The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Our Latin Flavor of the Day may be named Iran Castillo, but she ain’t from Iran, since, well, that would sorta make this post kinda stupid and ill-conceived — or, actually, more stupid than it already is. But anyways, her name is Iran Castillo, and she hails from Veracruz, Mexico, and according to IMDB.com, she’s an actress with a ton of shows and movies to her credit. She gives great eyes, and the rest of her ain’t bad, either. Which reminds me, I was once offered a free trip to Iran, but after thinking about it, decided not to go. Well, that’s pretty much it, there was no reason why I didn’t go, I just didn’t. Um, yeah. Pictures forthwith.

Let’s face it, if you can’t laugh at a perfectly brilliant puking scene, you just don’t have a sense of humor. Or maybe you’re just too damn high-falutin’, in which case, what the heck are you doing on this site? So here’s a pretty damn funny puking scene from Family Guy. It’s 90 seconds long, and features Peter, Brian, Stewie, and Chris trying out some new drink (I have no idea what that thing is) and trying desperately not to puke. Needless to say, they fail. Miserably. You haven’t laughed your ass off until you’ve laughed your ass off at a baby puking his guts out and then bawling, and then puking some more.

If I had to guess the premise of these pictures showing Maria Menounos and Blake Lively in bikinis walking on the beach apparently very excited about something happening off-screen, I would say Menounos is shooting an interview for one of those entertainment shows that she reports for. I forgot what it was; Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, Entertainment Access Tonight, etc. You know, one of those. In any case, does it matter? Maria Menounos and Blake Lively are in bikinis and walking on the beach. The only thing that would make this better is if they both tripped at the same time, fell to the beach, and somehow got tangled up in each other arms, as their lips slowly but surely move towards each other’s — wait, what? Oh, right. Please to ogle.

So I didn’t have a category for this until I saw this picture (full version below), which instantly elicited a response of “Seriously What the Frak?” Except replace “Frak” with the proper letters, like “uck”, and you get what I’m trying to say. So seriously, WTF is this guy thinking? Hey, I like my cellphone, too, but did I ever, for once, entertain the idea of doing this to myself? Not for one blinkin’ second. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you if you have to mutilate yourself like this just to get some attention? If this douche needed attention this bad, why didn’t he just set himself on fire? Then people would say, “Dude set himself on fire; real cool,” instead of, “Dude put a cellphone in his ear; what a effin’ douche!” Someone please tell me this is a photoshop goof!

If you’ve never heard of Erinn Bartlett, I don’t blame you, because I’ve never heard of her, either, although that’s going to change when I introduce you to some extremely hot pictures of the lovely blonde. Here’s a brief rundown of her career so far: Erinn Bartlett is a former beauty queen (she’s a former Miss Massachusetts Teen USA, which she won in 1991) who has parlayed that sliver of fame into a lengthy TV career, appearing on everything from Navy NCIS to CSI to A Nero Wolfe Mystery. To put it succinctly, she’s done a ton of TV work, and has broken into movies of sorts (does playing “Salad Girl” in “The Benchwarmers” count?). So when you see a really hot blonde on TV, chances are it’s probably Erinn Bartlett.

Good God, who is Cristina Buccino, and why hasn’t someone told me about her before. Well? I’m waiting for an answer. Why didn’t anyone tell me a woman this hot existed until now? Man, I feel so gypped. Anyhoo. Who exactly is Cristina Buccino? Um, I have no idea. She’s an Italian babe from Italy, and other than that, it’s a crapshoot. So, at this point, you should just do what I do, and make up background information for her. Let’s see, a woman this gorgeous must be an actress or showgirl on Italian TV of some type, but definitely something where she can show off those good looks and perfect body. And hey, how about, in her spare time she likes to visit strange men’s basements? Okay, that’s a little creepy. Let’s just stick to the pictures, shall we?

