The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Um, remember when I said that American Idol was predictable, and that there was no way in hell David Archuleta wouldn’t win the current season of American Idol? I believe I even referenced my deity at that time. Well, um, I was wrong. David Cook has been named the American Idol champ with a staggering 12% difference in votes. Wow. This, even after Simon Cowell basically gave the title to Archuleta and thumbed his nose at David Cook’s song selections. How does that Humble Pie taste, Simon? Har har. Check out David Cook’s performances from last night’s show. I’m shocked as hell he won, but not entirely unhappy. The dude was just the better singer, let’s face it.

Leighton Meester is one of the stars of the unGodly evil CW’s Gossip Girl TV show, one of those teen-centric shows where everyone onscreen is much, much hotter than the teens you know in real life, and they’re all banging the living crap out of each other whenever they get the chance. You know, real family hour type of stuff. The show’s big promos have been two teens engaged in the vertical mambo with the words OMFG stenciled about them. OMFG, for those who don’t know, is an acronym for, of course, Oh My Fugly Grandmother. Or is that Oh My Furby Ghost? Well, one of those things. See, I really am in touch with the “kids”. Here’s Leighton Meester in a bikini from a recent issue of Self Magazine. Yeah, I’m sure it’s relevant to the discussion on hand.

Oh right, like you actually watch NBC’s geek show Chuck for the geeks. Come on, admit it, the only reason you tuned in in the first place was because of the promos showing Yvonne Strahovski strapping throwing knives into her knickers. It’s okay, I’m not going to make fun of you, or tell your mom. Okay, so maybe I will make fun of you, but I’m definitely going to leave your mom out of it. That is, if you’ll let me, if you know what I mean. Ahem. Anyways, while Chuck is gearing up for a second season, its biggest star, the delightfully blonde hotness known as Yvonne Strahovski, appeared in Self Magazine to show off her exercise routine. Ass kicking has never looked so good.

When it comes to poker games, Stormy Daniels is all about the rack. Er, I mean, she’s all about the rake. Yeah, that’s what I meant to say. But I digress. Stormy Daniels is a female thespian usually seen in films geared toward the more mature members of the audience. That is, her movies are not meant for the eyes of young innocent children and people unable to distinguish the difference between a PBJ from a BJ, a DBA from a DP, etc. What I’m trying to say is, the chick does porn. She’s sort of like a younger Jenna Jameson — if Jenna Jameson had sported an artificially inflated chest the size of beach balls, I mean. But hey, whose complaining? Here she is playing poker for charity or something. Does it matter?

Let’s face it, given enough time, the right make-up (done by an army of the right people), and the right photography environment (i.e. lots of smoke and mirrors, or as I like to call it, the Barbara Streisand Technique), any woman who dares call herself a working actress in Hollywood can look good. Just take a gander at the mess that is Sarah Jessica Parker. In the right light, with the right camera angles, she doesn’t look entirely fugly. But only a truly hot woman can look hot in any situation, even when she’s out jogging. Yes, jogging. Kristen Bell is, truly, a jogging hottie. And you thought all those nerds liked Veronica Mars because it was, you know, good or something.

Billie Piper’s risque TV show Secret Diary of a Call Girl is getting a Stateside date — Showtime is bringing the naughty show, which stars Billie Piper as a, well, secret call girl, over to the States, and plans to run it starting in June of 2008. The show is supposedly based on a blog by an actual call girl, but it’s a blog, so who the hell knows who actually wrote it, it could be a fat guy for all anyone knows. But what can’t be deny is that Billie Piper looks pretty damn hot in the show, and I’ve seen a couple of episodes. No word about an American remake, though, which is probably for the best; Billie Piper and that British accent is just too damn hot to be replaced. Some photos and opening credits for the show below.

Word on the street is that Scarlett Johansson’s debut musical album (yes, Scarlett Johansson is now a singer, in case you didn’t know) is not so good, and the critics are panning it. Which is a real shame, as there’s just no need to pan anything Scarlett Johansson does, especially when she looks this good in GQ magazine. Now if we can only get Scarlett Johansson free from Woody Allen, all will be well with the world. Then again, Woody did manage to talk Scarlett into a threesome scene with Penelope Cruz in their latest movie together, so why am I bitching about the Woodman?

