Gore Verbinski to Produce The Host Remake

If you’re one of the few people dying to see an American version of Joon-ho Bong’s 2006 Korean creature flick “The Host”, then you’re in luck, because the producers behind the movie have sold their souls to Columbia, and the studio, along with “Pirates of the Caribbean” director Gore Verbinski will be producing the remake for a domestic audience. Wait, Verbinski? Well okay, he knows how to handle big action movies, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, right? Well actually, Verbinski will just be “developing” the remake, while commercial director Fredrik Bond will be making his directorial debut on the film. Yes, his first movie. Yeah, it’s like that. Sorry, kids. The studio has also tapped Mark Poirier (“Smart People”) to pen the English adaptation.

Variety has your remake plans:

Story follows a town terrorized by a giant mutant squidlike creature hatched by toxins that flow into a nearby river from a military base. When the creature grabs a little girl, her dysfunctional family must band together to rescue her.

Verbinski will produce with Vertigo’s Roy Lee and Doug Davison, along with Paul Brooks.

But hey, lovers of the original, I wouldn’t worry too much, because according to the same Variety article, first-time director Fredrik Bond has done commercials for everyone from Nike to Adidas. Sure, they were all 30-second spots, but I’m certain they’ve prepared him for a full-length, big action movie about a killer fish from the river. Right?

Yeah, anyways, sorry, lovers of the original. You have my sympathies. But hey, cheer up. There’s always “The Host 2”, the official sequel to the original that’s about to come out. That one’s … er, not written or directed by the original director, either. Um, double sympathies?

Below: “A remake? Oh dear God, why a remake? No!!!!!!!!!”