Is Roland Kickinger Your New Conan?

If Roland Kickinger’s life was a movie, it would be called “White Single Male”. Apparently Roland Kickinger’s entire career has been leading up to replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger as cinema’s next great Austraian bodybuilder turned actor. Besides hailing from the same country as Arnold, Kickinger is also an ex-bodybuilder, recently played a Terminator in “Terminator Salvation”, and once played Arnold in a TV movie about, of course, Arnold. And now? According to THR’s Risky Biz Blog, Kickinger has landed the cush job of playing the next Conan The Barbarian in the planned remake.

According to the blog, Lionsgate and Nu Image/Millennium have found their beefcake for their reboot, which is set to be directed by Marcus Nispel, the go-to guy for franchise reboots, having rebooted “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and more recently, “Friday the 13th” for the Platinum Dunes boys. Why Kickinger? You mean besides everything I’ve already listed above?

More about Kickinger: he’s 41-years old, from Vienna Austria (Schwarzenegger is from Thal, Styria, Austria according to IMDB.com), and has not exactly had to stretch his acting muscles in the films he’s appeared in. I don’t think he even has a line in “Terminator Salvation”, though to be fair, Schwarzenegger wasn’t exactly an acting powerhouse himself when he landed “Conan” in 1982.

Bottom line, he obviously can toss around broadswords like they’re toothpicks with those guns, and as long as he can grunt out a couple of lines per page, he should be a’ight. It’s not like we’re talking about “Citizen Kane” here, folks. It’s about a guy with a sword, wearing fur skins running around hacking people to pieces.

Update: According to LatinoReview, Kickinger is NOT Conan.

Roland Kickinger as Conan IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT! NOT FUCKING TRUE! Trust me guys, I have a super solid source at both Lionsgate and Millenium and they laughed their asses off! Kickinger as Conan?! Folks, think how on the nose and ludicrous that sounds.

Whew, it’s a good thing I put the question mark in the header, huh?

Although I don’t quite get why Kickinger as Conan would be so “ludicrous”. Again, it’s a movie about a musclebound guy who goes around hacking people to pieces with a sword, originally played by a bodybuilder who couldn’t even speak that much English at the time. Which part of that screams “Oscar winning actor needed”? Anyhoo.

Below: Pffft. I’d look like that too, if I, you know, worked out.



About Nix

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Editor/Writer at BeyondHollywood.com. Likes: long walks on the beach and Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic movies. Dislikes: 3D, shaky cam, and shaky cam in 3D. Got a site issue? Wanna submit Movie/TV news? Or to email me in regards to anything on the site, you can do so at nix (at) beyondhollywood.com.

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  • http://thecimmerian.com/ Al Harron

    The reason Kickinger is a ludicrous decision is because this is not a reboot of Conan the Barbarian. It is a new adaptation of the source material written in the 1930s, which is celebrated almost universally as one of the foundations of modern fantasy literature, and one of the foundations of the entire Sword & Sorcery genre. An entire GENRE of literature. An adaptation for one of the other foundations got TEN Oscars.

    If this was a true reboot of the films, complete with Thulsa Doom, Wheel of Pain, Subotai et al, or a sequel/prequel, then certainly Kickinger would be a great choice. However, Robert E. Howard has only recently escaped from the miasma of “adolescent pulp garbage”, and there has been a great rise in literary scholarship in the past few decades. As a film, Conan the Barbarian is no more a representation of Howard than the Disney Tarzan is a representation of Edgar Rice Burroughs. This is a fresh start, connected to the 80′s films in all but name.

    The last Howard Days festival was attended by Larry D. Thomas, the poet laureate of Texas. As soon as Thomas read some Howard, he was a fan, and was not shy of his appraisal. A Conan film done right has every right to acknowledgment at the Academy Awards, at least as much as Lord of the Rings did.

  • http://thecimmerian.com Al Harron

    The reason Kickinger is a ludicrous decision is because this is not a reboot of Conan the Barbarian. It is a new adaptation of the source material written in the 1930s, which is celebrated almost universally as one of the foundations of modern fantasy literature, and one of the foundations of the entire Sword & Sorcery genre. An entire GENRE of literature. An adaptation for one of the other foundations got TEN Oscars.

