The Random Stuff of Interests Page

How come everytime I turn my back Heidi Klum is getting cozy with another supermodel? Mind you, not that I’m complaining. A few days ago, Heidi was rubbing hot supermodel bodies with Marisa Miller, and today she’s bumping pretties with Tyra Banks. Speaking of which, you have no idea how average Tyra Banks looks until you stand her up against Heidi Klum. I don’t know the age difference between the two women, but I’m willing to bet it took the makeup people a lot longer to make Banks look respectable than it did Klum. One is going to mature hot, and the other? Well, not so much. In any case, you don’t see two supermodels together in such close vicinities very often, so enjoy.

There’s nothing wrong with Jennifer Garner that a divorce from Ben Affleck can’t solve. Of course failing that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Jennifer Garner at all. She’s always been one of my more favorite actresses out there. I just dig her, the way one of my nieces dig eating play dough. (There’s something not right about that kid.) But I digress. Jennifer Garner has a new movie called “The Kingdom” coming out. Hopefully it’ll be a return to glory for Jennifer, who hasn’t exactly been firing on all cylinders with the movie career lately. And my oh my, does she look absolutely stunning in yellow or what? Such a fantastic body. I swear, she could have been a supermodel had she not gone into acting…

If “Grey’s Anatomy” has taught Americans anything, it’s that TV is where we should all go to have our social issues resolved for us. Which is why I’m suggesting we turn our attention to Spain’s hospital drama “Hospital Central”, starring today’s Random Foreign Babe of the Day, Diana Palazon as Doctor Laura Llanos. She’s a Spanish spitfire, she’s brunette, and she’s cute as a cuddly panda. Even cuter, in fact, and I bet if you asked her, she and her fellow fake docs could tell us how to solve our HMO problems. Hey, if you can’t get fake doctors to solve your real-life problems for you, what’s the point in watching them? Exactly.

Get it? Because Latina actress Camille Guaty is one of the stars of FOX’s hit show “Prison Break”? So when I say I’d “break out of prison” for her, I’m actually referring to her show. Oh ho! Yes, folks, it’s that kind of clever play on show titles that keeps the readers coming back. Of course I should have used, “Go the Whole Nine Yards for Camille Guaty”, because Camille Guaty is also in the show “The Nine”, but since that ABC show got cancelled, I decided to use “Prison Break” instead. But, um, that’s in case you wanted to know the genius being my post titles. Now you know. Ahem. Get some Camille Guaty.

Okay, so Caprice Bourret is not actually British. She’s more like — well, she’s actually an American girl, but since she works almost exclusively in the United Kingdom, I’m going to declare that she’s a Brit Babe, even if she’s not TECHNICALLY a Brit. Hey, if you want to get all semantics about it, I’m not technically a human being, either, but I can still fool people into believing it. In any case, it’s been way too long since we’ve ignored the lovely Caprice Bourret, lingerie model, glamour model, and all-purpose hottie from around the way. Or Across the Pond, as it were. (Although, as mentioned, she’s not technically FROM there. Oy, I’m getting a headache.)

I don’t know if Catherine Bell is a scientologist (I could probably find out by Wiki’ing her name, but you know, I’m kind of lazy, it being Monday and all, and the beginning of the week is always Lazy Day as far as I’m concerned), but in any case, since Catherine Bell is attending a Scientology event, I’m going to guess that she is one by default, and go from there. Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Scientology, and in fact, considering all the really attractive people in it, I wish they would accept me as a member. Come on, guys, I believe in alien Gods and whatnot, too! Oh, here’s Catherine Bell at a Scientology hullabaloo looking so good it should be a crime. (Still don’t like the hair, though…)

In case you haven’t heard, the Game Show Network (it’s a cable network dedicated to, what else? game shows, of course) has a brand spanking new show called “Grand Slam”. Besides featuring the mystifying comedy of Dennis Miller, the game’s co-host is one Amanda Byram, a hottie hailing from Ireland. The show itself is pretty cool; basically, they get all the big winners (like Ken Jennings from Jeopardy) from past TV game shows and pits them against one another in a one-on-one duel. The winner advances in a tourney-like structure to the championship. It’s a pretty cool concept, and Amanda Byram makes it worth watching. And yeah, Dennis is funny, too.

