When I first saw people at my local electronics store playing Guitar Hero in the aisles, I thought it was interesting, but kept walking past it. Then, one day, I stopped to watch them play, and decided, “Yeah, this could be fun.” So I bought it, took it home, and played it for a couple of hours. Loved it. Alas, it didn’t take long for me to figure out that Guitar Hero was kind of stupid, and I was really stupid for playing it. Basically, you’re pressing keys as dictated by the game. You know, just like a monkey. Yes, that’s right, I’m saying that Guitar Hero makes players into nothing more than mindless, monkey-see, monkey-do primates.

Anyways, Brett Ratner wants to make a movie about Guitar Hero. He tells MTV:

“I love ‘Guitar Hero’ and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie, if Activision would ever let me. I’m trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise? Not that I would make a bad movie. So that would be cool, to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie.

“It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the ‘Guitar Hero’ competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts.”

Heh, I like that line, “Not that I would make a bad movie.” Oh Brett, you’re incorrigible, you.

Anyways, did I mention that if you play Guitar Hero, you’re as worthless as a monkey? Go play outside and play basketball or throw a football around or something. Or if you’re just going to veg out in front of the PS3, at least pick up a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4, for God’s sake. Or better yet, go learn how to play an actual guitar, you loser.

Below: this is what you look like when you play Guitar Hero, you just don’t know it. (via)