The Random Stuff of Interests Page

The guys over at People Magazine chronicles the rise and fall of Hollywood tart Lindsay Lohan in their current issue (”From Rehab to Arrest in 11 Days” is the title). They have a number of great pictures in the issue, including one where Lindsay Lohan poses in a two-piece bikini with her ankle bracelet clearly visible. One thinks she did it just to show off the bracelet, which basically tells you that she never took her sobriety seriously. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that wearing the ankle bracelet that was designed to detect if she was boozing it up was some kind of status symbol with her. “Look, guys, I’m like totally gangsta!” Or some such.

How exactly did Gail O’Grady go from playing hot-to-trot police secretary Donna Abandando (don’t you just love that name?) on “NYPD Blue” to someone’s mom on “American Dreams” and “Hidden Palms”? I don’t know, but she did, and, um, stuff. Gail O’Grady is 43 years young, which qualifies her for MILF status if she’s so inclined. She’s certainly still very hot-to-trot, which means she’s allowed to do just about anything she wants. When you look this good at this age and can still play the cleavage card with such BAM!, you’re gold, baby. Someone get Gail O’Grady into an erotic thriller before it’s too late! Stat, guys, stat!

God Bless Reality TV. Without the neverending stream of new and old and old/new Reality TV shows adapted from one country or another, we would never get the chance to see girls like Emma Cornell find fame and fortune and then pose in magazines like Zoo. Because, let’s face it, these girls will never end up the next Madonna or Julia Roberts, but a modeling career in lad’s magazines are within reach. And without their exposure on these endless series of Reality TV shows, how would we ever notice them in the first place? So I say, bring on the Reality TV! Let it never end! Muahhahahahahahha. And such.

If you don’t recognize the name, maybe you recognize the face. Meagan Good was the female star of the male dancing movie “Stomp the Yard” (yeah, a movie about dancing, starring mostly males, uh huh). Yeah, I know, I’m waiting like crazy for South Park to make fun of that movie, too, just the same way they made fun of “You Got Served”. Seriously, you KNOW a parody of all these urban-themed dancing movies are coming. How can you not make fun of a bunch of buffed up dudes dancing in sync? That’s tailor-made for comedy right there! And oh yeah, here’s Meagan Good in Unleashed Magazine. I’d like to stomp HER yard, if you know what I mean.

Frankly I’m sick and tired of telling you about Elisabetta Gregoraci, the gorgeous Italian babe known primarily for, well, being a gorgeous Italian beauty. Here’s the latest batch of photos of her to hit the Internet — bikini pictures of the gorgeous thing on the beach in a two-piece bikini. She was with a very old guy, who I have done my best to excised from the pictures, because let’s face it, who wants to see a fat old guy when there’s Elisabetta Gregoraci to be ogle? Seriously, what kind of sick world is this that really fat and old dudes who happens to be billionaires can go around hitting THIS level of poon? It’s just not right, I tell you. It’s just not right! Anyhoo, here’s your Elisabetta Gregoraci bikini madness. Enjoy. I did.

Let me first apologize for posting that picture of Nancy Pelosi below. Damn, and I thought Hilary Clinton was the ultimate boner killer — Nancy Pelosi comes in about second there! To offset Nancy “Boner Killer” Pelosi, here is Mexican supermodel Elsa Benitez. Yes, that’s right, I said Mexican. She’s not Brazilian. See? And I bet you guys think all I do is post pictures of Brazilian supermodels all day. Ha! Shows how much you know. (Maybe tomorrow…) Elsa lists Linda Evangelista as her childhood idol, which is not a bad choice, but marrying Rony Seikaly certainly was. What was she thinking???

From what I can figure, The Hill is an online political site, and they have an annual list of “50 Most Beautiful People on Capital Hill” where they list, obviously, the 50 most people working in Washington at the moment. Or at least, that’s the premise. But when they put Nancy Pelosi (pictured left), who constantly looks like she’s about to get run over by an Amtrak train at their #4, should we even take them seriously? But wait, don’t judge The Hill’s list by their mind-boggling inclusion of Heart Attack Pelosi on the list, they’ve got some pretty spiffy looking babes there, and some hunks for you girls out there. No surprise that most of the “beautiful” people are aids to politicians, since as we all know, all politicians are old white male fogeys with no sex appeal. With the exception of Nancy Pelosi. She’s an old white FEMALE fogey with no sex appeal.

