The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Who says you can’t be a country singer, settle down with an ex-rodeo cowboy in some ranch in Texas, and still look good when the occasion calls for it? Don’t tell Jewel Kilcher that. Oh sure, it’s been a while since Jewel had a song reach the top spot on the charts (that’s how you say it, right?), but that’s probably because Jewel just doesn’t care to get up there anymore, having already reached it once or twice before already. But never mind all that. Check out these promos of Jewel. No idea if these are old, or if they’re for a new record she’s got coming out. I do know that I recently listened to her CD “Perfectly Clear” and it was rocking. Or at least, as rocking as country music can rock. And yes, I listen to country music. What of it? You got a problem with that? Didn’t think so.

Our Random Foreign Babe of the Day is one Maria Louiza Vourou, who, I believe, is the co-host of something called ShowBiz News, which, er, covers showbiz as, you know, news. I think. I believe Showbiz News is some kind of Greek entertainment TV show (at least according to some guy who uploaded a video of the show to YouTube), but since I don’t speak Greek, or knows what Greek sounds like, I haven’t a clue what they’re saying in the video below showing off Maria Louiza Vourou’s ability to look hot and at the same time read the news. And don’t even get me started on that annoying guy sitting across from her. Really, what’s the deal with uglying up the show with some ugly dude when you could just have Maria Louiza Vourou? Anyways. Pictures of Maria Louiza Vourou in her bra and panties best and a video sample (she’s only on it for the first 40 seconds, I think) below for your perusal pleasure.

Now I may not know all that much about our Latin Flavor of the Day, but I’m reasonably sure that Marisa Perez is Latina. I think the last name pretty much gives it away. So what about Marisa Perez? Well, I don’t have a bio on her, but excuse me if I think a woman is more than just her bio, where she comes from, what she’s done, all that stuff that doesn’t really matter. That’s just parts of a woman; what really matters is how good she looks in a two-piece bikini, and in that area, Marisa Perez’s got it covered. Somewhat. And yes, that whole “hook your thumb into your bikini bottom and pull it down” does in fact still make me all tingly (you know, down there). So thank you, gay photographers everywhere! Here’s Marisa Perez. Please to ogle.

When people find out that I’m originally from Texas, three things immediately run through their mind: 1) Damn, he’s awesome! 2) Dude, if he got anymore awesome, they’d have to make a statue dedicated to his awesomeness! And 3) I wonder if he has horses and wears cowboy hats? Well to answer your question in order: 1) Yes, I am. 2) True dat. And 3) No, I don’t. I’ve never owned a cowboy hat. I’ve never ridden a horse. And I don’t wear chaps, except in, you know, for other occasions that shall remain nameless. Ahem. I bring those things up to say this: Delta Goodrem as a cowgirl is hot. No idea what the theme of this shoot is (besides the obvious “cowboy” theme), but being that Delta Goodrem is quite the hottie, she can wear homeless bags and still look good. Okay, maybe not quite that far, but pretty close.

Ah yes, it’s that time of the year again, when every magazine worth their salt (and some not so much) comes out with their “Sexiest Blah Blah Blah” list. In this case, it’s Esquire Magazine, who has crowned 42-year old recent mommy Halle Berry as the Sexiest Woman Alive. In like, the entire history of men. Or until next year’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” issue comes out, anyway. So what makes Halle Berry so special? Well, she’s hot, she’s got a pretty rocking body, and that rack ain’t no joke. And besides, how many Hollywood actresses you know who can knock out a kid and spring back in a few months looking just as awesome as ever? Well, actually, pretty much all of Hollywood does that. But I digress. So, in honor of Halle’s latest accomplishment, here’s her recent spread in Esquire. Check out the issue on newsstands everywhere.

According to the ratings, the second season of Chuck isn’t exactly burning up the airwaves. Then again, if your show doesn’t have has-been (and in some cases, never-was-been) celebrities doing the tango or hitting each other over the head with cowboy hats, you probably aren’t getting real good ratings. Such is the sad state of the American TV viewing public. But I digress. In case you missed it, Yvonne Strahovski was her usual hot self on Chuck, and just because I like you guys, here are some of her hits from this second season. Yes, it’s Yvonne Strahovski every day, all the time around here at the Random Page. Wanna make something of it? I didn’t think so. Please to enjoy.

