The Random Stuff of Interests Page

Hey, remember Alycia Lane? Well of course you do. She was the CBS news anchor who was recently involved in that whole “home wrecker” dispute with former ESPN and now NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen. Remember, she was the one who allegedly sent bikini pictures of herself to Eisen, only to have Eisen’s wife Suzy Shuster find them? Well she’s baaaaaack. Alycia Lane was recently arrested and appeared in court to plead not guilty to punching a female police cop in the face in Manhattan. Lane will have to make a re-appearance in court in April, at which point we’re sincerely hoping those bikini pictures of hers will show up online already. I mean, seriously, that is one fine looking newsbabe.

According to French model Alexandra Paressant, she’s Tony Parker’s girlfriend. Or at least, she slept with the Spurs point guard, who just happens to be married to Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria. True? Not true? I don’t know, and to be honest, I just wanna give Tony Parker a big “atta boy!” and high-five, because whether he was schtooping Eva Longiria and Alexandra Paressant or not, he’s most definitely schtooping Eva Longoria, and there’s a really, really hot French model saying he’s been schtooping her, too, which makes Tony Parker a God among men. Here are some pictures of Alexandra Paressant. Yeah, it doesn’t suck to be Tony Parker at all.

Kristen Bell is smart. Or at least that’s what her T-shirt tells me. And hey, when Kristen Bell is wearing a very tight T-shirt, what am I going to do, pretend I don’t notice? That’s like Charlie Sheen pretending he’s not the biggest douche bag in America. It just ain’t possible, man! But I digress. Here’s Kristen Bell modeling some shirts for some college magazine. I’m guessing NYU are the sponsors, since their name is on the shirts. And if not, hey, does it matter? You gotta dig Kristen Bell. And if you don’t, email me so I can go to your house and punch you in your nose and kick your cat. Bastard.

Say what you will about the upcoming movie “Wanted” (it’s crap, it has nothing to do with the comics, etc), but whoever made it sure knows a secret that Hollywood hasn’t always been able to grab onto. And what’s that secret, you ask? It’s this: You put Angelina Jolie in an action movie where she has her hands full of cold hard steel (i.e. guns), and you got yourself a hit on your hands. Think about it. How many hit movies have Jolie had? Not a whole lot, but the ones that have been hits have involved Jolie going around firing guns, including the Tomb Raider films and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. So you want a hit? Just make sure Angelina Jolie has her hands full of something cold and hard.

What time is it? It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Who knew something as simple as peanut butter and jelly, or as it’s known in the olden days, PBJ, could be such a viral masterwork? It went from this very simple video on YouTube to making an appearance in a Family Guy episode to entertaining sports fans at baseball games. And hey, what’s that guy in a banana costume doing on American Idol? That’s right, baby, it’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Now I could very well take the easy route and tell you that British model Nell McAndrew is selling a new phone service or a new phone model in these pictures, but what fun is that? Instead, I’m going to tell you that Nell McAndrew is model from the future, thus explaining the futuristic looking pants. What, you’re saying silver doesn’t automatically equal futuristic? Of course it does! Haven’t you seen any Hollywood sci-fi movies? Why, the nerve of you to challenge my assertions. How dare you! Anyhoo. Nell McAndrew’s ass is futuristic. God bless the future.

Let’s face it, kids, when your parents name you “Amelia”, you better be hot. Or at least, kinda pretty. Luckily for actress Amelia Heinle from The Bold and the Beautiful, she’s not just kinda pretty, but she’s also hot, which, uh, kinda works out, and once again reinforces my theory that I’m just way too smart for my own good. Seriously, sometimes I’m just so damn smart it scares me, kind of like when a vampire sees his own reflection in the mirror, and runs to hide under the bed. Or coffin. Or whatever it is vampires use to hide. Where was I? Oh right, Young and the Restless star Amelia Heinle is just too damn pretty for daytime soaps. Someone get this woman in primetime, pronto!

Russia is known for a lot of things — snow, furry hats, and of course, pretty songbirds like Svetlana Svetikova. Okay, so maybe they’re most known for furry hats and vodka, but you know, if you dig deeper, you might catch hints of girls like Svetlana Svetikova plying their trade as pop singers. And of course, let’s not forget all those tall, leggy teen tennis phenoms that the country cranks out at a rate of, oh, a dozen a year. You can count on the Brazilians to deliver the supermodels in droves, and you can count on the Russians for tennis phenoms. And then there is girls like Svetlana Svetikova. Good voice, interesting music video, too bad I can’t understand a lick of it.

Our latest does of Italian Spice comes courtesy of Maddalena Corvaglia, one of the co-hosts of the Italian TV show Balls of Steel. Like her fellow TV hostess Elisabetta Canalis, all that’s required of Maddalena Corvaglia to do her job is to look good on stage and in very tight skirts, two criteria that Maddalena easily meets, and then some. And as all my friends know, there’s nothing I love more than coming home from work and turning on Balls of Steel. Which is a pretty hard thing to do, considering that I don’t even have a job, and spend my days diving in and out of trash dumpsters looking for cans to sell.

Amanda Beard in a two-piece bikini is Heaven on Earth. Then again, when you’ve spent your entire life in a swimsuit and once appeared in Playboy, isn’t it a given that you should look slammin’ in a bikini? In any case, Amanda Beard was somewhere doing something with some guy, and took the time to slip on a red two-piece bikini for all the boys out there. I don’t know who the guy with her is, but he’s one lucky bastard. Also, I don’t know if this is a candid walk on the beach or a photoshoot, because at one point a woman shows up to do Amanda’s hair. Huh? Oh well, the trails and tribulations and bikinis of celebrityhood, I suppose.

