The Random Stuff of Interests Page

I’ve always thought that Mena Suvari kind of looked like a 12 year old boy. Boys with tiny bumps for breasts, that is. Now I’m sure of it, after seeing these pictures of Mena Suvari pulling a Britney — shaving her head for some unGodly reason. I hope it’s for a movie role, because if not — man, she’s looking pretty freaky. Now I don’t usually mind chicks who shave their heads, but — well, okay, that’s not true. I really do mind chicks who shave their heads. Guys can shave their heads, but NOT women. It’s just not right. Kinda like whenever I walk around my house without my clothes on. It’s just not right! Anyhoo, here’s a bald Mena Suvari dodging the cameras — then later going for a walk on the beach. Um.

You gotta wonder why America hasn’t discovered Caprice Bourret just yet. She’s got all the right ingredients to be a major American model star person — the looks, the face, and God knows she’s got the body. Then again, you only have to “wonder” about this if you’re prone to wondering about things that have nothing to do with you, and which you can’t change, but hey, if you’re that kind of person, you, uh, gotta be wondering. Geez, where is this post going? Anyways, here’s more of Caprice Bourret, because she’s just so hot we must make up for ignoring her for so long.

Mayra Veronica is Cuban, but I believe being Cuban qualifies as being a Latina. And if not — hey, I’m going to make the call that it is, and go with it. Besides looking awfully good in a bikini (gratuitous big butt included), our Mayra Veronica is a model and has appeared in places like FHM, Smooth, and King magazine. And oh yeah, Maxim, Edge, and Open Your Eyes were not far behind. She’s a model, actress, and has been on Univision’s Don Francisco Presenta, which according to my terrible Spanish, means I think means Don Francisco is Cool. But don’t think Mayra is just a pretty face; she’s got a Psychology degree and minor in Theatre from Florida International University. Brains and bootie. Nice!

Look, kids, it’s ABC attempting to spin the Merry Miller travesty into something fun! Oh joy! In the aftermath of Merry Miller’s butchering of an interview with Holly Hunter (see here), ABC News is doing everything it can to try to “deal” with the situation — by making light of it! Even Miller herself has gotten into the act. Gawker says: “In an attempt to make lemonade out of the lemon that was Merry’s interview with Holly Hunter, ABCNewsNow is holding a contest where the “prize” is a guest shot hosting “What’s the Buzz,” the scene of Merry’s famous flameout.” Har har, good try, boys, but everyone recognizes a FUBAR when they see one.

Young Zoe Kravitz is 18 going on 19, but she’s already developing like her mom, Lisa Bonet. The hair is growing in like dad Lenny, but the face is shaping up to be just as pretty as mom in her heyday. (To be fair, Lisa still looks good now.) A model turned actress, you can catch Zoe Kravitz in her first two big movies, “No Reservations” with Catherine Zeta Jones and the upcoming “The Brave One”, the revenge movie with Jodie Foster. And here’s the kicker — she did both movies while she was in high school. That’s right, the girl somehow found time to squeeze in two major Hollywood films into her schedule between graduation, the prom, and SATs! Looks, brains, AND multi-tasking abilities? Damn.

The big news out of Hollywood is that movie star Michelle Pfeiffer has finally gotten her own star on the famous Hollywood walk of fame. Which is a surprise and not so much; actually, until I heard that she was starring in “Stardust”, I didn’t even know Michelle was still a working actress. Big shocker, apparently she was only hibernating, because she’s back with a vengeance, with not one, not two, but three movies to her credit in 2007, including “Stardust”, the fat girl musical “Hairspray”, and something called “I Could Never Be Your Woman”, which I’m guessing is a chick flick. Michelle Pfeiffer used to do a lot of chick flicks back “in the day” (which was a Monday, in case you didn’t know, FYI). Here’s Michelle looking good getting her star. MILF yum yum.

