The 300 Spartans + 5 Uber Losers = 305 Spartans
Remember the Zack Snyder movie about the 305 Spartans, based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller? Wait, did I say 305? Yes, that’s right. There were actually 305 Spartans that went to meet Xerxes as Thermypolae that fateful day, and while the rest fought Xerxes’ Immortals, five were tasked with guarding that goat path that could, if discovered, spell doom for the Spartan campaign. This is their story.
More Sarita Stella!!!!!!!!
Why post more of Sarita Stella? Well, you see, hot girls are like hot dogs. One hot dog is pretty good, right? (Especially with the right condiments. Your choice, of course.) So if one hot dog, with the right condiments tastes mighty fine, why stop at just one? Why not grab another one, and another, and another? Well, it’s like that with hot girls. Except exchange the dog for a girl, and replace the bun with a bikini. And you have Sarita Stella in a series of bikini pictures. (Did I justify this post or did I justify this post? Damn I’m good.)
Kelly Ripa Bikini Pictures
These old, but nevertheless gorgeous bikini pictures of a gorgeous Kelly Ripa walking gorgeously (are you starting to see a trend here?) along a beach in a two-piece bikini isn’t really nothing surprising, since I think we all knew that Kelly Ripa had THIS in her. Then again, I’m not sure if that gorgeous body is the product of a stringent exercise regime, or just the byproduct of Ripa having 10 jobs at a time. What I’m trying to say is, the woman is way too attractive to be working way too hard. What’s the point of being hot if you don’t use it to make men do the work for you?
George Clooney’s 3 Favorite Things Are …
What, you don’t know what George Clooney’s three favorite things are? How dare you! Everyone should know, because frankly, if not for George Clooney, this world would be a poor, poor world for it. (Or something to that effect.) In any case, the guys over at Cracked.com recently asked George Clooney to list his three most favorite things in the world, and guess what, he did! (Well, he didn’t, but you know what I mean. Just pretend he did. The article is frakkin’ funny.) First on George’s list? Snowmobiles.
Rockets Center Yao Ming to Marry Ye Li!
Can it be? Is the gentle giant finally going to tie the knot and produce (one presumes) little bouncy 7-foot tall todders? Possibly. A Chinese site claims that Houston Rockets manager Daryl Morey has said that Yao Ming and Ye Li, a fellow basketball star on the Chinese women’s national team, will tie the knot sometime in August when the duo have finished their respective commitments. (Yao to the Houston Rockets, and Li to the Chinese National Team.) I’m not sure how big (tall) Ye Li is, but from the picture of the two of them together (below), they’re gonna produce giant babies! (Well, tall ones, anyway.)
Cameron Diaz Apologizes to Peru for Mao Bag
So the lesson here is, “Don’t piss off the people of Peru.” Which would work, but I prefer this other one: “Don’t be such a ditzy blonde, Cameron Diaz.” A couple of days after ticking of Peru by carrying around a trendy Chinese Mao bag, Cameron Diaz apologized to the AP in a written statement. It read: “I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”
Joss Stone Denies Prince William Romance
Prince William wishes he could tap that Joss Stone booty, so says Joss Stone’s representative in response to rumors of a possible romance between the 25-year old British Prince and the 20-year old British soul singer. Apparently the only time the two talked was over the phone about what songs Stone will be singing at the concert held in honor of William’s late mother, Princess Diana. Personally I think William’s people is floating the rumors. Seriously, what 25-year old warm-blooded Brit boy wouldn’t want to tap THAT ass? As evidence, see pictures below.
And 2007’s World’s Ugliest Dog is … Elwood!
Good God, that IS the world’s ugliest dog. Seriously, who would own a dog that looks like this; but even more interestingly, who would CLAIM to own a dog that looks like this? (And if what they say about a dog looking like their owner is true… BRRRRRRRRRRRRR) Elwood’s owner is one Karen Quigley (you just knew it had to be a chick, didn’t you?), who hails from New Jersey, and has the distinction of owning (much to her giddy delight, including a $1000 prize money) 2007’s ugliest dog, a crown bestowed on the fugly canine last Friday.
Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures
After blasting onto the screen in 1999’s “American Beauty”, I think everyone figured Mena Suvari was on her way to greatness. That hasn’t turned out to be the case. Post-”Beauty”, Mena has starred in a number of Hollywood movies, but eventually found herself doing “indie” films. More recently, she’s done “Factory Girl”, “The Dog Problem”, and “Brooklyn Rules”. Yeah, not exactly high-profile stuff. Then there’s that dreaded “Day of the Dead” remake, which according to every review I’ve read, is sure to suck donkey balls. Anyways, here’s Mena Suvari in an itty bitty black bikini at the beach with a beau.
Eva Longoria Dances on Dancing with the Stars
I must be the only one in America who doesn’t “get” the popularity of “Dancing with the Stars”. I mean, it’s a Reality TV competition show consisting of has-been stars (and some never stars) trying to win a dancing competition. And the prize is…? Um, I don’t know. I don’t think there even is a prize except the right to say, “Yeah, I won ‘Dancing with the Stars’.” And then? Um, nothing, probably. Well, anyways, my inability to “get” Dancing with the Stars aside, Eva Longoria was recently on it and made quite an impression. Here she is on stage with, if I’m not mistaken, Mario Lopez.
Sunday Treat: Keeley Hazell Classes Up
Well well, look who survived her recent sextape scandal without a single scratch on her. Then again, we are talking about Keeley Hazell, who spends her time taking her clothes off for the camera, so how exactly was the existence (and oft-seen!) sextape supposed to “hurt” her career? Exactly. Since it’s Sunday, and Sundays are in general very slow and boring days, here’s a nice Sunday Treat to get you through it and onto Monday, which as we all know is the best day of the week. Right? Um, nevermind. Keeley Hazell Sunday Treat it is!
