The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Who is Natalie Martinez, you ask? Don’t worry, it’s not your fault if you don’t know the name, or that gorgeous face, since the former model turned actress’ biggest and most well-known work so far has been roles on two craptacular TV shows called Saints and Sinners and The Fashion House on the equally craptacular My Network TV. But all that should change when she shows up as the world’s hottest grease monkey in the futuristic actioner “Death Race”, a remake of the 1975 flick of the same name. In the movie, Martinez plays Case, a mechanic who helps out star Jason Statham’s character. One really, really hot mechanic, at that. (Martinez, not Statham. Ahem. Although I’m sure Statham is considered hot, too, in certain quarters. Just not in the quarters that makes up my pants.)

CBS may have canceled her show not once, but twice, but everyone’s favorite post-apocalyptic spunky schoolmarm, Sprague Grayden, won’t go down without a fight. The lovely lass, much underrated for her liveliness, has landed two roles on the FOX network — a role in the upcoming seventh season of 24, and another on the network’s cable channel FX, the new show Sons of Anarchy. She’ll be playing a biker’s wife in Anarchy, and the president’s daughter on 24. If Jack Bauer knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay away from her. Everyone this guy gets close to bites the dust.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — if I somehow, for some reason, ended up in a Mixed Martial Arts cage match with someone and got my ass handed to me (as would seem likely, I being weak and lacking in what you would call fighting skills), I would prefer it if it was Gina Carano who was doing the ass handing. Besides turning heads and kicking ass on NBC’s American Gladiators revival as Crush, she’s got a movie career waiting to blow up (check her out in “Blood and Bone” later this year), and just recently handed some chick’s head to her on a silver platter at the EliteXC: Primetime fight last month. And oh yeah, she’s also doing some work on the videogame “Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3″, from which these promos are from.

So who is Mark Consuelos, you ask? Well, not being a daytime soap opera fan, I don’t blame you for not knowing who he is. Consuelos is a Spanish actor, and one of the stars of ABC’s long-running daytime soap All My Children, where he plays the role of Mateo Santos Sr., no doubt a suave Spanish dude who gets all the chicks. Besides being handsome, with a great last name to pick up girls with, and a burgeoning movie career, Consuelos is also married to Kelly Ripa, the hardest working woman in showbiz. And just in case you still don’t get why it doesn’t suck to be Consuelos, take a gander at what he goes home to every night below. Seriously, I hate this guy.

Hey, it’s Monday, and you know what that means — Jennifer Lamiraqui bikini extravaganza time! What, didn’t I tell you? I swore I told you we were going to do this every Monday last week. Or at least, every Monday when I decided we should do this. And yes, that makes perfect sense. Anyhoos. Who is Jennifer Lamiraqui? She’s the kind of woman we’d like to drag into a barn and do things to her that are illegal in at least a dozen or so States. And with a name like Lamiraqui, you just know that she knows all kinds of neat tricks to keep you in bed all day, such as, you know, being naked and stuff.

Yeah, I’ll grant you, “Unintentionally Phallic Picture of the Day” is a kinda long title for a category, but I think it works because, well, these pictures are pretty unintentional, and let’s face it, they’re pretty and amusingly phallic. (Plus the word “phallic” is just wicked fun to type. Hey, this is a tough job; you gotta find your pleasures where you can, am I right or am I right?) First up is Russian tennis phenom Maria Sharapova, who during a recent battle on the courts, took the opportunity to grab some drinks to keep from dehydrating or whatever it is Russian tennis phenoms drink water to do. Who knows the ways of the phenom?

There was few reasons for anyone older than 13 years old to watch last night’s MTV Movie Awards — one of them was Megan Fox. The Transformers star is a nearly flawless creature, and is probably the hottest girl with ugly tattoos since the invention of hot girls and ugly tattoos. Really, the ink the girl has on her body needs to go. In particular that just Godawful looking Marilyn Monroe face on her arm. Good God, what was she, drunk out of her mind when she decided to slap that atrocity onto her arm? And those quotes all over her body. Holy Mother of all that’s Frak. Anyways, you still can’t deny that ugly tattoos notwithstanding, Megan Fox is still bloody hot. (Oh, and one last thing: I wish she’d lay off whatever it is that she slaps on her lips to make them puffy and shine like that. Repeat after me, Megan: Less is more.)

