The Random Stuff of Interests Page

You may or may not have seen Aussie pop singer Holly Valance showing up on American TV. Or you might have seen a very nice looking blonde (or brunette), and it didn’t quite register that it was her. Well you need to pay more attention, schmucks, because Holly Valance has been making inroads into Hollywood, starting with a starring role in last year’s “DOA: Dead or Alive”, a co-starring role in the upcoming Liam Neeson movie “Taken” (hence the post title, ahem), and quite a few guest appearances on TV shows like Shark, Moonlight, CSI: New York, and of course, her breakthrough, as a Russian hottie in Prison Break. And oh yeah, did I mention she’s showcased in the current issue of FHM? What, I didn’t? Well, I always meant to.

Rumor has it that when she was 9, Australian model, actress, and former Lipton Ice Tea spokeswoman Emily Scott went toe-to-toe with a kangaroo and busted it up something pretty awful. True story. Well, as true as my buddy Rod says, anyways, and although Rod once convinced me that Bigfoot was real, he’s usually a pretty trustworthy guy. Anyways, there’s no denying that Aussie hotness Emily Scott is a fine looking woman. And yes, those eyes are pretty astounding. I would say they could start wars, but that would be a cliche, and we don’t trade in cliches around these here parts. Or at least, not on Mondays.

Our Brit Babe for the day is one Caroline Flack. Who is she? No idea. She’s in a current issue of Maxim, and after seeing her, thought she looked hot, so here she is. Here’s Wikipedia with the research on her that I’m too lazy to do: “In March 2007, Caroline hosted the CBBC coverage of Comic Relief does Fame Academy. Caroline commentated on the semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest 2008 with Paddy O’ Connell. She also hosted Big Brother’s Big Mouth for Week 5 of the 2008 Series. Daily Mirror journalist Rob Leigh noted that ‘her sharp delivery makes her the best presenter they’ve had on this series.’” So he noted her sharp delivery but not the sharp body? Must be gay. Check out Caroline Flack.

Who would have thunk that after all the rumors that Rose McGowan was going to play space slut — er, I mean, space adventurer Barbarella, that the first posters we’d get of Rose in barely any clothes would be posters for … Red Sonja? That’s right. They’ve made up posters for a new version of “Red Sonja” set to star Rose McGowan. Now you may not think a girl as pale and not-all-that-bulky as Rose McGowan could actually sell herself as a barbarian Queen like Red Sonja, but then again you haven’t considered the magic of photoshop yet. Check out these concept art poster/whatever of Rose McGowan as Red Sonja. Yeah, yeah, I know that cleavage isn’t real, but don’t tell my other brain that.

I’ve never heard of Melissa Baker, but according to Wikipedia, she’s an American supermodel. So right there, I’m going to take their word for it and call her a supermodel, so which gives me the perfect excuse to post pictures of her in our Random Supermodel of the Day category. But wait, does she really qualify? Well, she’s been in the 2008 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, and really, when you’ve been in the swimsuit edition of SI, isn’t that all that needs to be said. Although I have to admit, Melissa Baker looks a tad more meat, as it were, than your regular SI model. But hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little meat on the bones, am I right or am I right? I certainly wouldn’t kick her out of bed. Or my basement.

What’s a girl to do after winning the Australian version of Big Brother? Show up in lads magazines, of course. Hey, if even the losers get to do this, why wouldn’t the winner get the same thing? Aleisha Cowcher won the 2007 version of Australia Big Brother, and as a result won herself a ranch full of kangaroos and whatever else they give away over there is Australia. The perky blonde and her nice rack initially worked as a hairdresser in Cobram, Victoria, before finding her way to the Big Brother show and winning the whole she-bang. Really, aside from the UK’s Hollyoaks, is there a better producer of babeness than the Big Brother campaign? I think not! Thank you, Big Brother. And some dude told us we should be wary of you. What an idiot!

Isn’t posting pictures of supermodels vacation on beaches while wearing nothing but itty bitty bikinis kind of like finding a tape of a prostitute doing what prostitutes do best, i.e. earn her money? That is, isn’t it a little anti-climactic? Haven’t we seen Bar Refaeli at least a million times in a bikini? Or sometimes, even less than a bikini? So really, are these pictures of her in a vacation spot really all that big of a deal? Sure, she’s hot and all, and that body sure looks awesomely awesome, but I find myself being a tad … underwhelmed. Sigh. Maybe I should … Oh who am I kidding. Psyche! Bar Refaeli is looking goooooooooood. Please to ogle.

