You may have heard something about it: Country music’s she’s-all-grown-up-now darling LeAnn Rimes recently made a splash on the cover and in the pages of Shape Magazine, wearing nothing but a two-piece bikini. I especially like the American flag theme for the bikini. Somehow, LeAnn Rimes + America = It all make sense. In the article, LeAnn reveals her tips for staying in shape (apparently it’s all about the yoga), or more correctly, how to look drop dead gorgeous. Let’s face it, country music folks aren’t supposed to look this fit, or at least, I’ve never seen one that was. In any case, here are the rest of those pictures of LeAnn Rimes in Shape Magazine.
I will admit it, I’ve been down on Kirsten Dunst lately. She hasn’t exactly looked good in anything she’s been in, and I’m talking everything from movies to just everyday life. She just seems to be going down faster than Britney Spears’ sanity. But I’ll grant her this, Kirsten Dunst is looking pretty damn good here. The legs, the seductive poses, the legs — did I mention the legs? I love women with long legs, I think you can figure that out from my obsession with Stacy Keibler. (Speaking of which, haven’t seen a lot of Stacy lately…) But I digress. Here’s Kirsten Dunst trying to get back her sex appeal. It’s working…
Is Danielle Peck the next country music superstar? If looks were the indicator of such things, I’d say Yes. But since it’s not, and I haven’t heard her sing before, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. But country music sure can use a major injection of sex appeal. The last time someone turned heads while singing country songs was Faith Hill, and it’s been a looooooong time since her introduction to the world. Sure, there’s Carrie Underwood, but isn’t she more “cute pretty” than hot? I’m not saying Danielle Peck has what it takes to pick up Faith Hill’s reign of hotness, but I’m willing to give her a chance. Damn, I haven’t been this interested in country music in a while. Now where did I put those old Tanya Tucker CDs…
The guys over at People Magazine chronicles the rise and fall of Hollywood tart Lindsay Lohan in their current issue (”From Rehab to Arrest in 11 Days” is the title). They have a number of great pictures in the issue, including one where Lindsay Lohan poses in a two-piece bikini with her ankle bracelet clearly visible. One thinks she did it just to show off the bracelet, which basically tells you that she never took her sobriety seriously. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that wearing the ankle bracelet that was designed to detect if she was boozing it up was some kind of status symbol with her. “Look, guys, I’m like totally gangsta!” Or some such.
How exactly did Gail O’Grady go from playing hot-to-trot police secretary Donna Abandando (don’t you just love that name?) on “NYPD Blue” to someone’s mom on “American Dreams” and “Hidden Palms”? I don’t know, but she did, and, um, stuff. Gail O’Grady is 43 years young, which qualifies her for MILF status if she’s so inclined. She’s certainly still very hot-to-trot, which means she’s allowed to do just about anything she wants. When you look this good at this age and can still play the cleavage card with such BAM!, you’re gold, baby. Someone get Gail O’Grady into an erotic thriller before it’s too late! Stat, guys, stat!
God Bless Reality TV. Without the neverending stream of new and old and old/new Reality TV shows adapted from one country or another, we would never get the chance to see girls like Emma Cornell find fame and fortune and then pose in magazines like Zoo. Because, let’s face it, these girls will never end up the next Madonna or Julia Roberts, but a modeling career in lad’s magazines are within reach. And without their exposure on these endless series of Reality TV shows, how would we ever notice them in the first place? So I say, bring on the Reality TV! Let it never end! Muahhahahahahahha. And such.
If you don’t recognize the name, maybe you recognize the face. Meagan Good was the female star of the male dancing movie “Stomp the Yard” (yeah, a movie about dancing, starring mostly males, uh huh). Yeah, I know, I’m waiting like crazy for South Park to make fun of that movie, too, just the same way they made fun of “You Got Served”. Seriously, you KNOW a parody of all these urban-themed dancing movies are coming. How can you not make fun of a bunch of buffed up dudes dancing in sync? That’s tailor-made for comedy right there! And oh yeah, here’s Meagan Good in Unleashed Magazine. I’d like to stomp HER yard, if you know what I mean.
