I Survived Hurricane Ike for THIS…?

“Beverly Hills Ninja 2″. I shit you not. Someone actually thought this was a good idea. Okay, someone didn’t think this was a good idea; someone thought this was an easy way to make money. And yes, I survived the ferocious winds and power outages of Hurricane Ike to bring you this news of a sequel to the Chris Farley comedy masterpiece “Beverly Hills Ninja”, in which Farley played an overweight white kid who also happens to be a ninja. Sort of. Mostly, Robin Shou of “Mortal Kombat” fame goes around saving his fat ass. Now they’re doing a sequel to it, courtesy of the guy who wrote and produced the original film, who will be directing this one. So, what have we learned here? Movie title recognition + David Hasselhoff + cheapie direct-to-DVD market = superfluous sequel.

Variety has your lowdown on the browdown:

Mitch Klebanoff, a writer and co-producer of the original film, has scripted and will helm the sequel. Story involves an orphaned boy who wants to be a ninja but becomes involved in a crime in Hollywood while looking for his real parents.

David Hasselhoff, Lucas Grabeel (”High School Musical”) and Taiwanese model-turned-actress Lin Chiling (”Red Cliff”) are set to star in the sequel.

So, no Chris Farley, but David Hasselhoff? What, they couldn’t get Kevin Farley, Chris’s younger brother, as a stand-in? Well, okay, that would be kind of creepy.

But you know what “Beverly Hills Ninja 2″ does have? Look down.

Below: Lin Chiling is just chillin’. Hotly.