That’s right, kids, Brazil has given us so many uber hot women that I’ve made up a new word to describe their greatest import — hot women. Just you wait, people will be using “hotports” like it’s going out of style in a few days. Kids will be running around school campuses going, “Dude, check out that hotport!” And I won’t make a dime off it. Such is the life of a creative genius like myself. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh right. Brazil’s latest hotport is one Fabiana Semprebom, who is apparently part Brazilian, Italian, and American. Maybe we should come up with another word: Bralicanport! (Holy crap, where do I come up with this stuff? I must be, like, a genius and shit.)

In “Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans”, British babe Rhona Mitra slips on fellow British babe Kate Beckinsale’s skin-tight pleather to play a medieval, sword-swinging hot chick who fights vampires. And werewolves. Probably both, but hopefully not at the same time, cause that would be pretty tough. What are the chances that Rhona Mitra will take off the skin-tight black pleather in a gratuitously revealing sex scene ala “Underworld 2: Evolution”? No idea, but one can only hope. Here are some promos from the upcoming movie. In the flick, Rhona Mitra plays Sonja, not to be confused with Red Sonja, who has red hair. Rhona has black hair, and so does her Sonja. Thus ends this lesson on Sonjas in Cinema.

So Alyssa Sutherland. Who is she? She’s a model who is trying to make her way in the world of acting. Which is pretty hard to do, but thankfully for our lass, she’s kind of hot. And freckled, too. Not a lot of girls can pull off hot while hosting more freckles on her face than a beach, but Alyssa Sutherland pulls it off. Of course, the long legs, the slender frame, and the simply gorgeous face helps just a tad. When you’re this pretty, people call your freckles “beauty marks”, whereas they’re “Oh God, those are gross” when you’re not nearly as pretty as Alyssa Sutherland. Anyways, she recently had a gust spot on the cancelled TV show New Amsterdam, and IMDB.com doesn’t list any other new credits. Come on, someone, put this girl on regular TV! I’d, like, watch every day. Probably.

Jessica-Jane Clement is hot and the name makes you think Southern Belle, but she’s actually from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. She also liable to rip you off if given the chance. I don’t mean she’ll come to your house, knock on your door, and when you open it she’ll rip you in half. I mean the girl will probably con you out of your hard-earned pocket watch. (People still carry around pocket watches, right?) Jessica-Jane Clement is a British model, actress, and one of the stars of The Real Hustle, a show that goes around hustling people in order to educate them so they won’t be hustled in the future. See, that would never happen to me. If a pretty girl walks up to me, I’d just punch her. Sure, it cuts down on my social life, but better safe than sorry, right?

Hey, remember that ’80s song “The Lady in Red”? By that one-hit wonder Chris De Burgh? Well guess what — the dude had a daughter, and her name is Rosanna Davison. If the name doesn’t ring a bell, then maybe this will help: Rosanna Davison won the Miss World title in 2003 for Ireland. What’s Miss World, you ask? Well it’s like Miss Universe, minus the Universe part. See, whereas Miss Universe represents the entire universe as a whole, Miss World only gets to represent our puny little planet. Can you imagine trying to win a beauty pageant in Venus or Mars, or Alpha Centauri? Man, I tell you, if you haven’t tried to win anything on Alpha Centauri, you don’t know how hard it is. Anyhoo, here’s Rosanna Davison. No “She’s the Lady in Red” jokes, please.

Shockingly, if you check out Tatyana Ali’s filmography on IMDB.com, the little lass has worked steadily pretty much since The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air went off the air and Will Smith became the biggest movie star in the world, despite starring in only one worthwhile film in his entire career. But nevermind Will Smith. Let’s get back to Tatyana Ali. Ashley Banks is all grown up and is featured in an issue of King Magazine. I haven’t a clue what King Magazine does, but I’m assuming showing hot chicks in varying shades of undress is one of them. So here’s Ashley Banks looking all hot and stuff in King. Carlton would never approve, but we would.