    If this was a true reboot of the films, complete with Thulsa Doom, Wheel of Pain, Subotai et al, or a sequel/prequel, then certainly Kickinger would be a great choice. However, Robert E. Howard has only recently escaped from the miasma of “adolescent pulp garbage”, and there has been a great rise in literary scholarship in the past few decades. As a film, Conan the Barbarian is no more a representation of Howard than the Disney Tarzan is a representation of Edgar Rice Burroughs. This is a fresh start, connected to the 80′s films in all but name.

    The last Howard Days festival was attended by Larry D. Thomas, the poet laureate of Texas. As soon as Thomas read some Howard, he was a fan, and was not shy of his appraisal. A Conan film done right has every right to acknowledgment at the Academy Awards, at least as much as Lord of the Rings did.

  • Michael L. Hodges

    Damn straight, Al!

  • Michael L. Hodges

    Damn straight, Al!

  • http://iareruss.deviantart.com/ Russ

    Wow, that’s alot. But seriously, I agree with Al, why use actors that are just going to make it seem like a remake when it isn’t. I can’t say who I think would play the part well, I’m not good at that because I tend to change my mind several times, on not only that, but many things I make decisions on. So it’s just gonna have to be left for somebody else.

    However, whoever is officially chosen to play Conan better sound right, and act right – if not then somebody better teach him. Cause the movie isn’t going to make much if things are thought through as smart as ya can. Now I’m not a super brain, but I understand that much.

    I will definitely check back here again, for updates. Thanks for this awesome website. However, ya need some new graphics, the template is poorly made. No pun intended.

    • adel

      hi the new conan the barbarian will be done in partnership with ED CAPITAL who own the caracter right of conan the barbarian , had the chance to talk to ERIK FALLSTROM the owner of the compagny ,who told me that they have find a director ,but nothing about the cast ,so anything right now its purely speculation

  • http://iareruss.deviantart.com Russ

    Wow, that’s alot. But seriously, I agree with Al, why use actors that are just going to make it seem like a remake when it isn’t. I can’t say who I think would play the part well, I’m not good at that because I tend to change my mind several times, on not only that, but many things I make decisions on. So it’s just gonna have to be left for somebody else.

    However, whoever is officially chosen to play Conan better sound right, and act right – if not then somebody better teach him. Cause the movie isn’t going to make much if things are thought through as smart as ya can. Now I’m not a super brain, but I understand that much.

    I will definitely check back here again, for updates. Thanks for this awesome website. However, ya need some new graphics, the template is poorly made. No pun intended.

    • adel

      hi the new conan the barbarian will be done in partnership with ED CAPITAL who own the caracter right of conan the barbarian , had the chance to talk to ERIK FALLSTROM the owner of the compagny ,who told me that they have find a director ,but nothing about the cast ,so anything right now its purely speculation

  • zombie134

    I agree! In the novels Conan talked quite a bit! Arnold’s Conan was enteraining but anyone who has read Howard’s novels will know that he does not personify R.Howards Conan. He was tough, fast, smart, compassionate but also he was an animal of sorts and a powerful foe to contend with. A hero who could fight 30 men at once but get taken out by a sling! But howard’s story were not just about Conan but about so-called civilization and the degradation there of. Anyone interested in Conan MUST read Howard’s stories. Only then will they understand Hyboria and it’s secrets.

  • zombie134

    I agree! In the novels Conan talked quite a bit! Arnold’s Conan was enteraining but anyone who has read Howard’s novels will know that he does not personify R.Howards Conan. He was tough, fast, smart, compassionate but also he was an animal of sorts and a powerful foe to contend with. A hero who could fight 30 men at once but get taken out by a sling! But howard’s story were not just about Conan but about so-called civilization and the degradation there of. Anyone interested in Conan MUST read Howard’s stories. Only then will they understand Hyboria and it’s secrets.