More TRANSFORMERS “Damn That’s Cool” Robot Pictures
Those wacky “Transformers” robots are looking pretty badass lately. The latest pictures of them have been posted on Michael Bay’s official blog here. As before, I find the Optimus Prime robot to be utterly cool, and the Megatron one to be utterly, um, crappy. All the Autobots, in fact, look pretty cool, while the Decepticons really look like not a whole lot of creativity went into them. I mean, damn, most of them just looks like a bunch of metal rods and junk. What’s the deal with that? In any case, “Transformers” opens July 4th.
Stay Inside with Jenna Dewan
Why spend your Summer stewing in your own juices out in the heat when you can be inside sitting in front of your computer gawking at pictures of actress/dancer/uber babe Jenna Dewan (”Step Up”, “Tamara”). Would I have preferred if Jenna was in a two-piece bikini and possibly wet? Why yes. But failing that, these pictures of Jenna Dewan in bed will just have to do. And in fact, they don’t just “do”, they are drool worthy. Don’t say I never gave you guys anything. (Okay, I’m actually not giving you anything per se, but you know what I mean. Don’t you?)
CRANK 2? Only if Amy Smart Comes Back.
This is actually old news (the filmmakers behind the 2006 Jason Statham movie “Crank” are talking about making a sequel), but I didn’t see “Crank” until a while ago, and I have to say, Yeah, I’d go for a sequel but ONLY if Amy Smart’s character comes back and, possibly, takes over the lead. I mean, after all, Statham’s character was last seen falling out of an airplane WITHOUT a parachute, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to come back for the sequel. Unless he was playing his character’s evil brother or doppelganger or something equally cliche. Below are some reasons why only Amy Smart is necessary for “Crank 2″.
George Lucas Pooh-Poohs SPIDER-MAN 3. No, Really.
George Lucas, king of Skywalker Ranch and all that falls onto its property, recently called Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man 3″ a “a silly movie”, and that “there just isn’t much there. Once you take it all apart, there’s not much story, is there?” Well, George, it’s no “Star Wars: Episode 1″, “2″, or “3″, that’s for sure. I mean, shit, George, give us a break. Venom and the Sandman in CGI form emoted better than your direction of Natalie Portman (I still cringe at her Godawful performance) and Hayden Christensen. I mean, hell, George, if not for the fact that you casted really good actors like Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee, et al, your “Star Wars” prequels wouldn’t even rise to the level of a middle school play, acting-wise. But maybe I’m just still pissed at that whole Jar Jar Binks debacle. Holy Mother of God what were you thinking there George?
Latin Flavor: Jackie Urdiales
All I know about Jackie Urdiales is that she’s a Latina (thus her entry in our Latin Flavor category) and that, according to websites around the net, she’s a “Mexican host”. Now what exactly she hosts is anybody’s guess. It could be TV, but IMDB.com doesn’t have her listed anywhere. And then YouTube came to the rescue. Jackie Urdiales is the sassy and sexy host of a TV program called “4Play”, which I believe is some kind of sexual innuendo — or maybe not. You can check out an extensive library of Jackie’s work at YouTube here.
John Woo and Chow Yun Fat: Still BFF?
They came up together. They became internationally famous together. And they even came to Hollywood (and left) together. So can the three-decade long friendship of Hong Kong director John Woo and Hong Kong actor Chow Yun Fat survived the battle that is “The Battle of Red Cliff”, even after Fat pulled out of the movie at the last minute, leaving his best bud hanging over a (ahem) cliff? According to Woo: Yes. Says Woo at a press conference for “Red Cliff” about Fat: “…he’s still one of the actors I admire the most, and my good friend.” Of course it probably helps that having either Chow Yun Fat or Tony Leung as the star of “Battle of Red Cliff” probably isn’t going to do all that much to the movie’s box office; when was the last time Fat opened a movie? Exactly.
Amy Winehouse is NOT Going to be a Bond Girl
Heavily tattooed British songstress chick Amy Winehouse is shooting down rumors that she’s going to be in the next Daniel Craig James Bond movie as was rumored a few days ago. Winehouse said this to MTV: “I’m just not an actress… It can’t be true.” Hey, that’s never stopped Jessica Alba or Eva Mendes. But I digress. Although she will probably not be IN the movie (you gotta respect a woman who recognizes her own limitations), Winehouse is open to contributing to the film’s soundtrack. You can check out Winehouse and gawk at her tattoos when she appears at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards hosted by Sarah Silverman on June 3rd.
