In This Week’s “Duh” News: Jessica Alba is Engaged to Cash Warren
When we heard that Jessica Alba had gotten herself knocked up by Cash Warren, was there any surprise that we would hear about an engagement soon enough? Well it’s happened. Jessica Alba’s people have confirmed that the two are engaged, which is like a burglar breaking into your house, and then stopping to ask if he could take your stereo. My prediction for a divorce is two years from now if they stay away from each other enough, but one year if they continue to see too much of each other. I mean, come ON, do you really think this is going to last? There’s as much chance of that as there is a chance of ME dating Jessica Alba.
More: Celebrity Weddings, Jessica Alba