The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Hey, check it out, the Pink Ranger is now a SWAT chick, and some of her job duties on the new CBS show Flashpoint include: “Rescues hostages, busts gangs, defuses bombs, climbs the sides of buildings and talks down suicidal teens.” Shit. She’s gotta rescue stupid suicidal emo teens AND bust inner city gangs? Dude, the Pink Ranger has really grown up! I’m talking about Amy Jo Johnson, of course, who broke onto the scene playing the Pink Ranger in the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers TV show and subsequent movie. Yes, I used to watch the Power Rangers back in the day, but only because they doled out very valuable lessons about life, love, and impossibly cool ways to kick the crap out of plastic monsters and crush cardboard skyscrapers. Flashpoint promos with the Pink Ranger — er, I mean, Amy Jo Johnson below.

Well this is crap. I’m probably one of only five people in the whole wide world who liked “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” (hey, that’s just me; don’t ever say I roll with the wind, biotches), and I loved Claire Danes on pure principle. But replacing Claire Danes with British babe Charlotte Gainsbourg as Kate Brewster on the upcoming Terminator movies? I don’t know about that. Charlotte Gainsbourg is not a bad looking doll, but let’s face it, no one beats Claire Danes. Here’s a side-by-side comparison. Hands down, Claire Danes wins by a mile. Then again, maybe I’m just bias; does three wet fantasies a week about Claire Danes count as a bias?

Monsters, crazy comic book action, off-the-wall humor … and Selma Blair’s legs? Those are the selling points of Guillermo del Toro’s “Hellboy 2: The Golden Army”? Well if they aren’t, especially the last part, someone hasn’t seen Selma Blair’s recent appearance on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, because let me tell ya, the girl’s got great gams. In fact, those things look so awesome, I’m pretty sure they can ward off a monster army or two, or three. It must suck to be Jay Leno, having to sit across from gorgeous gals like Selma Blair every night, day in and day out, and have to go back home to the chick he’s married to. Dude, just get divorce so you can bang these broads. Sucker!

Spanish spitfires Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz recently co-starred in a western called “Bandidas” that didn’t get a whole lot of airplay, mostly because it kinda sucked donkey balls. But you know what didn’t suck? Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz wearing chaps and running around a turn-of-the-century Mexico shooting people and pretending to make out while falling into rivers that, conveniently, left them dripping wet in see-through clothes. Yup, the producers of “Bandidas” were definitely selling the story. No, really. Anyhoo, the movie blew in and blew out, and blew all over the place along the way, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with its two stars, as these promos from the flick can testify. Hot chicks in chaps. Wow.

Seriously, what is the deal with women from the United Kingdom named Gemma? Is it you guys equivalent of Jane or something? Wait, there are women named Jane over there, too. But what gives with Gemma? You could probably throw a rock at Britain and hit five Gemmas with massive racks. Mind you, not that I’m complaining. After all, how could you not like a group of people where their beauty pageant winners are allowed to pose topless in lad’s magazines? 2007’s Miss Great Britain is Ireland’s Gemma Garrett, and like most Gemmas we’re used to, this one’s she’s pretty stacked and not shy about showing it off. You go, girl.

Who knew that pretending to be bi-sexual was so lucrative? A few years ago no one had even heard of Tila Tequila, but as soon as the girl convinces some dolts at MTV to give her a show centered around her bisexuality, and all of a sudden she’s on every magazine cover that ever existed. Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you gotta admit, Tila Tequila really has been showing up in a whole lot of magazines, including this latest issue of King Mag. Here’s just the cover posted at Tila’s Myspace page. The interiors will appear when the mag itself is released. You know you’re dying to see what she does inside the mag, aren’t you?

Since her character is a badass former Isaraeli Mossad agent, I guess it wouldn’t make much sense to put Cote de Pablo’s character from CBS’ Navy NCIS in a bikini every other episode. But lordy, the folks behind the show finally found a reason to put her in a bikini, and God bless’em for giving us a little sumthin’ sumthin’ from the too hot to be really considered sexy, mostly because if you thought of her as sexy, she might come over to your house to kick your ass. I’m talking about Cote De Pablo’s character on the show, of course. I’m sure the real Cote is very nice and isn’t prone to ass kicking at the drop of a hat. Then again, how hot would it be if she was?