Random Supermodel of the Day: Pania Rose
A rose by any other rose is not Pania Rose, our Random Supermodel of the Day in her two-piece bikini best. A native of Perth, Australia, Pania has appeared in Sports Illustrated and walked the fashion runways for Lloyd Klein, Geova, Rebecca Taylor, and Jeremy Scott, and if you know who those four guys/girls/whatever are, then you are wasting your time reading this posting. She stands 5′11″ and fills out a bikini (and the occasional lingerie) like no one’s business. Well, except ours, of course, but that goes without saying, doesn’t it?
Tonight’s Show with Jenya Lano
You have probably never heard of Jenya Lano, which is a real shame, as she’s quite worth knowing more about. The sad part is that had Jenya Lano showed up on the movie scene back in the old days — you know, the ’90s — she would have been in high demand, and taking jobs away from erotic thriller mistresses Shannon Tweed and Shannon Whirry. But alas, I don’t think Jenya Lano ever really “caught on” with movie producers, and besides some sporadic TV work (”Charmed”, “Xena”) she’s mostly been confined to little-known and seen B-movies like “Ghost Rock” (a western!) and “Stealing Candy” (an erotic thriller). Here’s hoping for bigger and better things for Jenya Lano.
Allison Stokke: Reluctant Internet Hottie
You spend all your life learning how to pole vault as best as you can, and then someone posts a picture of you on the Internet, and before you know it, you’re a reluctant Internet hottie. Such is the life for soon-to-be Cal University pole vaulter Allison Stokke. When interviewed by the Washington Times about her sudden notoriety on the net, Stokke, 18, replied, “It all just feels really demeaning.” Besides the pictures of the attractive High School track star, there are also videos of her plying her pole vaulting trade on numerous sites, including YouTube (below).
Ethan Hawke to Star in Aussie Vampire Flick DAYBREAKERS
I will first admit that I was somewhat let down (nay, I was very disappointed) by the cliche and very poorly written nature of Australian filmmakers Spierig Brothers’ debut film, the zombie/alien/sci-fi/horror film “Undead”. I went into it expecting a great movie and got a film filled to the brim with some of the most annoying characters I’ve ever encountered in my life. So I’m hoping for something better, or at the very least, less annoying characters in the Brothers’ follow-up, the vampire flick “Daybreakers”. To start things off, they’ve landed a fantastic and credible actor in Ethan Hawke, says The Hollywood Reporter. With Hawke onboard, the Brothers should be able to get more good actors, so maybe we’ll be spared the terrible over-acting that was so damaging to “Undead”.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker To Do G-Rated “Giant Monsters Attack Japan!”
Not content to rot the minds of impressionable children and gullible adults such as myself, Matt Stone and Trey Parker will now be attacking Japan in “Giant Monsters Attack Japan!” (Gee, I wonder what the movie will be about?) Via the L.A. Times, apparently “Giant Monsters Attack Japan!” (I frakkin love that title!) will be the boys’ first G-rated anything, and will be based on the script by J.F. Lawton, who is apparently obsessed with Japan. (Check out his 1996 movie “The Hunted” with Christopher Lambert, about ninjas and Samurais dueling in modern times. It’s great stuff.)
It’s Too Hot Outside: Danielle Lloyd in Maxim
Continuing our “It’s too hot outside, get your asses back inside” posting, here’s Britain’s fallen beauty queen Danielle Lloyd in a shoot for Maxim Magazine. You get the feeling that losing their crowns was the best thing that ever happened to these ladies? I’m pretty sure even Tara Conner is going to go on to do bigger and better things. And if not, then at least an appearance in Playboy or one of the lad’s mags should brighten our day. But anyways, forget about Tara for a minute, and let’s concentrate on Danielle Lloyd. She could use a little toning up, to be sure, but Miss Lloyd is nevertheless quite a good reason to get out of the summer heat and back inside to the computer.
