Vampires are probably the only undead creatures of the night that we don’t immediately run away from. To be sure, there’s nothing good about getting bitten and turned into a bloodsucking creature, but it sure helps that a lot of the vampires that have appeared in the movies and on TV have been of the hot looking variety. And since vampires only exist in the movies, we have absolutely no problems assuming that all vampires are indeed as sexy and inviting as the women on our list of Horror’s 10 Sexiest Bloodsuckers of the Night, aka Vampires.
So cover up your necks, take your vampire infection medicine, and let’s get down to our top ten list, starting with #10…
#10. Angie Everhart (“Bordello of Blood”)
I don’t remember a whole lot of things from the “Tales from the Crypt” movie “Bordello of Blood”, but I do remember that towards the end, Angie Everhart, who plays vampire Lilith, takes a bite out of co-star Erika Eleniak, and all was right with the world. Other than that, the movie also starred comedian Dennis Miller in what is probably his only starring role that I know of. Plus, one of the Corey guys. I don’t remember which one it was, and at this point, does it matter? The one thing that puts Angie Everhart’s vampire on our list? Red hair. I’m pretty sure this is the only (natural) redheaded vampire I’ve seen at the movies.
Bonus sexy points: Lilith runs a bordello … of vampire hookers! I believe this was one of the plots of the film, but if not, eh, it’s still nice to think about.
#9. Kristanna Loken (“Bloodrayne”)
Kristanna Loken loses points for being in a Uwe Boll movie, but gets extra points for hotness and ability to kick ass in “Bloodrayne”, where she plays the character Rayne, one of those pissed off half-human, half-vampire types looking for payback from the vampires. To this end, she gets herself long blades and goes on a slashing spree. Luckily for all involved, Loken decided to skip on the “Bloodrayne” sequel. The best scene in “Bloodrayne” involves Loken’s character shagging her human love interest while they’re pinned up against some cell bars. Plus, there was this lesbian vampire kiss below. Never say Uwe Boll never gave you nothin’, kids.
Bonus sexy points: Um, which part of lesbian vampire kiss don’t you understand?
#8. Josie Maran, Silvia Colloca, Elena Anaya (“Van Helsing”)
Our Top 10 countdown of the 10 sexiest bloodsuckers of the night consists of two trios of beauties who have played the brides of Dracula in cinema. The only reason why Josie Maran, Silvia Colloca, and Elena Anaya are a tad lower on the countdown than the other brides is because, well, who the hell is Josie Maran, Silvia Colloca, and Elena Anaya? Exactly. Of course, the fact that we don’t know who any of the three women are doesn’t prevent them from getting our blood pumping, which is probably not such a good thing being that there are vamps present and all. Josie Maran, Silvia Colloca, and Elena Anaya carries on the bride of Dracula traditional very well, and the fact that they can transform into flying gargoyle-type creatures makes them somehow more … intriguing.
Bonus sexy points: They can transform. This, I believe, makes them extra limber.
#7. Leonor Varela (“Blade II”)
She was such a hot to trot vampire that she could melt even the heart of vengeful vampire killer Blade. Or at least, made him re-think chopping her to pieces on first sight. In “Blade II”, actress Leonor Varela played Nyssa, part of the vampire aristocrat that enlists Blade to help them fight some even nastier new type of vampires. In the course of the film, Nyssa and Blade gets a boner for each other, but alas for our hero Blade, love is not meant for one such as he, and he was left to hold onto Nyssa as she literally crumbles away in his arms. But hey, while it lasted, Leonor Varela gave us one hell of a sexy vampire. The fact that she can kick ass and go toe-to-toe with Blade doesn’t hurt, either.
Bonus sexy points: Vamps with Spanish accents are just hot.
#6. Jami Gertz (“Lost Boys”)
Those of you who only know Jami Gertz as the wife with the weird accent on the CBS sitcom Still Standing probably has no idea that “back in the day” Jami Gertz was as hot as they come. In 1987′s “The Lost Boys”, she played a vampire name Star who spent her nights prowling the boardwalks, using her charms and good looks to lure in men. Our vampire with a heart of gold eventually ended up helping her would-be human victim against her brood, led by a vicious Kiefer Sutherland before his terrorist fighting days. The film also co-starred Jason Patric, who wasn’t nearly as annoying then as he is now. “The Lost Boys” recently got a sequel, but since Jami Gertz is nowhere to be seen, just ignore it like the rest of us.
Bonus sexy points: She’s a vamp with a heart of gold, which is definitely better than a vamp with, say, a heart of daggers. Or something.
Pages: 1 2