You know, if you were to ask me a year or two ago when Katharine McPhee first lost on American Idol about Katharine’s future career, I would have told you that the girl was destined to sell millions of records and blow up like something that blows up really cool and successful. Now I don’t know how that musical career is going, but let’s face it, with those legs and that face, this girl was always destine to hit the big screen. It’s too bad she got married to some old dude, though. That sort of ruins a lot of fantasies right there. Anyhoos. She’s already been signed up for a new movie called “The Storyteller”, which is an indie drama. You know, real “acting” stuff. Here are some old pics of her showing off those damn fine legs. And the old guy — well, one half of his arm, anyway.

Your weekend send-off for this week is one Jana Ina, a former Miss Brasil and Miss Intercontinental from 1998, who has parlayed her beauty queen days into a long modeling gig and regular appearances on TV as herself. In 2004 she made her movie debut as Gioia in the Germany comedy “Samba in Mettmann”, which of course translates into English as “Sam is da Man”. No, really, two days of German language lessons in a dark alleyway between a bowling alley and a tattoo parlor has made me one with the German language. So much so that I am now comfortable with calling myself a Deutch bag. Now where was I? Oh right, here’s Jana Ina for the weekend. Please to enjoy.

And when I say “Smoking Redheads”, I’m not talking about redheads that like to indulge in a little ciggie every now and then, either. I’m talking about women who are redheads and who also just happens to be smoking hot, or as I like to refer to them, Julianne Moore-ish. One such redhead that meets this criteria is Simone Simons, lead singer for the Dutch symphonic metal ensemble Epica. Now I don’t know what the heck “symphonic metal ensemble” is, but I’m assuming it’s the kind of music that allows its lead singers to be a smoking hot redhead, which means I’m now a big fan of the genre. Here are some choice pictures of Simone via her Myspace page. Please to enjoy.

You know, I don’t know if Elle Liberachi is foreign or British or American, but she’s a babe and she’s pretty random, and so she fits perfectly in this category. Then again, considering that our categories are so random in nature, I could probably somehow convince myself that a dead cat would fit into this category. But I digress. Elle Liberachi is a very attractive model with more than a slight resemblance to 2008’s It girl, Marisa Miller. She’s not nearly as hot, but then again, how many women out there can match Marisa Miller hotness for hotness? Answer: One — Marisa Miller’s doppelganger from a parallel universe. But Elle Liberachi ain’t too bad herself.

In case you haven’t heard, another actor recently shot off at the mouth without thinking, and got smacked down. HARD. This time it was Sharon Stone, who made some retarded comment about how “karma” was responsible for the big quake in China that killed thousands, because of China’s policies toward Tibet. And yes, she did happen to name-drop the Dalai Lama’s name a couple of times; they’re best buds, doncha know. Stone has since released a statement saying to the effect of how “deeply sorry and sad” she was about hurting the Chinese people with her comment. Which leads me to this thought: Wow, someone actually still cares what Sharon Stone has to say! Her video comment, and some pictures of Stone in “Basic Instinct 2″, the last time people even entertained the notion of seeing a “Sharon Stone movie” for your perusal pleasure.

Well? Are you excited to see “The Dark Knight” yet? If the trailers didn’t do it for you (seriously, if you’re a geek and the trailers didn’t do it for you, you ain’t no frakkin’ geek, dude), all those Dark Knight banner posters has to, right? I don’t know who designed these things, or who Warner Bros. is paying to come up with them, but they’re not paying enough, because these things are friggin’ awesome. Not just awesome, mind you, but friggin’ awesome, which is, like, ten times more awesome than just regular awesome. Check out some of them below and tell me you’re not jazzed to see Batman take on the Joker. Holy Hell on a Broomstick, this thing is gonna rock.