That’s right, buckaroos, it’s another time for some Latin Flavor, this time with Sao Paulo’s own, Gabriela Rabelo. Sao Paulo is located, of course, in Brazil, or as I like to refer to it, That really awesome country that keeps giving us these bikini-clad babes. Really, when you think about it in the grand scheme of things, has one country ever contributed so much to the world of men? I dare say, No! So thank you, Brazil. Thanks for Adriana, Gisele, and now Gabriela, plus the thousands of other Brazilian beauties you’ll eventually give us in the coming years. Yes, Brazil, if you were a girl, I’d hogtied you, throw you in my van, and have my way with you. Alas, you’re a country, and I’m not nearly big enough to satisfy all of you.

What’s that, you say? Why post yet another gratuitous post of model Teresa Moore? What is she, like, special? Even more Teresa Moore? Yes, even more Teresa Moore. What, you got a problem with that? Like my grandpappy always says, if it feels good, then keep doing it. Of course, that motto may have been what got the pappy in trouble when he went into the girl’s locker room at the local Y and tried to cop a feel. Yeah, grandpappy, I know that felt good, but it doesn’t mean you should do it! Ahem. Where was I? Oh right, just in case you’re feeling a little blue, here’s a little bit more of Teresa Moore to lighten your day. You’re welcome.

Russian model turned actress Olga Kurylenko is about to blow up — literally and figuratively — when the new James Bond movie shows up in theaters later this year. She’ll be playing the latest Bond girl, a sure-to-be fiery babe name Camille who helps Bond out when he goes after some French guy because what’s scarier than French guys? Why, I used to live next to one who constantly started yapping at me in some weird noise that he kept insisting was French, but you know, I’ve heard French before, and he didn’t sound French at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure he was mumbling some kind of voodoo on me. But I digress. Olga Kurylenko is hot, and here are more of her. And yes, that transition makes perfect sense.

Now I don’t know all that much about our Random Foreign Babe of the Day, Ana Ferreira, except that she may or may not be from Portugal, or thereabouts. But what I do know is that she’s quite fetching in a two-piece bikini, and really, in this day and age of Internets and iPhones and whatchamacallits, isn’t that all that really matters? Well at least that’s all that matters to me. Some people say I’m superficial that way, but I like to think of it as cutting off the fat and getting to the nitty gritty. And when it comes right down to it, isn’t that all a man is — a guy who really digs hot chicks who looks great in a bikini? I’m tellin’ ya, boyos, whoever gets lucky and snags me as a husband must be living right! Anyhoo. Ana Ferreira in a bikini. Please to ogle.

For a young lass who looks this good with most of her clothes laying on the floor, Amber Heard sure is not getting all the recognition that she deserves. Which may explain why she’s just appeared in Maxim and FHM in the same year — it’s time to get that face and those curves out there to Joe Q. Public. And it’s not like Amber Heard’s agent hasn’t been getting her work; the girl has been in a ton of movies, from the MTV hit “Never Back Down” to the recent comedy “Pineapple Express”. She’s got even more movies coming out in 2009, including that “Stepfather” remake about the killer step-dead. Anyways, for those who still haven’t heard of Amber Heard, she’s a really hot little blonde from Texas, and give her a chance, she’ll set your crotch — er, I mean, world — on fire.

The only time I’m aware that the TV show Desperate Housewives is even still on the air is when ABC shows promos for it whenever the show is about to start another new season. I would actually try to watch the bloody thing, except I have a penis, and I’m not allowed to watch and enjoy such a show. Having said that, there is one thing about Desperate Housewives that I have no problems enjoying — Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini, proving once again that age ain’t got nothing on this hardbody. Now the pessimist in me says that Nicollette Sheridan has her doctor’s number on speed dial, because how else does a 45-year old woman maintain such a body; but the optimist in me says, “Who gives a shit?” And now, to the main event: Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini. You have GOT to be kidding.

So Heroes Season 3. Have you been enjoying yourself, boyos? If so, then you have good taste, because Heroes Season 3 is looking pretty good. One of those reasons? Hayden Panettiere, in the future, is a bad, bad, bad girl. A gun-packing bad girl, in fact. NBC has released some promo shots of Hayden Panettiere as Future Claire. Love the black leather and the ponytail. Nothing says “I’m a gun-packing badass who will blow you to smithereens like black leather and pontytail”, I always say. Heroes airs on Mondays on NBC, so check it out if you tuned out after Season 2. Who could blame ya? Last season blew. Hayden Panettiere doesn’t.

