Get a good seat, boys and girls, because the Britney Spears Train Wreck continues unabated, and it’s just about to reach yet another zenith. New comes out of L.A. late Friday that Britney Spears has been charged by the Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office with hit-and-run and driving without a valid driver’s license. Apparently Brit Brit, as she likes to be called, can’t drive worth a damn, and hit a parked car before taking off. Apparently she didn’t think anyone would know, but oh how wrong she was. So what kind of penalties will she face if (and that’s a big IF) convicted? Well the maximum fine L.A. can lay on her is six months in jail and a $1,000 fine, but I doubt if that’ll happen, if the precedence set by Hollywood Train Wrecks like Lindsay Lohan and her ilk are any indication. It’s L.A., baby, don’t try to figure it out.
Adult film actress Jenna Jameson would like you to know that, despite the fact that she makes a living having sex with strange men (or at least she used to; she’s retired, so I hear), that doesn’t mean she loves our troops any less. In fact, Jenna Jameson is so for the troops that she recently attended a USO “Support the Troops” function in Washington, looking extremely good and not all that skinny. I don’t know if she’s put on a little bit of (much needed) weight, or if the dress is hiding the skin and bones, but I gotta say, after seeing these pictures, I now remember what I, and every men out there, saw in her when we ran out and bought all her movies the moment they came out. Let’s hope she keeps it up!
You gotta love Kristen Bell — and if you don’t, you’re a big jackass. She’s a cool chick who just happens to be uber hot as well, and she’s into geeks. Or at the very least, she doesn’t mind geeks, which makes her personality a major plus. (Aside from the hot looks and sexy body, I mean.) Besides putting her fanboy bona fides to work by starring in the fanboy-themed movie “Fanboys”, Kristen will be forever inserted into the hearts and minds of geeks everywhere when she shows up in the second season of Heroes on NBC. What says geek more than being on a show about superheroes? Here’s Kristen Bell in Geek Magazine. (And you didn’t think there was any theme to my constant mention of geek. For shame.)
The only time I ever bother tuning into the CW is when Supernatural is on, and even then I rarely know when it’s on. (I think it’s on on Wednesdays, but don’t hold me to it.) But the CW is starting to fill their programming with some hot numbers, including Blake Lively, who is one of the stars of the terribly named Gossip Girl. It sounds awful, I know, the kind of stuff that the same screaming teens that watch MTV’s Total Request Live will eat up, but everyone will tune in and be totally dumbfounded by. Then again, I could be wrong and the whole thing might turn out to be really great. It doesn’t hurt to have a hot number like Blake Lively to liven the show up, that’s for sure.
Besides being a fetching French lass, Cecile Cassel is also the sister of actor Vincent Cassel, which makes her the step-sister of Monica Bellucci, the Italian bombshell turned Italian-French bombshell. What exactly does that have to do with the rising price of rice in China? Well for one if you were looking for wet fantasy material, you couldn’t go wrong with cooking up a scenario where Monica is home alone when Cecile shows up to see her brother, and one thing leads to another and — well, you know where I’m going with this, don’t you? Here’s Cecile Cassel, our Random Foreign Babe of the Day.
So I finally got around to watching the comedy hit Knocked Up, and yeah, it was as riotously funny (God I hate it when people say that) as people keep telling me, I’ll grant you that, and Katherine Heigl, the star of the movie, is pretty hot in it. But you know what? The babe that really caught my attention was Leslie Mann, who plays the older sister to Heigl. The character provides the film with a lot of its comedy, and Leslie Mann is just smoking hot throughout the movie, even though she was playing a mid-30s housewife with two kids and Paul Rudd for a husband. I’m telling you, Leslie Mann is a definite keeper, so look forward to seeing more of her here.
Yeah, yeah, I know Miss South Carolina Caitlin Upton isn’t exactly the brightest bulb in the bunch, but I don’t care what anyone says, I’m still pro Caitlin Upton, if only because she’s really, really cute, and I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. Basically, yeah, that’s my only qualifications for being either pro or against someone. So I’m superficial. What of it? Anyways, I think people should give her a break. Sure, she got that infamous question really, really, REALLY wrong, but the girl is only human, and didn’t someone really smart say to err is to be human? And again, she’s really hot.
The only thing stopping Dannii Minogue from gaining just the same height of fame as sister Kylie? Well, I don’t know. They basically look so alike they could practically be twins. Which is a really sexy if you think about it, especially when Dannii Minogue is decked out in a black two-piece bikini like she is in these pictures. So imagine, going to Australia, meeting one sister, and then another shows up, and they look alike, and they’re both hot, which makes them triple hot if my math is correct, and I’m sure it is. (I got a C in it and stuff. That’s like, almost an A. Or stuff.) But in any case, I don’t know if sister Dannii will ever gain the same level of fame as sister Kylie, but in my book, and more importantly my fantasies, they’re numbers #1 and #1A.
