The Random Stuff of Interests Page

The Internet is a pretty weird place, and it just got weirder with the invent of YouTube. Besides allowing every loser with the ability to videocast put their opinions on the net (you know, sorta like this dumbass site), YouTube has allowed people to “challenge” each other over a period of days by way of video. You’ve got dance-offs, rap-offs, and video responses to something or rather. Now you have … stare contests? Uh huh. There is apparently a whole slew of this crap on YouTube at the moment, and Jessica Alba, apparently finding time between being preggers with some dude’s love child, threw down her own gauntlet. It’s really stupid, but I gotta admit, having a really hot woman like Jessica Alba stare at you for two minutes is kinda hot.

If you’ve been listening to the Democrat talking heads on TV (and pretty much whenever they get the chance they’ll tell you), John McCain is old. Really, really old. So old that, apparently, if a wind blew at him, it would blow him to another State. McCain has heard it, heard the late-night jokes, and he decided to not fight it; instead, he joined in. I saw the tail end of his guest appearance on Saturday Night Live last night, and found the YouTube version. My favorite: “The oldness it takes to protect America, to honor her, love her and tell her about what cute things the cat did.” Will it backfire? Who knows. America loves people who makes fun of themselves. It might just be crazy enough to work for the old timer…

As far as I can tell, Dukai Regina is a singer and model from Hungary, which according to my masterful command of world geography, is located somewhere between Canada and Alaska. Information on the lass in English is scarce, if by “scarce” you mean almost non-existent. But since there are a couple of YouTube music videos of her, I take that to mean she’s a somewhat popular singer in Hungary. By the way, if people from Hungary are called Hungarians, and people from America are called Americans, why aren’t people from France called Francians? Yes, it’s that kind of deep, philosophical thinking you’ll find here every day at the Random Page. Anyhoo. Dukai Regina. Sunday Treat. Please to enjoy.

The weekend is such a hassle, right? I mean, all that sun and free time, and what are you supposed to do with it all? You know what I think? It’s too much. Overkill, if you will. So how do you survive the weekend until Monday, when we’ll be putting out new posts? Why, here’s a little sumthin’ sumthin’ to hold you boys over. A little dash of Petra Nemcova never heard no one. She’s a model, you know. A supermodel, as I hear it. She also dates lots of famous people, musicians, and what have you. Which basically rules out Petra Nemcova dating any one of us, being that we don’t have a job and still live at home with our parents, but ONLY because we’re still looking for that perfect bachelor’s pad. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Seriously, who is cranking out these R&B babes, and where are they secretly keeping the R&B Babe Cranking Machine, because I gotsta get me one for the attic. Ashanti is not one of the R&B crooners I’m overly familiar with; I know the name, and I’m reasonably certain I’ve heard one or two of those songs that she used to do with a Rapper of the Week, but I don’t think I’ve ever really invested a lot of time exploring her discography, which I believe is a biography of disco. Or at least that’s what Wikipedia tells me, and it’s never been wrong before. Anyhoo. Here’s Ashanti back in a recent ish (as the kids say) of Maxim.

Okay, so Anna Kournikova is no longer tennis’ biggest draw. Heck, does she even still play tennis? I don’t know, because frankly I stopped watching ladies tennis a while ago, back when I could no longer stand the grunting. Seriously, what’s up with the grunting? It was kinda sexy for a while, but then it just got really annoying. Anyhoo. She may not technically qualify as an athlete anymore, but that’s not going to stop advertisers from going to Anna Kournikova to sell their wares. One of those forward-thinking folks are KSwiss, who sells cats. White, furry cats. I think. Look, it’s not like I actually research this stuff, you know.

You’re never going to mistake our Latin Flavor of the day, a model named Ana Luiza Castro, as one of those skinny skanks that graces runways and magazines nowadays, because Ana Luiza Castro is all meat and bones and she still manages to look gangbusters in a two-piece bikini. Now I don’t know all that much about Ana, or what her background is like, but if I had to guess, I would say the girl comes from either Mexico or Argentina or thereabouts. Basically, she’s Latin, and that’s all you need to know. That, and she’s really smokin’.

