The Random Stuff of Interests Page

To no one’s surprised, even animated as a Simpsons character, Keeley Hazell looks like a billion bucks. And yes, even in clothes that looks horrid in real-life, she cuts a fine figure. Then again, I don’t know why celebrities, especially the really sexy ones, go out wearing such clothes. Maybe I’m not a fashion guy (hell, I have two T-shirts and one pants, period), but I can’t stand seeing gorgeous women going out in such a frumpy looking dress. But hey, the dress may blow the big chunks, but the girl inside it still rocks our world. Here’s Keeley Hazell at “The Simpsons” premiere in the UK.

When you think of someone named “Lisa Maffia”, you think, “Mafia Princess”, not “female member of So Solid Crew”, which she is. Here’s more about her from Wikipedia: “Lisa Maffia originally came to the public’s attention as the main female member of So Solid Crew. Whilst in So Solid, the singer notched up 5 top 20 hits, including a platinum selling single 21 Seconds and a platinum selling album They Dont Know. She was born to an Italian mother and a black father. Her own first solo album, First Lady was released in August 2003, and won a MOBO award in the Best UK garage Act category. Lisa was also nominated for 2 other MOBO awards Best UK Act and Best UK Newcomer. Lisa is trained in Latino ballroom, tap and modern dancing and practised gymnastics as a child.”

If you were to get technical about it, Denise Richards does in fact qualify as a MILF — she’s the mother of two. But she’s also only 36 years old, and I don’t know, but I kind of like my MILF to be a little older. Say, late ’30s, or maybe ’40s. I’m not saying you have to be decrepit to qualify as a MILF, but you know, if you can maintain a MILF level of hotness while you’re in your ’40s, that’s like winning the lottery. Anyways, rather she belongs in that category or not, Denise Richards looks incredible in a two-piece bikini. But then again, she always did, does, and will. Remember “Wild Things”? Exactly. I’m still waiting for Denise to do one of the sequels…

I’m really not sure why the powers that be (re: whoever has the film’s rights) hasn’t released Holly Valance’s “DOA” movie yet. I think it’s coming out very soon, but I’m shocked they haven’t released it earlier. Sure, “DOA” isn’t exactly Shakespeare, but it’s still very good for what it is, and what it is is a kick-ass, chicks-kick-ass movie filled to the brim with some of the hottest chicks working in the movie biz today. One of them is Holly Valance, who I have posted pictures of her from the movie before, so this is just more of the same. Lovely woman, lovely body, and kicks ass like no one’s business. Sounds like my perfect woman!

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Lindsay Lohan was busted for driving on the freeway while high on coke. Or she had coke on her. And I’m not talking about coca cola coke here, kids. I’m talking about the China White. Nose candy. COCAINE. Which meant she couldn’t show up at Jay Leno’s Tonight Show as scheduled. As a result, Rob Schneider pitch-hit for the poor girl, and the interview was a riot. If you didn’t think Rob Schneider could make you laugh without a copy machine anywhere near you, you’re wrong. Check it out and laugh your ass off. Rob, you rock, man. (And may I say, you look good in that dress…)

One of the more intriguing sounding shows in the schedule this coming Fall is the action-adventure (and comedy?) show “Chuck”, about an Everyman geek who gets downloaded information into his brain, making him a target of spies everywhere. The show co-stars blonde beauty from Kansas named Sarah Lancaster, who did time on “Saved by the Bell: The New Class” before graduating on “Everwood” and now, “Chuck”. We don’t know if the show will do well or if it’ll go the way of the dinosaurs, but we do like the casting of Sarah Lancaster, and from what we’ve seen of “Chuck”, it looks to have promise. So check it out, and check out Sarah Lancaster, when “Chuck” comes knocking soon.

Keeley Hawes is best known as Zoe Reynolds on the BBC spy show “MI-5″, otherwise known in the States as “Spooks” (i.e. the slang for spies). She left the show in 2004, and boys everywhere cried. Seriously, lame British spies just aren’t as exciting without Zoe around to keep things interesting. She’s since gone on to star in the “Life on Mars” spin-off called “Ashes to Ashes”. That show hasn’t come to BBC America yet, so we haven’t had a chance to see it. But if you’re a gamer, you might have caught Keeley Hawes voicing the latest Lara Croft games. Yes, that sexy voice is Keeley’s. Now you know why we like her.

Was there any doubt that of all the cast of “Star Trek: Voyager”, that Jeri Ryan would be the only one with a viable career after the show went off the air? Okay, so that guy who played Tom Paris has the occasional role playing a supporting role here and there (I think he even played a bad cop on NYPD Blue), but it’s Jeri Ryan who has carried the mantle of ex-”Voyager” castmate with a viable career. And it’s not like she’s the token “sex” role on CBS’s “Shark”. That’s a meaty role, kids, and Jeri Ryan, besides James Woods, are reasons why you should watch “Shark” if you haven’t given it a shot yet. For a lawyer show, it’s damn good.

British model, actress, and all-around famous chick Jennifer Ellison likes pink lingerie, likes wearing pink lingerie, and we like to watch her wearing said pink lingerie. Okay, so she’s put those pink lingerie on way after we see them, but if you just use your imagination instead of sitting there like a big lump of couch snack food, you’d know where I was going with this completely ludicrous post. Oh great, now even I’m lost. Um, let’s see. Jennifer Ellison. Pink. Underwear. Bra. Oh right. Jennifer Ellison in pink lingerie is friggin’ awesome.

Alicia Keys has always looked good, and I heard she can sing, too. But I wouldn’t know anything about that, being that the last time I bought an album it was, oh, 10 years ago, and the Beatles were popular. Wait, is that right? Damn my math. But I digress. The last time I saw Keys was on the big screen when she starred as a hitwoman in the wild action flick “Smokin’ Aces”. Now that there’s a sequel to that movie in the planning stages, and Alicia’s character survived the original, I’m starting a petition to bring her character back. By the way, how hot is Alicia Keys looking here? Damn.