It’s not enough that Scarlett Johansson has to be a super hot and super talented Hollywood actress desired by men everywhere and envied by women everywhere (and let’s not forget, coveted by she-males everywhere), but she has to do the occasional shilling for high-priced products like Louis Vuitton. Now I don’t know anything about Louis Vuitton, being a warm-blooded heterosexual male and whatnot. (Just go with it, okay?) I mean, come on, I love football, baseball, basketball, and I don’t get into purses and whatnot. At least, I’m assuming that Louis Vuitton is selling purses here. Um, here’s Scarlett Johansson shilling for some LV purses. My girlfriend (and by which I mean, the girl that doesn’t exist) would be so proud of me for making a post about purses.

Gorgeous R&B singer Rihanna has taken the time to grace the cover and pages of Maxim’s September issue. The German version, anyway. I don’t know why the US version didn’t have her on, too, but I guess the Germans just have better tastes. In any case, here’s Rihanna looking very good as per usual in Maxim. You know, it’s not easy to look good in a gold bikini, but Rihanna certainly pulled it off. Of course, being the hottie with a music career that she is, I’m sure she has plenty of gold (or bling, as the kids call it) at home, so she’s probably used to having gold on on a daily basis.

Let’s face it: unless you’re Leonardo DiCaprio or George Clooney, the chances of your weekend sucking out loud is pretty darn good. And since we here at the Random Page are nothing if not caring, we have made this post to send you off into the weekend with a big smile, and hopefully your crappy weekend won’t end up nearly as crappy as it would otherwise. Mind you, I’m not saying your weekend will blow, but come on, you’re not Brad Pitt, and there ain’t no Angelina Jolie waiting at the other end of that phone call. A big fat girl who you can get drunk is your best bet. So here’s some Imogen Thomas to carry you into the weekend. Good luck, boyos.

Kevin Smith is a funny dude. Sure, you might not like any of his movies, but in person, this is one funny dude. And vulgar, too. This video is SOOOO NSFW. So here’s Kevin Smith, at Comic Con (an annual geek event at San Diego), who is taking questions from the audience. This fat white kid with glasses goes up to the stand and dares to ask Smith if he’ll ever do anything original. Smith, of course, answers as if it was a good question, but then quickly rips on the guy’s mom. It goes on for two minutes. Smith is just ripping the guy a new one, and the lesson of the day is: “Never attack a dude with a microphone.” Sucka.

So it’s Titans spring training camp, and ex-Ohio State dork Donnie Nickey thinks the way to “play hard” in spring camp is to nearly break his wide receiver’s neck in a tackle. Mind you, this is JUST PRACTICE, and they’re ON THE SAME TEAM. So Vince Young gets in his grill and bitch slaps his dumb ass across the helmet and it’s ON. The whole thing is on ESPN, and this is actually where this video clip comes from. I’m a big fan of VY, and love the way he goes after the idiot. I mean, dude, you’re on the same team! Don’t try to break your teammate’s neck, you dumb meat locker!

As per the title, supermodel Estefania Luyk hails from Spain, or Madrid to be more precise. She’s also very, very pretty. Now I don’t know what the girl does in her spare time or what TV shows she enjoys, if any, but I’m willing to bet it would be sexy shows, because you know, she’s really, and as per supermodel rules, she’s only allowed to watch sexy shows and what not. But I digress. Here’s Estefania Luyk. She comes from Spain. Please to enjoy. (What, you want more? I’m tired of making up gibberish for you people! Stop being so demanding!)

