The Razzies (aka The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation) spends a lot of time giving out awards to shitty movies, and 2007 is no exception. Like the Oscars and Golden Globes, everyone in Hollywood waits with bated breath to see if they will be on the list of Razzies nominees — well, probably not. But that won’t stop us from listing this year’s nominees (the 27th annual bash — with emphasis on “bash”). So without further ado, here are the Razzies.
Heading the dis-honor roll of Worst Achievements in Film this year are a lascivious murder mystery that turned out to be a laugh riot, and a comedy nearly as devoid of laughs as SCHINDLER’S LIST: Sharon Stone as a “femme fatale” The L.A. Times called “footloose and panty-free” in BASIC INSTINCT 2 and Shawn and Marlon Wayans in their brother Keenan Ivory Wayans’ blatant knock-off of a 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon, LITTLE MAN. Each racked up 7 shots at the spray-painted gold statuettes no one in Hollywood really wants to “win.” Joining these films in the final circle as Worst Picture nominees are M. Night Shyamalan’s brain-dead bedtime story (and box office dud) LADY IN THE WATER, Oscar winner Nicolas Cage donning an unconvincing bear suit in the laugh-out-loud funny remake of the Australian thriller WICKER MAN, and a film helmed by the man many Internet users consider the worst director alive today, Uwe Boll’s BLOODRAYNE.
The Wayans brothers and Cage will be competing for Worst Actor of 2006 against last year’s “winner” Rob Schneider in BENCHWARMERS, former TV funnyman Tim Allen, with a trio of terrible titles (SANTA CLAUSE 3, SHAGGY DOG and ZOOM) and Larry the Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) as Larry the Cable Guy in LARRY THE CABLE GUY: HEALTH INSPECTOR. Vying with Stone for Worst Actress will be repeat offender Jessica Simpson (nominated this year for EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH), teen-idol (and terrible role model) Lindsay Lohan in JUST MY LUCK, newcomer Kristanna Loken in BLOODRAYNE and spelling-challenged risible siblings Hilary and Haylie Duff in MATERIALS GIRLS. Other well-known names and former Oscar darlings getting dinged with Golden Raspberry nods for 2006 include Ben Kingsley, Martin Short and Danny DeVito competing as Worst Supporting Actor, and RAZZIE® regulars Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra competing with LOST star Michelle Rodriguez, Kristin Chenoweth and Kate Bosworth (as an ultra-lame Lois Lane in SUPERMAN RETURNS) for Worst Supporting Actress. This year’s newest RAZZIE® category salutes the dearth of quality G and PG rated movie fare in 2006: Nominated as Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment are DECK THE HALLS, GARFIELD 2, RV, SANTA CLAUSE 3 and SHAGGY DOG.
Good luck to the nominees! (Well, not really…)
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