Tim Roth is The Abomination in THE INCREDIBLE HULK
Variety reports that Tim Roth has joined the cast of Louis Leterrier’s “The Incredible Hulk” alongside star Ed Norton (Bruce Banner) and Liv Tyler (Betty Ross). Blonsky is a KGB agent who deliberately exposes himself to the gamma rays that caused Bruce Banner to morph into the Hulk. Blonsky has upped the dosage, making him larger and stronger than the Hulk, but unable to change back to human form. He blames Banner for his problem, and makes his best efforts to destroy the Hulk. Stupid Russkie.
Three More TERMINATOR Sequels are Coming
Not tired of the “Terminator” movies yet? Yeah, me, either. Mario Kassar and Andy Vajna, the men behind the franchise, have taken the first steps to keeping the franchise alive — they’ve sold it. Now the new owners, The Halcyon Company, have fast-tracked the sequels, with “Terminator 4″ scheduled for Summer 2009. If you’ve seen “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”, you know that the movie left off with a 20-something John Connor in a nuclear bomb bunker as Skynet launched the nukes. I hope they continue from that point on, and doesn’t do something stupid like jump forward or backwards in time. I’m tired of prologues and epilogues; I just want to see this franchise CONTINUE.
Breaking News: Hollywood Open-Minded Liberalism is Bullshit
Ooooh, I’m so shocked. Apparently according to this article, despite the population of the United States consisting of more than 30-percent non-whites, nearly 90-percent of all Hollywood writers are white. This, coming from the land where politically correctness means the only acceptable villain in movies nowadays are Big Business run by Evil White Guys. They are so progressive over there in Hollywood that they still insist on hiring people who looks just like them to write their movies. So the next time Hollywood tries to preach to you about being more “open-minded” or “progressive” (i.e. be more Liberal), tell them to go shove it up their (probably) white ass.
Random Supermodel of the Day: Rie Rasmussen
If you don’t recognize Danish supermodel Rie Rasmussen as a model, you might recognize her as the model who Rebecca Romijn (her best friend) made out with in a bathroom stall in the movie “Femme Fatale”. The whole thing, of course, was to steal the priceless necklace Rie’s character was wearing. Rie Rasmussen is a real renaissance woman, and besides tantalizing men on the runway, she’s also a writer, producer, and director, and in 2005 she starred in French auteur Luc Besson’s “Angel-A”. And did I also mention that she once made out with Rebecca Romijn in a bathroom stall?
Superbike Bikini Babe Leticia Cline
I’ve always loved motorcycles. Owned a couple myself, starting with a 250cc and then graduating to a 600cc. But alas, there wasn’t any money for anything bigger or better, so the 600 Kawasaki was the end of my motorcycling days. But boy, if I could have owned a Ducati, it would have been better than anything in the world. Even better than bikini-clad hottie Leticia Cline, the current Ducati spokesmodel. Besides looking so good in a bikini, the girl has the distinction of being, quite possibly, the hottest certified public accountant…EVER. Or at least, she looks better than my accountant.
Robert Rodriguez to Direct a Live-Action JETSONS Movie?
This is certainly odd, and unexpected news. Apparently Robert Rodriguez, he of the violent crime movies and shoot’em ups, is in talks to direct a live-action big screen version of the “Jetsons” cartoon. Then again, thinking about Rodriguez’s filmography, maybe this isn’t such an odd idea, after all. He has done kid movies before, including his own creation, the “Spy Kids” films, so yeah, this wouldn’t be such a hard thing for Rodriguez to do. He could just go wacky wacky with it the way he did the “Spy Kids” movies. I don’t know about the talking dog, though. Anyways, Rodriguez’s last movie, “Grindhouse”, got massacred at the box office. Hopefully this one will do better.
Jessica Simpson’s Cleavage: Breast Implants or Wonderbra?
Singer, songwriter, actress, MTV reality star, and woman about town Jessica Simpson was somewhere doing something with someone showcasing what can only be called “damn impressive” cleavage. Which led many people on the web to wonder if Jess (as her friends and I call her) had gone under the knife and pumped up those hush puppies. Or are they in fact the product of a wonderfully deceiving wonderbra? If it’s the latter, I am going to be suing someone. What is the deal with these wonderbras? It’s false advertising, I tell ya. I’m going with breast implants, but only because I want to believe. (By the way, I’m not too crazy about the “look” Jess is going for here, either…)