If you’re like me, and you hang around with rich socialites who drinks champagne and dine on caviar, then you’ll no doubt recognize Tamara Beckwith’s last name, and immediately peg her as the daughter of realty king Peter Beckwith. Then again, if you’re one of the peons who have no access to the rich and famous (unlike me, remember), then you won’t have a clue. Oh, you fools! You and your poor selves. Become a rich tycoon and then you’ll know what it’s like to live the good life. Muhahahahahhaha. Ahem. Where was I? Oh right, here’s socialite babe Tamara Beckwith in a two-piece bikini. She looks pretty good for someone born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Then again, I reckon her definition of “hard work” is probably trekking to the tanning salon every day. Oh, the humanity. Nice abs, too.

Hey look, kids, it’s California Stereotype Central — aka the cast of MTV’s “The Hills” Season 3! Yes, that’s right, the Cali girls and their ridiculously inane problems are back. It’s Lauren Conrad fretting about her boy problems, Heidi Montag introducing the gang to her new implants, Whitney Port explaining the magazine business to her buds, and Audrina Patridge getting cozy with Lauren in Heidi’s old pads. Can you say, “Potential lesbian action”? Okay, so you can say that, but it’s probably not gonna happen, which is a damn crying shame. Anyhoo, here are the girls in their show’s Season 3 promos. I gotsa get me to California and hang out in them hills…

I’m torn about these bikini pictures of Geri Halliwell, of Spice Girls fame. (I believe she was Baby Spice. Or maybe she was Sporty Spice. All I know is that the black chick was Scary Spice, and the skinny chick was Posh Spice. Yeah, I’m going with Baby Spice. If I’m wrong — eh.) Anyhoo. I’m torn about these bikini pictures of Geri Halliwell. On the one hand, I’m a sucker for redheads, and Geri has certainly kept herself in shape, which is very respectable for any celebrity. But on the negative side, there’s something weird going on with that tummy. Are those stretch marks? If so, aren’t there surgical procedures one (such as a rich celebrity) could pay to get fixed? Still kinda hot, though. I love the fact that she’s just walking along and paparazzi are snapping pictures of her like bees. What a weird life, huh?

People scoffed at me when I told them that a “perfect girlfriend” did indeed exist, and she wouldn’t care if you were a little bit fat (me), a little bit hairy (me again), watched too much football (soooooo me), and from time to time, journeyed into the dark dens of hell called strip clubs (oh dear god SOOOOO me). In fact, she would PREFER you do all those things, and she would spend all her time in a bra and panties, and she would look so hot in them. Plus, she’d let you do whatever you wanted to her. I’m telling you, guys, this perfect girlfriend DOES in fact exist, and now we have video evidence.

So when did Avril Lavigne gets stacked? And of course by “stacked” I mean, “Dude, did Avril Lavigne get breast implants or is she just showing natural cleavage here”? Of course that generous celebrity cleavage could just be the product of a wonderous wonderbra. In which case, I think men everywhere should band together and make a law banning these wonderbras. I mean, come on, man, it’s like false advertisement! Of course, the superficial part of me wants to believe that Avril Lavigne has gone under the knife and got some breast implants, but the practical side of me knows it’s just the product of a wonderbra. Whatever happened to the days when girls just got implants? Sigh.

So sue me, but the “Rush Hour 3″ trailer looks funny as hell. Yeah, I know Chris Tucker is annoying, and Jackie Chan is getting kinda long in the tooth, but it STILL LOOKS FUNNY. Check out the latest trailer for Tucker and Lee’s third-go-around as partners in crime (or is that partners in coppering?) in “Rush Hour 3″. I hear that the film has been banned in China. Why? Because the Chinese Government sucks eggs, because if you start taking movies like “Rush Hour 3″ seriously enough to ban it, you’re a couple of brain cells short of, well, brains.

I wonder if Natalie Imbruglia wakes up everyday, looks at herself in the mirror, and goes, “Holy Mother of God am I gorgeous.” I mean, seriously, the woman is basically flawless. That face can launch a thousand ships or set off a 10 year war. Forget Helen of Troy, Natalie Imbruglia actually LOOKS like an angel. So what’s Natalie Imbruglia been up to since we saw her in the States doing “Torn” everywhere? I don’t know, I recommend she’s back in Australia or in the UK doing movies and still touring. Just because we in the States don’t hear from her doesn’t mean she’s given up singing. I hope not. She’s got a very good voice, and as mentioned, that face — damn. I’d buy a concert ticket just to see those eyes up close.

