Your Random Model of the Day is one Valeria Dos Santos, who I’m going to guess by her name that she hails from Down South. I could be wrong, of course, but I’m probably not. When it comes to geography, I’m up there with the masters like Picasso and you know all those other guys that paint. Anyways, Valeria Dos Santos sure looks mighty good doing the modeling thing, but of course if she didn’t, she wouldn’t end up working as a model. Which, now that I think about, kinda makes what I said about her looking good somewhat redundant. Oh well. Please to ogle.
What other job in human history would let you lay down on your back, tilt your head back, and make buttloads of money? Okay, so there’s one OTHER job that does that, but it probably doesn’t pay nearly as well as supermodeling. Plus, there are no pimps to worry about, unless you consider agents to be pimps, which, I guess when you think about it, they sorta are. Huh. Anyways, definitely less bruises and KY jelly involved, though, I’m sure of that. Here’s starting your Monday with Pania Rose laying down on the job. She can lay down in my basement anyday. I have a couch and everything.
Who is Phoebe Price, you ask? Well I don’t know either, but according to Wikipedia, she’s an actress and model who has appeared in The X-Files, Arliss, and starred in the direct-to-DVD movie “The Junkyard Willie Movie: Lost in Transit”, which I think you’ll agree was a diamond in the direct-to-DVD rough. Okay, so I haven’t seen it yet, but after spotting Phoebe Price in these bikini pics, you can be rest assured I’m running out and getting a copy later today. Or steal it from my next door neighbor. He never pays attention anyways. Check out Phoebe and her bikini hotness. And she’s a redhead, too. Double yum.
You don’t need me to tell you that former “X-Men” star Anna Paquin is all grown up. If you’ve seen any episodes of the HBO vampire show True Blood, you already know that. On the show, Anna Paquin plays the love interest to a vampire, and things get a little, well, horizontal on the show. What I’m trying to say is, it’s HBO, and Anna shows pretty much everything on the show, including vampire-on-human action. It’s all pretty hot, I gotta say. Anyways, here’s Anna Paquin in Self Magazine, showing off her bikini body. Okay, the last pic isn’t a bikini pic, but look, her legs are in the air. I mean, damn, that’s worth it, right?
You know, I don’t think I’ve actually ever ate at a Carl’s Jr. joint. I mean, I don’t think there’s even one where I live, and it’s not like I live in the sticks or anything. We’re a pretty metropolitan place where I reside, this place I call home. Maybe that explains why I’ve never actually seen a Carl’s Jr. commercial on TV, cause we don’t have one, and whenever I hear about a new outrageous Carl’s Jr. burger commercial, it’s always on the news. The latest has Audrina Patridge in a bikini eating a burger. Does she really eat a burger, Carl Jr.’s or otherwise? Doubtful. But since she’s in a bikini, I’m willing to believe her. I’m easy that way.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: foreigners are just so much better at exploiting their former beauty queens than we yanks are. Hell, it’d take a scandal for us to finally convince one of our beauty queens to do a Maxim or one of those mags. Not so with the Europeans. Here’s our Random Foreign Babe of the Day, the former 2004 Miss Belgium Ellen Petri. As you can see, there was a reason she won the Miss Belgium title a few years ago, and no, I’m not talking about her personality or her correct answers to stupid, pointless questions.
The jury’s still out on whether British babe Sienna Miller can actually act, but you know what’s not in doubt? That is one fine looking British lass you got there. Add to that nice bod the spitfire attitude and devil-may-care personality, and you got a pretty winning fantasy date in Sienna Miller. Sure, you probably won’t want to bring her home to momma, but there’s nothing that says you gotta take the girl home, right? Definitely high maintenance, I would imagine, but for a week or two, man, that might possibly be the best time of your life. Anyhoo, I’m daydreaming again. Sienna Miller bikini pics below.