You guys feel that? That’s the breeze of a new supermodel discovery. That’s right, kids, it’s been a while, but our Random Supermodel of the Day is Brazilian import (you sorta figured this part out, right?) Renata Maciel dos Santos, who hails from, um, Brazil. Or, to be more precise, Florianópolis, Santa Catarina, which I think is somewhere near Mexico City, or is that in Mexico? Um, okay, so my geography sucks, but there’s nothing wrong with my eyes, because Renata Maciel dos Santos is what they call HOT. Please to enjoy.

I’m not sure if Kate Middleton is still dating Prince Harry — or was it Prince William? I don’t keep track of these things, so there could be a third prince named Bill for all I know. Regardless, where was I going? Oh, right. I don’t know if Kate Middleton is still dating Prince Harry/William/Billy/Whoever, but if she’s now a single gal, then the boys should be lining up once these pictures of a very fine figured Kate Middleton hits the net. That’s a very nice looking girl there, boys, even from the backside. And I’m talking about the curves, the buttocks, the — well, just her. Kate, call me! I’m listed in the book! (Under weird guy who lives with mother in basement…)

It’s Friday, so you know what that means — yes, that’s right, kids, it’s hot chick with barely any clothes on day! Or as my girlfriend would call it, Victoria’s Secret Day. (And of course by “girlfriend” I mean that girl next door I’ve been look at through binoculars but she doesn’t know it. Heee heee.) Ahem. What I’m trying to say is, Gemma Atkinson looks really good in lingerie, and here are more proof. Now don’t you just love Fridays? Gemma Atkinson would work on any day of the week, but there’s just something about a woman in a lingerie name Gemma and Fridays. It just goes together like Paris Hilton and faux fame.

Is British babe Vikki Blows’s real name really Vikki Blows? I don’t know, and I don’t care, because when you look this good with very little clothes on, names just don’t seem to matter all that much. You might know Vikki as one of The Sun’s “Page 3″ girls, or if not, then she has also appeared in FHM Magazines Top 100 Sexiest Women list. Besides Page 3 and FHM, she’s done work for Zoo, Nuts and Bizarre. Now all she needs to do is make an appearance in Maxim, and she’ll have the perfect resume for a hot babe from England.

Wow, I can’t believe how gorgeous Claire Danes looks. She just keeps getting more and more gorgeous every time I see her at one of these publicity events. Who knew that the geeky girl from “My So Called Life” would grow up to be a tall young woman with a perfect body and strong cheekbones? In honor of Claire Danes’ continued growth as a Hollywood beauty, you should all run out and see her new movie “Stardust”. Or you can send me money and I’ll go see it over and over again. Deal? Great. Send your money to, imaschmuck@paypal.com. Did I mention that Claire Danes just keeps getting more gorgeous every time I see her? Beautiful.

People have told me that Jennifer Ellison is an actress, that she acts in plays, and movies, and TV, and whatnot, but I’ll be damn if everytime I see her, she doesn’t act like an actress. By which I mean, she’s always wearing as little clothes as possible, which makes me believe British doll Jennifer Ellison is more of a glamour model first and an actress second. Then again, the “people” who have told me these things are just voices in my head, so maybe I should stop listening to them. Um. Anyways, here’s Jennifer Ellison looking uber hot while sweaty. I like the chains motif. Very Hellraiser. Let’s hope Pinhead doesn’t get a hold of this, cause, you know, Pinhead don’t like people playing with his chains. Or yanking them. Ahem.

Has Australian actress Abbie Cornish landed the Bond Girl role in the upcoming Bond movie? Bond 44 or was it 55? Well, you know, the next one that’s coming up. Anyhoo. Maybe she has, and maybe she hasn’t. The fact is, everyone and their momma (and their daughter) has been named as the “new Bond girl”. Hell, even the Olsen twins have been bandied about as landing the role at one point. See what I mean? The latest name is Abbie Cornish, whose best bud Rose Byrne seems to have let the cat out of the bag when she told MTV, “I think Abbie Cornish’s got it.” Abbie is cute and all, but a Bond Girl? I can’t quite see it…