In case you haven’t heard, The New Kids on the Block (or NKOTB as they were later re-named in a stab at adulthood cash “back in the day”) are back together and are going on a reunion tour. Now this in itself isn’t all that surprising (everyone’s doing reunion tours nowadays), but it is surprising that Donnie Wahlberg decided to return. The guy’s got a thriving acting career going on, and he decides to come back to dance onstage? Hmm, I wonder if Donnie is still going to do his tough guy act. Remember he was the tough guy in the bunch? Anyways, and I’m ashame to admit this, but I did use to listen to these guys. But in my defense, I was a wee bit lad, and I just wanted to be Donnie, is all, but didn’t we all? The kids’ first single off their new album is “Summertime”.

Wait a minute, didn’t they already tried a show like this on ABC staring Carla Gugino, and it got canceled? Oh wait, that one was called Karen Sisco, and this one’s called In Plain Sight. Also, instead of Gugino, the USA Network has Mary McCormack, who I’ve had a mad crush on ever since playing Howard Stern’s long-suffering wife in the movie “Private Parts”. Mind you, not that I’m going to do anything about said crush, like, go to her house and stuff. I mean, come on, I’m not crazy or anything. (Plus gas is so expensive right now and I don’t know if I can afford the trip.) Anyhoo, here are some promos from Mary’s new show In Plain Sight on the USA Network. Mary plays a way-too-hot-to-be-one U.S. Marshall who guards a bunch of witness protection idiots. Much hilarity ensues. It co-stars Nichole Hiltz, who looks, er, weird.

Let’s face it, if real female cops looked as good as the ones on the CSI shows, a lot of guys would be lining up to pull some crimes. But seriously, CSI must be the sweetest gig in the world. You show up at a fake crime scene in designer clothes and shoes, you spit out some snappy one-liners, and then spend the next week memorizing forensics techno babble, and collect a big paycheck. You gotta wonder why anyone would leave these shows. Well Jorja Fox recently left, and now they’ve replace her with Lauren Lee Smith, who will be playing a flirtatious character named Bryce Adams. And yes, the babe factor has not declined one bit. In fact, I dare say that Lauren Lee Smith has added to it. Proof below.

Wait, People.com is posting bikini pictures of young TV starlets on vacation now? Wow, I guess I need to go to People.com more often! Their latest catch is Gossip Girl star Blake Lively, who showed up on vacation somewhere with some dude from her show doing a little (or a lot) of PDA’ing. Seriously, it must be nice to be young and rich and famous and be able to look good in a bikini. Mind you, not that I’ve thought about how great it would look if I slipped on a bikini, I’m just saying … er, let’s move on, shall we? Blake Lively with some dude name Penn something, who apparently plays her boyfriend on the show. (Yeah, that’s gonna work out.) Bikini pictures of Blake, who despite the name, is all woman, baby. OMFG, as the kids say.

My appreciation for actress Emmanuelle Chriqui’s combination of uber cuteness and next-door hotness is legendary. (And of course by “legendary” I mean it’s bordering on becoming a problem; no, seriously, someone get me some help.) Emmanuelle’s latest attempt to turn me into nothing more than a pool of dripping saliva is an appearance in GQ magazine, where she goes topless, with a shirt covering the good bits. Wait, does that qualifies as topless? Well, sort of, I guess, although since she has something on, it’s not technically topless, but she isn’t covering up her chest with a bra or some such, so maybe it does qualify — eh, nevermind. Emanuelle Chriqui, including some bikini pictures, of course.

I said this last week, and I’ll repeat here for your edification: “Syesha, the last girl standing, will be gone by next week, leaving the two Davids. And with the kids still voting, Archuleta’s got this thing sown up.” And guess what? As I predicted, Syesha was knocked off tonight, leaving the girly man and the grown-up alt rocker. Next week you can take it to the bank: The girly man will win. Why? Because I said so, and like the title says, I am God. Isn’t that enough? No? Dammit. Okay, because it’s obvious. How about that? The last few weeks of American Idol have been as predictable as Britney Spears’ little sister getting knocked up.