Um, remember when I said that American Idol was predictable, and that there was no way in hell David Archuleta wouldn’t win the current season of American Idol? I believe I even referenced my deity at that time. Well, um, I was wrong. David Cook has been named the American Idol champ with a staggering 12% difference in votes. Wow. This, even after Simon Cowell basically gave the title to Archuleta and thumbed his nose at David Cook’s song selections. How does that Humble Pie taste, Simon? Har har. Check out David Cook’s performances from last night’s show. I’m shocked as hell he won, but not entirely unhappy. The dude was just the better singer, let’s face it.

Leighton Meester is one of the stars of the unGodly evil CW’s Gossip Girl TV show, one of those teen-centric shows where everyone onscreen is much, much hotter than the teens you know in real life, and they’re all banging the living crap out of each other whenever they get the chance. You know, real family hour type of stuff. The show’s big promos have been two teens engaged in the vertical mambo with the words OMFG stenciled about them. OMFG, for those who don’t know, is an acronym for, of course, Oh My Fugly Grandmother. Or is that Oh My Furby Ghost? Well, one of those things. See, I really am in touch with the “kids”. Here’s Leighton Meester in a bikini from a recent issue of Self Magazine. Yeah, I’m sure it’s relevant to the discussion on hand.

Oh right, like you actually watch NBC’s geek show Chuck for the geeks. Come on, admit it, the only reason you tuned in in the first place was because of the promos showing Yvonne Strahovski strapping throwing knives into her knickers. It’s okay, I’m not going to make fun of you, or tell your mom. Okay, so maybe I will make fun of you, but I’m definitely going to leave your mom out of it. That is, if you’ll let me, if you know what I mean. Ahem. Anyways, while Chuck is gearing up for a second season, its biggest star, the delightfully blonde hotness known as Yvonne Strahovski, appeared in Self Magazine to show off her exercise routine. Ass kicking has never looked so good.

When it comes to poker games, Stormy Daniels is all about the rack. Er, I mean, she’s all about the rake. Yeah, that’s what I meant to say. But I digress. Stormy Daniels is a female thespian usually seen in films geared toward the more mature members of the audience. That is, her movies are not meant for the eyes of young innocent children and people unable to distinguish the difference between a PBJ from a BJ, a DBA from a DP, etc. What I’m trying to say is, the chick does porn. She’s sort of like a younger Jenna Jameson — if Jenna Jameson had sported an artificially inflated chest the size of beach balls, I mean. But hey, whose complaining? Here she is playing poker for charity or something. Does it matter?

Let’s face it, given enough time, the right make-up (done by an army of the right people), and the right photography environment (i.e. lots of smoke and mirrors, or as I like to call it, the Barbara Streisand Technique), any woman who dares call herself a working actress in Hollywood can look good. Just take a gander at the mess that is Sarah Jessica Parker. In the right light, with the right camera angles, she doesn’t look entirely fugly. But only a truly hot woman can look hot in any situation, even when she’s out jogging. Yes, jogging. Kristen Bell is, truly, a jogging hottie. And you thought all those nerds liked Veronica Mars because it was, you know, good or something.

Billie Piper’s risque TV show Secret Diary of a Call Girl is getting a Stateside date — Showtime is bringing the naughty show, which stars Billie Piper as a, well, secret call girl, over to the States, and plans to run it starting in June of 2008. The show is supposedly based on a blog by an actual call girl, but it’s a blog, so who the hell knows who actually wrote it, it could be a fat guy for all anyone knows. But what can’t be deny is that Billie Piper looks pretty damn hot in the show, and I’ve seen a couple of episodes. No word about an American remake, though, which is probably for the best; Billie Piper and that British accent is just too damn hot to be replaced. Some photos and opening credits for the show below.