So what has Amy Acker, the impossibly cute (and dare I say it, even hot?) girl from Angel? Well, after Angel was cancelled, she’s been doing guest spot on other people’s TV shows, being that once you’ve been a regular on one TV show, it’s pretty easy to get guest spots on other people’s TV shows. That’s just how TV works. I should know, in a past life, I was a child star with a coke habit. But I digress. Amy Acker will be re-teaming with Eliza Dushku in Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse, where she’ll be playing a doctor. A really, really awesomely hot doctor, that is. Watch out, Eliza, here comes Amy! Well okay, maybe it won’t be that ominous, but I’ll be damn if I’m not gonna be watching Dollhouse as a result. A reminder of Amy Acker’s hotness follows.

The show is called Lipstick Jungles, and it’s about three women trying to make it in a man’s world, i.e. corporate America. I think. Here’s what IMDB.com says about the show: “A look at the lives of Nico, Wendy, and Victory — three of “New York’s 50 Most Powerful Women,” according to The New York Post.” The show’s three babes, Kim Raver, Lindsay Price, and Brooke Shields, plays those three women. Kim Raver, formerly of 24 fame, plays the intriguingly named Nico Reilly. Now tell me you expect someone named Nico to look like Kim Raver; but then again, maybe she’s packing heat somewhere along that killer frame. Promos from the show featuring all three lovely lasses.

Natalia Cigliuti is a former All My Children actress who has made the move from daytime soaps to primetime soaps. She’s one of the stars on TNT’s new lawyer show Raising the Bar. Yes, that’s right, there’s another lawyer show because, let’s face it, you can never have too many lawyer shows. Well, okay, that isn’t exactly true, but for the purposes of this post, let’s just go with it. Anyhoo. Natalia Cigliuti is a New York bred actress who started her career on teen shows like Beverly Hills 90210 and Saved by the Bell. Not the original Saved By the Bell, mind you, but Saved by the Bell: The New Class, which as we all know, was the best Saved by the Bell incarnation. Or some such. Anyways, Natalia Cigliuti is hot. Check her out.

Now I’m not saying they used a lot of airbrushing on this lingerie spread by Mexican hottie Luz Elena Gonzalez in H magazine (H is para hombre, in case you didn’t know), but man, they airbrushed the crap out of these pictures. I don’t know if the idea was to turn Luz Elena Gonzalez into an Eva Longoria lookalike, but that sure looks like the final results. A bustier, hotter looking Eva Longoria, anyway. Mind you, I’m not saying that Eva Longoria doesn’t look hot, but let’s face it, she’s just this shade of aiiight compared to a girl like Luz Elena Gonzalez, who is, as the kids would say, so bangin’ gorgeous you’d run through a wall to get a look at her pants. Or at least that’s what I think the kids are saying nowadays. Stupid kids and their nutty sayings. Anyhoo, Luz Elena Gonzalez in H magazine.

Hey, kids, what time is it? That’s right, it’s time for another moment of bikini madness starring Brazilian model Renata Maciel Dos Santos! Who is Renata Maciel Dos Santos, you ask? She’s a Brazilian model with a very long ass name, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying these bikini-tastic pictures of her. A couple of swimsuits here, which I think technically isn’t a bikini, or so I’ve been told. I could be wrong, of course. Oh what am I talking about? Nevermind all that crap. Renata Maciel Dos Santos bikini pictures. Please to ogle.

Good news for fans of hot Russian tennis players, because it looks like Anna Kournikova is doing a bikini photoshoot. I haven’t a clue who it’s for, or what magazine, but she’s doing one, and here are some behind-the-scenes pics to prove it. Now you may be wondering, does Anna Kournikova still qualifies as a tennis player? Um, does it matter? To be honest with you, I’d rather not listen to female tennis players as they’re playing, anyway. All that grunting sounds good when they’re alone with you in your basement, but let’s face it, having to listen to it on the TV is unbearable. Okay, so a little grunting on TV is good, but not THIS much. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, we can look forward to a Anna Kournikova bikini spread sometime in the future. Until then, these will have to do.

“Swing Vote” is a Kevin Costner movie, one of those films that can only happen in Hollywood, where an average schmoe played by Costner gets to decide who wins the next Presidential election. Or something stupid like that. It’ll probably be good for a laugh and a chuckle or two, and no doubt there will be plenty of heartwarming crap, as Costner’s character also has a young daughter described as “precocious” — i.e. she’s the type of 10-year old kid who can only exist in a Hollywood screenwriter’s imagination. But nevermind all that junk. The movie co-stars Paula Patton, and you know how much we like our daily dose of Paula Patton. Some promos of PP from “Swing Vote”.