So English actress Helena Bonham Carter did this really obscure movie called “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” (you may have heard about it?), playing a character called Bellatrix Lestrange (hey, it’s a fantasy novel written by a chick who was pretending to be a man, you figure it out). After “Phoenix”, she came back as the character for the sequel, “Harry Potter and the Half-Prince Blood”. Word is Helena Bonham Carter will be back for another installment, the highly anticipated “Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot That Really, Really Needs to be Emptied”, which I hear is the best Harry Potter yet. Check out Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. Strangely hot, no?

Oh my God, what a bad, weird, and funny video from, from the looks of it, either the ’80s or ’90s. It’s a live-action Winnie the Pooh (a guy in a bear suit) teaching another guy in a bear suit (except this suit is pink) about “bad touching”. I think this is somehow supposed to teach kids about not letting strangers molest them, or something like that. Well, it’s pretty damn creepy, but then again, when you have guys in fake bear suits talking about “bad touch”, how could it NOT be creepy? Holy crap. Quite possibly the greatest (and most disturbing) thing I’ve ever seen.

Mischa Barton’s “people” must have told her in her post-OC career that she needs to get out there and shake that money maker of hers, because frankly, Mischa hasn’t been making money for anyone lately. Her movies have bombed since she left The OC, and that once-promising career seems to have waned a tad. After a fantastic appearance in Arena Magazine, Mischa has now journeyed onto the pages of Maxim Magazine. Check out a couple of pics from her upcoming spread in the men’s mag. Oooh, yes, Mischa definitely puts the “Oh” in “Oh wow, not bad at all. Not bad at all…”

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never seen this before. It’s the original pilot of Family Guy by show creator Seth MacFarlane that, apparently he sent in to FOX as an example of the show he wanted to do. Everything you know and love about Family Guy and the Griffin family is here, except the art is not exactly smooth stuff, and it kind of looks like Seth ol boy drew everything on paper by hand. Also, not all the voices are the same as the ones from the regular show; Seth Green doesn’t do Chris and there are other differences. If you’ve already seen the episode (and chances are you already have), then there’s nothing really new here, but it’s interesting to see how it all started anyways.

Our British lass for the day, Coleen McLoughlin, is famous for being famous. Or in this case, famous for being married to a football player. (That’s soccer to you Americanos.) According to her entry in Wikipedia, Coleen “regularly appears in the English tabloids amidst accusations of doing nothing but shopping all day and frequently holidaying in sunny locations.” And they say that like it’s a bad thing! I mean, come on, if all you have to do is shop all day and holiday in sunny locations, wouldn’t you go for it? What, there’s something better? (Well, maybe not the shopping part. I’m not much of a shopper. In fact, I only do my shopping on people’s lawns when they’re not home, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.)

Okay, so maybe Alli Spencer is the ONLY reason to watch golf, because let’s face it, any sport that requires total silence from everyone can’t be called an actual “sport”. If you’re such a weak assling that you can’t “putt” or “stroke” your little white ball while people are talking, then you’re just as lame as tennis players, and as we all know, tennis players BARELY qualifies as real athletes. Now, if you can make that putt while people are screaming your mother’s name behind your back, then okay, I’ll bow down to your skills. But where was I? Oh right, Alli Spencer. She’s the girlfriend of a golfer who is currently making waves by showing up in FHM. Some pictures of the lovely lass below.

The lovely Linda Cardellini plays Nurse Samantha Taggert on the long-running NBC show ER, which as we all know is short for, erm, emergency…something. Anyways. Before that, Linda Cardellini was in the Scooby Doo movies, and in 2008 you can see her in the feature-length flick “The Heaven Project”. Here she is in the January 2008 issue of Maxim Magazine, and looking all kinds of fine. If there was a scale for “okay fine” and “really fine”, Linda would end up somewhere towards the “really fine” end. And if you like that wacky analogy, you’ll love my pet rock collection. Linda in Maxim. Please to enjoy.

Our Picture of the Day is Scarlett Johansson, in the one picture that had men everywhere in a-twitter when it came out a few years back. I’m not sure when that was, but it was a while ago, but to this day I can’t get this picture out of my mind. Tell me this is not, bar none, the sexiest damn picture of Scarlett Johansson you’ve ever seen? I don’t know if it’s the sweater, the lack of a shirt underneath the sweater, or those knee-high cotton socks. We haven’t heard a whole lot from Scarlett Johansson lately (did anyone actually see “The Nanny Diaries”?), but damn, we sure saw a lot of her here. Picture of the Day, indeed!

In this week’s Totally Unnecessary Phallic Symbol of the Day, Megan Fox likes it very hard and very long. I’m talking about the glass thingamagig they give to winners of the Annual Hollywood Life Breakthrough Awards, of course. (What did you think I mean? Hush your dirty mind!) And no, I don’t know what the Annual Hollywood Life Breakthrough Awards is, and I don’t really want to know. It’s probably for something lame because if the Oscars or Golden Globes are lame, how unlame can something called the “Annual Hollywood Life Breakthrough” not be? My point exactly. Now watch Megan Fox get her hand on something hard and long and let’s call it a day.

Shannyn Sossamon starring in the Hollywood remake of the Japanese horror movie “One Missed Call” isn’t a surprise, because she’s mostly been doing genre work now, but I am shock to see Edward Burns co-starring. Didn’t this guy used to have an actual movie career? Oh well. Anyways, here are some “One Missed Call” stills with Shannyn Sossamon. And yes, that name is very, very hard to spell. I have to look it up every single time, and I really wish she would change her name to something else, maybe like, “Shannon Sass” or something similar. Is that too much to ask? Well probably, but Shannyn looks good in the movie, which I’m sure will blow. But don’t take my word for it. (Although you should.)