Frankly I’m sick and tired of telling you about Elisabetta Gregoraci, the gorgeous Italian babe known primarily for, well, being a gorgeous Italian beauty. Here’s the latest batch of photos of her to hit the Internet — bikini pictures of the gorgeous thing on the beach in a two-piece bikini. She was with a very old guy, who I have done my best to excised from the pictures, because let’s face it, who wants to see a fat old guy when there’s Elisabetta Gregoraci to be ogle? Seriously, what kind of sick world is this that really fat and old dudes who happens to be billionaires can go around hitting THIS level of poon? It’s just not right, I tell you. It’s just not right! Anyhoo, here’s your Elisabetta Gregoraci bikini madness. Enjoy. I did.
Let me first apologize for posting that picture of Nancy Pelosi below. Damn, and I thought Hilary Clinton was the ultimate boner killer — Nancy Pelosi comes in about second there! To offset Nancy “Boner Killer” Pelosi, here is Mexican supermodel Elsa Benitez. Yes, that’s right, I said Mexican. She’s not Brazilian. See? And I bet you guys think all I do is post pictures of Brazilian supermodels all day. Ha! Shows how much you know. (Maybe tomorrow…) Elsa lists Linda Evangelista as her childhood idol, which is not a bad choice, but marrying Rony Seikaly certainly was. What was she thinking???
It could eventually turn out that Anahi Gonzales also belongs in the Random Supermodel of the Day category, but until I get verifiable confirmation that she is in fact a supermodel, she’ll just have to be satisfied with filling out our Latin Flavor of the Day category. And of course by “verifiable confirmation” I mean some Joe Blow with an Internet connection makes a Wikipedia entry on her. Before that, well, this will have to do. And of course I’m purely guessing here as well. I don’t know, but “Gonzales” just sounds Latin to me. In any case, Anahi Gonzales looks really, really, and I mean, REALLY good in lingerie. Seriously, DAMN, girl.
I know what you’re thinking: “Oh great, another ‘Random Supermodel of the Day’ entry, and of course it’s for a Brazilian supermodel!’ Well yeah, what did you expect? Brazil practically supplies the world with 90% of its supermodels. It’s true, I heard it on CNN, and you know it has to be true if it’s on CNN. Right? Anyhoose. Our latest find is Brazilian stunner Isabeli Fontana, here showing off the good looks and good genes on the runway in a very skimpy ensemble. Or as the kids say, ensomb. Wait, do the kids say that, or am I making it up? You’ll never know. Muhahahahahahha. And such.
Talk about smoldering hotness. If you put Carolina Marconi in front of a camera, I’m pretty sure the camera would melt from the heat. You’d probably have to shoot her from behind a thick piece of bulletproof glass or something just to make sure you could get the whole photoshoot in without losing your lens, camera, and even your hair. Because, you know, that’s how hot Carolina Marconi is. Which is really, really, REALLY hot. According to IMDB.com, Carolina was born in Caracas, Venezuela, the product of a Venezuelan woman and an Italian father. The results of their coupling? One smoking hot babe name Carolina Marconi. Forget the one that invented the radiotelegraph — this is the Marconi you should remember for all eternity!
It’s tough being a sports fan in any town — well, that’s not true. It’s not all that tough being a sports fan in Boston or New York, despite what those numbskulls will tell you. Those guys actually have teams that WIN every now and then. We don’t even have that in Houston! Our teams are full of talent, but nothing to show for it. The Houston Rockets have never survived through the first round of the playboys since Olajuwon was manning the paint. And the Astros? They finally went to the World Series and got swept. They’re not getting anywhere close to the post-season this year. And finally, of course, there is the Houston Texans. Dear God, what a bad, bad team. Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush or Vince Young, anyone? But take heart, Houston fans. While the Houston Texans rookies won’t be turning your frown upside down, the Houston Texans rookie cheerleaders might. Shake those pom poms, girls!
When posting a supermodel, it’s always preferable to catch them in their bra and panties, because let’s face it, as supermodels, these girls spend 90% of their time in their bra and panties. But when you have someone that looks as good as Dutch supermodel Doutzen Kroes, maybe catching them with their clothes on isn’t so bad, either. I would prefer the former, but the latter ain’t such a bad way to start a Friday. And so, without further jabberin’ about, here’s Doutzen Kroes for Fridays. Hey, “Doutzen Kroes for Fridays”. That’d make a great band name, don’t you think?

31 July 2007
Celebrities in Bikinis, LeAnn Rimes