Kids Want Jessica Alba to be their Substitute Teacher

And I want her to be my private substitute teacher. You know, like in those ’80s teen sex comedies, where the kid’s parents hire a really hot foreign teacher to teach him French, and instead they end up Frenching on the couch? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! But anyways, in a National Education Association online poll conducted a little whiles back, 46% voted Jessica Alba as “the most wanted celebrity as their substitute teacher.” Now I don’t know what the hell Jessica Alba is going to teach them, as I don’t think she even finished High School, or if she did, she probably doesn’t remember it. But really, does substitute teachers teach anything? They just sit at their desk and make you re-read the same thing you read with your real teacher for the last week. Plus, Jessica Alba is really hot and in the end, isn’t that the best quality for a teacher?

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