Rebecca Romijn to Marry Downward

You know, I don’t think Rebecca Romijn quite understands that when one is as super hot as she is, you don’t marry down, you marry up. The doll is going from John Stamos (who, even as a very heterosexual male, I can say with great conviction is friggin handsome) to Jerry friggin O’Connell. Yeah, the fat kid from “Stand by Me”, now turned into the goofy looking guy on “Crossing Jordan”. What is the world coming to? Look, I’m not saying this marriage isn’t going to last, I’m just saying that this marriage is abominable and we, as a human species, should put our foot down and demand that Rebecca do better. Say, me for instance. Call me, Rebecca!

Here are some reasons why this upcoming marriage is just two slaughtered goats short of an unholy union.

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