Scottish TV babe Kirsty Gallacher looks really good in a two-piece bikini, which is probably why she ends up in a two-piece bikini in most of her photoshoots. Then again, it’s not like I’m present at all her photoshoots (not that she knows of, har har, just kidding, don’t send the cops!). Now this isn’t a photoshoot, more like a day at the beach for our Scottish lovely. And yes, if you were wondering, I have the DVD of Kirsty’s “Body Sculpt With Kirsty Gallacher” because, um, I want to sculpt my body and such. (Okay, okay, so I don’t have the DVD, but it just seemed like the thing to say when you’re posting completely gratuitous bikini pictures of someone.)

Okay, first of all, let me just say that this video is really stupid, and kind of embarrassing considering how hard they’re trying (seriously, the whole Obama Girl thing was soooo last week), but I love what this guy who uploaded the video wrote, and I think it’s worth posting just to repost his intro to the video: “Until women are given the right to vote theyre gonna have to express their political opinions through scantily clad dance routines. I for one will be voting for whichever side goes topless first. Thats how a real American picks his president.” You’re damn skippy!

You know, aside from that whole she can kick my ass ten ways to Sunday deal, Laila Ali, daughter of flamboyant pugilist Muhammed Ali, is kinda hot. I mean, from the right angles, and preferably without those boxing gloves on. Who wants their woman to be wearing boxing gloves all the time? Okay, so there are times when boxing gloves in the bedroom would be pretty cool, it’ll at least break the monotony, right? Then again, if only I can get over that whole she could probably kick my ass all over the house at anytime if I so much as make her mad thing that I can’t quite shake. Anyhoo, maybe it’s all academic, since last heard, Laila Ali had gotten hitched to some ex-NFL player. But a guy can dream, can’t he? (About getting beaten by his lady, I mean, because that’s kinda hot, too…)

Those guys at Break.com, I swear, I don’t know where they get these crazy videos. (Actually I think people upload them, so the Break.com guys don’t actually do all that much, but never you mind that; never let the facts get in the way of a good gag, I always say. Mind you, not that I talk to myself, but I’m just saying.) Anyhoo. It’s a mixed martial arts cage fight between two guys, then one guy gets kicked in the face and goes down. The guy who did the kicking runs around screaming like a jackass. It’s fun had by all — except for the guy that got kicked in the face, anyway.

Here’s a new one: Our Brit Babe of the day, Martine McCutcheon, is an English TV actress and singer, but she actually got her show business start at the tender age of 12 doing a Kool-Aid commercial in the States. How about them apples? Well Martine McCutcheon has since returnd to Britain, where she’s enjoyed a thriving TV career, having appeared on the popular soap “EastEnders” as Tiffany Raymond, before going on to play Eliza Doolittle in the play “My Fair Lady” at London’s West End, a role that garnered her a best actress awards at the 2002 Laurence Olivier Awards. Not bad for a girl who started her career drinking bad artificial water!

I don’t think America fully realizes what kind of hot-bodied beauty they have under their noses, waiting to blow up as the new Bionic Woman in NBC’s remake of the ’80s show. The 20-something actress from England has a fabulous body and a gorgeous face, and extra points? She’s got a fantastic rack. She isn’t showing that off right now, but wait until the geeks in the audience gets a load of that chest during a wet T-shirt scene. And trust me, the writers are gonna put in a scene that requires Michelle Ryan to get wet and show off the body. They would be stupid not to.

Speaking of “The Sarah Connor Chronicles”, former “Firefly” (and “Serenity”) hottie Summer Glau has left space behind for the cold, hard killing grounds of — well, okay, it’s not that nihilistic of a show, but you get the idea. Summer Glau plays a killer Terminator in the show, but don’t fret — this killer Terminator kills for the good guys! She was sent back in time to protect young John Connor, which means you get to see a lot of scenes of Summer Glau kicking giant male Terminator ass, and looking sexy as heck doing it. (Yes, I said heck. I’m very Christian that way. NOT.) Anyways, Summer Glau is bound to look good on the show if she looks this good in real life.

I’m still not entirely sure why Lena Headey has put a movie career aside to star in FOX’s upcoming “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” TV show. Then again, from what I’ve seen of the show, it looks to be pretty darn good. Or at least, on part with the “Terminator” movies from which it was spun from. And besides, it’s Lena Headey. She could do a TV show where all she did was sit in an armchair and read a grocery list, and I’d still think she rocked in it. And lest we forget, Lena can kick ass as well as the next man — even the metal kind.

You gotta wonder if Dido Armstrong ever thought about going by the name “Dido” and thinking, “Ooooh, I don’t wanna do that,” because, you know, Dido sounds a lot like, well, you know. But you also gotta give the girl respect for not only going with her real name, but just going by Dido ALONE. Now that takes guys. I mean, hell, I don’t even have an embarrassing name, but I’m still embarrassed by it, mostly because I have this very unnatural ability to be embarrassed by just about anything. But I digress. This is a Dido Armstrong appreciation posting, so appreciate her, you bastards!

Emily Deschanel has some incredible eyes going on there, oh boy. The last time I ran across an actress with this kind of “shazam!” ability with her eyes was Meg Foster, but she had a combination of creepiness going with the eyes. “Bones” star Emily Deschanel is all about understated sex appeal. True, you’ll probably never catch her in a two-piece bikini, but don’t you just wonder what it would look like if you did? Seriously, folks, it’s those kinds of thoughts that keeps me working on the site. That, and getting cancer from the computer radiation. What, you didn’t know you could catch cancer from your computer? Yessir!