How come everytime I turn my back Heidi Klum is getting cozy with another supermodel? Mind you, not that I’m complaining. A few days ago, Heidi was rubbing hot supermodel bodies with Marisa Miller, and today she’s bumping pretties with Tyra Banks. Speaking of which, you have no idea how average Tyra Banks looks until you stand her up against Heidi Klum. I don’t know the age difference between the two women, but I’m willing to bet it took the makeup people a lot longer to make Banks look respectable than it did Klum. One is going to mature hot, and the other? Well, not so much. In any case, you don’t see two supermodels together in such close vicinities very often, so enjoy.

There’s nothing wrong with Jennifer Garner that a divorce from Ben Affleck can’t solve. Of course failing that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Jennifer Garner at all. She’s always been one of my more favorite actresses out there. I just dig her, the way one of my nieces dig eating play dough. (There’s something not right about that kid.) But I digress. Jennifer Garner has a new movie called “The Kingdom” coming out. Hopefully it’ll be a return to glory for Jennifer, who hasn’t exactly been firing on all cylinders with the movie career lately. And my oh my, does she look absolutely stunning in yellow or what? Such a fantastic body. I swear, she could have been a supermodel had she not gone into acting…

If “Grey’s Anatomy” has taught Americans anything, it’s that TV is where we should all go to have our social issues resolved for us. Which is why I’m suggesting we turn our attention to Spain’s hospital drama “Hospital Central”, starring today’s Random Foreign Babe of the Day, Diana Palazon as Doctor Laura Llanos. She’s a Spanish spitfire, she’s brunette, and she’s cute as a cuddly panda. Even cuter, in fact, and I bet if you asked her, she and her fellow fake docs could tell us how to solve our HMO problems. Hey, if you can’t get fake doctors to solve your real-life problems for you, what’s the point in watching them? Exactly.

Get it? Because Latina actress Camille Guaty is one of the stars of FOX’s hit show “Prison Break”? So when I say I’d “break out of prison” for her, I’m actually referring to her show. Oh ho! Yes, folks, it’s that kind of clever play on show titles that keeps the readers coming back. Of course I should have used, “Go the Whole Nine Yards for Camille Guaty”, because Camille Guaty is also in the show “The Nine”, but since that ABC show got cancelled, I decided to use “Prison Break” instead. But, um, that’s in case you wanted to know the genius being my post titles. Now you know. Ahem. Get some Camille Guaty.

Okay, so Caprice Bourret is not actually British. She’s more like — well, she’s actually an American girl, but since she works almost exclusively in the United Kingdom, I’m going to declare that she’s a Brit Babe, even if she’s not TECHNICALLY a Brit. Hey, if you want to get all semantics about it, I’m not technically a human being, either, but I can still fool people into believing it. In any case, it’s been way too long since we’ve ignored the lovely Caprice Bourret, lingerie model, glamour model, and all-purpose hottie from around the way. Or Across the Pond, as it were. (Although, as mentioned, she’s not technically FROM there. Oy, I’m getting a headache.)

I don’t know if Catherine Bell is a scientologist (I could probably find out by Wiki’ing her name, but you know, I’m kind of lazy, it being Monday and all, and the beginning of the week is always Lazy Day as far as I’m concerned), but in any case, since Catherine Bell is attending a Scientology event, I’m going to guess that she is one by default, and go from there. Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Scientology, and in fact, considering all the really attractive people in it, I wish they would accept me as a member. Come on, guys, I believe in alien Gods and whatnot, too! Oh, here’s Catherine Bell at a Scientology hullabaloo looking so good it should be a crime. (Still don’t like the hair, though…)

In case you haven’t heard, the Game Show Network (it’s a cable network dedicated to, what else? game shows, of course) has a brand spanking new show called “Grand Slam”. Besides featuring the mystifying comedy of Dennis Miller, the game’s co-host is one Amanda Byram, a hottie hailing from Ireland. The show itself is pretty cool; basically, they get all the big winners (like Ken Jennings from Jeopardy) from past TV game shows and pits them against one another in a one-on-one duel. The winner advances in a tourney-like structure to the championship. It’s a pretty cool concept, and Amanda Byram makes it worth watching. And yeah, Dennis is funny, too.