. Mind you, not that Patricia Heaton is second to any TV mother. The best part of Deborah was how hot she got as the show progressed, as if Patricia Heaton simply got hotter and hotter as she got older and older. Which is pretty cool, if not totally impossible, but there you have it. Take a look at the first season of “Everybody Loves Raymond”, and then tune in to the last few seasons, and you’ll see what I mean.
#1 Elyse Keaton (Meredith Baxter, Family Ties)
How hot was Alex P. Keaton’s mom? So hot that you could believe a woman this pretty could be a free love hippie and at the same time the mother of capitalist pig Alex P. Keaton. That’s how hot Meredith Baxter was on “Family Ties”. Yes, Michael J. Fox stole the show, and maybe daughter Mallory got the boys all afluttered, but I only watched “Family Ties” for Elyse Keaton. Maybe it’s the product of boyhood nostalgia, but for my money Elyse Keaton was, is, and will always be the Hottest Mother on TV of All Time.
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