Cameron Diaz Angers Peru with Mao Bag
Most people will find fault with Cameron Diaz in this news story, but me, I think it’s just the product of an uneducated actress who doesn’t know her Mao Zedong from her Sun Tzu. In a recent trip to Peru, Cameron Diaz carried a trendy purse with Communist China’s Mao Zedong’s favorite slogan emblazon on the side. It read: “Serve the People” in Chinese. Of course I know Diaz doesn’t speak or read Chinese, and I’m pretty sure she can’t find China on the map anywhere, or know the difference between Mainland China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. So I’m going to forgive her for this politically incorrect oops.
Nobody Wants to Pay Paris for an Interview — Except CNN?
Paris Hilton is due to be released from the slammer this upcoming Tuesday, after serving 23 days of her original 45-day sentence, thanks to “good behavior”. Basically, because she didn’t shank anyone, apparently, is enough to warrant “good behavior” in Los Angeles. (Is it any wonder O.J. was found not guilty of slaughtering two people? It’s L.A., baby, don’t try to make sense of it.) So this means the networks are lining up to interview Paris, right? Well, not really. After NBC got called out on trying to pay Paris $1 million for a sit-down interview, they have since gone into hiding, claiming the offer was never out there, and now ABC has gotten caught trying to do the same.
Angry Pimp vs. Karate Master — WHO YA GOT??
I love SpikeTV. You can catch all kinds of crazy real-life amateur videos of some insane stuff, like wacky sports to police chases to an angry pimp trying to get it on with a karate master in the street. Wait, what’s that? That’s right: an angry black pimp, not enamored with a karate instructor who told him to stop beating up one of his girls, goes in for the kill when the karate instructor — well, see for yourself. It’s like watching Paris Hilton trying to take on Chuck Norris, and you know Chuck Norris don’t take that crap.
Start it up with Jade Jagger
How does anyone that comes out as a result of Mick Jagger’s seed gets to look like Jagger? (Her full name is Jade Sheena Jezebel Jagger, BTW. Pretentious enough for ya?) But I know what you’re thinking: “The mom must be hot!” Um, have you SEEN Bianca Jagger? No, she’s not. So how does such a hot piece of you know what come out as the product of a union between two such ordinary (and dare I say it, slightly ugly) people? I mean, DAMN. Anyways, Jade Jagger has put modeling into the past and is working on her new lifestyle line Jezebel. If it looks anything like the creator, I’m buying.
Brit Babe Invasion: Romola Garai
You gotta love the Brits. Only they could come up with a name like “Romola” for their daughter. See, an American couple coudl NEVER come up with something like that. The most creative an American mom and dad could do is name their kid a generic name, but spell it differently in a pathetic attempt to be different. It’s pathetic, really. Wait, where was I? Oh, right, our Brit Babe Invasion of the day is Romola Garai, who I first saw in 2003’s “I Capture the Castle” with another favorite of mine, Rose Byrne. You can see Romola in 2007’s “Atonement” with Keira Knightley very soon.
Some Ali Larter Goodness for the Weekend
Hey, “Heroes” fans. You may or may not have heard, but your favorite TV show has already started shooting, which means you’ll get more Ali Larter kicking serious ass very soon. Because let’s face it, there is only one resident babe on “Heroes”, and it’s Ali Larter. Sure, people go nuts for Hayden Panettiere, but she’s got nothing on Ali. It’s like comparing apples to oranges, if apples were chop liver and oranges were stake, in which case Ali Larter is steak. Um, I think that sorta makes sense. Anyways, some Ali Larter for the weekend.
Hot Top 10: TV’s Hottest Moms
They’re mothers on TV, and they’re hot. Really, really hot. Real MILFs: Mothers I‘d Like to Frolick (on the beach with). From Raymond’s better half to Mike Seaver’s too-hot mom, this list seeks to explore the Top 10 Hottest Mothers on TV. And we’re not going to cheat and put people who are technically “moms” on TV by the virtue of having kids when they were young, or a single mother, or the girl from “Lost”. These moms are moms, which means more often than not there are more than one kids, and in their ’30s and ’40s. You know, characters who are REAL moms, not TV fake moms that can’t possibly be moms in real life. (And no, I won’t cheat with an animated mom, either.)
NBC To Pay Paris Hilton $1 Million for Post-Jail Interview?
Sort of. Well, maybe. But probably not. (Then again, maybe Yes.) But news came out earlier in the week that NBC was going to pay Paris Hilton a whopping $1 million for the hotel heiress’ first post-jail sit-down interview because, you know, Paris has a lot to say, and it’s sure to revolutionize the world. Or maybe not. Yesterday NBC came out and said they weren’t going to shill out any such amounts, that it was all a rumor. But people aren’t buying it, and they’re still saying NBC’s Meredith Viera will do the interview. True? Untrue? Too stupid for words? You decide.
Gabrielle Anwar Gets Burn Notice
I love Gabrielle Anwar. Seriously, I’ve been in love with this woman ever since “Scent of a Woman”. I kept falling in love through “Body Snatchers”, all the way to “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead”, and even during her B-movie days on junk like “Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal”. Now Gabrielle is finally starting to get her due, with roles in “The Tudors” and, upcoming, the USA Network show “Burn Notice”, about an ex-spy stuck in Miami doing private investigator work for money. Gabrielle will play Fiona Glenanne on the show, a tough former IRA chick who likes to blow things up. How hot is that? “Burn Notice” co-stars Jeffrey Donovan and — get this — Bruce Campbell!