There’s absolutely no reason why you should be excited about “seeing a Woody Allen movie”, unless you’re a film snob, in which case mentioning that you’re “going to go see a Woody Allen movie” to anyone within earshot is probably the best thing about your day, which is kind of pathetic, but whatever, it’s your life. Anyhoo. Why should you care about watching this trailer for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”? Because it’s the movie where, word has it, Scarlett Johansson (the Woodman’s latest muse) gets into a threesome with some lucky Spanish dude and a skanky Penelope Cruz. There’s also supposed to be a major lesbian make-out scene. Hey, you can see some of that in this trailer! Now if the actual movie is half as sleaze-tastic as the trailer, then the Woodman has done a fine job. If not? Not so much.

Now I don’t know if this Natalia Rodriguez that showed up a few years ago in FHM is the same one from Wikipedia that I’m about to fill you in on, but hey, if it’s not, then whatever, it’ll just be another person I mistook for someone else. So what else is new? Anyways, here’s Wikipedia: “Natalia Rodríguez Gallego is the full name of the Spanish singer Natalia. She was a contestant on the successful Spanish TV show Operación Triunfo in 2001, where she finished 14th. She is the Spanish Pop Princess.” You know, they call me a Pop Princess, too, but not because I know how to sing. Um, but perhaps I’ve said too much.

Let’s face it, America; you got no one to blame but yourself. NBC gave you a perfectly good opportunity to ogle Michelle Ryan every week for the next few years, and what did you do? You refused to take them up on it. Instead, you allowed Michelle Ryan’s The Bionic Woman TV show to fall in the ratings, and it’s now been axed from the line-up. There, are you happy? You won’t be seeing easily the hottest British import to hit American shores since Kate Beckinsale on TV on a weekly basis anymore. You’ve been a bad, bad boy. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done! In the meantime, see what you’ll be missing. Holy God, that is a body. Is that a body? Now THAT is a body, boys.

How hot it is to listen to a really hot girl talk dirty? Olivia Munn is one such hot girl, and she was talking pretty dirty in this behind-the-scenes clip from her Complex video shoot. Basically it’s just two minutes of Olivia sitting in a chair doing a gag about which male body odor spray will make a girl jump your bones, and if that works, what else would it do? She also throws out some Asian jokes and a couple of f-bombs, so don’t play this while you’re at work, boys, and I know some of you are at work right now. You dirty, dirty little bastards. What are you doing visiting this site while your boss is walking up and down the hallway? Anyhoo. Olivia Munn talks dirty. God, she’s hot.

I don’t know what this says about Shannon Elizabeth’s movie career, but she’s getting to be known more as a celebrity who plays poker than an actress who sometimes plays poker. She really seems to love the game, and hey, why not? Poker is great fun, and a great way to lose your house to that creepy neighbor down the street who insists on playing poker with you, but only if his buddy “Rich” can join them, Rich being from out of town and what not. So what was I saying? Oh right, Shannon Elizabeth is in the current issue of Maxim Magazine, and though it’s not spectacular, Shannon Elizabeth is still easy on the eyes, and it’s good enough.

Can you really blame Han Solo for grabbing a handful of Princess Leia boobage after seeing her in that gold metal bikini being fondled by the disgusting Jabba the Hutt? I bet while he was trapped in carbonite Han Solo had nothing but time to think about how he’d grab himself a handful of Princess Leia goodness when he got the chance. And as luck would have it, the chance came during the battle for the Ewok moon, when Princess Leia gets blasted, fell down, and Han Solo made his move. (Han Solo? More like All-Hands Solo!) Way to go, you rogue! (The video was put together by these guys, who had too much time on their hands, God bless’em.)

I gotta admit, the more I see of Adam Sandler’s new comedy “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”, the more I’m liking it. It actually looks, you know, funny. But I do have one quibble with the film’s trailers: not enough Emmanuelle Chriqui. In fact, I don’t recall ever having seen Emmanuelle Chriqui in any of the trailers. I could be wrong, of course, but you know, probably not. So to make up for that great mistake by the film’s producers (or whoever cut those trailers), here are a couple of promos from “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” featuring the incredibly cute as a button Emmanuelle Chriqui. And oh yeah, that Sandler guy, too.