To be perfectly honest with you, a combination of laziness and inability to really care means I’m not even going to try to provide content to what the heck is going on in these pictures. Except to say this: it’s two British gals named Bianca Gascoigne and Charlotte Mears at the beach and they happen to be wearing two-piece bikinis and, if that wasn’t enough, they started to grope each other and — well, okay, maybe the last part is a bit stretching it, but in my mind they’re groping each other, and really, isn’t what I think more important than what is actually happening? Well I think so, anyways. Anyhoo, Bianca Gascoigne is famous for being a famous soccer player’s daughter, and Charlotte Mears (in the red) is famous for being, um, hot?

It’s good to be David Cook. After just recently wiping the floor with that little snot nose punk Archuleta, Cook is now dating former American Idol and all-around Texas babe Kimberly Caldwell. Or at least that’s what Cook announced to the world this Tuesday on “Live With Regis and Kelly”. According to Cook, he and the blonde babe (check out some of her old Maxim pics below from a few years back) recently went out on a date after hooking up via Caldwell’s American Idol-based TV show on the TV Guide network, and says Cook, they’ll probably be “hanging out” again. Wow, is that what the kids are calling it now, “hanging out”? Dammit, I should have gone to that AI audition when they came around last year. Heck, I’m sure I would have won. My version of “I Will Survive” is killer, or so I’ve been told.

My favorite part about these bikini pictures of Gemma Atkinson at the beach behind-the-scenes of her latest calendar shoot isn’t the fact that, well, Gemma Atkinson is in a bikini posing for pictures, but that there is one picture (the last one) where a fat dude shows up while Gemma is on her hands and knees posing and plucks her bikini out of her ass crack. Now how would you like to have a job like that? “Hey, honey, how was your work today?” “Um, I had to pull Gemma Atkinson’s bikini out of her ass crack. And yes, I saw plenty of crack. God, I love my job.” Of course I could be wrong, but I’m guessing whoever the bloated fat dude is, he says “God, I love my job” almost every day.

As gorgeous and voluptuous (and all that good stuff that hot women have in abundance) as she is, you’d think that someone would have put Sofía Vergara in a men’s magazine already, but I don’t recall her ever having been in Stuff, FHM, or Maxim until now. If she was in any one of those magazines, I must have missed it, which isn’t a surprise, because I miss a lot of things, including my old 1982 Chevy. Um, I mean, Sofia Vergara has shown up in Maxim UK’s July issue with a very nice spread. Tell me Sofia Vergara doesn’t have it going on, and I might have to come over there and kick your cat and toss your granny out the window. Seriously, don’t test me.

It’s Sunday, so you know what that means. That’s right, kiddies, it’s bikini pictures time with Roxanne Pallett! It’s, like, you know, a staple or sumthin’ at this one household. Plus, Monday is Memorial Day, and if our soldiers have given us one thing we all hold dear, it’s the ability for our gorgeous babes to wear a two-piece bikini and flaunt what their momma gave them, so you can take that to your cave and cry over it, Al Qaeda! Or something to that effect. Um, where was I? Oh right, it’s Sunday, and here are some Roxanne Pallett to chew on while you’re flipping the BBQ around.

Model turned actress Natasha Alam first came to our attention when she played a character in the low-budget horror movie “Shadow Puppets”. The movie also co-starred Jolene Blalock, who spent a lot of the movie walking around in skimpy underwear. Yep, it was a great movie, as you could probably guess. But despite Jolene’s half-nudity in the show, what really captured our attention was the gorgeous Natasha Alam. According to her Myspace page, Natasha was born in some place called Tashkent, Uzbekistan, which is apparently part of the former USSR. She’s since found her way to the States, where she continues to make a name for herself in the movies. Catch her next in the martial arts flick “Death Warrior”. And did I mention Natasha Alam is really hot?