The thing about Jessica Simpson? I don’t know if she’s so smart that she’s willing to play on her “dumb blonde” persona to make some cash in the movies and in commercials, or if she’s so stupid that she doesn’t know she’s parodying her own “dumb blonde” image. Then again, considering that she makes more money in a week than I do a decade, I’m gonna have to lean toward the former. In Major Movie Star, Jessica Simpson plays a has-been actress who gets humiliated, ends up in a car accident, and then wanders into an Army recruiting office and joins the Army. If I had to predict that happens next, she’ll end up learning the value of herself and become a good person and all that good, Disney-esque crap. Here’s Jessica Simpson on the set of her movie looking drunk, sloshed, and down-and-out. But strangely, still hot?
I’ve been confessing it since the beginning and I’ll confess it again now — I still don’t get the vast popularity of Eva Mendes. Sure, she’s an attractive girl, and according to this picture, she’s got some rockin’ cleavage going on, but can anyone honestly tell me Eva Mendes is a good actress? Then again, this is Hollywood we’re talking about, so being “good” is highly subjective. Carmen Electra, for example, isn’t good at anything except being Carmen Electra, and she’s still working. And don’t even get me started on the delicous Jessica Alba. But in any case, here’s Eva Mendes adding to our ever expanding entry of celebrity cleavage. Mama mia I want to get lost in those fluffy pillows…
So who is Wanda Nara, our Latin Flavor for the day? I’m not sure, but it sure looks like she’s liking that microphone! Hey, maybe it’s not so strange. Once I developed a very unhealthy fixation with a pencil, and started chewing and chewing and chewing until there was nothing left but a stump. It was kind of disturbing, actually, but I guess that’s what Wanda Nara must be feeling toward this microphone she’s introducing to her mouth and lips and tongue and — oh my. Anyways, I don’t know the first thing about Wanda Nara, but she sure looks good, and basically that’s enough for us. Enjoy.
Let’s face it, guys, there isn’t a woman out there who can be called more perfect than Marisa Miller. The woman is so perfect she went from modeling failed magazines to doing supermodel runway work to wowing in the pages of Sports Illustrated. But of course being perfect means it sucks when she puts on too much clothes because we’ve already seen just how good she looks without them. And when it comes to Marisa Miller, “too much” is basically anything thicker than a two-piece bikini. So here’s Marisa Miller somewhere doing something looking good even with way too much clothes on. But you know what? She still looks damn good anyway, which says a lot about her.
Despite being in a major Hollywood movie like Ocean’s 13, Noureen DeWulf hasn’t really taken off in mainstream America. Hopefully that’ll change when her slew of movies come out in 2007. I mean, damn, the woman has more movies coming out than Angelina Jolie. Okay, maybe not. Angelina does like 50 movies a month, so I don’t think anyone can beat that girl. Here’s a little bit more about Noureen DeWulf from her IMDB page: Attended Boston University’s School of the Arts and was ranked #100 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list. Well, hey, 100 ain’t so bad. We would personally have given her 50. Maybe next year…
If you’re like me (that is, always on the lookout for hot chicks), then I think you’ll agree that you can never enough of Carla Gugino. And Carla Gugino in a red dress? That’s like dying and going to Heaven, then finding out that Heaven is actually Carla Gugino’s bedroom. Here’s Carla somewhere doing something recently looking smoking as usual. I’m telling you, why this woman isn’t a bigger movie star is a mystery to me. But maybe her stint as a ball-busting agent in Entourage will change all that. One can only hope, because I’d sure like to see more of Carla on the big screen doing the sexy thing.
I guess when my fifth grade teacher told me that I couldn’t expect to make a good living by acting like a jackass, she was wrong, because the guy that plays Borat does exactly just that, and he doesn’t just make a good living, he’s going home to the ridiculously smoking hot Isla Fisher! Damn Mrs. Jefferson. I knew she didn’t know what the hell she was talking about, and should have stuck to teaching math while I stuck to acting like a jackass. Who knows what could have happened? I could have parlayed my fifth grade jackass tricks into a Borat-like success. Or at least, get me some model/actress tail.
Why can’t people leave poor Vanessa Anne Hudgens alone? It was bad enough that those private nude photos of hers got splashed all over the world, including every magazine, newspaper, Internet site, and “respectable” TV news channel in the world, but now she’s being sued! The
Wasn’t it only just yesterday that lovely young Anna Paquin won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for The Piano? Remember when she bounced up onto the stage and gave that cutesy thank you? Well forget about all that stuff, because Anna Paquin is all grown up, and she’s become an incredibly lovely young woman. Here’s Anna in a fantastic white gown at an Emmys Party held by cable channel HBO. Tell me she doesn’t look like a million bucks? Forget about it. I’m going with a billion bucks. Not every child actor grows up hot, but Anna Paquin has grown up both hot and classy if these pictures are any indication. And she’s only 25, boys, there are plenty of more to come from Anna…

24 September 2007
Britney Spears, Hollywood Mugshots