Oh, Monica Bellucci, will there ever come a time when you aren’t the hottest thing to come out of Italy since fascism and sausages? Hopefully not. And if the time ever comes when that turns out to be true, we’re going to stick our heads in the sand and hum to ourselves so we can pretend it never happen. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Failing that, we’d probably just run to the Internet and look at pictures of Monica Bellucci like these, which shows off that naturally gorgeous face. Even in black and white, there’s no doubt that Monica Bellucci is just too smoking hot for words. Or at least, a whole lot of words. Probably a little bit of words, though.

Let’s face it, when the name of your band is The Pussycat Dolls, showing up on the cover of a magazine (or on stage, for that matter) in your underwear is pretty much the order of the day. What would be stunning is if the Pussycat Dolls turned up onstage wearing suits. Now that would totally freak everyone else. In any case, here’s the Pussycat Dolls doing what they do best — i.e. prance around in their undies — in Blender magazine. See, there’s Nicole Scherzinger, the lead singer, and that one, the other one, the other girl who isn’t Nicole, and finally, that last Pussycat Doll girl who also isn’t Nicole.

Every year Hollywood stars and other famous faces get together to pretend they actually care you vote (you know, they don’t really care who you vote for, just as long as you vote; and oh, by the way, can you spare an hour to let them tell you why Barack Obama is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and how John McCain is so friggin’ old?) by putting out some freaky dinky ads that will either give you nightmares or scare you into voting. Last year Christina Aguilera had her mouth sewn shut. This year, it’s Jessica Alba in a Hannibal Lecter inspired mask in one ad, S&M garb in the other. I like the second one. Yum. And oh yeah, I’m definitely voting. Al Gore is still on the ballot, right?

Our Sports Babe of the Day is a little lovely lass from Brazil name Isabel Swan. She’s a sailor. Yes, a sailor. Now I don’t know if being a sailor actually qualifies as being an athlete, or someone who participates in “sport”, but when you look this good in your bikini, is there really a point in arguing about the merits of said sport (or not a sport)? I didn’t think so. According to her Wikipedia page, Isabel Swan, besides being quite the babe, recently won a bronze medal in 470 class at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. You can probably betcha that she was the best looking thing on a boat during that race. Am I right or am I right? (Unless, of course, I was also in the race, but I think that goes without saying. Ahem.)

Jeanene Fox doesn’t play basketball, but if she did, she would probably be the hottest fox on the court. I don’t know if she’s as tall as her brother Rick Fox (who plays for the Lakers), but really, who wants her to be? Jeanene Fox probably spent some time playing basketball (you’d have to when you’re taller than every girl in your school, right?), but probably quickly realized that she’s way too hot to be playing around with a ball bigger than her head. So she went into modeling, and will probably end up in the movies. You don’t look this hot and not end up in the movies. Of course, she can forget about being Tom Cruise’s love interest. She’s what, two feet taller than him? Tom, of course as we all know, is only four feet tall.

To be honest with you, I could make a new January Jones post every month, and just keep calling it “January Jones in [Month in Question here]” and keep on rolling. Wouldn’t that be cool? Yes, but it could also get pretty old pretty fast, and as we all know, there’s nothing I dislike more than lazy writing. You know, like how some bloggers just write crap that makes absolutely no sense just to fill out a post? Yeah, I hate that, too. Anyhoo. Here’s some January Jones in her undies hanging out at the house. Ah, it must be nice to be a hot movie star. You work for a few months a year, remember something someone else wrote for you, then you head on home to your Malibu mansion and lounge about the pool. Good times, good times.

Our Latin Flavor of the day is Ingrid Grudke, a blonde beauty from Misiones, Argentina, which if my outstanding knowledge of South America geography is correct, is located somewhere between the Gulf of Mexico and, er, Mexico. But never mind the map lessons, my friends, let’s concentrate on the girl. You might have seen her in the movie “Papá se volvió loco” and, um, other stuff on TV. I think she’s been on TV, too, but don’t hold me to it. The point is, she’s a model from Argentina, and is, as the kids would say, easy on the eyes. Plus, she’s got purty curves and what the Amish call good birthing hips. You’re interested in birthing hips, aren’t you?