British soul singer Joss Stone made her debut on TV in an episode of NBC’s American Dreams, and she parlayed that into a role in the fantasy flick “Eragon”. Her latest is the comedy “Snappers”, which according to IMDB.com is about a young girl who moves to Devon to star in a film, where she falls in love with an intellectually challenged (i.e. he’s dumb as an ox) caravan site owner, all the while dodging paparazzi. My guess is that Joss Stone plays the actress, since the movie is about the actress, and Joss Stone’s name is listed first. And oh yeah, in a scene from the movie, Joss Stone kisses a chick. On the mouth. Crikey.

Going under the never-done-me-wrong-yet assumptions of, “If it feels good, then do it,” and “If it was great the first time, why wouldn’t it be great the second and third time, too?”, here are more bikini pictures of Smallville star Laura Vandervoort, who will no doubt be going on to more fame and fortune beyond the idiot tube. Or hey, if her movie career doesn’t take off, she can always take solace from the fact that she’ll always be a major star in my fantasies, and let me assure you, I’m pretty selective. Anyhoo, here’s more of Laura Vandervoort on the set of her new movie “Into the Blue 2″, where, apparently, everyone wears a bikini. God Bless crappy direct-to-DVD sequels.

Let’s face it, kids, the chance of finding an attractive novelist is the same as the chance of me waking up tomorrow next to Miranda Kerr. Yeah, it’s POSSIBLE, but is it really gonna happen? Probably not likely. (Especially now that the restraining order is in fact. Stupid restraining orders.) So when we’re talking about Australian-Canadian Tara Moss, who is not only a successful author of crime novels, but also a model? Holy. You don’t find THAT every day. Born Canadian, our model-writer babe moved to Australia, and currently holds dual citizenship, thus making her a member of our League of Canadian Goodness, and our Hot Down Under cadre. And yes, I’m sure I’m using “cadre” wrong, but whatever, I ain’t no professor and such.

British actress Sienna Miller was at a beach somewhere at some point in time doing the bikini thing. Where? When? Why? Um, all very dumb questions, especially when there’s a very pretty girl running up a beach splashing herself all wet. Besides making a menace of herself to her various boyfriends and paparazzos out there, Sienna Miller can also be seen in the action movie “G.I. Joe” come 2009. She’ll be playing The Baroness, and yes, she’ll spend most of her time onscreen wearing a skin-tight black outfit. Word (and set pictures) also has it that Sienna is also nekkid in “Hippie Hippie Shake”, which I think is about, um, hippies. And shakes. Because, as we all know, hippies love their shakes. Stinking hippies.

If soccer still means soccer to you, and football means big men in pads running into each other like wild maniacs, then you probably have no idea what a WAG is. So what is a WAG? Or, more precisely, what are WAGs? They’re those darling girls who dates or are married to football (i.e. soccer) players, and regularly shows up in the British tabloids. Basically, really hot girls famous for their association to athletes. The boys over at CO-ED Magazine have your list of the hottest WAGs of them all. And since you have to be pretty bloody hot to even qualify as a tabloid-approved WAG, these ladies are some kind of smoking. Some samples below.

If you hadn’t already heard, The Hills star Audrina Patridge is following in the footsteps of former MTV fake reality TV show star Kristin Cavallari into the wide world of actual acting. You know, the movies. Well, as “real acting” as you will likely get in a sequel to a Jessica Alba movie. Here’s a trick to upstaging the original with Alba and Paul Walker — actually ACT. Yeah, I know, it ain’t gonna be that easy to do. But hey, “Into the Blue 2″ has a couple of nice assets to help it survive the lull between the hot dames trying to “act” — it’s got Audrina Patridge and Laura Vandervoort in bikinis. Oh my. Here’s Audrina doing her part on the set of the direct-to-DVD flick. God Bless them Hills.

Nell McAndrew has probably got the best body in all of Great Britain. Okay, there are a couple of challengers that I can think of at the top of my head, one being Abigail Clancy, who has got it going on, but she’s still relatively young so you would expect her to have a nice body. But Nell McAndrew is in her ’30s, practically ancient in the world of modeling (or so I’m told), and take a look at those abs. Holy cow. Here’s Nell McAndrew from an old issue of Front Magazine (way back in 2003), which I hear is a lot better than Back Magazine, but then again you probably already know that. And did I already mention it? Nell McAndrew is slammin’.