Word on the street is that Scarlett Johansson’s debut musical album (yes, Scarlett Johansson is now a singer, in case you didn’t know) is not so good, and the critics are panning it. Which is a real shame, as there’s just no need to pan anything Scarlett Johansson does, especially when she looks this good in GQ magazine. Now if we can only get Scarlett Johansson free from Woody Allen, all will be well with the world. Then again, Woody did manage to talk Scarlett into a threesome scene with Penelope Cruz in their latest movie together, so why am I bitching about the Woodman?

British soul singer Joss Stone made her debut on TV in an episode of NBC’s American Dreams, and she parlayed that into a role in the fantasy flick “Eragon”. Her latest is the comedy “Snappers”, which according to IMDB.com is about a young girl who moves to Devon to star in a film, where she falls in love with an intellectually challenged (i.e. he’s dumb as an ox) caravan site owner, all the while dodging paparazzi. My guess is that Joss Stone plays the actress, since the movie is about the actress, and Joss Stone’s name is listed first. And oh yeah, in a scene from the movie, Joss Stone kisses a chick. On the mouth. Crikey.

Going under the never-done-me-wrong-yet assumptions of, “If it feels good, then do it,” and “If it was great the first time, why wouldn’t it be great the second and third time, too?”, here are more bikini pictures of Smallville star Laura Vandervoort, who will no doubt be going on to more fame and fortune beyond the idiot tube. Or hey, if her movie career doesn’t take off, she can always take solace from the fact that she’ll always be a major star in my fantasies, and let me assure you, I’m pretty selective. Anyhoo, here’s more of Laura Vandervoort on the set of her new movie “Into the Blue 2″, where, apparently, everyone wears a bikini. God Bless crappy direct-to-DVD sequels.

Let’s face it, kids, the chance of finding an attractive novelist is the same as the chance of me waking up tomorrow next to Miranda Kerr. Yeah, it’s POSSIBLE, but is it really gonna happen? Probably not likely. (Especially now that the restraining order is in fact. Stupid restraining orders.) So when we’re talking about Australian-Canadian Tara Moss, who is not only a successful author of crime novels, but also a model? Holy. You don’t find THAT every day. Born Canadian, our model-writer babe moved to Australia, and currently holds dual citizenship, thus making her a member of our League of Canadian Goodness, and our Hot Down Under cadre. And yes, I’m sure I’m using “cadre” wrong, but whatever, I ain’t no professor and such.

British actress Sienna Miller was at a beach somewhere at some point in time doing the bikini thing. Where? When? Why? Um, all very dumb questions, especially when there’s a very pretty girl running up a beach splashing herself all wet. Besides making a menace of herself to her various boyfriends and paparazzos out there, Sienna Miller can also be seen in the action movie “G.I. Joe” come 2009. She’ll be playing The Baroness, and yes, she’ll spend most of her time onscreen wearing a skin-tight black outfit. Word (and set pictures) also has it that Sienna is also nekkid in “Hippie Hippie Shake”, which I think is about, um, hippies. And shakes. Because, as we all know, hippies love their shakes. Stinking hippies.

If soccer still means soccer to you, and football means big men in pads running into each other like wild maniacs, then you probably have no idea what a WAG is. So what is a WAG? Or, more precisely, what are WAGs? They’re those darling girls who dates or are married to football (i.e. soccer) players, and regularly shows up in the British tabloids. Basically, really hot girls famous for their association to athletes. The boys over at CO-ED Magazine have your list of the hottest WAGs of them all. And since you have to be pretty bloody hot to even qualify as a tabloid-approved WAG, these ladies are some kind of smoking. Some samples below.

If you hadn’t already heard, The Hills star Audrina Patridge is following in the footsteps of former MTV fake reality TV show star Kristin Cavallari into the wide world of actual acting. You know, the movies. Well, as “real acting” as you will likely get in a sequel to a Jessica Alba movie. Here’s a trick to upstaging the original with Alba and Paul Walker — actually ACT. Yeah, I know, it ain’t gonna be that easy to do. But hey, “Into the Blue 2″ has a couple of nice assets to help it survive the lull between the hot dames trying to “act” — it’s got Audrina Patridge and Laura Vandervoort in bikinis. Oh my. Here’s Audrina doing her part on the set of the direct-to-DVD flick. God Bless them Hills.