Hey, check it out, the Pink Ranger is now a SWAT chick, and some of her job duties on the new CBS show Flashpoint include: “Rescues hostages, busts gangs, defuses bombs, climbs the sides of buildings and talks down suicidal teens.” Shit. She’s gotta rescue stupid suicidal emo teens AND bust inner city gangs? Dude, the Pink Ranger has really grown up! I’m talking about Amy Jo Johnson, of course, who broke onto the scene playing the Pink Ranger in the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers TV show and subsequent movie. Yes, I used to watch the Power Rangers back in the day, but only because they doled out very valuable lessons about life, love, and impossibly cool ways to kick the crap out of plastic monsters and crush cardboard skyscrapers. Flashpoint promos with the Pink Ranger — er, I mean, Amy Jo Johnson below.

Well this is crap. I’m probably one of only five people in the whole wide world who liked “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” (hey, that’s just me; don’t ever say I roll with the wind, biotches), and I loved Claire Danes on pure principle. But replacing Claire Danes with British babe Charlotte Gainsbourg as Kate Brewster on the upcoming Terminator movies? I don’t know about that. Charlotte Gainsbourg is not a bad looking doll, but let’s face it, no one beats Claire Danes. Here’s a side-by-side comparison. Hands down, Claire Danes wins by a mile. Then again, maybe I’m just bias; does three wet fantasies a week about Claire Danes count as a bias?

Monsters, crazy comic book action, off-the-wall humor … and Selma Blair’s legs? Those are the selling points of Guillermo del Toro’s “Hellboy 2: The Golden Army”? Well if they aren’t, especially the last part, someone hasn’t seen Selma Blair’s recent appearance on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, because let me tell ya, the girl’s got great gams. In fact, those things look so awesome, I’m pretty sure they can ward off a monster army or two, or three. It must suck to be Jay Leno, having to sit across from gorgeous gals like Selma Blair every night, day in and day out, and have to go back home to the chick he’s married to. Dude, just get divorce so you can bang these broads. Sucker!

Spanish spitfires Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz recently co-starred in a western called “Bandidas” that didn’t get a whole lot of airplay, mostly because it kinda sucked donkey balls. But you know what didn’t suck? Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz wearing chaps and running around a turn-of-the-century Mexico shooting people and pretending to make out while falling into rivers that, conveniently, left them dripping wet in see-through clothes. Yup, the producers of “Bandidas” were definitely selling the story. No, really. Anyhoo, the movie blew in and blew out, and blew all over the place along the way, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with its two stars, as these promos from the flick can testify. Hot chicks in chaps. Wow.

Seriously, what is the deal with women from the United Kingdom named Gemma? Is it you guys equivalent of Jane or something? Wait, there are women named Jane over there, too. But what gives with Gemma? You could probably throw a rock at Britain and hit five Gemmas with massive racks. Mind you, not that I’m complaining. After all, how could you not like a group of people where their beauty pageant winners are allowed to pose topless in lad’s magazines? 2007’s Miss Great Britain is Ireland’s Gemma Garrett, and like most Gemmas we’re used to, this one’s she’s pretty stacked and not shy about showing it off. You go, girl.

Who knew that pretending to be bi-sexual was so lucrative? A few years ago no one had even heard of Tila Tequila, but as soon as the girl convinces some dolts at MTV to give her a show centered around her bisexuality, and all of a sudden she’s on every magazine cover that ever existed. Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you gotta admit, Tila Tequila really has been showing up in a whole lot of magazines, including this latest issue of King Mag. Here’s just the cover posted at Tila’s Myspace page. The interiors will appear when the mag itself is released. You know you’re dying to see what she does inside the mag, aren’t you?

Since her character is a badass former Isaraeli Mossad agent, I guess it wouldn’t make much sense to put Cote de Pablo’s character from CBS’ Navy NCIS in a bikini every other episode. But lordy, the folks behind the show finally found a reason to put her in a bikini, and God bless’em for giving us a little sumthin’ sumthin’ from the too hot to be really considered sexy, mostly because if you thought of her as sexy, she might come over to your house to kick your ass. I’m talking about Cote De Pablo’s character on the show, of course. I’m sure the real Cote is very nice and isn’t prone to ass kicking at the drop of a hat. Then again, how hot would it be if she was?