Their tagline is, “You wanna live in the zip, you gotta live by the code.” Yes. It sucks that much donkey ass. But hey, you probably liked the original too, didn’t you? Well guess what, you’re going to get more of the same. Well, okay, the guys who made this one threw in a token black dude — an ADOPTED one at that, because, you know, black folks don’t know how to raise their kids, or can’t, so white folks gotta lend a hand. And stuff. Basically, it’s another TV show starring people in their late ’20s acting like teenagers, written by people in their ’30s, trying to write “young”. You know, like the original 90210. Watch it. Love it. Then go shoot yourself. And if it’s teen and it blows, you gotta know it’s going to be on the CW, doncha?

To be honest with you, I don’t know if this says more about the cult of personality that is Oprah, or the women who watches and attends her shows, or just women in general. So check out this clip from Oprah’s show, where she announces that she’s NOT going to be giving away free stuff to her audience, but her audience goes bonkers anyway. Remember, she said she’s NOT going to be giving away free stuff, but all they hear is “Oprah’s Favorite Things” and goes completely insane. I mean, out of their motherlovin’ minds. Now I don’t know if Oprah ended up giving these moonbats free stuff or not, the video is only two minutes long, but holy mother of God, I am so glad I’m not a chick. Seriously, if not for the boobs and you know what down there, I wouldn’t even bother with the lot of ‘em.

When Hilary Duff’s parents were trying to come up with a name for her, and they settled on Hilary, did you think they spent another extra minute or so pondering the pros and cons of adding an extra “l” to her name? Now before you brush it off, think about it, there are definite pros and cons to having an extra “l” in your name. For one, you wouldn’t have to constantly write the extra “l”, which would, like, save you about a day or two from now to the time you’re dead. But on the other hand, you’d have to constantly answer that your name only has one “l” when people ask you in school or when they’re writing your name, which would add additional days or two to your life from now to the end of your death. Now that I think about it, it probably would even out anyways. Anyhoo. Here’s Hilary Duff in Allure magazine.

I don’t know for sure, and you probably shouldn’t put money on this being true, but I’m reasonably certain there is some kind of law against a country singer subjecting herself to this kind of totally random acts of hotness, especially at an event where more than 100 people are wearing cowboy hats. Or if there isn’t one, then there probably should be, since I don’t think there has been a country music singer who has captured the imagination of horny fanboys everywhere (okay, maybe that’s stretching it a bit; but definitely the horny country music listening ones) like new Goddess Taylor Swift. Whatever possessed her to perform onstage at last night’s CMA Awards with water pouring all over her? I don’t know, but I ain’t acomplainin’, as they say down south.

Hey, Smallville fans, I got some bad news for ya. If Supergirl in her short-shorts, midriff-baring shirt, and go-go boots was the reason you still tune into that aging show, then you’re probably not gonna be tuning in for long. Word on the Internet is that Laura Vandervoort, the Canadian Goddess who plays Supergirl on the show, will be only showing up for a few eps, and then she’ll be gone forever. Which will free Laura Vandervoort up time to do movies like “Into the Blue 2″, sequel to that Jessica Alba award winning film about really hot people in skimpy two-piece bikinis walking around beaches and diving into water and what have you. My guess is that this is Laura Vandervoort enjoying some downtime in-between shooting “Into the Blue 2″. I could be wrong, of course, but does it matter? Laura Vandervoort. Bikini. Ogle.

What do you do when your TV show is about to get canned? Show up in as many magazines as you can, wearing as little clothes as you can without being exploitative, of course. Or, if it turns out to be a tad exploitative, hey, it’s all in the name of art, right? Mind you, not that I’m complaining, even though I don’t really “get” why Grace Park, Tricia Helfer, and Katee Sackhoff, aka the Battlestar Galactica Girls, are riding around in, apparently, the desert on hogs wearing little more than undies and chaps in this latest issue of Interview Magazine. But hey, “getting” the context of things is grossly overrated. Give me a half-naked Tricia Helfer, Grace Park, and Katee Sackhoff anyday.