It could eventually turn out that Anahi Gonzales also belongs in the Random Supermodel of the Day category, but until I get verifiable confirmation that she is in fact a supermodel, she’ll just have to be satisfied with filling out our Latin Flavor of the Day category. And of course by “verifiable confirmation” I mean some Joe Blow with an Internet connection makes a Wikipedia entry on her. Before that, well, this will have to do. And of course I’m purely guessing here as well. I don’t know, but “Gonzales” just sounds Latin to me. In any case, Anahi Gonzales looks really, really, and I mean, REALLY good in lingerie. Seriously, DAMN, girl.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh great, another ‘Random Supermodel of the Day’ entry, and of course it’s for a Brazilian supermodel!’ Well yeah, what did you expect? Brazil practically supplies the world with 90% of its supermodels. It’s true, I heard it on CNN, and you know it has to be true if it’s on CNN. Right? Anyhoose. Our latest find is Brazilian stunner Isabeli Fontana, here showing off the good looks and good genes on the runway in a very skimpy ensemble. Or as the kids say, ensomb. Wait, do the kids say that, or am I making it up? You’ll never know. Muhahahahahahha. And such.

Talk about smoldering hotness. If you put Carolina Marconi in front of a camera, I’m pretty sure the camera would melt from the heat. You’d probably have to shoot her from behind a thick piece of bulletproof glass or something just to make sure you could get the whole photoshoot in without losing your lens, camera, and even your hair. Because, you know, that’s how hot Carolina Marconi is. Which is really, really, REALLY hot. According to IMDB.com, Carolina was born in Caracas, Venezuela, the product of a Venezuelan woman and an Italian father. The results of their coupling? One smoking hot babe name Carolina Marconi. Forget the one that invented the radiotelegraph — this is the Marconi you should remember for all eternity!

It’s tough being a sports fan in any town — well, that’s not true. It’s not all that tough being a sports fan in Boston or New York, despite what those numbskulls will tell you. Those guys actually have teams that WIN every now and then. We don’t even have that in Houston! Our teams are full of talent, but nothing to show for it. The Houston Rockets have never survived through the first round of the playboys since Olajuwon was manning the paint. And the Astros? They finally went to the World Series and got swept. They’re not getting anywhere close to the post-season this year. And finally, of course, there is the Houston Texans. Dear God, what a bad, bad team. Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush or Vince Young, anyone? But take heart, Houston fans. While the Houston Texans rookies won’t be turning your frown upside down, the Houston Texans rookie cheerleaders might. Shake those pom poms, girls!

So in case you didn’t hear, Beyonce Knowles recently did a concert in Orlando, and took a major nosedive down a couple of flight of stairs during a song. She was a real trooper, though, and popped right back up in character. But what most people sort of missed was the fact that Beyonce was apparently still singing while she was nose-diving face-first! I.e. she was lip-syncing when the fall happened! Either that, or Beyonce has an amazing ability to sing AND fall at the same time! Which might be possible if you planned it, but not when it’s a freak accident. Which explains why Sony is desperately going around having the videos pulled from YouTube. Can’t have people know that their star lip-syncs in concert now, can they?

When posting a supermodel, it’s always preferable to catch them in their bra and panties, because let’s face it, as supermodels, these girls spend 90% of their time in their bra and panties. But when you have someone that looks as good as Dutch supermodel Doutzen Kroes, maybe catching them with their clothes on isn’t so bad, either. I would prefer the former, but the latter ain’t such a bad way to start a Friday. And so, without further jabberin’ about, here’s Doutzen Kroes for Fridays. Hey, “Doutzen Kroes for Fridays”. That’d make a great band name, don’t you think?