Never heard of model Denise Milani? Shame on you. Take a look at these pictures and just you try to forget the name Denise Milani ever again. Lovely face, lovely physique, gorgeous curves, and oh yeah, the sizable chest doesn’t hurt, either. But for the purposes of this post, it’s all about how she fills out those jeans, which she does admirably. As in, insanely hot. Jeans were made to be worn by girls like this. Check out more pics at the lovely lass’s
So actress Anna Faris (you remember her, the blonde cutie from the “Scary Movie” movies?) recently eloped with some guy who isn’t anywhere in her league, and the duo went to Hawaii for their honeymoon. That means, of course, beach bikini pics from Anna Faris. Now the worst part about this? The fact that Anna Faris has married a guy who isn’t anywhere in her league, and just how often do you think the poor dude will be hearing this from this point on? Everytime people see the two together, all people will be thinking is, “Look, he’s so not in her league”. Then again, he gets to hit that ass at night, so maybe being mocked by the world is a small price to pay.
Being leggy is kinda a prerequisite for being a model. As for supermodels, well, you gotta be even taller than the average bear. Or, er, Brazilian I guess you would say, being that half of every supermodel out there are Brazilians. Adriana Lima is one such Brazilian bear, if by “bear” you mean really super hot girl from places overseas. This Monday is brought to you by Adriana Lima and her amazing legs. Not sure how long those stems are, but they sure are mighty long, and we likey very muchy.
This week’s weekend sendoff is courtesy of lingerie model Valeria Dos Santos, who would like to thank you for all your hard work throughout the week. Who knows, maybe one of these days you’ll finally get that promotion to assistant manager you’ve been eyeballing like a fat kid eyeballs a cake at a birthday party, but is too afraid to touch it for fear he’ll eat the whole thing and not leave any for everyone else, thus resulting in a beating. Anyways, where was I? Oh right. Here’s Valeria Dos Santos to send you off in style. Or not so much, if you work at McDonalds.
Because Tuesday is known for only two things, work and working, here is some Kristen Bell to lighten up your work load. Don’t blame me if it builds up another load. I’m talking about all your coca cola intact, of course, which you’ll be drinking way too much off because you’re trying to cool yourself down after gawking at these bikini pictures of Kristen Bell. No idea where she is or what’s going on, but it’s Kristen Bell, it’s bikinis, it’s at the beach, and that’s good enough for me. I’m easy to please that way. All the girls say so, just ask them. Better yet, don’t.
You know, I used to think that Twitter was bullshit. I mean, come on, do you really care what 99.9% of these people who are tweeting on a daily basis are doing hour to hour? Then the celebrities came along, and suddenly Twitter became THE destination to tell all their fans about what they’re doing, where they’re going, and what color their latest bikini is. Such as Jewel, who twittered this bikini pic of herself. Man, I love Twitter. As that Borat guy would say, eeees nice!
This Monday is brought to you by Amy Smart in a bikini from an appearance in Shape Magazine from 2005. I had no idea Shape Magazine was around since 2005, but hey, always nice to know one of the best magazines out there has been convincing hot celebs to strip down into a bikini for a while now. Amy Smart, of course, is the star of “Crank” and its sequel, and was in the horror movie “Mirrors”. She hasn’t really broken into the American consciousness yet, but one assumes it’s only a matter of time. Hot women with acting talent should not be ignored, America! Anyhoo. Check her out in a bikini from Shape.
Let’s face it, most models these days got the job because they’re tall and skinny, even though they have the body of a 12-year old boy and an even less impressive rack. You can’t say that to our Weekend Send-off, the gorgeous Dutch model Doutzen Kroes. Take a look at that body and tell me she’s never seen the inside of a gym before, and I’ll call you a liar. Not sure who the guy is in one of the pic, I could do without him, but eh, beggars can’t be choosers. Bikinis by Calvin Klein. Rockin’ body by Doutzen Kroes.
Just once, I’d like to see a picture where Gisele Bundchen doesn’t look like she’s ready to climb on a fashion runway and strut her stuff for a gazillion bucks a second. Oh who am I kidding. No I don’t. What am I, suddenly gay? Cause I’m not, you know. Which is why I can easily drool over these pictures of Gisele Bundchen in some Victoria’s Secret commercial outtakes. No idea what she’s selling here, but I’m guessing bra or panties or underwear of some sort. Cause, you know, that’s what VS sells. Anyways, where was I? Oh right, Gisele Bundchen brings the Thursday sexiness like it’s going out of style.

8 July 2009
Random Model of the Day, Valeria Dos Santos