Okay, I’m not saying Gillian Anderson is an old broad or anything, but I think people forget that when she first showed up on TV on the X-Files way back in 1993 she was just 25 years old, although she had the type of face that made her look a bit older than she really was. Of course, it didn’t help that she mostly spent the show wearing those long trenchcoats and looking like a fuddy duddy. A really hot fuddy duddy, mind you, but you know, she never looked half as good as she does now, such as in these pictures from Cannes. Check out some of Gillian Anderson circa 2008, and compare her to her 90s self, and you’ll agree — age has turned Gillian Anderson into a babe.

Girls like Elisa Tovati makes me want to learn French, but of course I never will, mostly because French is really, really hard. In her native French, Elisa Tovati is a singer and actress, and I would tell you more about her, but I’m really lazy, so here’s Wikipedia with a last-second save: “Elisa Tovati was born in 1976 of Russo-Moroccan origins in Paris, France. She showed interest in theatre early in her life, and her teenage years saw her co-presenting a French programme Y’a pas d’lézard. Her co-star was Stéphane Tapie.” Thank you, Wikipedia, you da man.

Wow, Sarah McLachlan bikini pictures. I didn’t think I would ever be able to think those words, much less actually type them out on this thing that’s attached to my computer that allows me to make words appear on my screen thingie, and then have the pictures to prove it. And wow, Sarah McLachlan is tone, dudes and dudettes. Somehow, I never pictured the queen of Lilith Fair and other, female-centric musical niceties to look this muscular and tone. Instead of singing you to sleep with a sweet lullaby, she could probably put you in a headlock and achieve the same thing. These are, apparently, post-pregnancy bikini pictures.

I knew it. The first time I saw Rachael Ray’s peppy, bubbly self on TV, I thought to myself, “Now that’s a girl who endorses terrorism!” Well, not really, but if I had seen this ad with Rachael Ray for Dunkin Donuts I would have thought exactly that. Well, okay, not really again, but apparently some people are seeing a link between endorsement of terrorism and Rachael Ray’s Dunkin Donuts commercial because she was wearing what appeared to be an Arab kaffiyeh, or scarf (see picture below). The hullabaloo has gotten so bad that Dunkin Donuts has pulled the commercial and released a statement that they do not endorse terrorism. Wow. And here I thought the girl was just, you know, playing a homeless chick who likes coffee or something. Read all about it here.

Speaking of hot chicks with guns, Anne Hathaway is suiting up her spy suit to help Steve Carell remake the Get Smart TV show. I’ve never actually seen the show myself, but judging from the trailer and these promo images for the movie, it looks like Anne Hathaway will be playing straight man to Carell. A very, very hot looking straight “man”, that is. Carell is pretty funny, too, so this should be worth a look. And oh yeah, some guy name The Rock also co-stars in the movie, but nevermind him. Check out some choice Anne Hathaway “Get Smart” promos below. Who knew a frumpy white coat could look so good?

Is it just me, or are there a lot more hot chicks on TV carrying heat lately? (Granted, it’s probably just me, but for the sake of this bit, just go along with it.) You’ve got the gals of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the sci-fi gals of Battlestar Galactica, and there’s the Chuck babe. The Bionic Woman babe. And who else? Sarah Shahi in Life packs plenty of heat herself, though there aren’t that many good pictures of her doing such. Here are a couple of our favorite girls with guns currently on TV at the moment. The Terminator girls, of course, plus the most ass kickingest sci-fi babe on Battlestar Galactica, Katee Sackhoff.

So I’ve been seeing this commercial for some shoe or something — I didn’t really focus on the shoe or the brand name too much, mostly because the star of the commercial was Ashley Tisdale, doing a dance that was cut from her music video for “He Said, She Said”. It was, uh, a very stimulating 10-second or so dance that she did there, kids, which made me hunt down the longer version on YouTube. Below is the video for “He Said, She Said” from 2007, which features that dance I’m talking about, but I actually prefer the commercial, which gets right to the point. I hate foreplay.