To no one’s surprised, even animated as a Simpsons character, Keeley Hazell looks like a billion bucks. And yes, even in clothes that looks horrid in real-life, she cuts a fine figure. Then again, I don’t know why celebrities, especially the really sexy ones, go out wearing such clothes. Maybe I’m not a fashion guy (hell, I have two T-shirts and one pants, period), but I can’t stand seeing gorgeous women going out in such a frumpy looking dress. But hey, the dress may blow the big chunks, but the girl inside it still rocks our world. Here’s Keeley Hazell at “The Simpsons” premiere in the UK.

When you think of someone named “Lisa Maffia”, you think, “Mafia Princess”, not “female member of So Solid Crew”, which she is. Here’s more about her from Wikipedia: “Lisa Maffia originally came to the public’s attention as the main female member of So Solid Crew. Whilst in So Solid, the singer notched up 5 top 20 hits, including a platinum selling single 21 Seconds and a platinum selling album They Dont Know. She was born to an Italian mother and a black father. Her own first solo album, First Lady was released in August 2003, and won a MOBO award in the Best UK garage Act category. Lisa was also nominated for 2 other MOBO awards Best UK Act and Best UK Newcomer. Lisa is trained in Latino ballroom, tap and modern dancing and practised gymnastics as a child.”

If you were to get technical about it, Denise Richards does in fact qualify as a MILF — she’s the mother of two. But she’s also only 36 years old, and I don’t know, but I kind of like my MILF to be a little older. Say, late ’30s, or maybe ’40s. I’m not saying you have to be decrepit to qualify as a MILF, but you know, if you can maintain a MILF level of hotness while you’re in your ’40s, that’s like winning the lottery. Anyways, rather she belongs in that category or not, Denise Richards looks incredible in a two-piece bikini. But then again, she always did, does, and will. Remember “Wild Things”? Exactly. I’m still waiting for Denise to do one of the sequels…

I’m really not sure why the powers that be (re: whoever has the film’s rights) hasn’t released Holly Valance’s “DOA” movie yet. I think it’s coming out very soon, but I’m shocked they haven’t released it earlier. Sure, “DOA” isn’t exactly Shakespeare, but it’s still very good for what it is, and what it is is a kick-ass, chicks-kick-ass movie filled to the brim with some of the hottest chicks working in the movie biz today. One of them is Holly Valance, who I have posted pictures of her from the movie before, so this is just more of the same. Lovely woman, lovely body, and kicks ass like no one’s business. Sounds like my perfect woman!

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Lindsay Lohan was busted for driving on the freeway while high on coke. Or she had coke on her. And I’m not talking about coca cola coke here, kids. I’m talking about the China White. Nose candy. COCAINE. Which meant she couldn’t show up at Jay Leno’s Tonight Show as scheduled. As a result, Rob Schneider pitch-hit for the poor girl, and the interview was a riot. If you didn’t think Rob Schneider could make you laugh without a copy machine anywhere near you, you’re wrong. Check it out and laugh your ass off. Rob, you rock, man. (And may I say, you look good in that dress…)

One of the more intriguing sounding shows in the schedule this coming Fall is the action-adventure (and comedy?) show “Chuck”, about an Everyman geek who gets downloaded information into his brain, making him a target of spies everywhere. The show co-stars blonde beauty from Kansas named Sarah Lancaster, who did time on “Saved by the Bell: The New Class” before graduating on “Everwood” and now, “Chuck”. We don’t know if the show will do well or if it’ll go the way of the dinosaurs, but we do like the casting of Sarah Lancaster, and from what we’ve seen of “Chuck”, it looks to have promise. So check it out, and check out Sarah Lancaster, when “Chuck” comes knocking soon.

Keeley Hawes is best known as Zoe Reynolds on the BBC spy show “MI-5″, otherwise known in the States as “Spooks” (i.e. the slang for spies). She left the show in 2004, and boys everywhere cried. Seriously, lame British spies just aren’t as exciting without Zoe around to keep things interesting. She’s since gone on to star in the “Life on Mars” spin-off called “Ashes to Ashes”. That show hasn’t come to BBC America yet, so we haven’t had a chance to see it. But if you’re a gamer, you might have caught Keeley Hawes voicing the latest Lara Croft games. Yes, that sexy voice is Keeley’s. Now you know why we like her.